FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > travelling isn't a problem
travelling isn't a problem
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I work all over the country from North to South so I msg women I'm attracted to not just anyone but soon as the miles piles on your a time waster I'd travel 200 mile if I clicked with someone |
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The further someone has to travel the less likely they are to turn up has been my experience on here.,
I wouldn’t organise a meet with an unverified guy more than a couple of miles away. 99% of the time it would be a waste of time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know we out number women to men on here I've travelled all my life working but I always turn up when I've arranged plans it was just recently 15 20 miles from my home is too far these days which isn't local |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't accomadate due to family... No good to me if you live a mile away, and still cannot... However, I could/would travel if it ticked those boxes "
family is one thing I know but if you arranged a meet for a time and place what's the difference the date has been planned it just means id set off 2 hours before had
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know we out number women to men on here I've travelled all my life working but I always turn up when I've arranged plans it was just recently 15 20 miles from my home is too far these days which isn't local "
I have a current interest in someone 200+ miles away, outside my age perimeters... On paper it's a hell no... In reality, I'm curious potentially |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know we out number women to men on here I've travelled all my life working but I always turn up when I've arranged plans it was just recently 15 20 miles from my home is too far these days which isn't local
I have a current interest in someone 200+ miles away, outside my age perimeters... On paper it's a hell no... In reality, I'm curious potentially "
well I'm only 90 miles away so I say give the lad a chance will only be his loss if he fks up  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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surely you see the same names around your area 1 or 2 might catch your eye but I see women from other areas i get talking to them but then soon as they ask were you from bang that's it tok far thqts why I was mentioning about travelling I travel hundreds of miles a week for work that's for money I'd happily travel for a woman that catches my eye and is just as naughty as I am mabie it's just my area that's shit |
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"surely you see the same names around your area 1 or 2 might catch your eye but I see women from other areas i get talking to them but then soon as they ask were you from bang that's it tok far thqts why I was mentioning about travelling I travel hundreds of miles a week for work that's for money I'd happily travel for a woman that catches my eye and is just as naughty as I am mabie it's just my area that's shit "
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But those women you're attracted to can probably find men they're attracted to locally, so why would they take a risk on someone who needs to travel or is passing through? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"surely you see the same names around your area 1 or 2 might catch your eye but I see women from other areas i get talking to them but then soon as they ask were you from bang that's it tok far thqts why I was mentioning about travelling I travel hundreds of miles a week for work that's for money I'd happily travel for a woman that catches my eye and is just as naughty as I am mabie it's just my area that's shit
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But those women you're attracted to can probably find men they're attracted to locally, so why would they take a risk on someone who needs to travel or is passing through?"
so getting let down locally it's n different the conversations could be brilliant at home and let down what a hour or 2 drive it's nothing really if you're interested in someone |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Some folk want people that are local. Passing through with work doesn't equal local."
Surely all that matters is you see each other as frequently as you both agree?
Travels never bothered me I work globally so even a flight to Glasgow or train to Manchester feels a relatively short trip for someone important to me |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"surely you see the same names around your area 1 or 2 might catch your eye but I see women from other areas i get talking to them but then soon as they ask were you from bang that's it tok far thqts why I was mentioning about travelling I travel hundreds of miles a week for work that's for money I'd happily travel for a woman that catches my eye and is just as naughty as I am mabie it's just my area that's shit
.............................
But those women you're attracted to can probably find men they're attracted to locally, so why would they take a risk on someone who needs to travel or is passing through?
so getting let down locally it's n different the conversations could be brilliant at home and let down what a hour or 2 drive it's nothing really if you're interested in someone "
Plenty of women are choosy and will wait and do see guys hundreds even thousands of miles away , 90% of the women I know here are not local by any means.
Others will settle for what they can find locally too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some folk want people that are local. Passing through with work doesn't equal local.
Surely all that matters is you see each other as frequently as you both agree?
Travels never bothered me I work globally so even a flight to Glasgow or train to Manchester feels a relatively short trip for someone important to me "
I personaly agree with what your saying here, but that sentiment only works for you if the other person feels the same.
I read often that convenience is high on what people look for when swinging.
Me being somewhere on time is a thing I do, and always have. No matter where I need to be.
