FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you wonder if you just disappeared
Do you wonder if you just disappeared
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The people who normally get noticed when they leave are either very regular forum posters or people that announce their leaving or start a thread and then leave because then it becomes obvious. |
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It would depend. No longer than 12 hours probably far fewer. I speak to my dad, our daughter and a couple of friends daily so they'd be alerted if I didn't respond. Then of course there's Mr N. He'd notice quite quickly. |
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"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them?"
If you're feeling that way maybe you should stop doing the stuff you're doing. People often only notice and appreciate what a person does when they stop doing it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most people only chase you when they notice you've stopped chasing them or they need something. Relationships where effort is equal are rare to say the least. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The people who normally get noticed when they leave are either very regular forum posters or people that announce their leaving or start a thread and then leave because then it becomes obvious. "
Not fab related I'm on about life in general |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them?
If you're feeling that way maybe you should stop doing the stuff you're doing. People often only notice and appreciate what a person does when they stop doing it. "
Have stopped and noone has noticed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh do you mean on here? Thought you meant in real life. "
Oh yeah so did I...
On here yeah I think some pals would notice I'd gone. Whenever I take a break and hide my profile I usually get a couple of "everything OK?" messages. |
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"Most people only chase you when they notice you've stopped chasing them or they need something. Relationships where effort is equal are rare to say the least."
I don't have a wide circle of friends for exactly that reason. |
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"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them?
If you're feeling that way maybe you should stop doing the stuff you're doing. People often only notice and appreciate what a person does when they stop doing it.
Have stopped and noone has noticed "
Ok you're relieved of that responsibility then . Is it family, friends or both? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them?
If you're feeling that way maybe you should stop doing the stuff you're doing. People often only notice and appreciate what a person does when they stop doing it.
Have stopped and noone has noticed
Ok you're relieved of that responsibility then . Is it family, friends or both?"
Both |
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"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them?
If you're feeling that way maybe you should stop doing the stuff you're doing. People often only notice and appreciate what a person does when they stop doing it.
Have stopped and noone has noticed
Ok you're relieved of that responsibility then . Is it family, friends or both?
Both"
Sorry you feel that way. Do they know? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them?
If you're feeling that way maybe you should stop doing the stuff you're doing. People often only notice and appreciate what a person does when they stop doing it.
Have stopped and noone has noticed
Ok you're relieved of that responsibility then . Is it family, friends or both?
Both
Sorry you feel that way. Do they know?"
Nope doubt it |
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"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them?
If you're feeling that way maybe you should stop doing the stuff you're doing. People often only notice and appreciate what a person does when they stop doing it.
Have stopped and noone has noticed
Ok you're relieved of that responsibility then . Is it family, friends or both?
Both
Sorry you feel that way. Do they know?
Nope doubt it "
I see, well good luck to you. You sound a bit down I hope your mood lifts |
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Really sorry OP hearing you feeling that way and for you been having that thoughts... i do know how it feels feeling that way ... i would say just let it go . I know is not easy but sometimes is best because it hurts feeling that way! Sending hugs   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The people who normally get noticed when they leave are either very regular forum posters or people that announce their leaving or start a thread and then leave because then it becomes obvious.
Not fab related I'm on about life in general "
Oh I see. Sorry I misunderstood.
I think my husband might notice if I suddenly disappeared.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them?
If you're feeling that way maybe you should stop doing the stuff you're doing. People often only notice and appreciate what a person does when they stop doing it.
Have stopped and noone has noticed
Ok you're relieved of that responsibility then . Is it family, friends or both?
Both
Sorry you feel that way. Do they know?
Nope doubt it "
I hope you're okay! I'm about today if you want to chat xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry you're feeling like that, OP. Right now it may seem like people only bother with you when they want something, but I bet if you did disappear they'd be worried sick. I had a mental health crisis a few years ago and did something similar, just disappeared hoping nobody would notice, my warped thinking not allowing me to understand the impact it would have on my loved-ones. They definitely noticed. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I'd miss you and you know I've often contacted you when you have taken breaks from here as well.
