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Men: have you ever cared...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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... That most women don't have airbrushed, hairless, pornstar type bodies?
Growing up, I definitely thought this is the way you needed to look if you wanted men to desire you sexually. I put it down to a combination of TV/film, porn, social media and just generally listening to my teenage/early twenties guy friends talk.
It was only when I reached my mid twenties that I started realising the guys I was sleeping with didn't seem bothered about my lumps and bumps, cellulite, hyperpigmentation, saggy boobs, massive nipppppwow this list is getting too long 
Did your expectations of what women's bodies should look like change as you matured? Or have you just never cared? |
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Never particularly cared to be honest. It's just whether I like the person rather than their body shape. The mind is the sexiest part of the body.....and a nice smile with eyes that look into your soul |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Amber, completely get that this is for men. 100% get it. But I really wanted to say about how liberating it is to grow hair after a good decade of removing every little bit carefully. The small fortune, the dignity spent on hair removal. And actually, I feel sexier and more womanly now.
I don't even mind my chubbiness. Kind of like it. Men like it. Even embrace it sometimes.
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By *anBerksMan
over a year ago
Berkshire |
I’m not a product of the current era so wasn’t brought up so much on social media / Instagram / TOWIE etc, therefore (massive generalisation klaxon) maybe I don’t have the same pre-conceived idea of what ‘beauty’ should be compared to some of the young ‘uns these days.
And I’ve said it on here before but one of my first girlfriends at Uni back in the early 90s rarely shaved her armpits so I’ve long since been cool with and used to a natural woman.
I think it’s quite sad that there’s a generation that either feels that they need to look a certain way themselves, or demand partners with a certain look, but hey.. each to their own and all that.
As you get older I think everyone gets more mature in their thinking and skin deep beauty becomes less important. Or maybe that’s just me!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From the chat I've been having, the guys seem to quickly put me on a pedestal, too many compliments and how they'd pleasure my body but describe someone else's body, so I believe these guys have an image in their head I just couldn't live up to and wouldn't, but I'd hate to see their disappointment when they see reality. |
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Flip it in its head.
Do all us blokes look like Chris Helmsworth? With the rise of social media that sort of mindset certainly effects men as well.
You have the body you have. You can work on it in the gym or you can veg out on the couch.
You either find someone attractive or you don't. I'm not hung up on unrealistic standards and never have been. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, not something narrowly defined by pop culture icons, fashion or porn for example. |
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"From the chat I've been having, the guys seem to quickly put me on a pedestal, too many compliments and how they'd pleasure my body but describe someone else's body, so I believe these guys have an image in their head I just couldn't live up to and wouldn't, but I'd hate to see their disappointment when they see reality. "
I understand this  |
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By *anBerksMan
over a year ago
Berkshire |
"Flip it in its head.
Do all us blokes look like Chris Helmsworth? With the rise of social media that sort of mindset certainly effects men as well.
You have the body you have. You can work on it in the gym or you can veg out on the couch.
You either find someone attractive or you don't. I'm not hung up on unrealistic standards and never have been. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, not something narrowly defined by pop culture icons, fashion or porn for example."
there’s a LOT of women on Fab that demand handsome, tall, gym fit men.
No problem with that of course, they like what they like. But yeah, it’s a two-way issue for sure. It’s no longer just an expectation of women.  |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Wales |
I think there are those who definitely care, but also, happily, those who are more accepting and happy to embrace a woman however it is she rocks up to bed. Not because they’ve got no standards, but because they’ve been around the block a bit sexually and realise women come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, levels of hairiness.
Just as men do.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have one experience online, on social media, through reality tv and porn.
And a different experience in real life.
Then trust real life. True story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never expected women to look like porn stars, and to be honest that 'real' look is what I like - and increasingly so as I get older, my taste in women has broadened out - I don't expect a woman to have a flat stomach, or to be hairless from the neck down, or to have breasts so pert they look fake...Honestly, embrace your body and recognise how sexy it is - no-one is attractive to everyone, but you'll be attractive to more than you'd perhaps expect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From my experience they don't care as much as we do. I've learnt to accept when someone says that find me attractive, I used to obsess over my wobbly bits and stretch marks but it's not that deep. We all have insecurites men and women but when we are in that moment, we all need to leave them at the bedroom door. |
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I guess it depends on they "Type" men go for.
We are all different and all have different tastes. Some like skinny girls, some like Big girls and some like something in the middle.
I have a type and usually stick with what floats my boat.
Mike x
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"... That most women don't have airbrushed, hairless, pornstar type bodies?
Growing up, I definitely thought this is the way you needed to look if you wanted men to desire you sexually. I put it down to a combination of TV/film, porn, social media and just generally listening to my teenage/early twenties guy friends talk.
It was only when I reached my mid twenties that I started realising the guys I was sleeping with didn't seem bothered about my lumps and bumps, cellulite, hyperpigmentation, saggy boobs, massive nipppppwow this list is getting too long
Did your expectations of what women's bodies should look like change as you matured? Or have you just never cared? "
We definitely do care. Of course we do. Any guy who doesnt is the 'any port in a storm' kind of guy. Always remember that. Women are the same as well, just perhaps to slightly less degree and focus a little more on things such as his income and social/professional status.
