FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > So why the secrecy?
So why the secrecy?
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By *werbles OP Couple
over a year ago
Bodmin |
Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
Is it similar to being scared to come out?
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
Embrace who you are and let people know because then it won't be embarrassing when it is found out.
Although we are trying(not successfully)to break into the lifestyle we have no problem talking to people about it because it is nothing to be ashamed about. Or are we missing something? |
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I have no issue talking about my sex life to people but people can be pricks and can attempt to manipulate and cause issues if you have your pics on display.
I choose who knows about my sex life. The easiest way for me to do that is to control who sees my face pics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Society as a whole is monogamous and unless you are in the lifestyle, it's hard to understand. Even single people on here find it difficult to process couples sharing with others.
I'm not embarrassed just don't want a conversation defending or explaining my life choices. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t talk to people about my sex life, so why would I tell them about this?
Nothing to do with being embarrassed about it, it’s simply none of their business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am not at all embarrassed about swinging but I don't show my face as I don't want my adult children or their friends seeing explicit pics of me"
 that wise to be honest.
I heard stories on here about that kinda stuffs |
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I've never had a conversation in work with anyone about my sex life or theirs.
Ireland is basically the equivalent of a small town with a similar but perfectly understandable mindset and people literally do know each other.
Many employers would have major issues with people being on here especially those in positions that could be manipulated by those who choose to use that info against them. |
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Your profile says you are newbies (9 weeks in) and on a gentle slope of discovery.... I hope it all works out well for you both and you get through the highs and lows of fab!
Be careful on the forums though! Enjoy the forums, read the forums....most of us I believe have been burnt at some point on the forums, crossing the line, mis-timing a comment etc...so enjoy, respect others no matter their situation and Fab shall reward! |
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"At times I have previously had my face on display.
I was at my local shop and a guy stopped me outside to say he recognised me.
There are many reasons why folk do not show their face pics."
Indeed, unfortunately some people don't understand boundaries or what is appropriate or that people are not out to get random sex 24/7  |
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By * o yWoman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"I have no issue talking about my sex life to people but people can be pricks and can attempt to manipulate and cause issues if you have your pics on display.
Well typed
I choose who knows about my sex life. The easiest way for me to do that is to control who sees my face pics. "
 |
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By *werbles OP Couple
over a year ago
Bodmin |
"Your profile says you are newbies (9 weeks in) and on a gentle slope of discovery.... I hope it all works out well for you both and you get through the highs and lows of fab!
Be careful on the forums though! Enjoy the forums, read the forums....most of us I believe have been burnt at some point on the forums, crossing the line, mis-timing a comment etc...so enjoy, respect others no matter their situation and Fab shall reward!"
We love that advice, thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Half the men on here are worried their Mrs will find out. And half the women on here are worried their fella will find out.
Everyone knows I speak the truth  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t talk to people about my sex life, so why would I tell them about this?
Nothing to do with being embarrassed about it, it’s simply none of their business. "
Exactly this. We have had friends for over 40 years that we never discuss sex with. Why would you feel the need to ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not embarrassed about being here, but I'd rather not discuss it with people I know in real life as most aren't understanding and can be extremely judgemental. I know most people who know me would look down on me if they even saw just a nude pic.
Also, people are weird. I'm not sharing my face with 40,000 people who are online. You never know who is watching you. |
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"Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
Is it similar to being scared to come out?
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
Embrace who you are and let people know because then it won't be embarrassing when it is found out.
Although we are trying(not successfully)to break into the lifestyle we have no problem talking to people about it because it is nothing to be ashamed about. Or are we missing something? "
You're missing the fact that not everyone shares details of their sex life with friends and family whether it's swinging or not
Everyone is entitled to be discreet if that's what they want
By all means be open about your sex life but don't expect everyone to be and respect people's desire for discretion of that's what they want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Half the men on here are worried their Mrs will find out. And half the women on here are worried their fella will find out.
Everyone knows I speak the truth "
Sshusssshhh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yay and I'd possibly be unemployed!
On second thoughts I'll stay hidden.
Profile is funny as feck, we love it lol.
