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Men who have been there through labour
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just seen a Dr Youn (famous TikTok surgeon) video of a guy holding his hand's wife while she pushes their kid out but turning away and gagging/almost fainting.
By the way this is NOT a male witch hunt - I recognise that he was still trying to support his partner and it's hard to contain natural reflexes like gagging and the important thing is he was there and holding her hand etc
But it did get me wondering - did you see some stuff you'll never get over when your kids were born? How did you feel about it? Or did you even look at all?? |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
I was there for the birth of both of my kids.
Going by her antics in later life, I can guarantee she's the mother, but I can't guarantee if I'm the father. Probably am, though, as there's family traits in both of them lol |
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"I was there for the birth of both of my kids.
Going by her antics in later life, I can guarantee she's the mother, but I can't guarantee if I'm the father. Probably am, though, as there's family traits in both of them lol"
I mean you can guarantee it. There are tests available |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best feeling in the world being there and seeing my son being born. Very emotional and Was holding back tears throughout tbh and not repulsed by it at all. Definitely happiest day of my life and look back fondly!
I was however a little freaked out at first at his cone head - looked like a little alien. I got some funny looks from the midwife by asking if his head will stay like that haha. It didn't - it's normal after a tight squeeze. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was there when my first child was born to late for the second both girls
Not harrowing exactly but disturbing was difficult birth and she needed a bit of help so epidural was given she was sat on chair I had hold of both her hands the doctor said do not let her know when needle goes in I didn’t but the size of needle ten inches long
Apart from that all good made me teary when baby was born they pulled baby out on her stomach miracle of birth
Have four grandsons now so  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My labour wasn't straight forward and quite scary and Mr J seen some awful things  bless him, he always stood by me and held my hand throughout it all though 
Miss S x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My 2 were c sections & was there for both, i did look around the curtain thing they put up to see what was going on, it didnt make me feel. sick or anything but decided against it with the second & last one. My partner at the time was brilliant as to me it looked extremly uncomfortable for her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was there with the ex wife when my son was born and I cut the umbilical cord. I didn't realise how much stuff would come out of her or that she would shit herself. It all collected in a pool in the bed and the midwife had to bail it out into buckets.
I proud to be the first to hold him and the first thing he saw. That was twenty years ago. Two years ago I missed out on my daughter's birth because of lockdown. I wish I could have been there but I at least I have done it once. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was there, I felt useless, I wanted to help, wanted to take away the pain.
The look in her eye, the fear, the pain.
I tried to remain strong but it was ripping me up on the inside.
My eldest child messaged me to say they're outside the hospital, they needed my keys to get home.
I went straight outside, smiling, he looked at me horrified and asked ..... Dad what's happened.
I said nothing bad at all, it's all good, then burst into tears as I expressed how useless I felt in that moment. That she must hate me right now because of the pain.
I'll tell you, having no idea on what exactly she is going through, as I'll never have the experience, I found it difficult, very difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn’t get the option, Mrs S had to have a c-section under GA. So I was punted to the waiting room while surgeons spent the next 45 minutes fighting to keep Mrs S alive after our little one was delivered. I aged 10 years in that hour. Never have I felt so useless and helpless. |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
"I was there for the birth of both of my kids.
Going by her antics in later life, I can guarantee she's the mother, but I can't guarantee if I'm the father. Probably am, though, as there's family traits in both of them lol
I mean you can guarantee it. There are tests available "
Yeah I could, but I had no reason to doubt then, and that was well over 30 years ago. Bit pointless now. As far as I'm concerned I'm their dad |
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Yes I was there for 8 out of 9 of them. Fantastic experience. Unfortunately the one I didn't see was my 3rd child. I had to go into work. I was a nurse on a intensive care unit for babies and children who had open heart surgery. My wife went into labour as I was preparing to go to work. She was early by a week when the others had been late. Too late to call in |
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My ex husband was there & pretty useless tbh!
After 48 hours then her getting stuck, I had an emergency C section …. more uselessness really  he was amazing soon as she popped though! Credit where it’s due! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I looked the first time. Never again. That shit was like something out of a horror film.
I technically didn’t go through it the second time. She was very agitated and didn’t want me anywhere near her so I just sat on a chair in the corner eating crisps |
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"I looked the first time. Never again. That shit was like something out of a horror film.
I technically didn’t go through it the second time. She was very agitated and didn’t want me anywhere near her so I just sat on a chair in the corner eating crisps "
I really believe it’s no place for blokes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I looked the first time. Never again. That shit was like something out of a horror film.
I technically didn’t go through it the second time. She was very agitated and didn’t want me anywhere near her so I just sat on a chair in the corner eating crisps
I really believe it’s no place for blokes "
The first time I like to think I did a great job but the second time she was induced. She said the slow build up of contractions made her irritable and she didn’t even want to look at my face. Apparently it was me that caused all this with my penis |
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The most awesome time seeing my Daughter born! Would not only recommend it to every man, but for me it's a duty - one any man should WANT to be there for.