Now when i say we care, that doesnt mean its pornstar or nothing, its a sliding scale. Most guys dont look for perfection but somewhere between that and dumpster fire |
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"Flip it in its head.
Do all us blokes look like Chris Helmsworth? With the rise of social media that sort of mindset certainly effects men as well.
You have the body you have. You can work on it in the gym or you can veg out on the couch.
You either find someone attractive or you don't. I'm not hung up on unrealistic standards and never have been. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, not something narrowly defined by pop culture icons, fashion or porn for example.
there’s a LOT of women on Fab that demand handsome, tall, gym fit men.
No problem with that of course, they like what they like. But yeah, it’s a two-way issue for sure. It’s no longer just an expectation of women. "
Those women can demand what they want. There are always going to be people who are not interested in whatever you as an individual have to offer. Happens in all.walks of life. From dating to jobs. From.freindships to hobbies.
Don't worry about it, don't lose any sleep over it and don't try to meet anyones standards but those you set for yourself. There's plenty out there who will take you as you are.
Fab is not really a good rule of thumb in the grand scheme of things. |
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"We definitely do care. Of course we do. Any guy who doesnt is the 'any port in a storm' kind of guy. Always remember that. Women are the same as well, just perhaps to slightly less degree and focus a little more on things such as his income and social/professional status.
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Thinking that everyone is the same is rarely accurate.
I care about lots of things; how someone treats others, whether they are sexy (which is little to do with how they look) and how much they want to lick my cock. But my idea of what’s attractive might be different to yours |
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Yes, when I was a teenager I only wanted to date conventionally beautiful girls, but I don't think it was porn that made me think that way...it was more my toxic entourage and peer pressure (I would literally get bullied by them if I suggested that a "chubby" girl was cute or pretty). So I spent my high-school years without a girlfriend because the girls I found attractive didn't find me attractive ( not that the rest of the girls found me attractive as I was the short skinny geek ) and it was only when I went to university and started to become more open minded and had genuine and more intimate conversations with girls that I started to shift my outlook...it was also at that point that I started going to the gym and realised that there are so many different people with different types of bodies just trying to better themselves- because let's be honest no one is born perfect... |
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By *arc83Man
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
I think guys get passed by because there size more than women.
But also the dad bod is in at the mo.
I like all shapes and sizes.
It's all about the look you know lock eyes and sparks look.
Confidence and owning it gets me looking |
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By *hirleyMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Firstly , no guy is ever gonna say that yeah they do care.
But do they? I'd say a high percentage does yeah. "
This is true, many blokes will reply to this even saying it doesn't matter when it does. However I'd say it's more the case that men have an ideal of what they like, not necessarily "porn star bodies" either, and don't stray far from that, but won't admit it to a woman, even if they're seeing them. |
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By *91kMan
over a year ago
Maidstone |
Not in the slightest, imperfections have character. It adds to their attractiveness as it makes a person unique
On the flip side though, I find that women tend to shy away if they have something they feel conscious about. One lady actually told me she wouldn't feel comfortable even though she found me attractive, because she would feel self conscious about the difference in our body types.
I do understand, but it sucks  |
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I know you asked men but… I had the same thoughts as you OP, I used to think that I always had to be slimmer, fitter, more toned etc than I was. Then I had kids which ruined my stomach and gradually my mindset has changed.
Sure, some men care, but most don’t and some even like my stretch marks and wobbly bits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s hard to answer this without offending someone but I like imperfections. Even the most “perfect” person will have them. Anything else I could say would upset someone so I’ll stop there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think loads of men care, but they won't admit it because they just want to fuck and they'll take whatever they can get.
But on the other hand, there are definitely men who don't care and would worship your body even if you don't fit into the usual beauty standards. I have a Twitter page and it's done wonders for my confidence. I was shocked to see there are men out there who genuinely love things like my belly, saggy tits and wobbly bits. I'm glad all men aren't the same. O.o |
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By *hirleyMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"It’s hard to answer this without offending someone but I like imperfections. Even the most “perfect” person will have them. Anything else I could say would upset someone so I’ll stop there."
I always live like that saying; beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
People get offended usually because you have an opinion that doesn't match theirs, so I wouldn't worry if you're upsetting someone that much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think loads of men care, but they won't admit it because they just want to fuck and they'll take whatever they can get.
But on the other hand, there are definitely men who don't care and would worship your body even if you don't fit into the usual beauty standards. I have a Twitter page and it's done wonders for my confidence. I was shocked to see there are men out there who genuinely love things like my belly, saggy tits and wobbly bits. I'm glad all men aren't the same. O.o "
I think the majority don’t care. A lot of it is acting that way for the “bros”. |
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By *ANDA!Man
over a year ago
DUMFRIES |
I've never cared. My first serious gf at 19 was a 25yo single mum who was fairly big and had one leg shorter than the other. Didn't bother me one bit cos I k ew as soon as her kid went to sleep her attention was on me 100% and she could have suck started a Harley. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Firstly , no guy is ever gonna say that yeah they do care.
