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Best thing about a breakup
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have the worst thing about a breakup thread, what about the best thing!
For me it was discovering my freedom and figuring out who I am and what I want! Okay not quite figured out but getting there.  |
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No longer living in a constant state of anxiety and always feeling like I wasn’t good enough. I’m not being lied to or cheated on and I have so much fun with my friends. Plus, I only have to financially support myself. |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
It's a chance for new beginnings, a rebirth and starting again.
And that's for both parties, and whenever I've had an amicable break up I've always enjoyed seeing an ex rediscover the happiness that is always missing towards the end of a failing relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wasn’t until my ex and I separated that I realised just how toxic and harmful our relationship had become. And how much damage we were likely doing to the kids in the process. Finding the courage to walk away from that was probably one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. But healing from it, seeing my ex healing from it and finding someone who makes her happy, and most of all seeing my children becoming happier and doing better at school and in life was more than worth the hard steps. |
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"Having the entire bed back to myself!
Oh my god yes. And not hiding my porn watching was nice  "
Towards the end his Google search history was literally a porn catalogue, he'd have kittens if he saw mine now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight? "
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Are you referring to the weight of the person or your own 8 stone weight loss? "
Lol that would be a tiny man! My own extra weight! Shifted 8 stone in 6 months. |
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"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally! "
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead? "
And that would have saved the relationship??
I did similar, not losing a lot of weight as such but certainly getting fitter.
Why not during? If you're with a guy that loves you, builds you up and encourages you then yeah I'm sure you would.
If you're with a guy that does the exact opposite it kinda wears you down a bit and you lose interest in a lot of things, including yourself.
|
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"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead?
And that would have saved the relationship??
I did similar, not losing a lot of weight as such but certainly getting fitter.
Why not during? If you're with a guy that loves you, builds you up and encourages you then yeah I'm sure you would.
If you're with a guy that does the exact opposite it kinda wears you down a bit and you lose interest in a lot of things, including yourself.
"
No im not saying it definitely would save a relationship, but there is no doubt some relationships fall away as a result of one or both parties letting themselves go.
So doing ones utmost to avoid that during a relationship is surely a must |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"It wasn’t until my ex and I separated that I realised just how toxic and harmful our relationship had become. And how much damage we were likely doing to the kids in the process. Finding the courage to walk away from that was probably one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. But healing from it, seeing my ex healing from it and finding someone who makes her happy, and most of all seeing my children becoming happier and doing better at school and in life was more than worth the hard steps."
Loads of this applied to me and well put above. Sadly the ex is not doing as well due to other issues she’s dealing with. Still sadly has an impact on my kids and myself. Other that that, things are sooooo much better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead? "
If I’d been in the type of relationship that supported me probably! I was slim prior to him and slim after I was only fat during the relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead?
And that would have saved the relationship??
I did similar, not losing a lot of weight as such but certainly getting fitter.
Why not during? If you're with a guy that loves you, builds you up and encourages you then yeah I'm sure you would.
If you're with a guy that does the exact opposite it kinda wears you down a bit and you lose interest in a lot of things, including yourself.
No im not saying it definitely would save a relationship, but there is no doubt some relationships fall away as a result of one or both parties letting themselves go.
So doing ones utmost to avoid that during a relationship is surely a must"
I wouldn’t want to save that kind of relationship tbh! I still dressed well, was well groomed, nails done etc just heavier! Tried multiple times to lose the weight but he was not supportive OR encouraging! |
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"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead?
If I’d been in the type of relationship that supported me probably! I was slim prior to him and slim after I was only fat during the relationship. "
Do you think you could have put in more effort to stay in shape during the relationsip, regardless of any support or not?
Im not judging by the way, just genuinely curious |
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"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead?
And that would have saved the relationship??
I did similar, not losing a lot of weight as such but certainly getting fitter.
Why not during? If you're with a guy that loves you, builds you up and encourages you then yeah I'm sure you would.
If you're with a guy that does the exact opposite it kinda wears you down a bit and you lose interest in a lot of things, including yourself.