"
Surprisingly I'm not a comedian in real life. Hard to believe I know. |
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"I get blocked when I send men my face picture. At least this way they might be interested for a moment.  "
There are times when I disagree with your posts but always respect them..and at least you always come across as genuine, intelligent and thoughtful, far more attractive than a size 10 figure with false lips and eyelashes etc....backing up my observations your current profile pic beats the old 'hand' profile pic  |
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I don't generally let people know, but I've got face pics on my profile so I suppose I'm OK with fellow Fabbers seeing me. I think I must have been seen out and about as a quick search has shown quite a few in a 5 mile radius, but they've not got face pics and nobody's said anything to me when I've been out.
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It's nothing to do with being embarrassed about being in here or hiding away. My sex life I have always kept private I don't talk about it in work etc. Some friends and family know I'm on here no one else needs to know,bar those I meet off here.
The best thing to do is concentrate on your own journey and not pointing fingers at others who do things differently to you. If you don't mind work mates etc knowing ye are on here fair play not everyone will feel the same and some may even avoid you if you are so open because it could mean you are also not so discreet with their info as well. |
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I'm not embarrassed, but by the same token, my sex life is not for public consumption. I don't want to be hassled in public, I don't want it to get in the way of my community work (it should be irrelevant, but). I don't want it to colour my professional life.
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"I've never had a conversation in work with anyone about my sex life or theirs.
Ireland is basically the equivalent of a small town with a similar but perfectly understandable mindset and people literally do know each other.
Many employers would have major issues with people being on here especially those in positions that could be manipulated by those who choose to use that info against them. "
Can be similar here depending on your job. I'd be sacked I'm sure if my private life were discovered ! |
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I have private pics of my face, but I’m cautious about who they’re shared with. I have lots of pics of my partially naked body on my profile, I don’t necessarily want them to be linked to my face.
There will be people I know who are on here that I don’t know about. I don’t really want them to see me naked or read my veris. Perhaps I work with them, maybe I manage them at work, it’d be inappropriate.
I’m not ashamed to be here, but this is my sex life, I don’t share my sex life with everyone I know. Many people in my life know I’m here, but even then I wouldn’t necessarily want them to be able to easily find naked pics of me on the internet. I’m sure they probably wouldn’t either. |
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I like the choice and control over who I share intimate details with.
I dislike with a vengeance, the enormously intrusive nature of big tech and I have zero trust or respect for their business model of acquiring anything possible about individuals. I have given too much away and don't trust our government to provide adequate protection for us citizens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm exactly the same. Lots of people know I'm on here but I've adult children and would hate if them it their friends seen my profile. Nothing to be embarrassed about. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I get blocked when I send men my face picture. At least this way they might be interested for a moment.
There are times when I disagree with your posts but always respect them..and at least you always come across as genuine, intelligent and thoughtful, far more attractive than a size 10 figure with false lips and eyelashes etc....backing up my observations your current profile pic beats the old 'hand' profile pic "
Well, it's not really a hand profile picture, it's the shop. Fab requires the hand.
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"Or are we missing something? "
Yes, but you're new here, so it's understandable.
All of my family and friends now about my relationship and lifestyle choices. However, that doesn't mean I want them stumbling onto here and being able to see all of me.
Same goes for general members of the public.
Or bosses.
Or toxic exes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughter (who is an adult) knows I'm on here. I didn't exactly burst out of my way to tell her. It just happened that she knows... Do I rush into work to tell folk I don't even really know beyond that environment that I'm on here? Why on earth would I? I might as well disclose to them I'm on my period, or when I last had a shit? |
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By *aulj69Man
over a year ago
dunstable |
My view on this is to just be yourself, you only get one crack of the whip, live your life to the fullest coz when you're dead, you're dead..I've no problem with people seeing my face to be fair either one day someone might find me sexually attractive and give me a trial run? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh! And there we go.. Point in case. I received a PM asking my daughter's username on here? She doesn't have even hold an account 
What the actual fuck!!! "
Sadly I'm not even surprised  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the world we live in now its not hard to see why when people scramble to get info on other people like they have a right to know everything for both happy reasons and illegal reasons like id theft n trickery
This is whats wrong with the world people are too willing to trust strangers with info on them it makes them vulnerable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t discuss my sex life with friends and family, I do have my face public though! If they find out, do be it! They’d have to be on here themselves to see it!