But do they? I'd say a high percentage does yeah. "
I'm gonna ruin your theory I'm afraid.
Do I care how a woman's body looks, yes I do. It's a preference that I'd rather stick to or go without. I've been single for a long long time and more often than not nowadays, i go without.
We won't all fuck whoever/whatever might appear in front of us, though I agree that many men do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never cared. My first serious gf at 19 was a 25yo single mum who was fairly big and had one leg shorter than the other. Didn't bother me one bit cos I k ew as soon as her kid went to sleep her attention was on me 100% and she could have suck started a Harley. "
But she walked round in circles.
Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. |
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I have never been a fan of airbrushed, hairless, pornstar type bodies as you put it. I think in a way I have got more particular about what I like, it's just not what the media likes to portray. I like lumps and bumps and wobbly bits even more as I've got older. I like real people, not fantasies (Kelly Brook being an exception). I certainly don't do skinny now, personally. Luke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like soneone who cares about their appearance, looks neat and tidy and smells nice but physically I do not expect perfection, don't not mind stubbly legs or stubbly pubes. I can't expect a toned goddess when I look like a sausage roll, luckily I love all shapes and sizes.
I am not a big fan of lip fillers and things like that but that is a personal preference and not problem with people doing it. Natural is great to me. |
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"Firstly , no guy is ever gonna say that yeah they do care.
But do they? I'd say a high percentage does yeah.
I'm gonna ruin your theory I'm afraid.
Do I care how a woman's body looks, yes I do. It's a preference that I'd rather stick to or go without. I've been single for a long long time and more often than not nowadays, i go without.
We won't all fuck whoever/whatever might appear in front of us, though I agree that many men do. "
Love the honesty |
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By *ANDA!Man
over a year ago
DUMFRIES |
"I've never cared. My first serious gf at 19 was a 25yo single mum who was fairly big and had one leg shorter than the other. Didn't bother me one bit cos I k ew as soon as her kid went to sleep her attention was on me 100% and she could have suck started a Harley.
But she walked round in circles.
Sorry. I couldn’t help myself."
There was about a half in difference in her legs when I first met her, so the circles were big, a solid nudge to the right usually corrected her direction. After 6 months together she went for an op to fix things which went right the other way and ended with a near 2 inch deficit  |
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"I like soneone who cares about their appearance, looks neat and tidy and smells nice but physically I do not expect perfection, don't not mind stubbly legs or stubbly pubes. I can't expect a toned goddess when I look like a sausage roll, luckily I love all shapes and sizes.
I am not a big fan of lip fillers and things like that but that is a personal preference and not problem with people doing it. Natural is great to me. "
Apologies if this comes out wrong. However, if in the same sentence, you (the royal you) says you don't expect perfection, and next, say stubbly legs/pubes are fine, can you not see how women will assume that NON stubbly legs/pubes are therefore perfection? And perfection is desirable? So no shaved legs and bits are therefore needed for perfection. So we do what we understand is the perfection thing?
I've picked up on this example, but I don't want to make an example of the person who posted it. It might just be nuance of written language but I do know it's how brains might interpret. |
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It's always seemed to me that it's women who care far more than men do and/or have a total misconception of where men's priorities are in a woman are. Which I've always found both sad and frustrating. But so many women in my life have had hangups about their appearance I don't think are a thing, not bothered about and/or things that I actually love about them. So I know this is sadly very much the norm.
Although I think there is a factor especially in young male's of caring not so much about what they care about but more what their peers would say about a woman their with. When it's like that then that's their problem and not a desired character trait to entertain or try and appease.
Sadly also amongst mainly younger men there is increasing pressure and unhappiness about body image.
Mr |
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So glad as a woman I missed all the this is how u should look Phase.
It was only after having kids I was a little body conscious but that is natural.
Lots of women and young girls all look like their related these days with all the stuff they do to their bodies and dress the same.
I love a natural woman, someone who swears like a sailor, can have an amazing laugh, plays pool but loves that girly feminine side of her.
As women we don't need all this crap that covers our faces.
I wouldn't know a loo brush from an mascara brush haha.
Crazy fads hit and everyone dives on the trend.
Please ladies.. be yourself. X x
Kitten x x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Real women/ladies with the real life curves imperfections- or unique perfections in my opinion, these queens are all beautiful/sexy hot all in their own little way. Personality’s for part of this beauty. Bottoms up the these ladies own it more men than you think prefer it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not to be too cheesy but it's the imperfections that make someone perfect: who cares about stretch marks, wrinkles, spots, etc... at least it's real and shows a life has been lived.
Give me the realistic over the fantastical any day of the week. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know you asked men. But from a woman’s perspective, I wouldn’t want the perfect air brushed look, I like scars, imperfections, individuality xx"
Yes it's interesting you say this.
