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By *ike 1978 OP Man
over a year ago
kettering / Enfield |
Ok so me and my wife had that talk this week in which she said she loves me but isn't in love with me and wants to end relationship. Now because if Christmas, kids and money I can't move out till feb which is going to be fun. The problem is I am getting older, not the best looking and generally skint so am getting really worried that I may never find anyone again. Just don't know what to do anymore. Sorry for going on a bit just have not been able to talk to anyone |
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By *ike 1978 OP Man
over a year ago
kettering / Enfield |
"your only 34 and far from 'over the hill'
i think you possibly fell out of love with her also if you were on here. "
We are both on here her more so to be honest I know in theory 34 is not acient but feel like it. We have been together 8 years and my whole life has revolved around her and our kids |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"your only 34 and far from 'over the hill'
i think you possibly fell out of love with her also if you were on here.
We are both on here her more so to be honest I know in theory 34 is not acient but feel like it. We have been together 8 years and my whole life has revolved around her and our kids"
sorry from your profile it sounded more like a fuck buddy when you referred to a partner that you could occasionally meet up with rather than your wife.
still splitting up with a loved one over crimbo cant be nice, so good luck with everything. Chin up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"your only 34 and far from 'over the hill'
i think you possibly fell out of love with her also if you were on here.
We are both on here her more so to be honest I know in theory 34 is not acient but feel like it. We have been together 8 years and my whole life has revolved around her and our kids
sorry from your profile it sounded more like a fuck buddy when you referred to a partner that you could occasionally meet up with rather than your wife.
still splitting up with a loved one over crimbo cant be nice, so good luck with everything. Chin up "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.”
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you suggested going to Relate?
I must say it is very hard to advise on marriage difficulties when we don't know the root problem/s.
Which for your wife could well be different to what you think it is.
I would like to also say that being on here as a single man, is not a good sign for a previously happily married couple eg the cracks must have already been there for both of you to have your own profiles and act independently.
I know it is very hard for you but imo no one should ever stay together for the sake of children it will only make their life a misery and be noticeable for them.
Unhappy parents with their life or circumstances will reflect in your child's happiness so take comfort in the fact going forward I believe your children will get the best out of both parents if they are happier apart.
Finally good luck and don't dwell, live is for living and being happy, not for regret.
You can't make anyone love you but be assured at 34 you have many years to find the love of your life. |
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By *ike 1978 OP Man
over a year ago
kettering / Enfield |
"feel for you mate;getting someone
else is least of your worries
place to live and money first;
can you not kick the can down the road
and get xmas over 1st
just for the kids "
That's the plan I know how hard it is going to be for them so going to be putting on a brave face for next few months then try and find somewhere end of feb |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are never too old to find someone to share your life with. I'm 51 and have met the most wonderful woman and have a bright future to look forward to. Be positive and good things will happen.
Fusion |
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By *ike 1978 OP Man
over a year ago
kettering / Enfield |
She never looks in forums too busy going through her messages cheers for the support though it is going to be hard and yes am not looking forward to being alone but don't really have much choice lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"feel for you mate;getting someone
else is least of your worries
place to live and money first;
can you not kick the can down the road
and get xmas over 1st
just for the kids
That's the plan I know how hard it is going to be for them so going to be putting on a brave face for next few months then try and find somewhere end of feb "
Children are extremely resilient and will bounce back, they will feel the tension and so be better off.
Just remember to keep being there for them and sort out seeing them regularly.
Again not knowing your circumstances I can't advise in housing as not sure if you are a home owner or council or renting?
Financial implications will need to be addressed first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is a very stressful and worrying time. Take little steps to get through thsi, as looking at the whole picture and all that a break up entails can feel all consuming.
I hope it all works out for you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.”
"
No truer word spoken. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now speaking from experience I would rather my ex had left before xmas not after. He said he stayed because he did not want to ruin xmas. Well as far as I am concerned he ruined it anyway because when he up and left suddenly 8 days after xmas it made our last christmas as a family a complete farce.
