FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Messages to meet for miles away?
Messages to meet for miles away?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Assume the topic has been absolutely done to death before... But just why? I mean I get they 'may' be in the area, I get they just really fancy your profile, I get they just figure they're horny/you look hot?... But yet again for the billion & one time... Why?!  |
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"Assume the topic has been absolutely done to death before... But just why? I mean I get they 'may' be in the area, I get they just really fancy your profile, I get they just figure they're horny/you look hot?... But yet again for the billion & one time... Why?! "
Totally agree. Just why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It does seem pointless at times, when the distance is explained, they often say .... Well, if you're ever in the area.
Although, we do visit Manchester and Southampton and so sometimes makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because if you get that connection nothing can beat it ! And as I always say what’s for you don’t go by you . Have friends that will fly up
To me and me then spend the weekend and holidays together etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It does seem pointless at times, when the distance is explained, they often say .... Well, if you're ever in the area.
Although, we do visit Manchester and Southampton and so sometimes makes sense. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because if you get that connection nothing can beat it ! And as I always say what’s for you don’t go by you . Have friends that will fly up
To me and me then spend the weekend and holidays together etc "
Absolutely. Of course distance can make things a little bit more tricky but not impossible. I was messaging a man about 4 years ago who lived over 115 miles away. Four years on we now live together and are married so distance does not have to be an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because if you get that connection nothing can beat it ! And as I always say what’s for you don’t go by you . Have friends that will fly up
To me and me then spend the weekend and holidays together etc
Absolutely. Of course distance can make things a little bit more tricky but not impossible. I was messaging a man about 4 years ago who lived over 115 miles away. Four years on we now live together and are married so distance does not have to be an issue. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every guy I've met/plan to meet in the future lives over a 100miles away. Some a hell of a lot more!
I don't for for convenience, I go for someone I actually like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assume the topic has been absolutely done to death before... But just why? I mean I get they 'may' be in the area, I get they just really fancy your profile, I get they just figure they're horny/you look hot?... But yet again for the billion & one time... Why?! "
I get it a lot, I like my guys to be in a 50 mile radius, which it says on my profile, but I still get messages from guys hundreds of miles away, when I say sorry to far, most will say, I can drive, but as I always have a social first I tell them it's a long way for coffee, a few hadn't looked at the distance and they apologise, sadly some guys are still to persistent, |
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How many threads have there been asking how far people are willing to travel?
Some don't have an issue with distance and are happy to travel 2 or 3 hours each way.
How many threads have there been where women have bemoaned the number of "I'm in your area" messages they receive and yet my local updates are full of women and couples claiming to be staying in a particular area and looking for guys who can accommodate?
It's horses for courses. A lot of the messages I get from couples are "meet us now" "we're in your area" and that's why I don't have my actual location on here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not?. If you don't ask you don't get.
True! But if someone is 300 miles away it's highly unlikely? "
Highly probable if you both liked each other enough to try and make it work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many people have responsibilities they can't drop to meet someone 300 miles away regularly. It's just impractical, regardless of how much I might like someone - I can't do it. I'd have thought that most people here want to meet in person? That's why they're here, not for pen pals. |
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"It does seem pointless at times, when the distance is explained, they often say .... Well, if you're ever in the area.
Although, we do visit Manchester and Southampton and so sometimes makes sense. "
Southampton is definitely the place to be   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many people have responsibilities they can't drop to meet someone 300 miles away regularly. It's just impractical, regardless of how much I might like someone - I can't do it. I'd have thought that most people here want to meet in person? That's why they're here, not for pen pals. "
Everyone has different circumstances, and I get it. But I can’t make myself want to meet subject a who is easy to meet up with because they live close.