I was at the beach with a friend recently and we were surrounded by mostly young, slim women with super flat stomachs and pert boobs. My friend kept looking at them longingly saying things like "I want to look like that so bad" and "god, I wonder what life is like when you look like that" etc
Whereas I was more drawn to the bodies that had a bit extra about them. Curves, wobbly bits, scars, things that told a story.
I don't think there was anything wrong with being drawn to different bodies (although I do have to admit the comments idolising these women were starting to grate on me), but I just thought it was interesting that we all have our own ways of recognising beauty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love the female form. I guess i have a preferred shape and size but I don't want it to be perfect. I also really like women not wearing make up. Just plain and natural beauty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... That most women don't have airbrushed, hairless, pornstar type bodies?
Growing up, I definitely thought this is the way you needed to look if you wanted men to desire you sexually. I put it down to a combination of TV/film, porn, social media and just generally listening to my teenage/early twenties guy friends talk.
It was only when I reached my mid twenties that I started realising the guys I was sleeping with didn't seem bothered about my lumps and bumps, cellulite, hyperpigmentation, saggy boobs, massive nipppppwow this list is getting too long
Did your expectations of what women's bodies should look like change as you matured? Or have you just never cared? "
No never changed always loved the curvier lady’s always have always will  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love the female form. I guess i have a preferred shape and size but I don't want it to be perfect. I also really like women not wearing make up. Just plain and natural beauty. "
This makes me laugh because usually what most guys think is "no makeup" is actually still about 14 different types of cosmetics  |
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"... That most women don't have airbrushed, hairless, pornstar type bodies?
Growing up, I definitely thought this is the way you needed to look if you wanted men to desire you sexually. I put it down to a combination of TV/film, porn, social media and just generally listening to my teenage/early twenties guy friends talk.
It was only when I reached my mid twenties that I started realising the guys I was sleeping with didn't seem bothered about my lumps and bumps, cellulite, hyperpigmentation, saggy boobs, massive nipppppwow this list is getting too long
Did your expectations of what women's bodies should look like change as you matured? Or have you just never cared? "
I think guys are generally a lot less bothered than women think they are, especially about parts of their body women hate the most.
Maybe I'm weird but I like lumps and bumps, cellulite looks great going up and down, saggy boobs, all boobs are great, massive nippes yes please, and hairy is all good with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm curious how much of our 'preferences' come from within, and how much are shaped by society/personal experiences/religious ideologies/upbringing etc etc? "
Media and advertising have a lot to answer for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sexy is a state of mind, Not her body.
I appreciate her body simply because I think she is fucking sexy. But I did grow up with them etc so I’m aware what the publicly accepted perfect body should be. So why do I fancy the pants off women who are the opposite too? Amswer- because they are sexy.  |
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I never really cared to be honest. If I liked them as a person I found them attractive.
My biggest thing when growing up was worrying too much about what other people would say / think of anyone I dated. I missed out on being with some great people because of this.
But no never had an expectation of how someone should look. I always find it exciting that everyone is different. |
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"... That most women don't have airbrushed, hairless, pornstar type bodies?
Growing up, I definitely thought this is the way you needed to look if you wanted men to desire you sexually. I put it down to a combination of TV/film, porn, social media and just generally listening to my teenage/early twenties guy friends talk.
It was only when I reached my mid twenties that I started realising the guys I was sleeping with didn't seem bothered about my lumps and bumps, cellulite, hyperpigmentation, saggy boobs, massive nipppppwow this list is getting too long
Did your expectations of what women's bodies should look like change as you matured? Or have you just never cared? "
I've never really cared,,I've been with the 'body beautiful' and also with the 'bumps and curves ',what always really mattered is their personality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your grooming is your business as mine is mine if i really like a lass its warts n all (please not the genital kind if you can help it tho) but scars insecurities imperfections bit of leg bristle fur burger is only a small part of the story that is you whichever choice someone makes im much more interested in if the full story inspires me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That is actually what I am looking for. The opposite of what society tells us is pretty and sexy.
having said that I don’t want women who own two front gold teeth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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(M) I've always been drawn to 'real' looking women and it saddens me that lots of women these days have trout pouts, fillers, fake eye lashes and think that the TOWIE/footballers wife look is the ultimate look. It takes a tonne of make up to achieve this.
I have always preferred curves and a natural look. My partner looks sexiest to me when she gets out of bed in the morning without any make up on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That is actually what I am looking for. The opposite of what society tells us is pretty and sexy.
having said that I don’t want women who own two front gold teeth.
Are yellow ones ok? "
As long as they are real yes |
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"... That most women don't have airbrushed, hairless, pornstar type bodies? [...] Did your expectations of what women's bodies should look like change as you matured? Or have you just never cared? "
I don't give a fuck and never have. I feel dreadful about what women put themselves through in pursuit of the artificial, unobtainable "perfection" pushed by the beauty industry.
That's where it all comes from. If you can make people feel bad about themselves, you can sell them things the think will make them feel better. |
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"I'm curious how much of our 'preferences' come from within, and how much are shaped by society/personal experiences/religious ideologies/upbringing etc etc? "
It’s purely cultural. Look at the range of different “feminine ideals” depicted in art throughout the ages.
