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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do some guys on this site, speak and treat girls with total utter disrespect.
If a guy was taking a non swinging girl out on a 'normal' date would he pick her up and say, 'hey, want to fuck you so hard. etc' I doubt it! So why, and I really want to know, do guys presume that women on fab should be approached in such a disrespectful way. Come on guys, work for it!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It might not be what YOU like, but that does not make it lacking in respect.I agree that on a first date i would not expect to have comments made to me along those lines, but this is NOT dating is it, it's swinging - so comments about sex are not THAT shocking! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As others have said we all have our different tastes, some may like it, some may not!! I wouldn't personally call it disrespectful.... After all it's a swinging site where like minded people meet for sex! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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OK, Fair point, I dont like it but I should respect that other women like messages like, 'Hey, let me fuck your ass today or Hey, want to come in your mouth today'....mmmmmm, if it flicks your switch girls then great but I prefer a guy who waits until he is with me before he fucks my ass and comes in my mouth lol |
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I always try to treat people the way I would like to be treated - and that happens to be with respect.
Others may want something different.
Hints in profiles help - but you gotta communicate to find out what's in and what's not.
Being hugely disrespectful makes my quest a little easier  |
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"OK, Fair point, I dont like it but I should respect that other women like messages like, 'Hey, let me fuck your ass today or Hey, want to come in your mouth today'....mmmmmm, if it flicks your switch girls then great but I prefer a guy who waits until he is with me before he fucks my ass and comes in my mouth lol"
see what you're saying, maybe dirty talk in the bedroom/kitchen/garden etc is fine but for an opening line, thats probably a cut and paste job.......really?!?!?!
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"Why do some guys on this site, speak and treat girls with total utter disrespect.
If a guy was taking a non swinging girl out on a 'normal' date would he pick her up and say, 'hey, want to fuck you so hard. etc' I doubt it! So why, and I really want to know, do guys presume that women on fab should be approached in such a disrespectful way. Come on guys, work for it! "
I completely agree.. yes its not a dating site so is a bit different although its also not a prostitute site.. Its a swinging site.. and no problem with sex talk but we feel even sexy talk can be done with respect. Just because we are on here does not mean the early messages should be degrading and like you are a piece of meat. there would come a point when that type of talk is more acceptable once you know then a little better maybe and a regular meet no worries.. but new meet should show respect.. i bet its not just women mind.. i bet there are some women that could be a bit too forward and say too much too soon and put some guys off.. i know probably not many but i suspect there are some. lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do some guys on this site, speak and treat girls with total utter disrespect.
If a guy was taking a non swinging girl out on a 'normal' date would he pick her up and say, 'hey, want to fuck you so hard. etc' I doubt it! So why, and I really want to know, do guys presume that women on fab should be approached in such a disrespectful way. Come on guys, work for it!
I completely agree.. yes its not a dating site so is a bit different although its also not a prostitute site.. Its a swinging site.. and no problem with sex talk but we feel even sexy talk can be done with respect. Just because we are on here does not mean the early messages should be degrading and like you are a piece of meat. there would come a point when that type of talk is more acceptable once you know then a little better maybe and a regular meet no worries.. but new meet should show respect.. i bet its not just women mind.. i bet there are some women that could be a bit too forward and say too much too soon and put some guys off.. i know probably not many but i suspect there are some. lol"
totally agree 
so we like casual sex, we aint desperate or sex machines or free whores! im amazed if there are woman that like being treated like that by guys! or maybe its just loving the attention of feeling sexually attractive ;/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A woman puts an advetisement on a sex site.
A man replies with "i want to fuck you hard/fast/badly whatever"
He may be guilty of showing little imagination in his reply or making no effort, but i am at a loss as to how it is disrespectful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Funcpl, totally agree! Nothing wrong with dirty talk, infact im all up for it but when a guy messages a girl, especially for the first time, 'wanna see me spunk' for me personaly is a automatic, delete!! |
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"A woman puts an advetisement on a sex site.
A man replies with "i want to fuck you hard/fast/badly whatever"
He may be guilty of showing little imagination in his reply or making no effort, but i am at a loss as to how it is disrespectful."