People would definitely miss you and very quickly.It is easy to think they won't at times, especially when things are tough and hard in real life.I know I have felt similar feelings at times but the couple of close true friends and close family members would notice and very quickly as well and I know they care.And you have those people in your life as well DD. Don't ever forget that. Xx |
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'missing you already, Devine xx'
Seriously for a man here 'awl' might go unnoticed for a while. But as for Devine her inbox would be bulging within hours.
As for real life....family, friends, neighbors, bills etc would conspire to track you down fairly quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Away from Fab it would be noticed very quickly, thank goodness on Fab, very few would notice but that’s ok as I love taking it up in the ass ! "
I knew it |
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"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?
Over the last while I've just thought pack a bag and go as noone would notice until they actually need something or want you to do something for them?"
I think it would be days before anyone noticed I was missing - from here and in the outside world, and I suspect it would be work that raised the flag before any family or friends did. I seem to be one of those people that no one ever thinks about, or at least if they do they never show me that. I may be doing many people a huge disservice in saying that, but compared to many people I know who always seem to be in constant contact with friends and family I have a very different experience. |
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"Thank you all and _ustbo xx
I'm up and dressed going to get a coffee by the ocean and breathe xx"
I woust to pass sometimes hours and hours near the ocean listening the sound of waves and admiring the infinite , always imagining the life under the ocean completely forgetting the world surround me , it was the most liberating feeling i woust to experience. At the coming of Autumn i woust to scream knowing no one could hear me and even crying with my face up without worrying that someone could feel sorry watching me , it was my refugee and therapy place and the place i could breathe all my emotions.
Op sometimes we just need that time space to be alone and do feel alone to help us to pass through dificult times |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Op, I hope you're feeling better soon.
Sometimes I do feel like that. Very rarely nowadays, I think that there are a few people who would notice if I disappeared. Hope so anyway. Maybe daft optimism. |
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"Would people notice? How long would it take for someone to call on you?"
Sometimes, yes. But friendships are hard work to maintain. I’m in quite a good place just now but it does take constant effort.
Hope you’re doing ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a lot written about passing in to this world alone and passing out the same way, about alone not necessarily meaning lonely, and conversely how the loneliest place can be at the centre of a crowd.
We surround ourselves with people and pets and keep occupied but ultimately we walk our own path as a single unit.
It's not a bad thing just reality. So it's important to be content within our own selves and not be reliant on finding our happiness in others as that can lead to them taking it away. Obviously others add elements to the big picture, but we need to be at peace in the centre of ourselves.
Also, we can present ourselves as (and people can see us as) a very self-contained person who doesn't 'need' anyone or thing and they will therefore place you a little lower on their to-do list of people & things, but not through any malice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you all and _ustbo xx
I'm up and dressed going to get a coffee by the ocean and breathe xx"
Sounds lovely and I hope you makes you feel a little better. X |
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Spent the first 4 decades of my life believing I was invisible except when I was needed for something.
When I realised I had the option to ignore everyone else's needs that's when I also accepted I had value and as others have already said, I became visible as soon as I stopped conforming and doing what was expected.
You would be missed on here DD.
Friday's wouldn't be frisky for a start |
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In my late teens early 20s I did this very thing. I yeses to go out most weekends and was one of the lads but I felt if I didn’t go out would I be missed. So I stopped going out and the intervals between my nights out got longer and longer to the point where it could have been years between outings.
Trust me it’s you that will suffer. You might feel that they are taking you for granted and only cal on you when they need something but that’s not a bad thing. Just means your loyal, reliable and are there to help friends and family. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now, it would be a few hours, I share a house. 20 years ago if the people I knew hadn't seen me for a couple of weeks they wouldn't think anything, if it went on for a month they would wonder but after a while not give a crap. Only reason I haven't gone now is it would leave people in the shit. |
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