 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
How do you deal a rude colleague?
I'm doing a handover with a colleague who has returned from mat leave.
She's mentioned a few times now how she thinks certain things have got 'out of control' since she left.
She also talks over me when I try to suggest something.
It's beginning to grate on me. Nothing is out of control, just different to how she would do something. I want to tell her to fuck off.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Say this “I appreciate your concerns and contributions. If you think anything should be done differently, I would happily make a note of it and talk to the seniors about it.”
This is the professional way of telling someone to fuck off  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago
Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove |
If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing
She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep
Cut her some slack |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just tell her to fuck off been ok without her!"
Exactly! 12 months I've been doing job. If things were so out of control then I'm pretty sure someone would have mentioned something in that time  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing
She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep
Cut her some slack "
So I should allow her behaviour because she's a new mum? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you deal a rude colleague?
I'm doing a handover with a colleague who has returned from mat leave.
She's mentioned a few times now how she thinks certain things have got 'out of control' since she left.
She also talks over me when I try to suggest something.
It's beginning to grate on me. Nothing is out of control, just different to how she would do something. I want to tell her to fuck off.
"
Don't give her the satisfaction of reacting
Just do what you need to do and be quiet
This will grate on her even more than arguing will |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing
She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep
Cut her some slack
So I should allow her behaviour because she's a new mum? "
No, more about her being a returning employee who is likely worried that the cover person is doing a better job than her |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing
She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep
Cut her some slack "
This. 100% |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Be careful how you handle it. Don’t put yourself in the frame for bullying a returning new mum. Seek advice of HR or a senior staff member. Cover your arse at all times. Ensure you never say anything that can come back to bite you and if possible ensure someone else is in the room with you. Record all and any conversations … just in case! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Be careful how you handle it. Don’t put yourself in the frame for bullying a returning new mum. Seek advice of HR or a senior staff member. Cover your arse at all times. Ensure you never say anything that can come back to bite you and if possible ensure someone else is in the room with you. Record all and any conversations … just in case! "
I mean take notes of conversations. It is illegal to record conversations without declaring you are doing so |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing
She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep
Cut her some slack
This. 100% "
You think I should tolerate her put downs rather than stand up for myself?
I don't see it as an excuse shotty behaviour. She can prove herself through her work not by taking digs at me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Be careful how you handle it. Don’t put yourself in the frame for bullying a returning new mum. Seek advice of HR or a senior staff member. Cover your arse at all times. Ensure you never say anything that can come back to bite you and if possible ensure someone else is in the room with you. Record all and any conversations … just in case! "
I'm leaving I'm 3 weeks. I'll just avoid spending much time alone with her. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Be careful how you handle it. Don’t put yourself in the frame for bullying a returning new mum. Seek advice of HR or a senior staff member. Cover your arse at all times. Ensure you never say anything that can come back to bite you and if possible ensure someone else is in the room with you. Record all and any conversations … just in case!
I'm leaving I'm 3 weeks. I'll just avoid spending much time alone with her. "
If you're going anyway ..wait till the last day and put her straight in no uncertain terms  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago
Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove |
"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing
She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep
Cut her some slack
…
So I should allow her behaviour because she's a new mum? "
…
Judging by your posts iMoshe isn’t the only person with attitude.
If you don’t like a quality that someone else has then ask yourself whether you demonstrate the same thing yourself! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing
She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep
Cut her some slack
So I should allow her behaviour because she's a new mum? "
No. Cut her some slack because change is not easy for anyone and everyone. How long has she been back? Over the last 8 years I've had a constant rotation of colleagues and managers in my workplace It's a mind fuck trying to mesh with them.....You get used to doing things one way and then along comes someone else who changes everything. My neurodivergent brain hates it. My preference is to give them 6-12 weeks to settle down as my personal probation. After that, if it's still bothering me, then I have a chat with the person and line management. Personally, I struggle to talk to people so I do tend to put things in an email a lot. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do you deal a rude colleague?
I'm doing a handover with a colleague who has returned from mat leave.
She's mentioned a few times now how she thinks certain things have got 'out of control' since she left.
She also talks over me when I try to suggest something.
It's beginning to grate on me. Nothing is out of control, just different to how she would do something. I want to tell her to fuck off.
"
You should have asked her at the time and politely what she thought had gotten out of control and why.
When you are speaking and not listened to, just say ..... politely, 'I haven't quite finished what I was saying. Then continue to talk ....
Seems you do not mind your boundaries being broken.
Mind you she could have been joking....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Be careful how you handle it. Don’t put yourself in the frame for bullying a returning new mum. Seek advice of HR or a senior staff member. Cover your arse at all times. Ensure you never say anything that can come back to bite you and if possible ensure someone else is in the room with you. Record all and any conversations … just in case!
I'm leaving I'm 3 weeks. I'll just avoid spending much time alone with her. "
Ooop Problem solved. avoid her and leave on good terms...need the references. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing
She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep
Cut her some slack
This. 100%
You think I should tolerate her put downs rather than stand up for myself?
I don't see it as an excuse shotty behaviour. She can prove herself through her work not by taking digs at me. "
No you absolutely should not accept that kind of behaviour.
First thing i would do is document all interactions you have with her where her behaviour is poor.
Then assuming it continues, i would actually call her aside into a room and let her know some of the comments she has been making have left you feeling uncomfortable and if she has an issue with your work perhaps she could address it with you directly and privately.
Watch her stutter over her words then and be nice as pie to you then.
These people cant handle being confronted in a calm, polite, direct manner |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do you deal a rude colleague?
I'm doing a handover with a colleague who has returned from mat leave.
She's mentioned a few times now how she thinks certain things have got 'out of control' since she left.
She also talks over me when I try to suggest something.
It's beginning to grate on me. Nothing is out of control, just different to how she would do something. I want to tell her to fuck off.
"
i take it "mat leave" you mean "maternity leave" maybe she is feeling a bit vulnerable and maybe suffering from "post natal problems give her time to re-adjust to life in the big girl world again,,, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just do what your boss has asked you to do.
Hopefully you have a job to go to. Focus on that. "
Bad behaviour should never be tolerated in the workplace though, if continuous.
She either addresses it herself directly with the woman in question or goes to her superior. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
I've worked in political offices and slinging mud once people left (I was badly trained/this wasn't explained etc), no matter how good they were was often used when people were just not that capable. It sort of gets that team rallying around helping them.
I'd leave it until a week before and give management a brief appraisal - they'll know things have been running smoothly so will be aware if there's need for extra coaching. No harm mentioning it to a colleague or two either if her attitude is that poor. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
