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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This time it's the last time I quit! Two years on here wasted! I must be doing something terribly wrong. Even allowing for Covid I would say I got a response rate of less than 10% and about 70% of sent messages were never even read. I can't be the only one so I assume I am doing something terribly wrong in my messages or approach. What's most amazing is the level of complaints on here from females saying a lot of men are rude and aggressive, pestering etc. But then men like myself get nowhere. So having left the site before seems now the time has come again to give up.
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I think what you are doing wrong is not having any sort of profile pic. A lot of people ignore messages from silhouettes.
Also, as you acknowledge, Covid had a massive impact for two years on people meeting. |
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By *ORBCouple
over a year ago
Dundalk |
Only you can tell if you are doing something wrong.It is harder on here for men to get chatting and to get meets,and that will never change unfortunately for them.
The excuse that women complain about rude men and you are not, is an excuse you use on here for lack of success.Yes some women do complain about it but even the men who throw abuse I'm pretty sure still see themselves as nice decent guys and will find some excuse for their behaviour.But just because you see yourself as a decent guy that does not mean women should chat or meet because being nice and not abusive should be the minimum requirement on here anyhow and that goes for everyone. It does not make anyone special.
Most women and I know do this,look at a profile before I even answer a message if the profile doesn't appeal they rarely will answer a message. I don't not because I get a lot of messages but because I have gotten to the stage I can't be bothered opening lines of communication with those I know I'm not interested in. But just because I'm not interested in someone that does not mean the next person will feel the same.
Only you can know if being on here is worth your while,if it is making you feel bad about yourself then maybe hide your profile and come back when you feel different about it all.
.Bo.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought your profile bio was well written, maybe a couple more pictures? And certainly a profile picture. Try not let the no response get you down, engage with people on forums, maybe check out the meetups/events section.
Also, take all that advice with a pinch of salt, as I rarely get many interactions on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alternatively, do what I do and treat this site as entertainment.
My profile lacks any info now, previously it was very well written.
I did some really good messages and even got compliments on my messages, but ultimately all were no thank you.
I had one couple who made contact with me which I was surprised about, message's were exchanged and a meeting arranged. However, on the evening of the meet these sickos messaged me to say please don't go to that address, it's an old disabled lady who lives there! Complete waste of time.
Hence now, why my profile is pretty much blank, I don't expect to get a meet and don't much care, I'm on here for shits and giggles. |
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"This time it's the last time I quit! Two years on here wasted! I must be doing something terribly wrong. Even allowing for Covid I would say I got a response rate of less than 10% and about 70% of sent messages were never even read. I can't be the only one so I assume I am doing something terribly wrong in my messages or approach. What's most amazing is the level of complaints on here from females saying a lot of men are rude and aggressive, pestering etc. But then men like myself get nowhere. So having left the site before seems now the time has come again to give up.
"
Bye now. |
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As a woman who searches out profiles of the men I meet solo yours wouldn’t come up as I search on interests.
And a black silhouette profile pic rules you out for many.
It amazes me how many people whinge and moan about lack of success yet the two things that come up most on these threads, pic and interests, are lacking on their profiles.
I think some just like the drama of a flouncing departure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you message people even though you are outside of their preferences you can't get annoyed if they don't respond. If you message people who's preferences DO include your age, etc. and there's no return of interest, you need to be mature and secure enough to just move on, again you're not entitled to a response.... it's in the FAB rules and etiquette, and it's basic common sense.
"But I want it so give it to me! You're all so mean" is an attitude that just doesn't work irl even for toddlers.
If you aren't enjoying anything in life it's time to change things up.
There's no 'Everyone's a Winner' rule on FAB, it takes resilience, effort and reading the room and a certain attitude and perspective to use any kind of social media. Like others have said, if it's not for you or if you need a break you should listen to your own instincts.
No one here wishes you anything but good things, good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a woman who searches out profiles of the men I meet solo yours wouldn’t come up as I search on interests.
And a black silhouette profile pic rules you out for many.
It amazes me how many people whinge and moan about lack of success yet the two things that come up most on these threads, pic and interests, are lacking on their profiles.