But everyone has to decide their own comfort level! |
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"Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
Is it similar to being scared to come out?
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
Embrace who you are and let people know because then it won't be embarrassing when it is found out.
Although we are trying(not successfully)to break into the lifestyle we have no problem talking to people about it because it is nothing to be ashamed about. Or are we missing something? "
I had a face pic up originally but I get so many views and messages from pictureless profiles that I took them off. Now they're for friends only. |
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"Oh! And there we go.. Point in case. I received a PM asking my daughter's username on here? She doesn't have even hold an account
"
So you post that your adult daughter knows that you're on here and within minutes someone PMs you asking for her name on here? No wonder the rest of us guys on here are getting stigmatised for one dickhead's actions! It truly boils my piss (for want of a better expression!)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t talk to people about my sex life, so why would I tell them about this?
Nothing to do with being embarrassed about it, it’s simply none of their business. "
This
Privacy does not equal shame |
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It’s not about embarrassment. It’s about discretion.
I don’t tell my wider family and friends about my masterbation habits or what sex toys I like so this is no different.
The only people that need any information about my sex life are the people that I might have sex with.
There’s also a safety aspect for me. Having experienced the nastier side of Fab on a social meet I prefer to limit the number of people who have the opportunity to catch me off guard or in a risky situation.
There was a post when I first joined about a woman who was approached in the supermarket by a guy who’d seen her profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am not at all embarrassed about swinging but I don't show my face as I don't want my adult children or their friends seeing explicit pics of me"
This exactly
Missy x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the world we live in now its not hard to see why when people scramble to get info on other people like they have a right to know everything for both happy reasons and illegal reasons like id theft n trickery
This is whats wrong with the world people are too willing to trust strangers with info on them it makes them vulnerable"
Such as? I mean I've zero issues with someone on here knowing my height/boob size. If I want to chat off site an offer a forum that includes my phone number then I do that at my own risk (with the block facility). I freely share my bank account payee details at work with folk who may have put a bulk order on their tab at lunch...
However, I'm not exactly dishing out my pin number to random folk in the street. I have the function to block my bank account my phone within seconds. I can also block my phone account if I lose it. I may give out my address occasionally if I know someone off here, but short of rocking up at my door unexpectedly (at which point I'd not answer/ring the police/let loose the dog)... I totally get what you're saying. But there's a balanced view between risk assessment as an adult/and being fucking stupid as a person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are certain people we really would not like to discover this side of us, because if they were to find out they are likely to do all that can to create troubles for us.
This belief that they too have to be members here to see us and therefore be in the same boat is inaccurate and naive.
We may be recognised by one and shown to others.
We may never know who it is that outed us but be fully aware of who knows.
They are also a complete liar and would make up a story denying being here.
One time, this person looked through another's phone without their knowledge and took one of our numbers to create trouble.
When questioned they first said it was a wrong number, highly coincidental.
They changed that to a clairvoyant told them the number. I mean seriously.
Point is, they believe their own lies and so they'll create the trouble and just keep telling lies feeling people believe them.
Regardless, it still brings problems to our door.
It's not always about being proud or ashamed, but considering others around us and the effect it can have on them.
In short, we're not selfish and consider others feelings.
So let's turn this question around, why don't you consider how others may feel knowing? Do you not care for them?.
Not seriously asking that, just expressing a different perspective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh! And there we go.. Point in case. I received a PM asking my daughter's username on here? She doesn't have even hold an account
So you post that your adult daughter knows that you're on here and within minutes someone PMs you asking for her name on here? No wonder the rest of us guys on here are getting stigmatised for one dickhead's actions! It truly boils my piss (for want of a better expression!)
"
To be fair I've been on/off here to take it with the none offended pinch of salt
But yep, if I was a newbie. I can see it might put some solo women right off |
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"Half the men on here are worried their Mrs will find out. And half the women on here are worried their fella will find out.
Everyone knows I speak the truth "
Oh shit! Hope mine doesn’t find out there’s a picture of his willy on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's nothing to do with being embarrassed about being in here or hiding away. My sex life I have always kept private I don't talk about it in work etc. Some friends and family know I'm on here no one else needs to know,bar those I meet off here.