Furthermore, in the modern, consumerism-driven age, it changes *fast*. Compare the pale, stick-thin “heroin chic” ideal of the 90s with the orange-faced giant-fake-butt ideal of today.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not exactly what the OP asked but I think women are often far more critical of other women's bodies than a most men ever are."
I'd agree with this but it's probably because women are just more honest and not full of shit. |
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"Not exactly what the OP asked but I think women are often far more critical of other women's bodies than a most men ever are.
I'd agree with this but it's probably because women are just more honest and not full of shit. "
Disagree I think it's because we genuinely don't care and aren't that fussed. |
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Men & women definitely care, expectations change for sure especially as we mature in relationships.
I recently flipped this question to a female colleague.
Question was you have the opportunity for nsa fun
what’s your preference?
Dad bod great personality or ripped bod equally great personality
She was trying to be modest with the response ultimately ripped bod was the her choice
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not exactly what the OP asked but I think women are often far more critical of other women's bodies than a most men ever are.
I'd agree with this but it's probably because women are just more honest and not full of shit.
Disagree I think it's because we genuinely don't care and aren't that fussed. "
Yeah ok... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Genuinely never cared. And genuinely never had a type In regards to body shape, Dated every body shape there is. A pretty face is more important to me for attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not exactly what the OP asked but I think women are often far more critical of other women's bodies than a most men ever are.
I'd agree with this but it's probably because women are just more honest and not full of shit. "
Don't think I'd call it honesty necessarily. I think a lot of it is jealousy or insecurity. During the recent warm spell I was chatting to a friend at the school pick up. Another Mum, tall, lovely figure, was wearing very short shorts and walked past us. My friend was quick to point out it "wasn't the best look" because the woman had cellulite.
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"Men & women definitely care, expectations change for sure especially as we mature in relationships.
I recently flipped this question to a female colleague.
Question was you have the opportunity for nsa fun
what’s your preference?
Dad bod great personality or ripped bod equally great personality
She was trying to be modest with the response ultimately ripped bod was the her choice
Mr"
I honestly don’t think that’s the opinion of the majority of women though. You can see that from a lot of the threads on here. |
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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
Honestly I care.. Maybe an unpopular opinion, but hear me out.
I am attracted to slimmer women with curves, can't help it or wish to justify it. Y is perfect in every way.
BUT!! Eye candy is only the initial attraction, the demeanor and personality is the clincher, met plenty of 'stunners' but would've preferred to have admired from a distance when they opened their mouths or arrogance in their appearance shone through!
That's the problem with window shopping here, we like people and character will always be the deciding factor..
Sorry if I waffled.. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Not exactly what the OP asked but I think women are often far more critical of other women's bodies than a most men ever are.
I'd agree with this but it's probably because women are just more honest and not full of shit.
Don't think I'd call it honesty necessarily. I think a lot of it is jealousy or insecurity. During the recent warm spell I was chatting to a friend at the school pick up. Another Mum, tall, lovely figure, was wearing very short shorts and walked past us. My friend was quick to point out it "wasn't the best look" because the woman had cellulite.
"
Some women compare themselves so much, its not honesty, it’s obsession! can be a real turn off when someone is so obsessed with size and shape of their and other women bodies as it’s quite shallow and negative.
Most men really don’t care - face , personality, sex are all more important |
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"Men & women definitely care, expectations change for sure especially as we mature in relationships.
I recently flipped this question to a female colleague.
Question was you have the opportunity for nsa fun
what’s your preference?
Dad bod great personality or ripped bod equally great personality
She was trying to be modest with the response ultimately ripped bod was the her choice
Mr
I honestly don’t think that’s the opinion of the majority of women though. You can see that from a lot of the threads on here. "
Even if it is it doesn't mean she wouldn't do the dad bod the next day.
It's like food, eating the same thing everyday isn't fun. Having a fixed type is so restricting and I think boring. Variety is the spice of life. Exploring different people and bodies is far more interesting to me. |
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"Men & women definitely care, expectations change for sure especially as we mature in relationships.
I recently flipped this question to a female colleague.
Question was you have the opportunity for nsa fun
what’s your preference?
Dad bod great personality or ripped bod equally great personality
She was trying to be modest with the response ultimately ripped bod was the her choice
Mr
I honestly don’t think that’s the opinion of the majority of women though. You can see that from a lot of the threads on here. "
She did say if it was a relationship choice dad bod was the preference, I asked why her response was I wouldn’t feel secure within myself |
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I know this is for men but I also like women.
I don’t care about jiggly bits and hair. All that’s going through my head is ‘Omg I’m getting laid. She’s going to let me touch her vagina. She smells like spring. Best day ever’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm curious how much of our 'preferences' come from within, and how much are shaped by society/personal experiences/religious ideologies/upbringing etc etc?
It’s purely cultural. Look at the range of different “feminine ideals” depicted in art throughout the ages.