Subject b (or c d e f g h i etc) may live miles away, but that just means to meet up with them I’d have to set off earlier, or make an extra effort so to speak. And I’d make a bloody effort for quite a few people on here I find fascinating. And I don’t think I’d actually travel or put in that amount of effort to think it was for just a one off. I’m more likely to take an offer of convenience for that. |
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Not so much these days because I'm outside your age criteria of most people on here, which isn't a problem to me, but years ago people would get in contact from further afield, and I would accommodate them over a weekend. I struck up a few good friendships through offering hospitality, and introductions to local friends of mine. There's a lot to do around here as well as having erotic encounters, and the place is well worth a visit with something for everyone. It was also reciprocated, and I enjoyed some great times as a result. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many people have responsibilities they can't drop to meet someone 300 miles away regularly. It's just impractical, regardless of how much I might like someone - I can't do it. I'd have thought that most people here want to meet in person? That's why they're here, not for pen pals. "
Depends what you call regular.
Every 3-4 months is enough for me!
So yeah, distance doesn't really matter for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many people have responsibilities they can't drop to meet someone 300 miles away regularly. It's just impractical, regardless of how much I might like someone - I can't do it. I'd have thought that most people here want to meet in person? That's why they're here, not for pen pals.
Depends what you call regular.
Every 3-4 months is enough for me!
So yeah, distance doesn't really matter for me."
How is your 2023 diary looking? |
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I get the distance doesn’t matter thing, but I’ve always found it weird. Unless you live really remotely, how many people live within 20 miles of you?
For me, there must be millions of people within 20 miles of me. If I can’t find someone in those millions, I’ve got bigger issues at hand.
If I had to travel 300 miles, past 10s of millions of other people, to find someone worth meeting… I dunno what that says about me |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
We have met people living miles away, Scotland, Devon and Essex for example and we are based in Cheshire but we used to go to different parts of the country with a sport so sometimes it’s worth a try  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"….
If I had to travel 300 miles, past 10s of millions of other people, to find someone worth meeting… I dunno what that says about me "
Your not fussed about the price of fuel?….it’s expensive you know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all seriousness, being poly means that I’d be willing to travel fairly often to see someone if we got on and I liked them. But, I suppose there’s a limit to that. And it depends on what people want. For some, distance isn’t an issue, for others it’s the world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had this yesterday, a man from Glasgow (I,'m in Somerset)
This was just from them looking at my profile. Not from us chatting.
After explaining the distance issue, they still kept asking to meet.
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"I had this yesterday, a man from Glasgow (I,'m in Somerset)
This was just from them looking at my profile. Not from us chatting.
After explaining the distance issue, they still kept asking to meet.
"
was he a proclaimer? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get the distance doesn’t matter thing, but I’ve always found it weird. Unless you live really remotely, how many people live within 20 miles of you?
For me, there must be millions of people within 20 miles of me. If I can’t find someone in those millions, I’ve got bigger issues at hand.
If I had to travel 300 miles, past 10s of millions of other people, to find someone worth meeting… I dunno what that says about me "
Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people near by. Unfortunately you don't actually get to talk to them all, and let's face it the majority that are on fab are just plain weird.
I'd say it says you're particular and won't settle just because someone is near by.
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"I get the distance doesn’t matter thing, but I’ve always found it weird. Unless you live really remotely, how many people live within 20 miles of you?
For me, there must be millions of people within 20 miles of me. If I can’t find someone in those millions, I’ve got bigger issues at hand.
If I had to travel 300 miles, past 10s of millions of other people, to find someone worth meeting… I dunno what that says about me
Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people near by. Unfortunately you don't actually get to talk to them all, and let's face it the majority that are on fab are just plain weird.
I'd say it says you're particular and won't settle just because someone is near by.
"
Suppose it’s completely different for guys, I find for the most part, very few women are weird or creepy or seems dangerous, so I don’t feel the need to travel so far when there are literally 1000s of very normal, good looking women on my doorstep. For example after 100s of dates I can only think of 1 or 2 women where I felt weirded out, where as most women I speak to it’s every other guy that puts them on edge.