Not much of a bloke if you can't be there to support your partner. |
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"The most awesome time seeing my Daughter born! Would not only recommend it to every man, but for me it's a duty - one any man should WANT to be there for.
Not much of a bloke if you can't be there to support your partner. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was there for the birth of both of my kids.
Going by her antics in later life, I can guarantee she's the mother, but I can't guarantee if I'm the father. Probably am, though, as there's family traits in both of them lol"
This wasn't what was asked? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just remember being so angry he wanted to nip outside for a cigarette 
My mum was my birthing partner for my first and I felt much more supported that time. |
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The ex nearly keeled over with our first when he looked at the wrong time and saw me get an episiotomy, I swear he went white and his eyes rolled 
He had no choice but to be at the action end with our second as he had to deliver her as she came so quick and noone could get to us in time. He needed to be sat down outside before he fell down when the adrenaline dropped according to the ambulance crew.
TG x |
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"The ex nearly keeled over with our first when he looked at the wrong time and saw me get an episiotomy, I swear he went white and his eyes rolled
He had no choice but to be at the action end with our second as he had to deliver her as she came so quick and noone could get to us in time. He needed to be sat down outside before he fell down when the adrenaline dropped according to the ambulance crew.
TG x"
Adrenaline high then a quick fall. But at least he was there and stepped up when needed |
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My ex was present for both our children. The first was long and laborious (pun intended) and I remember being really annoyed with him because he got a cup of tea, and I didn’t. He drank it in front of me!! (Should have been a sign, haha) The second was a matter of minutes, they came out fist first and that shook him up more than the first, as both the baby and myself were in shock.
He says being there is the most amazing experience he’s ever had.
I’ve assisted on labours when I was a nurse, and seeing the myriad of emotions for both parents has been amazing. It’s was always amusing hearing the dads say “she’s not usually like that” when the mums make their discomfort, and sometimes who they blame, very apparent xx |
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"My ex was present for both our children. The first was long and laborious (pun intended) and I remember being really annoyed with him because he got a cup of tea, and I didn’t. He drank it in front of me!! (Should have been a sign, haha) The second was a matter of minutes, they came out fist first and that shook him up more than the first, as both the baby and myself were in shock.
He says being there is the most amazing experience he’s ever had.
I’ve assisted on labours when I was a nurse, and seeing the myriad of emotions for both parents has been amazing. It’s was always amusing hearing the dads say “she’s not usually like that” when the mums make their discomfort, and sometimes who they blame, very apparent xx "
He said the worst thing was seeing me have an episiotomy on the first, and the sound made when they cut me. It was like something from a horror movie, because of where they were cutting xx |
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"I looked the first time. Never again. That shit was like something out of a horror film.
I technically didn’t go through it the second time. She was very agitated and didn’t want me anywhere near her so I just sat on a chair in the corner eating crisps
I really believe it’s no place for blokes
The first time I like to think I did a great job but the second time she was induced. She said the slow build up of contractions made her irritable and she didn’t even want to look at my face. Apparently it was me that caused all this with my penis "
Selfish bastard |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
I was there for both kids. Nothing extraordinary, maybe it’s just me, I am not easy to make sick  , faint etc.
It’s nice for future father to be there to support wife/partner and make decision if needed in critical moment.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn’t get the option, Mrs S had to have a c-section under GA. So I was punted to the waiting room while surgeons spent the next 45 minutes fighting to keep Mrs S alive after our little one was delivered. I aged 10 years in that hour. Never have I felt so useless and helpless. "
Oh  I didn't know you couldn't be there for a C-section with GA - I had one without. That must have been a very tough experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex never said any of the things that men are saying on this thread. He just said he could never have sex with me again after seeing my fanjo pulsating. (He of course did want sex again)
It's genuinely lovely to read of the impact witnessing birth has on fathers. |
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I was there for the 27 hours of labour for our planned home birth that ended in a blue light trip to hospital and an emergency c section and held her hand throughout. P was upset that I didn't film it all but there's no way I could have looked over the little screen. While they stitched her up they stuck our son up my scrubs for the 'skin on skin' first contact and the feelings will stay with me forever. Best Xmas present ever. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My ex never said any of the things that men are saying on this thread. He just said he could never have sex with me again after seeing my fanjo pulsating. (He of course did want sex again)
It's genuinely lovely to read of the impact witnessing birth has on fathers. "
I agree! Not gonna lie I was expecting more gross-out stories
But it's been intriguing and heartwarming read some of these perspectives! Dads are (or should be) still very much part of the childbirth process but you never hear much about their experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There for 2 out of my 3 kids didn't no what to expect but watched helped and cut the cord but each to there own definitely I felt more of a connection and she ripped my arm fing and blinding first one was the hardest for her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex never said any of the things that men are saying on this thread. He just said he could never have sex with me again after seeing my fanjo pulsating. (He of course did want sex again)
It's genuinely lovely to read of the impact witnessing birth has on fathers.