And there's a couple of people I like enough that the travel time doesn't bother me.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"100% lad I agree "
I've had some brilliant conversations with women far away and soon as its going well and mention a social it like your shot down because the distance is alot. I understand that they may have been let down, mabie were just painted with same brush i was just wondering if it was me or others have had the same experiences |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Travelling 200 miles to meet someone on the internet, which could easily turn out to be a fake profile is just plain insane. "
It takes a lot of trust for me to step out the door to meet somewhere 5 mins away at the moment. It's no different if I'm travelling 20 mile or 200.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Travelling 200 miles to meet someone on the internet, which could easily turn out to be a fake profile is just plain insane. "
the fake stage has been passed the msging the cam calls but soon as the planning starts they think your a no show I've booked hotels and traveled but then ended up partying on my own in a random city |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Travelling 200 miles to meet someone on the internet, which could easily turn out to be a fake profile is just plain insane. "
Talk to them beforehand perhaps?
It amazes me how people can't tell if someone is real or not. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Some folk want people that are local. Passing through with work doesn't equal local.
Surely all that matters is you see each other as frequently as you both agree?
Travels never bothered me I work globally so even a flight to Glasgow or train to Manchester feels a relatively short trip for someone important to me
I personaly agree with what your saying here, but that sentiment only works for you if the other person feels the same.
I read often that convenience is high on what people look for when swinging.
Me being somewhere on time is a thing I do, and always have. No matter where I need to be.
And there's a couple of people I like enough that the travel time doesn't bother me.
"
Well I’m not a swinger so maybe it’s different but if convenience is more important to them than sex with the right person I’d pass them by personally |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Travelling 200 miles to meet someone on the internet, which could easily turn out to be a fake profile is just plain insane.
Talk to them beforehand perhaps?
It amazes me how people can't tell if someone is real or not. "
I just said I was talking before hand and video call I've had 2 women who agreed to meet all arranged then never showed up and both replied back apologising saying that they never thought someone would travel nearly 2 hours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some folk want people that are local. Passing through with work doesn't equal local.
Surely all that matters is you see each other as frequently as you both agree?
Travels never bothered me I work globally so even a flight to Glasgow or train to Manchester feels a relatively short trip for someone important to me
I personaly agree with what your saying here, but that sentiment only works for you if the other person feels the same.
I read often that convenience is high on what people look for when swinging.
Me being somewhere on time is a thing I do, and always have. No matter where I need to be.
And there's a couple of people I like enough that the travel time doesn't bother me.
Well I’m not a swinger so maybe it’s different but if convenience is more important to them than sex with the right person I’d pass them by personally "
Pretty much what he said. But I guess it depends what you're looking for, if it's just hook ups then they aren't gonna be interested in people miles away. Or similarly if they want to see someone fairly regularly, then again distance is gonna make that difficult.
Personally, I'd rather meet someone 100's of miles away that I actually liked instead of meeting someone just because they're local. Where they actually are is probably the last thing I notice about a guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Travelling 200 miles to meet someone on the internet, which could easily turn out to be a fake profile is just plain insane.
Talk to them beforehand perhaps?
It amazes me how people can't tell if someone is real or not.
I just said I was talking before hand and video call I've had 2 women who agreed to meet all arranged then never showed up and both replied back apologising saying that they never thought someone would travel nearly 2 hours "
I was replying to the other guy!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some folk want people that are local. Passing through with work doesn't equal local.
Surely all that matters is you see each other as frequently as you both agree?
Travels never bothered me I work globally so even a flight to Glasgow or train to Manchester feels a relatively short trip for someone important to me
I personaly agree with what your saying here, but that sentiment only works for you if the other person feels the same.
I read often that convenience is high on what people look for when swinging.
Me being somewhere on time is a thing I do, and always have. No matter where I need to be.
And there's a couple of people I like enough that the travel time doesn't bother me.
Well I’m not a swinger so maybe it’s different but if convenience is more important to them than sex with the right person I’d pass them by personally
Pretty much what he said. But I guess it depends what you're looking for, if it's just hook ups then they aren't gonna be interested in people miles away. Or similarly if they want to see someone fairly regularly, then again distance is gonna make that difficult.
Personally, I'd rather meet someone 100's of miles away that I actually liked instead of meeting someone just because they're local. Where they actually are is probably the last thing I notice about a guy. "
I'd rather meet someone who I'm attracted to doesn't matter were there from I have a preference I'm attracted to not just anything locally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess it depends what you are looking for as it has been mentioned.
But I do understand why ppl do not want to get involved in any chin wag with someone that is far away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"that what Web cam is for
I use that for phone sex
Me too!!
your profile is hidden it will be hard to cam
I get by. "
everyone always does I have to agree I'd just like to put a face to the conversation and say thanks for your opinion x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I wouldn't because it means hotel meets as I don't accommodate. Not what I'm looking for. If that means I don't meet anyone, ok. "
Ooh I love an excuse to stay in a hotel.