Guess that’s just another privilege of being a guy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've connected with ladies via the forums before, had chats with them via PM or KIK etc. I live way up in Scotland but travelled to London for work and had the opportunity to meet up with someone. I had also arranged to meet up with another but things got in the way. There's also another lass on here who I'd like to think, if I'm ever travelling her way, we would definitely meet up.
The forums are a great place to show who you are and connect with various people. The issue is that they tend to be 200+ miles away. Good excuse for a weekend away on the train if you really like someone and have a connection with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get the distance doesn’t matter thing, but I’ve always found it weird. Unless you live really remotely, how many people live within 20 miles of you?
For me, there must be millions of people within 20 miles of me. If I can’t find someone in those millions, I’ve got bigger issues at hand.
If I had to travel 300 miles, past 10s of millions of other people, to find someone worth meeting… I dunno what that says about me
Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people near by. Unfortunately you don't actually get to talk to them all, and let's face it the majority that are on fab are just plain weird.
I'd say it says you're particular and won't settle just because someone is near by.
Suppose it’s completely different for guys, I find for the most part, very few women are weird or creepy or seems dangerous, so I don’t feel the need to travel so far when there are literally 1000s of very normal, good looking women on my doorstep. For example after 100s of dates I can only think of 1 or 2 women where I felt weirded out, where as most women I speak to it’s every other guy that puts them on edge.
Guess that’s just another privilege of being a guy "
Are we talking about male privilege! I’m in!!  |
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"I get the distance doesn’t matter thing, but I’ve always found it weird. Unless you live really remotely, how many people live within 20 miles of you?
For me, there must be millions of people within 20 miles of me. If I can’t find someone in those millions, I’ve got bigger issues at hand.
If I had to travel 300 miles, past 10s of millions of other people, to find someone worth meeting… I dunno what that says about me
Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people near by. Unfortunately you don't actually get to talk to them all, and let's face it the majority that are on fab are just plain weird.
I'd say it says you're particular and won't settle just because someone is near by.
Suppose it’s completely different for guys, I find for the most part, very few women are weird or creepy or seems dangerous, so I don’t feel the need to travel so far when there are literally 1000s of very normal, good looking women on my doorstep. For example after 100s of dates I can only think of 1 or 2 women where I felt weirded out, where as most women I speak to it’s every other guy that puts them on edge.
Guess that’s just another privilege of being a guy
Are we talking about male privilege! I’m in!! "
If you attended the meetings you’d be clued up on this.
Every Tuesday at the snooker club lads. No girls allowed |
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If I was one of them people that meet every week then yes, local makes more sense.
But I'd rather meet with people I really want to. The forums bring people from together from all over. Might not be tomorrow, but paths will cross. |
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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago
Norfolk East anglia |
"I've connected with ladies via the forums before, had chats with them via PM or KIK etc. I live way up in Scotland but travelled to London for work and had the opportunity to meet up with someone. I had also arranged to meet up with another but things got in the way. There's also another lass on here who I'd like to think, if I'm ever travelling her way, we would definitely meet up.
The forums are a great place to show who you are and connect with various people. The issue is that they tend to be 200+ miles away. Good excuse for a weekend away on the train if you really like someone and have a connection with them. "
This is how I look at it now, get a weekend away to somewhere new |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get the distance doesn’t matter thing, but I’ve always found it weird. Unless you live really remotely, how many people live within 20 miles of you?
For me, there must be millions of people within 20 miles of me. If I can’t find someone in those millions, I’ve got bigger issues at hand.
If I had to travel 300 miles, past 10s of millions of other people, to find someone worth meeting… I dunno what that says about me
Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people near by. Unfortunately you don't actually get to talk to them all, and let's face it the majority that are on fab are just plain weird.
I'd say it says you're particular and won't settle just because someone is near by.