If you don't like it don't reply to them. If they get no meets they will either adapt their style or leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't like it, I will just delete those messages. I like to be treated with respect, but like others have said, some people like it....just not for me  |
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well im from a different generation and although it saddens me, what seems obvious is that the social conventions we have when meeting people in the real world do not apply on the world wide web. I think this has massive implications for society. This Internet behaviour has already seeped out into real world interractions. Im not a fan of it
"Why do some guys on this site, speak and treat girls with total utter disrespect.
If a guy was taking a non swinging girl out on a 'normal' date would he pick her up and say, 'hey, want to fuck you so hard. etc' I doubt it! So why, and I really want to know, do guys presume that women on fab should be approached in such a disrespectful way. Come on guys, work for it! "
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
some reap what they sow to be honest. I have witnessed from behind the bar of a swingers club the most outrageous behaviours of d*unk females. Now the same can be said of some guys, I however witnessed far less of that.
I was brought up to respect all women, do I share that _iew today.... in swinging, No. I don't disrespect ( nor dislike any female in swinging ) but I will show indifference towards the manipulative behaviours of some. I am also very happy for others to show me the same. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"W Come on guys, work for it!
"
Now ok, "come let me fuck the arse of you" etc is hardly a great introduction.......but why do they have to work for it?
I thought it is meant to be about mutual respect between consenting adults who are looking for sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A woman puts an advetisement on a sex site.
A man replies with "i want to fuck you hard/fast/badly whatever"
He may be guilty of showing little imagination in his reply or making no effort, but i am at a loss as to how it is disrespectful."
for a start its a swinging site not a sex site hence the name fabswingers and as has already been mentioned if you were in a pub and a man walked upto you and said fancy a fuck or id like to fuck your ass so hard or something along them lines would you find it disrepectful or lacking imagination and before the nit picking brigrade dive on me saying but your on a swinging site yes i am and after chatting and deciding if we are going to meet then yes dirty talk is more than welcomed but to start a conversation in any walk of life with fancy a fuck or similar is disrespectful no matter which way you look at it. |
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"It might not be what YOU like, but that does not make it lacking in respect.I agree that on a first date i would not expect to have comments made to me along those lines, but this is NOT dating is it, it's swinging - so comments about sex are not THAT shocking!"
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In fairness, it might be best establishing first if that kind of dialogue will be met positively.
No man here was ever criticised for approaching women 'respectfully', even if she was looking for the kind of encounter the OP describes, so he's nothing to lose by being polite.
I suspect the men who do use sensational language from the off are thrill seekers, hoping to ejaculate as they type with one hand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plenty about who like it rough and ready, just go and check out the pics in the gallery and see!  "
i dont see the link between liking it rough and ready and being spoken to like a free whore on a first message :/
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A woman puts an advetisement on a sex site.
A man replies with "i want to fuck you hard/fast/badly whatever"
He may be guilty of showing little imagination in his reply or making no effort, but i am at a loss as to how it is disrespectful."
cos we may have ads on a sex site but that doesnt make us instant sex machines/nymphos/free whores.
if i am gonna have casual sex with a guy then i need to know he can respect my wishes and not just see me as there for his pleasure! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I said 'come on guys, work for it' maybe not to be taken literally but I am saying if guys think they can message a girl with ;hey, lets fuck etc they are not going to get a great response, to 'work for it' maybe guys can have a bit more imagination and put some thought into their introductory message x |
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"Funcpl, totally agree! Nothing wrong with dirty talk, infact im all up for it but when a guy messages a girl, especially for the first time, 'wanna see me spunk' for me personaly is a automatic, delete!!"
exactly.. dirty talk.. well dirtier the better but not on first contact..we like to be approached like humans not free prostitute. there are plenty of sites for that and swinging generally should involve more respect for each other.
But the approach of some with us get instant delete and block to stop abuse.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are MANY things that i would not find acceptable in my local pub, for example people having their cocks, tits and fannys out. People wanking whilst other watch/give direction and so on.........
