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Tips for heartbreak
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....
But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? |
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"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....
But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "
No massive advice other than to delete and block them on everything (just initially whilst the emotion settles). Try to remove all physical emotional ties, pictures, belongings etc.
spend time with your emotion and lots of self care. Cry, be angry, be resentful, be all of those emotions.
Go for long walks where you can just “be”, spend time alone, spend time with friends. Cope. And sooner or later, you’ll feel a bit better  |
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By *ister CMan
over a year ago
liverpool |
"It takes half the time the relationship lasted to get over them...
In general. wow really? Where’s that stat from?
Possibly true for longer relationships. Intrigued. "
Its a classic psychological theory... based on grief as I recall. There are others too but I found this aligned with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm so sorry OP. Unfortunately you're asking the wrong person here. I had a hellish break up myself during lockdown. Crying every day, hair falling out, wasn't sleeping and not eating either. That went on for four months. How did I get through it? With the love and support from my three closest friends. Please take care of yourself. You'll get through it xx |
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By *humper.Man
over a year ago
northumberland/scotland |
"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....
But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone?
No massive advice other than to delete and block them on everything (just initially whilst the emotion settles). Try to remove all physical emotional ties, pictures, belongings etc.
spend time with your emotion and lots of self care. Cry, be angry, be resentful, be all of those emotions.
Go for long walks where you can just “be”, spend time alone, spend time with friends. Cope. And sooner or later, you’ll feel a bit better "
Great advise! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One day at a time. I'm still single after 3 years due to my last 5 year relationship. I only just feel ready enough to start thinking about another relationship.
It depends on how long you've been with someone and what you went through,everyone is different but you will eventually feel OK with things.
I'd say take time to look after you! Treat yourself & do things you enjoy. I also went through therapy and learnt about red flags & having stronger boundaries so I don't go through another traumatic or toxic relationship. (Not saying you have though). X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....
But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "
I tried to send you a  but I'm out of your age range, so will pop it here
midnight xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I feel a bit of a twat. It was only a couple of months. But he was the first person I trusted for a loooooong time. The first person I let Dom me for an age.
I'm at that awful stage when I just want to message him all the time. I've practically begged. I feel such an idiot.
Definitely need more therapy!
Great advice you lovely lot. Thank you. |
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I’m still hurting - I let my soulmate slip through my fingers because I was stupid. It’s been over 20 years and I’ve never got over him.
Will take someone exceptional to get me over him. Not found that person yet.
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"I feel a bit of a twat. It was only a couple of months. But he was the first person I trusted for a loooooong time. The first person I let Dom me for an age.
I'm at that awful stage when I just want to message him all the time. I've practically begged. I feel such an idiot.
Definitely need more therapy!
Great advice you lovely lot. Thank you. "
Don’t give yourself a hard time for that. We’ve all done it. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is nothing to be ashamed of.
You’ll need a combo of loads of things to feel better. Time with friends, time alone. It’s a balance of feeling the feelings then distracting yourself from them to have a break from it. Both are important.
A relationship of sorts has just ended for me too. It’s awful, so I know how you’re feeling, I’m with you. You’ll get through it though, it’ll just be awful for a while, but you’ll get there x |
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"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....
But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "
No idea mate. Mine's turned into some traumatic grief and I no longer trust people....enter low libido here. nearly 9 years and counting. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Try and work out what you are grieving. Is it the loss of the relationship or the loss of that specific person? Is it the loss of a potential future you imagined?
Mourn that loss and let go of dreams of maybes that will not be.
Pat yourself on the back for getting out there and committing to something and someone. It takes courage to open our hearts. You can do it again.
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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago
Serendipity |
"I feel a bit of a twat. It was only a couple of months. But he was the first person I trusted for a loooooong time. The first person I let Dom me for an age.
I'm at that awful stage when I just want to message him all the time. I've practically begged. I feel such an idiot.
Definitely need more therapy!
Great advice you lovely lot. Thank you. "
I think the fact it was a D/s relationship means you really trusted him. My advice, is to block him on every means of communication, delete his number too. If you need a back up option for now , write it down somewhere , but take it off your phone as it’s too easy & tempting to write a message in the middle of the night. And just take it a day at a time.
Be kind to yourself and try to keep busy if you can.
x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....
But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "
Accept it, go through it, you will get over it. Don’t bury your feelings as they will come back later. No one is worth this shit xxx |
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"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....
But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "
Hold space for yourself, allow your feelings to be felt. Remember they don’t define you. You are the sky and your emotions are the weather passing through. Sometimes it’s glorious sometimes it’s stormy, but it will pass.
Find small things that bring you joy, a flower, dancing to a certain song, spending time with people that fill your soul.
There is not quick fix I’m afraid but know it will pass xx |
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"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....
But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "
Keep busy.. Occupy your body and mind. Try a new thing or two... Sports or book club or am dram or... Reach out to friends and ask for company for a bit.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Time and no contact with them, social media too.
If you want to talk I'm about today.
Feel your feels and cry if you need to. Journal how you feel, this helped me a lot.
In a few weeks times you'll look back and feel so much better. |
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Sorry to hear this, OP.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Do not torture yourself by staying facebook friends, etc.
- Take some time for yourself - but also if you can try to avoid isolating yourself too much.
- Allow yourself to feel whatever you are going through
- Fresh air is always good
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do something that's going to take your mind off it but that's not not gonna leave you with a worse come down after.
Random casual sex can fall into the latter as well as getting shitfaced or even stuffing your face with junkfood for a whole weekend.
Get out and go for coffees or meal with friends. Or just walk in the fresh air. |
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"My advice, is to block him on every means of communication, delete his number too. If you need a back up option for now , write it down somewhere , but take it off your phone as it’s too easy & tempting to write a message in the middle of the night."
I think this is good advice. I deleted all numbers and means of contacting them. However, I also gave their number to my brother and asked him not to give it back until he thought I was ready. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Time, distractions and maybe find someone just to talk to without any connection. Maybe do stuff at home like decorating, take up a new hobby or course. Soon you won’t be thinking about anything other than what you are doing x |
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