No im not saying it definitely would save a relationship, but there is no doubt some relationships fall away as a result of one or both parties letting themselves go.
So doing ones utmost to avoid that during a relationship is surely a must
I wouldn’t want to save that kind of relationship tbh! I still dressed well, was well groomed, nails done etc just heavier! Tried multiple times to lose the weight but he was not supportive OR encouraging! "
Without trying to sound insensitive here, but dressing nice and getting the nails done etc is easy. Getting to the gym or out for the run is the hard part.
As for the support part, presumably being single therefore you dont have anyone to support you or encourage you, so how did you manage to lose the weight then? Did you put in more hard work when single therefore? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead?
If I’d been in the type of relationship that supported me probably! I was slim prior to him and slim after I was only fat during the relationship.
Do you think you could have put in more effort to stay in shape during the relationsip, regardless of any support or not?
Im not judging by the way, just genuinely curious"
Na nothing could have saved it! Ultimately we just wanted different things. He wanted to buy a house together and make long term plans whereas I wanted to give up my house and go travelling. We just weren’t compatible. He had small children and mine are adults.
Being deeply unhappy is not conducive to losing weight! It’s no shocker to me that I lost it rapidly after ending the relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead?
And that would have saved the relationship??
I did similar, not losing a lot of weight as such but certainly getting fitter.
Why not during? If you're with a guy that loves you, builds you up and encourages you then yeah I'm sure you would.
If you're with a guy that does the exact opposite it kinda wears you down a bit and you lose interest in a lot of things, including yourself.
No im not saying it definitely would save a relationship, but there is no doubt some relationships fall away as a result of one or both parties letting themselves go.
So doing ones utmost to avoid that during a relationship is surely a must
I wouldn’t want to save that kind of relationship tbh! I still dressed well, was well groomed, nails done etc just heavier! Tried multiple times to lose the weight but he was not supportive OR encouraging!
Without trying to sound insensitive here, but dressing nice and getting the nails done etc is easy. Getting to the gym or out for the run is the hard part.
As for the support part, presumably being single therefore you dont have anyone to support you or encourage you, so how did you manage to lose the weight then? Did you put in more hard work when single therefore? "
Didn’t have someone constantly bodyshaming me anymore so didn’t need the support. |
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The ‘divorce diet’ is amazing. I had to have all my suits taken in. Then got asked out on a date by the seamstress who did them.
Actually that was a bit of a theme at the time. I went out for a beer with the jeweller who made our wedding rings. Didn’t get home for three days. She was *great*. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being happy and go where ever I like and feeling more sexy and meeting nice people at socials in the beginning it was hard but as the years go love my Private life but then I have some fun to  |
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"Having the entire bed back to myself!
Oh my god yes. And not hiding my porn watching was nice
Towards the end his Google search history was literally a porn catalogue, he'd have kittens if he saw mine now "
The interesting thing was, when I was free of the relationship, I no longer felt the need to watch porn as much! I think it was an escapism that I no longer needed. Not that I became a pornstar, but hopefully you get what I mean! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think you could have put in more effort to stay in shape during the relationsip, regardless of any support or not?
Im not judging by the way, just genuinely curious
Being deeply unhappy is not conducive to losing weight! It’s no shocker to me that I lost it rapidly after ending the relationship.
Food can be a distraction and part of a cycle like: eat, feel better, have a row, eat to feel better, feel bad about having eaten a second biscuit, think f#£% it I might as well have a third, feel ill, think oh I'll have a piece of toast to settle my stomach, toast comes with spread and tea, tea has a biscuit.....
It's a rabbit hole of unhappiness and when the break comes & the thing at the rotten core of it all is gone you can breathe again and as happiness settles back to a healthy level you don't reach for a treat to paper over the cracks of what the real issue is: the festering corpse of a relationship
Too much?"
For others it's not food, it's drink or sex or other things |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight? "
I didn't. It wasn't voluntary weight loss but I did need it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead?
And that would have saved the relationship??
I did similar, not losing a lot of weight as such but certainly getting fitter.