The best thing to do is concentrate on your own journey and not pointing fingers at others who do things differently to you.
**If you don't mind work mates etc knowing ye are on here fair play not everyone will feel the same and some may even avoid you if you are so open because it could mean you are also not so discreet with their info as well.** "
** |
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"Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
Is it similar to being scared to come out?
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
Embrace who you are and let people know because then it won't be embarrassing when it is found out.
Although we are trying(not successfully)to break into the lifestyle we have no problem talking to people about it because it is nothing to be ashamed about. Or are we missing something? "
Yes. Yes Yes you're missing something.
Imagine being turned down by every single person you approach because you lack discretion.
Imagine your face pictures stuck on every lamppost in your town.
Imagine your picures on every locker door in your children's school.
Imagine being called into the office by HR and being shown the clause in your contract about not bringing your employer into disrepute.
Imagine someone Google imaging your pictures, finding you on social media and contacting everyone you know to tell them your perverts.
Imagine everything but a world full of understanding, tolerant and non judgemental people.
Imagine that for just one moment and you may understand why people choose privacy.
Winston |
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"Yay and I'd possibly be unemployed!
On second thoughts I'll stay hidden.
Profile is funny as feck, we love it lol.
Surprisingly I'm not a comedian in real life. Hard to believe I know. "
I enjoyed your profile too. Very well written.  |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. "
..
That's really cool! But what do your employers think? There's still a lot of companies that write into the terms and conditions that if an employee falls into the realm of disrepute..
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
"I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. ..
That's really cool! But what do your employers think? There's still a lot of companies that write into the terms and conditions that if an employee falls into the realm of disrepute..
"
I make no reference to who I work for and what I do does not interfere with my work? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do you care about other people's choices?!
People's private lives are nobody else's business. There's hundreds of reasons you wouldn't display a photo on here. We aren't all wearing the same perspective on life, that's what makes us individual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess I just fell into habit of keeping it quiet and have just continued in that vein.
I was initially on here as a couple and she is a University lecturer so, although not against the 'rules' for her to be on, it was a no-no for her to engage with any students. Basically so the impartiality of marking and grading would not be potentially compromised.
So we would vet any reply or whatever carefully just to make sure. And one time a current student of hers did message us. However, we just deleted and he never sussed. So the 'why so secret' filter system worked.
So to address one of the OP's points the answer is it is sometimes (of course not always) a simple necessity attached to an individual's gainful employment. Nothing to do with embracing who we are. more not having the option of that choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. ..
That's really cool! But what do your employers think? There's still a lot of companies that write into the terms and conditions that if an employee falls into the realm of disrepute..
I make no reference to who I work for and what I do does not interfere with my work? "
Well that's exactly the point then isn't it? |
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"Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
Is it similar to being scared to come out?
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
Embrace who you are and let people know because then it won't be embarrassing when it is found out.
Although we are trying(not successfully)to break into the lifestyle we have no problem talking to people about it because it is nothing to be ashamed about. Or are we missing something? "
First it's nobody's business except mine and the people I choose to have sex with. Secondly it's a bit more of an issue to come out as a cross dressing bisexual. I'm fully out to my wife and a few others, but as I say it's nobody else's business. If I wanted to dress 24/7 it would be different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. "
An ex colleague and her husband are on sex sites. Every time they upload a new pic, the men at work pass it round and take the piss out of her. Saying what a slapper she is for fucking around and how shit a shag her husband must be. They are always polite to their faces though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not at all, I’d rather show myself so people can see who I am.
But then I completely understand that so many keep it more private for work/other reasons.
But this is where relying on others not to be a prick and use discretion.
We’re all here for the same reason and shouldn’t let a minority spoil that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not at all, I’d rather show myself so people can see who I am.
But then I completely understand that so many keep it more private for work/other reasons.
But this is where relying on others not to be a prick and use discretion.
We’re all here for the same reason and shouldn’t let a minority spoil that."
That's a common misconception.
We really are not all here for the same reason, not at all.
So often there's threads about recognising people in public and approaching them.
Then the .... Have you seen anyone here that you know.