Suppose it’s completely different for guys, I find for the most part, very few women are weird or creepy or seems dangerous, so I don’t feel the need to travel so far when there are literally 1000s of very normal, good looking women on my doorstep. For example after 100s of dates I can only think of 1 or 2 women where I felt weirded out, where as most women I speak to it’s every other guy that puts them on edge.
Guess that’s just another privilege of being a guy
Are we talking about male privilege! I’m in!!
If you attended the meetings you’d be clued up on this.
Every Tuesday at the snooker club lads. No girls allowed "
Tomorrow? Nice  |
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"I get the distance doesn’t matter thing, but I’ve always found it weird. Unless you live really remotely, how many people live within 20 miles of you?
For me, there must be millions of people within 20 miles of me. If I can’t find someone in those millions, I’ve got bigger issues at hand.
If I had to travel 300 miles, past 10s of millions of other people, to find someone worth meeting… I dunno what that says about me
Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people near by. Unfortunately you don't actually get to talk to them all, and let's face it the majority that are on fab are just plain weird.
I'd say it says you're particular and won't settle just because someone is near by.
Suppose it’s completely different for guys, I find for the most part, very few women are weird or creepy or seems dangerous, so I don’t feel the need to travel so far when there are literally 1000s of very normal, good looking women on my doorstep. For example after 100s of dates I can only think of 1 or 2 women where I felt weirded out, where as most women I speak to it’s every other guy that puts them on edge.
Guess that’s just another privilege of being a guy "
My own numbers and percentages are very different. I've had 60+ verified meets on here in 5½ years across 4 profiles and a handful of non-verified meets.
The vast majority have been social with only 7 play meets in all that time. That's by choice btw and suits my pace perfectly.
I've travelled up to 3 hours and found that caused issues because there was then an expectation that I'd done it once so there was nothing preventing me from doing it again on a regular basis.
I have met women socially and been extremely thankful it didn't go further because of the absolute obsession and levels of insanity they displayed in relation to other meets they had subsequently and the drama that played out across chatgroups etc.
The site is full of extremely weird people and that in itself is another reason that I'm very selective in who I meet even if it's only for a coffee.
I can honestly say I've turned down as many requests to meet as I have accepted, some because of distance and some because of expectations on their part.
This isn't a lifestyle choice for me. It's a hobby or a distraction and travelling distances isn't something I'm interested in or have the time and inclination to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why?
Because for some people the distance is irrelevant. If they like you and want to meet you and are happy to travel or even you’re happy to meet them half way then why not… |
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We travel about 20 mile's for our meets, though it's good to get to know people further away as we do travel from time to time, we would prefer to meet people who we have got to know off the forums than just a random meet now message though.  |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I don't see any problem with messages from profiles further away unless you've explicitly stated only local people.
I used to travel very long distances to meet the most interestimg and sexy individuals. If there's one thing fab showed me is that you rarely find who you fancy locally. |
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I live in Yorkshire I've travel as far as Southampton for a meeting and all over the country even gone to Scotland .but for me I have to have first a meeting of minds before bodies.
if you got the right mental connection and phyical attraction.Then distance shouldn't be a barrier .the only considerations should be the logistics and the time you have together. And with the way prices are at the moment can you afford to travel and stay . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't see any problem with messages from profiles further away unless you've explicitly stated only local people.
I used to travel very long distances to meet the most interestimg and sexy individuals. If there's one thing fab showed me is that you rarely find who you fancy locally. "
Lol my profile says local only but still at least 75% of my messages are from people hundreds of miles away! |
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"Why?
Because for some people the distance is irrelevant. If they like you and want to meet you and are happy to travel or even you’re happy to meet them half way then why not…"
•
Precisely.
All my meets, encounters and interludes have originated far from my locale.
Chemistry, friendship, appeal and/or sexual tension seems to transcend all geographical constraints. At least in my experience anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get a lot of distant messages... Almost always it suggested that distance isn't an issue, but having first hand experience of never being in the same county i can tell you it is a big deal and i would never knowingly do it again |
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