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Im sure a lot of people will try to give you advice.
As others have said is there no way you can try a marriage councellor in the hopes that you maybe able heal the marriage.
Christmas is always a fraught time for family life.
See if you can find some common ground between you as you still have children to consider regardless of their ages.
If there is no chance of sorting this then all you can do is to make sure your both good parents and try to find some reasonable ground between both of you in relation to them.
I do hope you both manage to sort things out.
Good luck to both of you. |
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By *ike 1978 OP Man
over a year ago
kettering / Enfield |
Did suggest counciling but she is not interested so think we truly are finished. Sorry for going all depressive on everyone I know as a swingers site it is meant to be about fun chat not this sort of thing lol just had to vent a bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex husband ended our marriage at Christmas and have hated this time of year ever since.
As fusion said before we met on here and my life has changed. I am 41 now and he is 51, I never expected to meet a man that I would trust to form a life with them and then I met fusion.
I wanted to do relate etc but the ex didnt want to as the marriage was over (he had decided this) and money wasnt there for relate etc. My life ended for about 7 years.
Fab and swinging gave me a new more fun life but was never happy until I met fusion.
I had 2 young children (his are adult) and money problems and also anti relationship but we still fell in love. So please dont feel that its all over as it isnt. I know, I have been there and fell into depression very quickly.
Your life isnt over. It may just be in a period of adjustment.
My ex lived in the house with me for 6 months til he got money to move out, it killed me almost but 7 years on all is fine now.
Take the time to take small baby steps and your life will continue
Fruit x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im 41 and ugly as hell.
spend most of my time between work and the gym because no one wants me.
training puts out the fire.
work kills the passion.
welcome to my world! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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what ever you decide, think of your kids , get on a housing list, i cant speak from experience as i have been with my wife 23 years and no kids.
good luck with whatever you do |
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I honestly don't think you are sad about the break up.
You haven't mentioned her once.
All you mention is that you are worried you can't get the next one in.
People don't even replace dogs that quickly.
Heartbreak my ass.
P.S. Hope you get back together and live happily ever after. |
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What about taking some time out from here, both of you?
You need to explore your feelings about her, splitting up etc and I think that being on here will only confuse and muddy the waters more.
For the record, you are not ugly and you are a nice gy doe when ten time comes you will find someone else. Perhaps now is bot the right time to worry about the next partner. You have more immediate things to sort out. |
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Hi Hun here s what I think you keep the kids an the house an tell her to move out you sound a nice guy so don't worry I'm sure you ll find someone new anyway so don't be too worried things sod her ha ha jessx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ending a relationship is never easy, heart felt hugs for you. Take your time, as others hsvr said baby steps. Dont rush. Hope all comes good for you in the end xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So your 34 an over the hill!........
Mate I'm 49 an having the time of my life, you could quiet easily top 100 !
So you guner sit round for the next 66 yrs playing bingo ( no offense to any bingo players before ya start lol ) .
Sorry your relationship has broken down but come on your still young , lots of fun to be had yet! |
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"Ok so me and my wife had that talk this week in which she said she loves me but isn't in love with me and wants to end relationship. Now because if Christmas, kids and money I can't move out till feb which is going to be fun. The problem is I am getting older, not the best looking and generally skint so am getting really worried that I may never find anyone again. Just don't know what to do anymore. Sorry for going on a bit just have not been able to talk to anyone"
Chin up, chest out shoulders back, and stand proud!
I know exactly how you feel as I went through the same thing a few months back. Still getting everything sorted with the house etc, and suppose am lucky there were no kids. Feel for you, but where there's life there's hope. You are still young (I am 9 years older) and as long as you keep plodding on, you will get through it.
If you need someone to talk to who knows what you are going through, feel free to pm me.
If not, no probs, but remember that there are lots of people on here who can offer you help and advice.
Good luck and stay positive, even though it may seem impossible - eventually you'll be positive without trying. Then you will know you are moving on.
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