A guy posted the other day about a meet he had with a guy, then the guy moved in across the road and what complications that brought.
Imagine someone you wouldn't like to know you're here, if there isn't anyone, then just pretend.
Now imagine I'm friends with that person and recognise you and so point out your profile to them.
We're not all here for the same thing, we're not all considerate of others. |
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"Not at all, I’d rather show myself so people can see who I am.
But then I completely understand that so many keep it more private for work/other reasons.
But this is where relying on others not to be a prick and use discretion.
We’re all here for the same reason and shouldn’t let a minority spoil that.
That's a common misconception.
We really are not all here for the same reason, not at all.
So often there's threads about recognising people in public and approaching them.
Then the .... Have you seen anyone here that you know.
A guy posted the other day about a meet he had with a guy, then the guy moved in across the road and what complications that brought.
Imagine someone you wouldn't like to know you're here, if there isn't anyone, then just pretend.
Now imagine I'm friends with that person and recognise you and so point out your profile to them.
We're not all here for the same thing, we're not all considerate of others."
Very well put |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
We generally don't discuss our sex life with friends, family or work colleagues - that's not due to shame, it just doesn't seem appropriate.
Even as a young single guy I don't remember discussing the details with my mates, and definitely not if it was anything more than a one night stand.
It was only at my first wedding (I'm on number three now) that my family worked out that our female lodger was more than just a lodger - her joining us on our honey moon sort of gave that away
I'm sure they spoke about it between themselves, but it was never an issue, in fact all three of us were invited to, and attended family gatherings after that.
K
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
"I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. ..
That's really cool! But what do your employers think? There's still a lot of companies that write into the terms and conditions that if an employee falls into the realm of disrepute..
I make no reference to who I work for and what I do does not interfere with my work?
Well that's exactly the point then isn't it? "
Not really my sex and my other colleagues is not really a topic of conversation at work as work is work . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not embarrassed by the lifestyle I've chosen to lead but, I share it how and with whom I choose. It's my private life, I don't want to advertise like a neon sign round my neck because I don't need or want to. I don't want people to recognise me when I'm walking down the street. Not everyone on here is a normal human being that would walk by without saying something. I'll keep my privacy thanks.
Pxx |
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"I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. ..
That's really cool! But what do your employers think? There's still a lot of companies that write into the terms and conditions that if an employee falls into the realm of disrepute..
I make no reference to who I work for and what I do does not interfere with my work?
Well that's exactly the point then isn't it?
Not really my sex and my other colleagues is not really a topic of conversation at work as work is work . "
But that's not the point being made. If it were to come out that you liked fucking multiple people (haven't looked at your profile so this may not be accurate) and you can easily be linked to your employer they can claim you bring their reputation in to disrepute and fire you. It can and does happen.
Sad people on the internet who get rejected have been known to take it rather badly and dox people. Find their information out and post it online for other sad people to hound and harass them. |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
"I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. ..
That's really cool! But what do your employers think? There's still a lot of companies that write into the terms and conditions that if an employee falls into the realm of disrepute..
I make no reference to who I work for and what I do does not interfere with my work?
Well that's exactly the point then isn't it?
Not really my sex and my other colleagues is not really a topic of conversation at work as work is work .
But that's not the point being made. If it were to come out that you liked fucking multiple people (haven't looked at your profile so this may not be accurate) and you can easily be linked to your employer they can claim you bring their reputation in to disrepute and fire you. It can and does happen.
Sad people on the internet who get rejected have been known to take it rather badly and dox people. Find their information out and post it online for other sad people to hound and harass them. "
That’s very sad . Whether you hide yourself on here or not the moment you have a meet or go to a club you can then be recognised. My friends , a married couple have important jobs and have been recognised whilst doing their jobs but nothing has ever been said. I think we are all open to that kind of sad behaviour whether we show our faces or not. |
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"I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. ..
That's really cool! But what do your employers think? There's still a lot of companies that write into the terms and conditions that if an employee falls into the realm of disrepute..
I make no reference to who I work for and what I do does not interfere with my work?
Well that's exactly the point then isn't it?
Not really my sex and my other colleagues is not really a topic of conversation at work as work is work .