I think some just like the drama of a flouncing departure. "
I only removed my profile pic and I've said my interests vary depending on how I'm feeling and who I am with. I will take your advice on board. Some positive responses here, some negative. I've also recieved some kind messages of support and advice so fir those who took the time thanks. |
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"As a woman who searches out profiles of the men I meet solo yours wouldn’t come up as I search on interests.
And a black silhouette profile pic rules you out for many.
It amazes me how many people whinge and moan about lack of success yet the two things that come up most on these threads, pic and interests, are lacking on their profiles.
I think some just like the drama of a flouncing departure. I only removed my profile pic and I've said my interests vary depending on how I'm feeling and who I am with. I will take your advice on board. Some positive responses here, some negative. I've also recieved some kind messages of support and advice so fir those who took the time thanks."
Profile pics come up in your inbox so removing that and leaving a face pic in your pic box is just asking for failure really.
Interests may vary from person to person, but with zero interests how is someone supposed to know if you have any commonalities at all?
You could be into anything from whips, chains and gimp masks right up to tantric sex by classical music, or like most somewhere in between. People don’t have a clue.
I’m an average looking fat woman, I currently have 86 unread messages so even with me there are instant deletes and you do two of them, then complain that you’re not having success - it’s not that you’re not having success, it’s that you’re setting yourself up to fail then being surprised when it happens |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you message people even though you are outside of their preferences you can't get annoyed if they don't respond. If you message people who's preferences DO include your age, etc. and there's no return of interest, you need to be mature and secure enough to just move on, again you're not entitled to a response.... it's in the FAB rules and etiquette, and it's basic common sense.
"But I want it so give it to me! You're all so mean" is an attitude that just doesn't work irl even for toddlers.
If you aren't enjoying anything in life it's time to change things up.
There's no 'Everyone's a Winner' rule on FAB, it takes resilience, effort and reading the room and a certain attitude and perspective to use any kind of social media. Like others have said, if it's not for you or if you need a break you should listen to your own instincts.
No one here wishes you anything but good things, good luck OP"
Thank you for this. Ok Ive modifed my profile again and will put up some better photos later on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you message people even though you are outside of their preferences you can't get annoyed if they don't respond. If you message people who's preferences DO include your age, etc. and there's no return of interest, you need to be mature and secure enough to just move on, again you're not entitled to a response.... it's in the FAB rules and etiquette, and it's basic common sense.
"But I want it so give it to me! You're all so mean" is an attitude that just doesn't work irl even for toddlers.
If you aren't enjoying anything in life it's time to change things up.
There's no 'Everyone's a Winner' rule on FAB, it takes resilience, effort and reading the room and a certain attitude and perspective to use any kind of social media. Like others have said, if it's not for you or if you need a break you should listen to your own instincts.
No one here wishes you anything but good things, good luck OP"
Well said... |
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"If you message people even though you are outside of their preferences you can't get annoyed if they don't respond. If you message people who's preferences DO include your age, etc. and there's no return of interest, you need to be mature and secure enough to just move on, again you're not entitled to a response.... it's in the FAB rules and etiquette, and it's basic common sense.
"But I want it so give it to me! You're all so mean" is an attitude that just doesn't work irl even for toddlers.
If you aren't enjoying anything in life it's time to change things up.
There's no 'Everyone's a Winner' rule on FAB, it takes resilience, effort and reading the room and a certain attitude and perspective to use any kind of social media. Like others have said, if it's not for you or if you need a break you should listen to your own instincts.
No one here wishes you anything but good things, good luck OP
Thank you for this. Ok Ive modifed my profile again and will put up some better photos later on. "
So you aren't leaving?? |
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"This time it's the last time I quit! Two years on here wasted! I must be doing something terribly wrong. Even allowing for Covid I would say I got a response rate of less than 10% and about 70% of sent messages were never even read. I can't be the only one so I assume I am doing something terribly wrong in my messages or approach. What's most amazing is the level of complaints on here from females saying a lot of men are rude and aggressive, pestering etc. But then men like myself get nowhere. So having left the site before seems now the time has come again to give up."
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Take on board some of the advice and goodwill encouragement on this thread. Persevere, seek inspiration from other profiles and perhaps attend a Fab organised social (if possible). Hopefully with luck you will have some positive traction on here to remain indefinitely.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’re doing a lot better than some. You’ve admitted that you’re doing something wrong and not blaming women and couples. It’s up to you to change your approach and see if that works. Good luck. |
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