Probably the main reason I'd meet anyone to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I wouldn't because it means hotel meets as I don't accommodate. Not what I'm looking for. If that means I don't meet anyone, ok.
Ooh I love an excuse to stay in a hotel.
Probably the main reason I'd meet anyone to be honest. "
I find the idea off putting and I couldn't afford it. I know I'm probably in the minority  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I wouldn't because it means hotel meets as I don't accommodate. Not what I'm looking for. If that means I don't meet anyone, ok.
Ooh I love an excuse to stay in a hotel.
Probably the main reason I'd meet anyone to be honest.
I find the idea off putting and I couldn't afford it. I know I'm probably in the minority "
I'm old fashioned, the guy can pay
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I wouldn't because it means hotel meets as I don't accommodate. Not what I'm looking for. If that means I don't meet anyone, ok.
Ooh I love an excuse to stay in a hotel.
Probably the main reason I'd meet anyone to be honest.
I find the idea off putting and I couldn't afford it. I know I'm probably in the minority
I'm old fashioned, the guy can pay
"
I've had men offer to but I want to meet someone regularly. Just doesn't sit well with me. |
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"Travelling 200 miles to meet someone on the internet, which could easily turn out to be a fake profile is just plain insane. "
Some people have other responsibilities and can't make plans far in advance or may have to change plans at short notice so from a choice of someone local who can meet up quickly or someone who takes hours just to get there they will choose the first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Travelling 200 miles to meet someone on the internet, which could easily turn out to be a fake profile is just plain insane. "
I’m a fucking mad man. I knew that already though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you genuinely like someone it really doesn't matter where they live. I met a woman who lived 300 miles away and we saw each other every weekend for a year. but of course it's a lot more convenient if they live local. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I wouldn't because it means hotel meets as I don't accommodate. Not what I'm looking for. If that means I don't meet anyone, ok.
Ooh I love an excuse to stay in a hotel.
Probably the main reason I'd meet anyone to be honest.
I find the idea off putting and I couldn't afford it. I know I'm probably in the minority
I'm old fashioned, the guy can pay
"
I’m even more older fashioned, I club them over the head and drag them to my cave. |
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"I know we out number women to men on here I've travelled all my life working but I always turn up when I've arranged plans it was just recently 15 20 miles from my home is too far these days which isn't local
I have a current interest in someone 200+ miles away, outside my age perimeters... On paper it's a hell no... In reality, I'm curious potentially "
250 miles away...too old ...it must be me ...yay  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a guy travel travel 603 miles to visit me from Fab, over a year later we're seeing each other via plane! It can work but my kids are adults and I'm self employed so can arrange time easily |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you genuinely like someone it really doesn't matter where they live. I met a woman who lived 300 miles away and we saw each other every weekend for a year. but of course it's a lot more convenient if they live local."
It doesn't matter to you, but I have kids I'm not deserting every weekend! |
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"100% lad I agree
I've had some brilliant conversations with women far away and soon as its going well and mention a social it like your shot down because the distance is alot. I understand that they may have been let down, mabie were just painted with same brush i was just wondering if it was me or others have had the same experiences "
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So if you believe the issue is distance why do you persist in approaching women miles away from you if they invariably let you down? |
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"The further someone has to travel the less likely they are to turn up has been my experience on here.,
I wouldn’t organise a meet with an unverified guy more than a couple of miles away. 99% of the time it would be a waste of time."
Not too far at all. Just sayingn |
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Because it always ends up mattering. Sure for the first few times you will do that 400 mile round trip but soon it becomes a factor and the meets stop. This doesn't happen with local people so it's not a me thing but a distance thing. I live with family so I can't accommodate so then add the expense of a hotel.
I go by the golden rule of the less barriers to entry that there are, the more chance there is of it lasting. I still see a guy 2 years later. Distance makes it a short lived thing which isn't for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone said to me in the first message. “Hey, you’re 5 mins away! …. Can I see your face and see if I fancy you…” that sounds as shallow as it can get for me.
I’ve met someone stupidly local to me for a drink but that’s only because of a funny circumstance. I wouldn’t search local just for a shag. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"100% lad I agree
I've had some brilliant conversations with women far away and soon as its going well and mention a social it like your shot down because the distance is alot. I understand that they may have been let down, mabie were just painted with same brush i was just wondering if it was me or others have had the same experiences
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So if you believe the issue is distance why do you persist in approaching women miles away from you if they invariably let you down?"