I agree! Not gonna lie I was expecting more gross-out stories
But it's been intriguing and heartwarming read some of these perspectives! Dads are (or should be) still very much part of the childbirth process but you never hear much about their experiences. "
It's a good thread to start! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn’t get the option, Mrs S had to have a c-section under GA. So I was punted to the waiting room while surgeons spent the next 45 minutes fighting to keep Mrs S alive after our little one was delivered. I aged 10 years in that hour. Never have I felt so useless and helpless.
Oh I didn't know you couldn't be there for a C-section with GA - I had one without. That must have been a very tough experience. "
Longest couple of hours ever. So many mixed emotions, meeting the little person while mum was potentially checking out on the operating table. |
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The most frightening yet amazing and emotional experience I've ever had the privilege of being present at twice..
Never felt more scared, fecking useless and a tad guilty for the pain that was happening..
Wonderful too.. |
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It was a very long experience, nearly 20 hours of labour. The arrival of my son was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced but seeing your partner in so much pain and being helpless to do anything was hard to take
A piece of advice that I wish I had taken was to stay by the head and not be tempted to go have a look what was happening.
It was a little like after you watch jaws, it takes a little bit of time to want to go back in the water afterwards |
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"Just seen a Dr Youn (famous TikTok surgeon) video of a guy holding his hand's wife while she pushes their kid out but turning away and gagging/almost fainting.
By the way this is NOT a male witch hunt - I recognise that he was still trying to support his partner and it's hard to contain natural reflexes like gagging and the important thing is he was there and holding her hand etc
But it did get me wondering - did you see some stuff you'll never get over when your kids were born? How did you feel about it? Or did you even look at all?? "
Yep,I was allowed to deliver the baby to a point, saw my kid born, supported the mom, saw the after birth played and poked the afterbirth, cut the cord.
I can see why some get Squimish and the heat in there can get oppressive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd like to hope the majority of men who have been there at the birth of their child have just been overcome with wonder at what he and his partner have created "
I agree with this, and I was in awe… xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was with my sister when she gave birth to her first. Despite having already had 2 babies myself, it was quite a shock to realise just how frightening it is to see someone you love in that much pain. |
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Well been there twice and it was horrible think we guy's should let women get on with it...
Not put of with a bit of blood or poo have help hundreds of animal's give birth but women are better with humans... |
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Mr KC nearly missed the birth of my second, his first (and only) baby. After a mad dash in a taxi, he made it for the bit where the baby actually comes out. I'd done all the rest in a comparatively short time, on my own (because men weren't allowed on the ante natal ward after 8pm). He seemed fine with the whole thing, no squeamishness although he said from the start that he didn't want to cut the cord etc which was fine. He held our daughter very soon after she was born, blood, goo and all and was incredibly proficient in helping her latch on to my boob.
He then spent the days after her birth, while they tried to work out why I couldn't walk, holding her pretty much all the time, he didn't want to put her down!
When we were initially allowed home, the day after, the midwife said she was too jaundiced and she had to go into the children's ward to be put under UV light. They said they couldn't support me to be with her, so I was stuck at home in bed, on my own, and Mr KC went and stayed in hospital with her for two nights, three days. He had to learn how to make up formula very quickly and I had to just put up with being stuck upstairs at home, without my baby or my husband.
He was there throughout my later (successful) attempts to relactate, getting up every night, multiple times to do bottle feeding while I dry pumped and he did everything really, because often I couldn't.
He's the absolute best Dad and husband ever  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was there for our first, held her hand throughout, when it wasn't in the way and stayed through a tricky birth, handling the gas and air and just chatting in the down moments. On the Entonox she was away with the fairies most of the time anyway. Second was an emergency caesarian so I couldn't be present. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was there with my ex for both of them doing what i could, it’s was amazing and bloody horrific at the same time lol but I didn’t look down there, I don’t want to see something abusing my play ground  it was the best I could do lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a brilliant line in Bridget Jones Baby when the paediatrician (Emma Thompson) states her husband said that watching her giving birth was like watching his favourite pub burn down. I laughed.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn’t get the option, Mrs S had to have a c-section under GA. So I was punted to the waiting room while surgeons spent the next 45 minutes fighting to keep Mrs S alive after our little one was delivered. I aged 10 years in that hour. Never have I felt so useless and helpless.
Oh I didn't know you couldn't be there for a C-section with GA - I had one without. That must have been a very tough experience.
Longest couple of hours ever. So many mixed emotions, meeting the little person while mum was potentially checking out on the operating table. "
I can imagine. I know dads get sidelined somewhat but there's a lot of anxiety and worry for you. Childbirth can be damned risky. |
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