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The Closeness of Fab FWBs / Friends
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Many of us on Fab have, quite possibly, acquired an array of friends, lovers, paramours, acquaintances, buddies and contacts.
For me personally I hold all of mine in equal regard and respect. However there is another level to which my friends naturally fall into. There are those with whom I can confide in and expect the same openness and candour and thus know pretty much everything about one another.
And then there are those who are on a deeper level of connection from a physical, tactile and emotional perspective; although not necessarily know everything about me. Finally there are those less granular and we co-exist for the laughs, the socials and/or some 'less intensive' fun. I also expect my friendships to move between levels of closeness, familiarity and bonding, including the dissipation or mutual estrangement for whatever reason.
Are you the same? Is there a natural order and level of friendship that has developed over time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have 3 categories
My longterm partners who know everything about me
My 3 close friends on fab who know everything about me
Everyone else knows what I want them to know about me "
Great. Now I’m going to cry into a pillow. |
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"I have 3 categories
My longterm partners who know everything about me
My 3 close friends on fab who know everything about me
Everyone else knows what I want them to know about me
Great. Now I’m going to cry into a pillow. "
Are you referring to my pillowy boobs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From fab I have probably one handful of friends that I’d consider real life friends and would be there for whenever they need me. Two in particular stand out even though I don’t speak to them all the time.
Everyone else on my friends list I think I care a lot about. Would tell them about my life. My real name. Even my job. Go for a drink etc.
People I’ve been with intimately with fab I suppose know a great deal about me. I’d consider them friends. They’re lovely too.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have 3 categories
My longterm partners who know everything about me
My 3 close friends on fab who know everything about me
Everyone else knows what I want them to know about me
Great. Now I’m going to cry into a pillow.
Are you referring to my pillowy boobs "
Yeah. I wish.   |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
My long term FWB who I met on here knows everything about me. We talk about absolutely everything and that includes our respective families, jobs, etc. We are very close. 
Apart from him, I have other Fab friends and I am a pretty open person anyway, so I enjoy their company when I can- haven’t been able for most of this year because of work. 
I have met amazing people here who make great friends.  |
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My circle outside of fab is small and within, smaller still.
I have some very good friends I met through here that are no longer on the site for various reasons.
I have a very close friend and current fabber that I trust implicitly with everything both here and beyond.
There are others I chat to on a regular or semi regular basis but we know little of each others lives outside of fab.
Beyond that there is nothing.
Unfortunately I don't subscribe to the fab friends are fab theory and have found to my cost that a tenuous friendship based simply on being members of the site is often abused by those who use those friendships as currency. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I became close to one person on here that would know my life very very well. A friend, absolutely.
I’m a bloody good and loyal friend, it’s hard to find that type of friendship on here right now.
But I have, and do get along with people. Some are more likely to drift of into the acquaintances circle while others I would hope become closer. |
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"My circle outside of fab is small and within, smaller still.
I have some very good friends I met through here that are no longer on the site for various reasons.
I have a very close friend and current fabber that I trust implicitly with everything both here and beyond.
There are others I chat to on a regular or semi regular basis but we know little of each others lives outside of fab.
Beyond that there is nothing.
Unfortunately I don't subscribe to the fab friends are fab theory and have found to my cost that a tenuous friendship based simply on being members of the site is often abused by those who use those friendships as currency. "
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Hence why I consciously didn't mention the "Fab Friends" part of this: it's extraneous to my 'theorem'. But I get your point, Mr. Bites. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a list of TOP TEN FORUMITES that I compile in secret and update every Sunday.
They self identify on forum threads. "
The algorithm is getting too complicated. Even I don't understand it anymore.
It's a bit like the film Tron.
In that it's a bit shit. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I think so. I think most people have that, it'd be quite exhausting to maintain a high level of friendship with every person. Plus; you wouldn't want to, would you?
Anyway, yes. I have some very close friends who I adore and love. Other friends who I adore. Different levels of honesty. I think I might have one person from Fab I would tell anything to. If they asked. Or I waffled. I value the friendships with people wherever I meet them.