I'm don't mind were there from everyone get let down I know it's a common thing and I am old fashioned I'd pay for the hotel make the effort to travel I'd also accommodate after a social first |
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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago
Wombwell, Barnsley |
In my experience distance does make meeting regularly difficult, so might put some people off. On the flip side if you're just after casual hook ups is it worth travelling 100s of miles?
Some say it's worth travelling for quality, to paraphrase, but how do you know that till you've met?
I don't usually meet people from distance anymore as it tends to fizzle out quite quickly due to distance, inability to meet regularly no matter what the best intentions by both parties might be. Occasionally it might work for a time, but more often than not it doesn't. That's just my take on it. People will have different experiences. |
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"100% lad I agree
I've had some brilliant conversations with women far away and soon as its going well and mention a social it like your shot down because the distance is alot. I understand that they may have been let down, mabie were just painted with same brush i was just wondering if it was me or others have had the same experiences
............................
So if you believe the issue is distance why do you persist in approaching women miles away from you if they invariably let you down?
I'm don't mind were there from everyone get let down I know it's a common thing and I am old fashioned I'd pay for the hotel make the effort to travel I'd also accommodate after a social first "
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You're missing my point. You say you're being let down by people who live miles away from you, so maybe you need to adapt your strategy rather than keep pushing against a locked door.
It might make no difference but at least you can rule that factor in or out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not gonna lie I think being poly is a factor here because you can have wonderful connections with people that you see one or two times a month or even less than that because they’re hundreds of miles away and it’s enough because they don’t have to be your go to, main ting, everything etc.
connections are beautiful. And there’s nothing wrong with many of them. And there’s nothing wrong with making them with people you never would have expected to! I respect people’s opinions on it but i don’t think it’s absurd to be willing to travel to meet someone you like.  "
**** |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I wouldn't meet someone who was miles away,even if they wanted to travel.
I only meet socially first & I always think they'd expect more than a drink & a chat if they'd travelled a good while.
Many won't want to meet those just passing through their town ,I get lots of messages saying "I'm in a hotel in x" on the day they arrive & it's just never gonna happen. |
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"surely you see the same names around your area 1 or 2 might catch your eye but I see women from other areas i get talking to them but then soon as they ask were you from bang that's it tok far thqts why I was mentioning about travelling I travel hundreds of miles a week for work that's for money I'd happily travel for a woman that catches my eye and is just as naughty as I am mabie it's just my area that's shit
.............................
But those women you're attracted to can probably find men they're attracted to locally, so why would they take a risk on someone who needs to travel or is passing through?
so getting let down locally it's n different the conversations could be brilliant at home and let down what a hour or 2 drive it's nothing really if you're interested in someone
Plenty of women are choosy and will wait and do see guys hundreds even thousands of miles away , 90% of the women I know here are not local by any means.
Others will settle for what they can find locally too. "
I think the ideal can be a combination of both. If you’re poly - or - as in my case (and hundreds of others I imagine) looking for a handful of really good friends you can see regularly/semi regularly - having a couple of local, more accessible friends along with one or two long distance friends can work really well.
I currently have a friend less than 5 miles away, one around 40 miles away, a potential friend around a hundred miles away - and one 250 miles away that I can’t see often but have an amazing time with when I do.
That’s the beauty of consensual non monogamy - when you don’t have to put all your eggs into one basket, distance is far less of an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess it depends what you are looking for as it has been mentioned.
But I do understand why ppl do not want to get involved in any chin wag with someone that is far away. "
Sometimes I surprised myself when I write serious answer ! |
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"I know we out number women to men on here I've travelled all my life working but I always turn up when I've arranged plans it was just recently 15 20 miles from my home is too far these days which isn't local
I have a current interest in someone 200+ miles away, outside my age perimeters... On paper it's a hell no... In reality, I'm curious potentially "
Ooh you tease ! Now everyone wants to.know who ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was always anti distance but after having a spectacular meet with someone 150 miles away, I’m a convert! While we’ll likely not to get meet as often as I’d like, it was so good that I think I’m okay with that |
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"100% lad I agree
I've had some brilliant conversations with women far away and soon as its going well and mention a social it like your shot down because the distance is alot. I understand that they may have been let down, mabie were just painted with same brush i was just wondering if it was me or others have had the same experiences "
Your not alone. I used to dance all over the south (that means from the midlands down wards ) so I agree. Travel isn't the issue. Fantasists is the issue. Distance is a great excuse to bottle out. |
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"surely you see the same names around your area 1 or 2 might catch your eye but I see women from other areas i get talking to them but then soon as they ask were you from bang that's it tok far thqts why I was mentioning about travelling I travel hundreds of miles a week for work that's for money I'd happily travel for a woman that catches my eye and is just as naughty as I am mabie it's just my area that's shit
.............................