Why not during? If you're with a guy that loves you, builds you up and encourages you then yeah I'm sure you would.
If you're with a guy that does the exact opposite it kinda wears you down a bit and you lose interest in a lot of things, including yourself.
No im not saying it definitely would save a relationship, but there is no doubt some relationships fall away as a result of one or both parties letting themselves go.
So doing ones utmost to avoid that during a relationship is surely a must
I wouldn’t want to save that kind of relationship tbh! I still dressed well, was well groomed, nails done etc just heavier! Tried multiple times to lose the weight but he was not supportive OR encouraging!
Without trying to sound insensitive here, but dressing nice and getting the nails done etc is easy. Getting to the gym or out for the run is the hard part.
As for the support part, presumably being single therefore you dont have anyone to support you or encourage you, so how did you manage to lose the weight then? Did you put in more hard work when single therefore?
Didn’t have someone constantly bodyshaming me anymore so didn’t need the support. "
I thought the 8 stone you were carrying was a jokey reference to your ex. Well done! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead?
And that would have saved the relationship??
I did similar, not losing a lot of weight as such but certainly getting fitter.
Why not during? If you're with a guy that loves you, builds you up and encourages you then yeah I'm sure you would.
If you're with a guy that does the exact opposite it kinda wears you down a bit and you lose interest in a lot of things, including yourself.
No im not saying it definitely would save a relationship, but there is no doubt some relationships fall away as a result of one or both parties letting themselves go.
So doing ones utmost to avoid that during a relationship is surely a must
I wouldn’t want to save that kind of relationship tbh! I still dressed well, was well groomed, nails done etc just heavier! Tried multiple times to lose the weight but he was not supportive OR encouraging!
Without trying to sound insensitive here, but dressing nice and getting the nails done etc is easy. Getting to the gym or out for the run is the hard part.
As for the support part, presumably being single therefore you dont have anyone to support you or encourage you, so how did you manage to lose the weight then? Did you put in more hard work when single therefore?
Didn’t have someone constantly bodyshaming me anymore so didn’t need the support.
I thought the 8 stone you were carrying was a jokey reference to your ex. Well done!"
Haha nope actual weight loss and thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Oh yes well done, also a good one and 3.5 for mee
Genuine question, why did you wait for a break up before losing weight?
Not so much that I waited, more that I was in the right place mentally!
That question was directed to the other lady above, but fair enough, same applies to yourself.
I am curious though, a lot of people seem to go down the self improvement route after a breakup. The question is, could all that not have been done during the relationship instead? "
Food for thought!!
Do many reflect daily? Our very own actions? Not always actions of other's... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wasn’t until my ex and I separated that I realised just how toxic and harmful our relationship had become. And how much damage we were likely doing to the kids in the process. Finding the courage to walk away from that was probably one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. But healing from it, seeing my ex healing from it and finding someone who makes her happy, and most of all seeing my children becoming happier and doing better at school and in life was more than worth the hard steps."
You should teach that to some people. Sir, you have my utmost respect, and I applaud you. You and your ex both to be fair. |
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"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Are you referring to the weight of the person or your own 8 stone weight loss?
Lol that would be a tiny man! My own extra weight! Shifted 8 stone in 6 months. "
What’s your secret been trying for ages to lose weight |
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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago
milton keynes |
"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Are you referring to the weight of the person or your own 8 stone weight loss?
Lol that would be a tiny man! My own extra weight! Shifted 8 stone in 6 months.
Loads of people loose weight after break up ..
What’s your secret been trying for ages to lose weight"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it was shifting the extra 8 stone I was carrying!
Are you referring to the weight of the person or your own 8 stone weight loss?
Lol that would be a tiny man! My own extra weight! Shifted 8 stone in 6 months.
What’s your secret been trying for ages to lose weight"
It was pretty simple really! Reduce calories in. I was probably consuming at least 2500 calories per day which I reduced to 1000 calories until I reached my goal weight. To maintain, I consume around 2000. |
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Not having pointless arguments about silly stuff.
Plus your freedom to be you and find your self again - the person you were hiding because that would end in another argument if that aspect surfaced 
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