Nothing lasts forever, humans are constantly changing so it makes sense relationships will or they'll come to an end. |
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"I'm not friends with anyone on here  "
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Don't worry. It takes time. Give it another year and you'll be able to shake hands with a few. And a year after that - you might get to go "ooh la la" and the world's your oyster.  |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Yup
I’ve met men here that I have loved deeply for a time. I’ve got loads of different sorts of friend relationships that are hard to define. Some are sexual some of the time or maybe not at all. I used to try to label these relationships but I don’t anymore.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always found friendships difficult to navigate in RL and it's no different here on Fab. Apart from my partner, who I met on here, I have one good friend from Fab that I would trust with my worst self. Us both being neurodivergant helps, so they don't mind if I'm "too much" sometimes. With other people, including those I've met sexually, I'm rubbish at gauging things like how much someone likes me, whether they're replying to be polite or if they really value my company and contact, if contact is too much/not enough etc. and as a result I tend to let things peter out because I worry I'm being annoying. I suppose my hierarchy is "all or nothing", which saddens me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have friends and acquaintances here just like in real life. I have made some amazing friends on here and their friendship has helped me learn a lot about myself
Than theres people I just enjoy chatting to and having the crack with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a funny old place here, the very open nature of it allowing discussions that might not naturally be shared with vanilla folk.
That in itself, can give the illusion of depth by virtue of perceived rarity.
Also the disposable nature of online relationships fosters a level of openness not naturally shared in the real, given the separation from the players so to speak.
Thing is, life is about crossing paths with all kinds and sharing moments and connections, they might last, probably won't. I think its about having the grace to enjoy things for what they are at the time, and if the paths don't cross again for whatever reason, hold onto that positive interaction you shared without bitterness that it's ended.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have nor have had a FWB from here. Yet. But I have a FWB who knows me very well.
Most people here whom I have chatted with - it's fairly superficial. Banter. Occasionally it goes deeper. But there is a handful of people, all men strangely enough, whom I am very open with.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've always found friendships difficult to navigate in RL and it's no different here on Fab. Apart from my partner, who I met on here, I have one good friend from Fab that I would trust with my worst self. Us both being neurodivergant helps, so they don't mind if I'm "too much" sometimes. With other people, including those I've met sexually, I'm rubbish at gauging things like how much someone likes me, whether they're replying to be polite or if they really value my company and contact, if contact is too much/not enough etc. and as a result I tend to let things peter out because I worry I'm being annoying. I suppose my hierarchy is "all or nothing", which saddens me."
Oh i can see myself reflected in what you said x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've always found friendships difficult to navigate in RL and it's no different here on Fab. Apart from my partner, who I met on here, I have one good friend from Fab that I would trust with my worst self. Us both being neurodivergant helps, so they don't mind if I'm "too much" sometimes. With other people, including those I've met sexually, I'm rubbish at gauging things like how much someone likes me, whether they're replying to be polite or if they really value my company and contact, if contact is too much/not enough etc. and as a result I tend to let things peter out because I worry I'm being annoying. I suppose my hierarchy is "all or nothing", which saddens me.
Oh i can see myself reflected in what you said x"
It's so complicated  |
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"Loyalty and the test of time is the most important thing to me I sometimes ask a new partner how long they have known their closest friends "
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That's not a bad approach. It's a great indicator to weigh up how much 'emotional investment' one is prepared to make (with a prospective new 'partner'). |
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Made a very good male FWB from here and we basically know the basic in and outs of our own personal lives and we now share almost everything together .. I would say about another 4ish some I have never met (yet) but enjoy the banter that we give each other and chat away from fab by other means .sometimes it’s not just about a fuck but friendships too and having a laugh with people you connect with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had a couple of fwbs over the years and had close connections but no longer in touch really. They were either married or they were single and are now in relationships. Everyone has moved on in one way or another and the friendships were just temporary. I try to keep an emotional distance with the people I meet now. |
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