But those women you're attracted to can probably find men they're attracted to locally, so why would they take a risk on someone who needs to travel or is passing through?
so getting let down locally it's n different the conversations could be brilliant at home and let down what a hour or 2 drive it's nothing really if you're interested in someone
Plenty of women are choosy and will wait and do see guys hundreds even thousands of miles away , 90% of the women I know here are not local by any means.
Others will settle for what they can find locally too.
I think the ideal can be a combination of both. If you’re poly - or - as in my case (and hundreds of others I imagine) looking for a handful of really good friends you can see regularly/semi regularly - having a couple of local, more accessible friends along with one or two long distance friends can work really well.
I currently have a friend less than 5 miles away, one around 40 miles away, a potential friend around a hundred miles away - and one 250 miles away that I can’t see often but have an amazing time with when I do.
That’s the beauty of consensual non monogamy - when you don’t have to put all your eggs into one basket, distance is far less of an issue. "
Sounds like you're just missing one say 50 or 60 miles away! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We insist on a social and get men all the time insisting they’ll drive 100 miles plus just for that.
Sure ya will.
Half the time some twat living just round the corner will stand you up. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"We don't meet non-locals because it sets unreasonable expectations if they've travelled for hours to get here. Also, there's plenty of local options without that hassle. "
I get that , but expectations should be very clear regardless of how far any one is travelling, it’s only an issue if there’s lack of communication skills on one or both parts.
Generally I prefer people that do have to travel to me or me to them, local can end up becoming to frequent & claustrophobic. it’s far too easy to bootycall a local FB/FWB and if they are good you’ll end up missing gym , reading books etc and just have sex all the time |
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I don't meet people who aren't local because if they turned up and they weren't for me I wouldn't want to have wasted their time/money. Even if they were OK with it I would feel bad.
Also had a few people who said they were travelling to my area soon for work or whatever, but then it turned out they were full of shit and were just wanting pictures, etc. Got the exact same message from them months later. So I'm sceptical of people who say that now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Travelling is actually a problem. It’s time consuming when I have sh… Stuff to do. And fuel and travel is expensive.
But to say I would ignore all that and put that down to something I can cover says a lot about how much I want to give my spare time with someone.
And of someone (I knew and not just a new random person popping into my life) said they’d do the same for me, I’d be bloody flattered. |
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I get that , but expectations should be very clear regardless of how far any one is travelling, it’s only an issue if there’s lack of communication skills on one or both parts.
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The issue is, you're saying this as a presumably normal and sane guy. That logic fails when you consider the number of people who aren't reasonable, and you may only really find that out when you say "no" to someone face to face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I get that , but expectations should be very clear regardless of how far any one is travelling, it’s only an issue if there’s lack of communication skills on one or both parts.
The issue is, you're saying this as a presumably normal and sane guy. That logic fails when you consider the number of people who aren't reasonable, and you may only really find that out when you say "no" to someone face to face. "
That’s it isn’t it. A lot of trust is needed that when someone say ‘no expectations, they mean it!’. I think this is shy I only try and meet up with people I am familiar with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a lot of pressure if your travelling far also it shows a little bit of desperation if its like 4 or 5 hours of travel"
Oh I don’t know. Sometimes I think If I was desperate I’d message someone local.
Why do people change jobs to ones that are longer to travel? Better money. Better prospects or better workplace? |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Its a lot of pressure if your travelling far also it shows a little bit of desperation if its like 4 or 5 hours of travel
Oh I don’t know. Sometimes I think If I was desperate I’d message someone local.
Why do people change jobs to ones that are longer to travel? Better money. Better prospects or better workplace? "
Agreed. I think it shows the opposite of desperate, for me the right person is what’s important rather than making do with what’s local. Same with work, I could work for many of them them locally if all I needed was a job |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a lot of pressure if your travelling far also it shows a little bit of desperation if its like 4 or 5 hours of travel
Oh I don’t know. Sometimes I think If I was desperate I’d message someone local.
Why do people change jobs to ones that are longer to travel? Better money. Better prospects or better workplace?
Agreed. I think it shows the opposite of desperate, for me the right person is what’s important rather than making do with what’s local. Same with work, I could work for many of them them locally if all I needed was a job"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The further someone has to travel the less likely they are to turn up has been my experience on here.,
I wouldn’t organise a meet with an unverified guy more than a couple of miles away. 99% of the time it would be a waste of time."
agreed |
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