Furthermore, in the modern, consumerism-driven age, it changes *fast*. Compare the pale, stick-thin “heroin chic” ideal of the 90s with the orange-faced giant-fake-butt ideal of today.
"
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"I know this is for men but I also like women.
I don’t care about jiggly bits and hair. All that’s going through my head is ‘Omg I’m getting laid. She’s going to let me touch her vagina. She smells like spring. Best day ever’ "
Ditto |
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As long as people are happy in their own skin then its all good!
In an age where cosmetic enhancement is readily available, lots of men dislike this look (it does nothing for me either). But, I look at young girls around my daughters age (17/18) and the body diversity and acceptance is a million miles what it was when I was that age.
In high school, most of the girls in my year were slim - not much more than a size 8/10 - this was the norm and no one really gave much consideration to their body. There were probably 2 or 3 really large girls. They weren’t treated very nicely by boys and the mean lot! We also knew we didn’t want to be like them.
Move on 30 years and in my own experience, it’s changed for the better and people can be what they’re happy with. People aren’t as judgemental as they used to be.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think men and women, do care for a airbrushed model, male or female at least when they were younger suffering more with peer pressure. But as we mature (yes it does happen, very slowly in many ) our tastes vary more, we learn in many cases that such models don't necessarily exist, and genetics mean we look for better candidates to have children, generally speaking of course. We all have preferences. |
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By *hirleyMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
I understand this is aimed at how mens perception of a woman's body is, but to be honest, personally I find it very sexy to see more of a pot belly on a woman than a flat stomach, I've had partners insecure about it to start with and had to bring them around to the reality that I actually genuinely like to touch that part of a woman, probably more than any. But in any case, I'd never actually chase a woman because of her boobs legs ass or tum just for that attribute alone. Infact it's irrelevant to me.
The point is though this is how I look at the world. I am not bothered if others do care about what they see infront of them, because that's their attraction, they can't help that, and should be vilified for being drawn to physical attributes or certain things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand this is aimed at how mens perception of a woman's body is, but to be honest, personally I find it very sexy to see more of a pot belly on a woman than a flat stomach, I've had partners insecure about it to start with and had to bring them around to the reality that I actually genuinely like to touch that part of a woman, probably more than any. But in any case, I'd never actually chase a woman because of her boobs legs ass or tum just for that attribute alone. Infact it's irrelevant to me.
The point is though this is how I look at the world. I am not bothered if others do care about what they see infront of them, because that's their attraction, they can't help that, and should be vilified for being drawn to physical attributes or certain things. "
Well done.
You are gonna be drowning in pussy after they read this. |
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I've been thinking about this recently when watching the TV show Girls for the first time.
Out of the 4 female leads, Lena Dunham's character is both the least conventionally attractive in terms of body type and also the one who least corresponds to my own preferences (she has lots of tattoos). She is also the one I find most attractive, which I put down to her being funny, articulate and a hellcat between the sheets. |
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By *hirleyMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I understand this is aimed at how mens perception of a woman's body is, but to be honest, personally I find it very sexy to see more of a pot belly on a woman than a flat stomach, I've had partners insecure about it to start with and had to bring them around to the reality that I actually genuinely like to touch that part of a woman, probably more than any. But in any case, I'd never actually chase a woman because of her boobs legs ass or tum just for that attribute alone. Infact it's irrelevant to me.
The point is though this is how I look at the world. I am not bothered if others do care about what they see infront of them, because that's their attraction, they can't help that, and should be vilified for being drawn to physical attributes or certain things.
Well done.
You are gonna be drowning in pussy after they read this. "
If only ay...
Believe what you like though, I don't take anything to heart myself, prefer when people are up front, but I do just say exactly what I'm thinking usually, I've no filter and not excusing it because I know that's not for everyone. I never say anything here I wouldn't say in person. |
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I’ve been a lot fatter and a bit thinner - I’m much happier at my lightest (which hasn’t been for over a year) and that’s because everything is easier! Shopping is a pleasure because everything fits, I look & feel better.
It’s 100% for myself though |
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"I’ve been a lot fatter and a bit thinner - I’m much happier at my lightest (which hasn’t been for over a year) and that’s because everything is easier! Shopping is a pleasure because everything fits, I look & feel better.
It’s 100% for myself though"
•
I think this is the 'ray of sunshine' epilogue which encapsulates the spirit of this thread. Good for you! 
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"I’ve been a lot fatter and a bit thinner - I’m much happier at my lightest (which hasn’t been for over a year) and that’s because everything is easier! Shopping is a pleasure because everything fits, I look & feel better.
It’s 100% for myself though
•
I think this is the 'ray of sunshine' epilogue which encapsulates the spirit of this thread. Good for you!
"
I want to believe this is not a disingenuous response 
Hope you’re not patronising me |
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Thankfully, enough men are confident and happy enough to accept me for the person I am and to look beyond the unrealistic nonsense that much of the media has glorified. Its refreshing to be accepted for being you. Thanks guys  |
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"I’ve been a lot fatter and a bit thinner - I’m much happier at my lightest (which hasn’t been for over a year) and that’s because everything is easier! Shopping is a pleasure because everything fits, I look & feel better.