Would i want to meet someone whose opening message was "i want to fuck you" - no i would not as i like people to have a little more about them. But them saying that just means that they are not what i am looking for, not that they are being disrespectful. |
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"There are MANY things that i would not find acceptable in my local pub, for example people having their cocks, tits and fannys out. People wanking whilst other watch/give direction and so on.........
Would i want to meet someone whose opening message was "i want to fuck you" - no i would not as i like people to have a little more about them. But them saying that just means that they are not what i am looking for, not that they are being disrespectful."
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I'm afraid I have to disagree, they're being disrespectful in that they haven't paid you the courtesy of taking the time to find out what your objectives are from this lifestyle.
I also strongly believe that most men approaching a women this way without prior knowledge are likely to be timewasters, since the chances of success of finding a playmate as a single male with a disciplined approach are minuscule without resorting to language that might offend or at least offput the majority of women here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are MANY things that i would not find acceptable in my local pub, for example people having their cocks, tits and fannys out. People wanking whilst other watch/give direction and so on.........
Would i want to meet someone whose opening message was "i want to fuck you" - no i would not as i like people to have a little more about them. But them saying that just means that they are not what i am looking for, not that they are being disrespectful.
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I'm afraid I have to disagree, they're being disrespectful in that they haven't paid you the courtesy of taking the time to find out what your objectives are from this lifestyle.
I also strongly believe that most men approaching a women this way without prior knowledge are likely to be timewasters, since the chances of success of finding a playmate as a single male with a disciplined approach are minuscule without resorting to language that might offend or at least offput the majority of women here."
lol feel free to disagree, i dont object to other people having a different opinion than we do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive never even been tempted to meet with someone who's opening line was something crude.
When in swinging clubs, no one has (to date) come up to me and said something crude as an opener.
I think I would be so shocked if someone did, theyd know by my reaction they just shot themselves in the foot.
Just my opinion of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do some guys on this site, speak and treat girls with total utter disrespect.
If a guy was taking a non swinging girl out on a 'normal' date would he pick her up and say, 'hey, want to fuck you so hard. etc' I doubt it! So why, and I really want to know, do guys presume that women on fab should be approached in such a disrespectful way. Come on guys, work for it! "
Think I'd add crude an rude to that, I'd never meet someone just for sex, I enjoy the friendship off a relationship and the chemistry that comes with it, but this is a sex site for swingers , you all have the choice and the delete button, if someone offends you move on.......
It's not all guys that are like that , just a small minority....  |
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Well ladies, you could lways take me up on my Gold Star deal.
I will wine and dine you at an exclusive restaurant, take you out afterwards for a lovely evening entertsinment together before escorting you home for a night of sensual seduction and unbridled passion. 
Any ladies want to book me let me know, I need to let McDonalds know so they can wipe my window table down, save some more M&M wrappers for free cinema tickets and wangle a packet of condoms out of the pub machine with a stick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well ladies, you could lways take me up on my Gold Star deal.
I will wine and dine you at an exclusive restaurant, take you out afterwards for a lovely evening entertsinment together before escorting you home for a night of sensual seduction and unbridled passion.
Any ladies want to book me let me know, I need to let McDonalds know so they can wipe my window table down, save some more M&M wrappers for free cinema tickets and wangle a packet of condoms out of the pub machine with a stick "
Hey thats MY Mcd's you're talking about  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A woman puts an advetisement on a sex site.
A man replies with "i want to fuck you hard/fast/badly whatever"
He may be guilty of showing little imagination in his reply or making no effort, but i am at a loss as to how it is disrespectful.
cos we may have ads on a sex site but that doesnt make us instant sex machines/nymphos/free whores.
if i am gonna have casual sex with a guy then i need to know he can respect my wishes and not just see me as there for his pleasure!"
Unfortunately some people are disrespectful... And some people even think it's ok..... ?!?!!
Not sure which is worse.  |
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I don't think it's largely about people lacking respect - though there are those too - I think it mostly reflects somewhat diminished social skills that are endemic, and not exclusive to Fab.
There's a wealth of postings from folk who don't really know much about what to communicate, nor how, via their profiles, and this is an aspect of similar issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do some guys on this site, speak and treat girls with total utter disrespect.