But that's not the point being made. If it were to come out that you liked fucking multiple people (haven't looked at your profile so this may not be accurate) and you can easily be linked to your employer they can claim you bring their reputation in to disrepute and fire you. It can and does happen.
Sad people on the internet who get rejected have been known to take it rather badly and dox people. Find their information out and post it online for other sad people to hound and harass them.
That’s very sad . Whether you hide yourself on here or not the moment you have a meet or go to a club you can then be recognised. My friends , a married couple have important jobs and have been recognised whilst doing their jobs but nothing has ever been said. I think we are all open to that kind of sad behaviour whether we show our faces or not. "
Mines not an important job! But have been recognized by alot of Co workers is a big work force! But not been a problem I would never meet any of them have been asked but one I wouldn't someone from work and two they are far to young anyway x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of profiles that have commented on here are single accounts, so it's no different than them saying they had a one night stand as a single person. Couples is different, as we are then expected to explain why we share our partners, or why we feel the need to bring others into our marriage, that's a big conversation to have with others who don't "get it" |
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"Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
Is it similar to being scared to come out?
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
Embrace who you are and let people know because then it won't be embarrassing when it is found out.
Although we are trying(not successfully)to break into the lifestyle we have no problem talking to people about it because it is nothing to be ashamed about. Or are we missing something? "
You assume a lot about a lot of different people and in my case you are wrong on every count.
I'm glad for you that you are using the site your way.
Quite frankly, your way doesn't make you more of a swinger, more of a person , more enlightened or more anything.
Hope you have some success soon.
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many ;peoples jobs/careers require discretion on sites like this . as it would be fatal for them work wise ..
others dont want friends/family/work people seeing their cocks/ cunts / assholes etc
Or simply just many choose not too show their face as they dont want stalkers/weirdos which are a problem on this site ..and sites like this .. I dont show my full face public because of this .. too many random weirdos over the years followed me around in public and as resulted in me getting super violent with them ... not something you need to be doing .
In a Utopia world then of course OP it shouldn't matter at all what adults get upto privately ... there is the issue we live in the real world not a fluffy one online .. the real world doesn't play nicely/fairly . |
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Because I’d rather keep my sex life and personal life completely separate from each other.
If someone wants to talk about sex with me, fine, but I’m still not going to delve into what I like as id rather keep it private. |
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"
That’s very sad . Whether you hide yourself on here or not the moment you have a meet or go to a club you can then be recognised. My friends , a married couple have important jobs and have been recognised whilst doing their jobs but nothing has ever been said. I think we are all open to that kind of sad behaviour whether we show our faces or not. "
You’re right about the fact that as soon as you swap pics or go to a club you can be recognised.
However, not having public face pics - which the OP seems to feel everyone should have - helps minimise that risk.
I’ve swapped face pics with one person today. 80 people, plus anyone in stealth mode, have viewed my profile. So the number of people who could recognise me has been massively minimised.
And for me, the people I’ve swapped pics with are people I’ve chatted with. They’ve got decent profiles. They’re far more likely to be into the lifestyle themselves. Whereas a lot of the people that I’ve opted not to share pics with today are one line, black silhouette profiles and in my experience they’re far more likely to be aggressive and abusive, and I think far more likely to cause trouble for people than long term swingers.
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"Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
Is it similar to being scared to come out?
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
Embrace who you are and let people know because then it won't be embarrassing when it is found out.
Although we are trying(not successfully)to break into the lifestyle we have no problem talking to people about it because it is nothing to be ashamed about. Or are we missing something?
Yes. Yes Yes you're missing something.
Imagine being turned down by every single person you approach because you lack discretion.
Imagine your face pictures stuck on every lamppost in your town.
Imagine your picures on every locker door in your children's school.
Imagine being called into the office by HR and being shown the clause in your contract about not bringing your employer into disrepute.
Imagine someone Google imaging your pictures, finding you on social media and contacting everyone you know to tell them your perverts.
Imagine everything but a world full of understanding, tolerant and non judgemental people.
Imagine that for just one moment and you may understand why people choose privacy.
Winston "
...............................