It’s 100% for myself though"
Yes totally. When I'm lighter I can put on any t-shirt, I'm at my heaviest now and I have to put about 5 on before I find one that fits! |
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"I’ve been a lot fatter and a bit thinner - I’m much happier at my lightest (which hasn’t been for over a year) and that’s because everything is easier! Shopping is a pleasure because everything fits, I look & feel better.
It’s 100% for myself though
Yes totally. When I'm lighter I can put on any t-shirt, I'm at my heaviest now and I have to put about 5 on before I find one that fits! "
Just don’t wear them all at once that’ll add pounds !! |
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"As long as people are happy in their own skin then its all good!
In an age where cosmetic enhancement is readily available, lots of men dislike this look (it does nothing for me either). But, I look at young girls around my daughters age (17/18) and the body diversity and acceptance is a million miles what it was when I was that age.
In high school, most of the girls in my year were slim - not much more than a size 8/10 - this was the norm and no one really gave much consideration to their body. There were probably 2 or 3 really large girls. They weren’t treated very nicely by boys and the mean lot! We also knew we didn’t want to be like them.
Move on 30 years and in my own experience, it’s changed for the better and people can be what they’re happy with. People aren’t as judgemental as they used to be.
"
I was one of those chubby girls at school. One lad who I quite liked (and I since found out, he liked me) chose not to speak to me for a whole year because he didn't want to be seen to fancy the chubby girl. I did pretty much every sport available at school - hockey rounders, tennis, netball and athletics. I trained with the local athletics club for discus and competed at county level. But I was still chubby and still am! I've had to accept I will never be slim and just try and make the best of what I have. The best I have is pretty jiggly..... |
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"As long as people are happy in their own skin then its all good!
In an age where cosmetic enhancement is readily available, lots of men dislike this look (it does nothing for me either). But, I look at young girls around my daughters age (17/18) and the body diversity and acceptance is a million miles what it was when I was that age.
In high school, most of the girls in my year were slim - not much more than a size 8/10 - this was the norm and no one really gave much consideration to their body. There were probably 2 or 3 really large girls. They weren’t treated very nicely by boys and the mean lot! We also knew we didn’t want to be like them.
Move on 30 years and in my own experience, it’s changed for the better and people can be what they’re happy with. People aren’t as judgemental as they used to be.
I was one of those chubby girls at school. One lad who I quite liked (and I since found out, he liked me) chose not to speak to me for a whole year because he didn't want to be seen to fancy the chubby girl. I did pretty much every sport available at school - hockey rounders, tennis, netball and athletics. I trained with the local athletics club for discus and competed at county level. But I was still chubby and still am! I've had to accept I will never be slim and just try and make the best of what I have. The best I have is pretty jiggly....."
I didn’t get much action because I was crap at sports and completely flat chested 
Or was it the perm? Or the braces
Do you think things have changed for the better? For example, my daughter was horrified that children with ginger hair were called names! Sorry, I know it’s a bit off topic |
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"As long as people are happy in their own skin then its all good!
In an age where cosmetic enhancement is readily available, lots of men dislike this look (it does nothing for me either). But, I look at young girls around my daughters age (17/18) and the body diversity and acceptance is a million miles what it was when I was that age.
In high school, most of the girls in my year were slim - not much more than a size 8/10 - this was the norm and no one really gave much consideration to their body. There were probably 2 or 3 really large girls. They weren’t treated very nicely by boys and the mean lot! We also knew we didn’t want to be like them.
Move on 30 years and in my own experience, it’s changed for the better and people can be what they’re happy with. People aren’t as judgemental as they used to be.
I was one of those chubby girls at school. One lad who I quite liked (and I since found out, he liked me) chose not to speak to me for a whole year because he didn't want to be seen to fancy the chubby girl. I did pretty much every sport available at school - hockey rounders, tennis, netball and athletics. I trained with the local athletics club for discus and competed at county level. But I was still chubby and still am! I've had to accept I will never be slim and just try and make the best of what I have. The best I have is pretty jiggly.....
I didn’t get much action because I was crap at sports and completely flat chested
Or was it the perm? Or the braces
Do you think things have changed for the better? For example, my daughter was horrified that children with ginger hair were called names! Sorry, I know it’s a bit off topic "
My son's age group (20) seems a lot less hung up on appearances. His girlfriend is a very curvy, definitely not conventionally slim young lady - she's incredibly confident in her body and appearance and it's really refreshing to see. I wish I'd felt as confident as her at that age. His friends are a multicoloured, myriad array of different young people and they all seem to get along famously.
Mr KC was mercilessly picked on at school because he was so slim, not muscly and didn't like PE. It seemed at school like there was a narrow range of what was considered aesthetically pleasing and outside that, you were fair game to be picked on. |
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"I'm curious how much of our 'preferences' come from within, and how much are shaped by society/personal experiences/religious ideologies/upbringing etc etc? "
I'd say that a massive % is based on external influences. Certainly 30+years ago there were few positive fat role models for women that I can recall.
