FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What would you do ?
What would you do ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If someone you started a message chat with give you all the the right vibes and you both ticked each other’s boxes then stopped replying with no warning ( even though you clearly picked up on what they’re profile asked for) would you be disappointed? It happened to me recently.
I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.
Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion? |
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No, I'd take a time waster as someone who arranged a meet and didn't show up.
People cha ge their mi ds for many reasons.
I've changed my mind over people if I've felt they've asked for a meet in a time frame I'd considered too soon. I prefer to be the one to decide when I'm comfortable enough to talk about meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear that OP.
Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.
I hope you have better luck in the future  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear that OP.
Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.
I hope you have better luck in the future "
This  |
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By *nobyMan
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Sorry to hear that OP.
Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.
I hope you have better luck in the future
This "
That hundreds of possible reasons from list phone to list interest and more and, as said above, minds can change. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear that OP.
Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.
I hope you have better luck in the future "
Cheers buddy. Just disappointing when you finally get someone you think isn’t gonna waste your time then does. It’s hard enough for single men on here as it is without situations like that |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I've stopped chatting to people before when I found them too pushy about meeting when I wasn't ready to. They ignored it when I said I wasn't ready and kept asking as though because I had chatted for a while they were somehow entitled to a meet.
I've also stopped chatting when people have said things that made me feel uneasy or were a red flag to me.
Does that make me a timewaster, probably to them but I won't be pushed into meeting anyone until I am ready. I learnt early on to not be pressured on here to meet until I am ready to. I did once and it was horrible so I won't again.
And while I understand it can be frustrating everyone no matter what gender has a right to change their mind or decide to stop chatting if someone says or does something they are not happy with. To me they aren't a time waster they just decided they don't want to meet or chat anymore.
To me a timewaster is someone who won't show up when a meet is arranged and ghosts rather than says anything. |
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It happens and I think realistic expectations would expect this a lot.
As most people are not mutually compatible with most other people, their easiest chats will seem bright and rosy. As things progress, more will drop out, typically when 1 no longer wants to continue.
It includes availability, as well as personality and sexual vibes. People here have partners, families, friends and work that will change their motivations and availability.
Getting realistic expectations is essential. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've stopped chatting to people before when I found them too pushy about meeting when I wasn't ready to. They ignored it when I said I wasn't ready and kept asking as though because I had chatted for a while they were somehow entitled to a meet.
I've also stopped chatting when people have said things that made me feel uneasy or were a red flag to me.
Does that make me a timewaster, probably to them but I won't be pushed into meeting anyone until I am ready. I learnt early on to not be pressured on here to meet until I am ready to. I did once and it was horrible so I won't again.
And while I understand it can be frustrating everyone no matter what gender has a right to change their mind or decide to stop chatting if someone says or does something they are not happy with. To me they aren't a time waster they just decided they don't want to meet or chat anymore.
To me a timewaster is someone who won't show up when a meet is arranged and ghosts rather than says anything. "
I understand what your saying and completely agree. However with the person I’m talking about stated in her profile that she wasn’t interested in chatting or meeting socially before meeting ( just arrange a meet and fuck with no strings etc)
She made it very clear that there was no small talk etc. she messaged back and let it be clear she liked my messages and even after I apologised For being direct she said I had no reason to apologise. From that to ignoring a message after an offer to make a plan to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No this isn’t timewasting! Maybe you said something that put her off or maybe she just changed her mind. There’s a Maria’s of reasons why someone decides not to continue a conversation when meeting is suggested! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No this isn’t timewasting! Maybe you said something that put her off or maybe she just changed her mind. There’s a Maria’s of reasons why someone decides not to continue a conversation when meeting is suggested! "
*myriad of reasons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No this isn’t timewasting! Maybe you said something that put her off or maybe she just changed her mind. There’s a Maria’s of reasons why someone decides not to continue a conversation when meeting is suggested! "
I concur but think you mean a myriad. To be facetious  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No this isn’t timewasting! Maybe you said something that put her off or maybe she just changed her mind. There’s a Maria’s of reasons why someone decides not to continue a conversation when meeting is suggested!
*myriad of reasons "
You corrected yourself. How embarrassing for me. Sorry  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No this isn’t timewasting! Maybe you said something that put her off or maybe she just changed her mind. There’s a Maria’s of reasons why someone decides not to continue a conversation when meeting is suggested!
*myriad of reasons
You corrected yourself. How embarrassing for me. Sorry "
That’s what you get for being a smart ass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No this isn’t timewasting! Maybe you said something that put her off or maybe she just changed her mind. There’s a Maria’s of reasons why someone decides not to continue a conversation when meeting is suggested!
*myriad of reasons
You corrected yourself. How embarrassing for me. Sorry
That’s what you get for being a smart ass "
That's what I get for not having faster fingers  |
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"I've stopped chatting to people before when I found them too pushy about meeting when I wasn't ready to. They ignored it when I said I wasn't ready and kept asking as though because I had chatted for a while they were somehow entitled to a meet.