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I share my face as I’ve nothing to hide, but I think that’s easier for a male. For women I guess it’s not just about lifestyle it’s about not having people come up to you while you’re in sainsburys trying to hit in you or saying they recognise you.
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Secrecy?
You do you tell your friends and co-workers how many wipes it takes you clean your arse too?
My sex life is private to me. Whether it’s a gangbang or consensual sex in the missionary position with the lights off
It’s a need to know basis. It’s no more a secret than the colour pants I wear. Why would anyone else need to know |
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By *ea wangMan
over a year ago
scunthorpe |
I have face pics and will send when asked but often the recipricant doesn't reply or blocks ,I won't put mine in the public domain purely because my private life is just that PRiVATE!!,wonder if op will feel the same way when people randomly come up to them after recognising them in public saying "read your profile on fab do u want to fuck |
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By *ea wangMan
over a year ago
scunthorpe |
I have face pics and will send when asked but often the recipricant doesn't reply or blocks ,I won't put mine in the public domain purely because my private life is just that PRiVATE!!,wonder if op will feel the same way when people randomly come up to them after recognising them in public saying "read your profile on fab do u want to fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
All we can see of your partner is his hand"
They did have a picture on there, together, both showing their faces. Hmmmm |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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"Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
Is it similar to being scared to come out?
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
Embrace who you are and let people know because then it won't be embarrassing when it is found out.
Although we are trying(not successfully)to break into the lifestyle we have no problem talking to people about it because it is nothing to be ashamed about. Or are we missing something? "
How you should behave, how you should go about what you do, how you should or shouldnt do it.....according to others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yay and I'd possibly be unemployed!
On second thoughts I'll stay hidden."
Bloody hell, that is the funniest - and best profile I think I've ever seen on here.
Certainly had me laughing (in a nice way).
Happy fabbing love xx  |
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"Or are we missing something? "
You are indeed missing something. 10 years ago or so, I was a new, single fabber with face pics on show. Just one evening in the local resulted in a barrage of messages from a handful of men who had recognised me. All of these men were persistent. I do not enjoy the feeling of constantly looking over my shoulder - lesson very much learnt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are we missing something?
You are indeed missing something. 10 years ago or so, I was a new, single fabber with face pics on show. Just one evening in the local resulted in a barrage of messages from a handful of men who had recognised me. All of these men were persistent. I do not enjoy the feeling of constantly looking over my shoulder - lesson very much learnt."
wankers |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I've been messaged by men who know me, who would run to my inlaws to stir up the shit pot.
I don't want my children to have to listen to the crap they would crow about, so I keep my face private.
I've also been followed home by someone who saw my face and decided he would pop in for a quickie.
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"I've been messaged by men who know me, who would run to my inlaws to stir up the shit pot.
I don't want my children to have to listen to the crap they would crow about, so I keep my face private.
I've also been followed home by someone who saw my face and decided he would pop in for a quickie.
"
We had someone turn up on the doorstep, asking for "fun". We've never given our address to anyone here, met anyone at our house or put faces on the profile. So, after that experience, we're even LESS likely to be open about it! |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I've been messaged by men who know me, who would run to my inlaws to stir up the shit pot.
I don't want my children to have to listen to the crap they would crow about, so I keep my face private.
I've also been followed home by someone who saw my face and decided he would pop in for a quickie.
We had someone turn up on the doorstep, asking for "fun". We've never given our address to anyone here, met anyone at our house or put faces on the profile. So, after that experience, we're even LESS likely to be open about it!"
I really don't know why people think because we're on here we're available and up for anything at all times.
I had to threaten him when he put his foot in the door as I shut it.
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"I share my face as I’ve nothing to hide, but I think that’s easier for a male. For women I guess it’s not just about lifestyle it’s about not having people come up to you while you’re in sainsburys trying to hit in you or saying they recognise you.
"
Lol! I work in sainsburys and it happens weekly! But I don't mind long as they don't want to stop and chat! As no one got time for that! but I get why not everyone wants that x |
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"I have got to that point in my life where I just don’t worry about what others think anymore. I have spoken to a few friends and family about my lifestyle and haven’t had any negativity. I do live in a village and have been recognised but no one has publicly come up to me and said anything.
I do think there is more acceptance for this lifestyle then ever before. ..