If a guy was taking a non swinging girl out on a 'normal' date would he pick her up and say, 'hey, want to fuck you so hard. etc' I doubt it! So why, and I really want to know, do guys presume that women on fab should be approached in such a disrespectful way. Come on guys, work for it! "
You started off ok by saying 'some guys' then lost my respect when you started to generalise and refer to all guys...now I don't care if you are upset. Get over yourself |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Why do some guys on this site, speak and treat girls with total utter disrespect.
If a guy was taking a non swinging girl out on a 'normal' date would he pick her up and say, 'hey, want to fuck you so hard. etc' I doubt it! So why, and I really want to know, do guys presume that women on fab should be approached in such a disrespectful way. Come on guys, work for it! "
My response to messages like that is either ignore and delete, or, if I am feeling arsey, I ask what they expect would happen if they approached a woman in a pub with that line. Then I tell them if it was me they would be nursing a sore face. Then I delete the buggers! Fortunately, it is rare I get such messages. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Respect works both ways, i am not surpised by some single guys attitude ( although a simple delete would suffice)some single females have a very superior attitude and its a very much " so what can you do for me " attitude which to guys is a turn off....you reap what you sow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I said 'come on guys, work for it' maybe not to be taken literally but I am saying if guys think they can message a girl with ;hey, lets fuck etc they are not going to get a great response, to 'work for it' maybe guys can have a bit more imagination and put some thought into their introductory message x"
And then there are the ladies that accuse all men that send more than a one liner of cutting and pasting.
Tbh men on here cannot really win, unless they step out from behind the computer and go to socials etc.
But some women put so many barriers and obstacles in the way, that we are bound to fall over at some point!
The great thing about the messages here is you can read the first part without opening it. So if you don't like what you see delete and move on. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I said 'come on guys, work for it' maybe not to be taken literally but I am saying if guys think they can message a girl with ;hey, lets fuck etc they are not going to get a great response, to 'work for it' maybe guys can have a bit more imagination and put some thought into their introductory message x
And then there are the ladies that accuse all men that send more than a one liner of cutting and pasting.
Tbh men on here cannot really win, unless they step out from behind the computer and go to socials etc.
But some women put so many barriers and obstacles in the way, that we are bound to fall over at some point!
The great thing about the messages here is you can read the first part without opening it. So if you don't like what you see delete and move on. "
great post! |
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I must be honest about a couple of things:
1 - I have sent "fancy a fuck" messages........... and they work
2 - I have been approached in a pub (well a cocktail bar actually) and the opening line was "I want to fuck you so much right now"....... and that worked too
Some people (men, women and couples) like the direct approach - some don't.
Some like the pretence, the wooing and courtship rituals... some even need them so as not to feel cheap - some don't.
Some people like whatever they feel like liking on the day depending on their mood and who sent the message.
Asking someone if they fancy a fuck on a site for people who do fancy a fuck quite a lot of the time (well some people do anyway) is not cast in stone as a lack of respect.
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"Well ladies, you could lways take me up on my Gold Star deal.
I will wine and dine you at an exclusive restaurant, take you out afterwards for a lovely evening entertsinment together before escorting you home for a night of sensual seduction and unbridled passion.
Any ladies want to book me let me know, I need to let McDonalds know so they can wipe my window table down, save some more M&M wrappers for free cinema tickets and wangle a packet of condoms out of the pub machine with a stick
Hey thats MY Mcd's you're talking about "
Hang on, I'll get my stick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I said 'come on guys, work for it' maybe not to be taken literally but I am saying if guys think they can message a girl with ;hey, lets fuck etc they are not going to get a great response, to 'work for it' maybe guys can have a bit more imagination and put some thought into their introductory message x"
Another dull generalisation about all guys yawn |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i never send messages that or rude or be rude in person.
never seen the point of it and i know sometimes i have come across as a nasty bugger on these forums but that isnt me.
if anything i care about people too much and have put them before myself.
if anyone sends me a rude or nasty message i just block them.do not reply, just block them |
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