I've also stopped chatting when people have said things that made me feel uneasy or were a red flag to me.
Does that make me a timewaster, probably to them but I won't be pushed into meeting anyone until I am ready. I learnt early on to not be pressured on here to meet until I am ready to. I did once and it was horrible so I won't again.
And while I understand it can be frustrating everyone no matter what gender has a right to change their mind or decide to stop chatting if someone says or does something they are not happy with. To me they aren't a time waster they just decided they don't want to meet or chat anymore.
To me a timewaster is someone who won't show up when a meet is arranged and ghosts rather than says anything. "
Yes |
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"If someone you started a message chat with give you all the the right vibes and you both ticked each other’s boxes then stopped replying with no warning ( even though you clearly picked up on what they’re profile asked for) would you be disappointed? It happened to me recently.
I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.
Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion? "
Yes I'd be disappointed but that is this crazy world. Who knows the reason. Maybe you said something to put her off. Maybe she is a time waster/fantasist (plenty of ladies like that and not just men) who just enjoys the chat. Maybe something happened in her life and sex/Fab suddenly took a back seat.
I (Mr) had one before in single days that was worse. Chatted a lot, met for a social and got on well, she grabbed me in the car park for a snog and then suggested meeting 3 days later. We fixed time and messaged just after. 12 hours later she blocked me with no word. Funnily enough contacted us via our couples profile a year or two later as didn't realise it was me. I asked what happened and she said "turned out I got a better offer". She is still active and full of herself demanding that men treat her politely and with manners   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone you started a message chat with give you all the the right vibes and you both ticked each other’s boxes then stopped replying with no warning ( even though you clearly picked up on what they’re profile asked for) would you be disappointed? It happened to me recently.
I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.
Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion? "
I have zero expectations on here to actually meet someone. When/if I have it's because work/life/family commitments/free time all aligned (or possibly just because we had the horn at a date that matched up). I have crossed over with folk that I've chatted with for say 72hrs and said 'do you know what we're both free? Let's meet?', and then other folk I've actively chatted with for on/off endless months, and for whatever reason time never aligns or I'm fairly sure it'll never evolve beyond chatter (no stringing along, just is what it tis). I just crack on with my day regardless though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear that OP.
Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.
I hope you have better luck in the future "
Yes this. You enjoyed talking to each other, it just didn’t work out.
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She maybe enjoyed the chat but then you asked to meet too soon or she thought that was your only intention of chatting…
Can’t see where the time wasting is - unless you count building a connection as time wasting if you don’t get to have sex with her 
K |
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"If someone you started a message chat with give you all the the right vibes and you both ticked each other’s boxes then stopped replying with no warning ( even though you clearly picked up on what they’re profile asked for) would you be disappointed? It happened to me recently.
"
But did you clearly pick up what her profile asked for ? You said she made it clear she didn't want any chatting or small talk. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I recently blocked someone who kept mentioning meeting,I'd already said no I didn't feel like I wanted to yet.
He asked again and wasn't respecting my boundaries,so he was blocked.
Chatting doesn't mean someone will definitely meet you op ,it sounds like something put her off maybe or she just changed her mind.
People do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She maybe enjoyed the chat but then you asked to meet too soon or she thought that was your only intention of chatting…
Can’t see where the time wasting is - unless you count building a connection as time wasting if you don’t get to have sex with her
K"
This |
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"If someone you started a message chat with give you all the the right vibes and you both ticked each other’s boxes then stopped replying with no warning ( even though you clearly picked up on what they’re profile asked for) would you be disappointed? It happened to me recently.
I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.
Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion? "
Are you sure they're a she and not a Man playing games? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My opinion would be a few possible reasons.
They got bored.
You could have said something they didn’t agree with.
They changed their mind.
It wasn’t a woman to begin with.
Many many more.
I would call them a time waster though. You hadn’t arranged to meet, and then not turned up. That’s my definition of a time waster.
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"If someone you started a message chat with give you all the the right vibes and you both ticked each other’s boxes then stopped replying with no warning ( even though you clearly picked up on what they’re profile asked for) would you be disappointed? It happened to me recently.
I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.
Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion?
Are you sure they're a she and not a Man playing games?"
Was about to say depends on context...
Is this somebody who has met a few other people, especially fairly recently? If so then just changed mind, something put her off, something in her life, etc.
Or has she not met anybody? (even if Fab verified as lady but especially if not and could be a man) Then quite possibly a time waster. Just like many men, there are a lot of ladies who enjoy the chase, the fantasy, etc but are very unlikely to meet and just run away when that becomes a possibility. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Many chats go well right up to the point face or additional (perhaps cock) pics are exchanged, then the interest and attraction ends and they block because that's easier than saying "I've changed my mind, sorry"
A |
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