That's really cool! But what do your employers think? There's still a lot of companies that write into the terms and conditions that if an employee falls into the realm of disrepute..
I make no reference to who I work for and what I do does not interfere with my work?
Well that's exactly the point then isn't it?
Not really my sex and my other colleagues is not really a topic of conversation at work as work is work .
But that's not the point being made. If it were to come out that you liked fucking multiple people (haven't looked at your profile so this may not be accurate) and you can easily be linked to your employer they can claim you bring their reputation in to disrepute and fire you. It can and does happen.
Sad people on the internet who get rejected have been known to take it rather badly and dox people. Find their information out and post it online for other sad people to hound and harass them.
That’s very sad . Whether you hide yourself on here or not the moment you have a meet or go to a club you can then be recognised. My friends , a married couple have important jobs and have been recognised whilst doing their jobs but nothing has ever been said. I think we are all open to that kind of sad behaviour whether we show our faces or not. "
I suspect someone is less likely to be "outed" after meeting in a club.
The only way someone could identify you from a swingers club is if they were there themselves.
Winston |
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I've had minor disagreements with people on various forum threads in the past and had someone else send me unsolicited facepics and personal details of the person I've disagreed with in case I needed ammunition.
In another thread about sharing private info I was able to say that I had personally met 6 people in the thread but only knew 3 of their first names and one surname through chatting.
However there were at least 2 others in that thread that I'd never met, never spoken to or even fabbed a pic of theirs but yet I knew what they looked like, their full name and where they worked, all thanks to a woman who has a full-time hobby of screenshotting all her messages including pics and keeps info on everyone she has met even socially.
There are some very strange people on here so the less info they have the better. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I've had minor disagreements with people on various forum threads in the past and had someone else send me unsolicited facepics and personal details of the person I've disagreed with in case I needed ammunition.
In another thread about sharing private info I was able to say that I had personally met 6 people in the thread but only knew 3 of their first names and one surname through chatting.
However there were at least 2 others in that thread that I'd never met, never spoken to or even fabbed a pic of theirs but yet I knew what they looked like, their full name and where they worked, all thanks to a woman who has a full-time hobby of screenshotting all her messages including pics and keeps info on everyone she has met even socially.
There are some very strange people on here so the less info they have the better. "
Strange is not the word I'd use.
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
We don’t show ours as it’s not really a family discussion we want to be having our sex life is our business, plus I imagine the amount of messages must go crazy if you do, although we have been recognised on here by people in the past without showing our faces so don’t think if your face is hidden your secrets safe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are many of you embarrassed about your lifestyle? It seems so because you hide your faces etc.
Is it similar to being scared to come out?
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
Embrace who you are and let people know because then it won't be embarrassing when it is found out.
Although we are trying(not successfully)to break into the lifestyle we have no problem talking to people about it because it is nothing to be ashamed about. Or are we missing something? "
What you are saying is actually extremely stupid.
You say if family, friends, work don't except choices are they worth having, who are you to judge that?
I think you are newbies and you have a lot to learn about this lifestyle.
I would not show facepic on my
Profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no issues being who I am. However I respect my family, friends enough that they don't need to see it or be aware of it.
However, there are sad people who will "out" others to family, friends and employers. |
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I have known people whose friends, family, and colleagues find out about this sort of thing.
It doesn't end well, generally.
(I have also had messages along the lines of "I know who you are, just wait until our boss finds out who you are, you naughty girl" - I shudder to think what someone like that might actually do with someone's identity. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I figure meh. My first face picture got me a shit storm in this small town, but I managed it. My family don't really give a toss, my friends are either from here anyway or not surprised/bothered, and my boss is a tosser anyway, she can try and sack me if she wants but I'll just keep on working (yes, self employed).
But I get why most people prefer to not post face pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If friends,family work etc can't except your choices in life then are they worth bothering about?
"
That's a rather one dimensional way of looking at it. For example my school age children might struggle to accept it or find themselves the butt of others' jibes. Our parents may not understand or readily accept it, as can often be the case when there are generational differences. And our jobs keep a roof over our heads and our children fed, clothed and warm. So yeah these people are still worth bothering about |
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