You could be the fat funny one, but that was it. |
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"As long as people are happy in their own skin then its all good!
In an age where cosmetic enhancement is readily available, lots of men dislike this look (it does nothing for me either). But, I look at young girls around my daughters age (17/18) and the body diversity and acceptance is a million miles what it was when I was that age.
In high school, most of the girls in my year were slim - not much more than a size 8/10 - this was the norm and no one really gave much consideration to their body. There were probably 2 or 3 really large girls. They weren’t treated very nicely by boys and the mean lot! We also knew we didn’t want to be like them.
Move on 30 years and in my own experience, it’s changed for the better and people can be what they’re happy with. People aren’t as judgemental as they used to be.
I was one of those chubby girls at school. One lad who I quite liked (and I since found out, he liked me) chose not to speak to me for a whole year because he didn't want to be seen to fancy the chubby girl. I did pretty much every sport available at school - hockey rounders, tennis, netball and athletics. I trained with the local athletics club for discus and competed at county level. But I was still chubby and still am! I've had to accept I will never be slim and just try and make the best of what I have. The best I have is pretty jiggly.....
I didn’t get much action because I was crap at sports and completely flat chested
Or was it the perm? Or the braces
Do you think things have changed for the better? For example, my daughter was horrified that children with ginger hair were called names! Sorry, I know it’s a bit off topic
My son's age group (20) seems a lot less hung up on appearances. His girlfriend is a very curvy, definitely not conventionally slim young lady - she's incredibly confident in her body and appearance and it's really refreshing to see. I wish I'd felt as confident as her at that age. His friends are a multicoloured, myriad array of different young people and they all seem to get along famously.
Mr KC was mercilessly picked on at school because he was so slim, not muscly and didn't like PE. It seemed at school like there was a narrow range of what was considered aesthetically pleasing and outside that, you were fair game to be picked on. "
I’d agree they’re happy to embrace what they have and what they are much more these days.
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"I certainly suffer with boob envy. As a size 22 woman with small tits, I really crave being able to have a good rack. It's not fair.
Off topic I know. Sorry."
You don’t have small boobs I was a bra stuffer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... That most women don't have airbrushed, hairless, pornstar type bodies?"
I will be brutally honest I care but the opposite way around! Find it a little bit off putting in a Barbie kind of way
Im not keen of that horrible Towie plastic/pumped look either its hideous and its sad to see some of the ladies I have known that have had natural beauty only to dye themselves orange and look like they are having some kind of alergic reaction before travelling on a thick layer of makeup and now look really Fake
Some can be blessed with natural beauty but it's only a small factor, personally, attitude and many other things play into what I find attractive in a person.
Natural variation is beauty in my mind.
Mr F. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife's body changes regularly from a size 10 to a size 12, she doesn't particularly like her body when it's around a size 12sh or slightly bigger.
Me on the other hand loves the way she looks whatever size she is.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have felt so yes,certainly when I was younger I wanted exactly what you were saying leading to a few regrettable decisions.Where I may have tried with people that on reflection I didn't like at all.
I would agree on the tv and film but I think social media and our desire for perfect people is probably the biggest driver as we like to operate at a divide from others forgetting that they are human beings same as us.
Overall yes I started to care a lot less about the body and more about the human being behind it,sounds cheesy but it is what it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have felt so yes,certainly when I was younger I wanted exactly what you were saying leading to a few regrettable decisions.Where I may have tried with people that on reflection I didn't like at all.
I would agree on the tv and film but I think social media and our desire for perfect people is probably the biggest driver as we like to operate at a divide from others forgetting that they are human beings same as us.
Overall yes I started to care a lot less about the body and more about the human being behind it,sounds cheesy but it is what it is."
was what it was?,is what it shall be?, the as its then?
perfect people what was I on?
I'm terrible at grammar |
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"... That most women don't have airbrushed, hairless, pornstar type bodies?
Growing up, I definitely thought this is the way you needed to look if you wanted men to desire you sexually. I put it down to a combination of TV/film, porn, social media and just generally listening to my teenage/early twenties guy friends talk.
It was only when I reached my mid twenties that I started realising the guys I was sleeping with didn't seem bothered about my lumps and bumps, cellulite, hyperpigmentation, saggy boobs, massive nipppppwow this list is getting too long
Did your expectations of what women's bodies should look like change as you matured? Or have you just never cared? "
Mr here: Couldn’t give a shit. If I think you’re fit, you’re fit. Regardless of what the medias perceived idea of beauty is.
To quote my boudoir photography website:
‘You’re beautiful, just as you are.’ |
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Porn is for wanking and so much more now is real looking / reflective with the huge rise of indie content creators vs pro studios churning out gloss
Real life is real life and I think most normal mental minded persons know the differences of this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Porn is for wanking and so much more now is real looking / reflective with the huge rise of indie content creators vs pro studios churning out gloss
Real life is real life and I think most normal mental minded persons know the differences of this "
I agree; I was just wondering whether people went through a process of realising this as they became more mature |
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