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What makes you feel attractive?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I feel happy when I look in the mirror, I feel happy when I see myself in photos. I don't need validation from strangers but it's nice to receive compliments from people. I do like my nearest and dearest to appreciate me. No woman is an island

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

Nothing does

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Happy? Not really. I see an ageing man in middle age. More grey than ever. More wrinkles than ever.

But I’m ok with it. As I get older the less fucks I give about it and what other people think.

So it’s ok. I’m cool with it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd say, for me, it's more about my frame of mind at any given point in time...rather than how I actually look...

Sometimes I feel at my most attractive first thing in the morning, natural, no makeup, messy hair...more so than when I've spent time on makeup, hair, dress and shoes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I look ugly. I hate the way I look. Body and face. And I rely heavily on the validation of others. One of my love languages is words of affirmation. I’m a big words of affirmation guy.

I have low self esteem and pretty bad anxiety though tbf. Therapy is helping but I still struggle.

It is what it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope im not happy with how I look and I know I never will but at this point in my life I'm okay with that. Validation from others does nothing for me, a negative mind set is hard to shift once it takes hold on your confidence.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Happy? Not really. I see an ageing man in middle age. More grey than ever. More wrinkles than ever.

But I’m ok with it. As I get older the less fucks I give about it and what other people think.

So it’s ok. I’m cool with it

Same as that

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By *luebell888Woman over a year ago

Glasgowish

I just feel lucky to be alive and healthy. Working full time nightshift for 25years has taken its toll but I still scrub up well when need be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I feel happy when I look in the mirror, I feel happy when I see myself in photos. I don't need validation from strangers but it's nice to receive compliments from people. I do like my nearest and dearest to appreciate me. No woman is an island "

Sounds great! Have you always felt happy when you looked in the mirror?

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

"I think I look ugly. I hate the way I look. Body and face. And I rely heavily on the validation of others. One of my love languages is words of affirmation. I’m a big words of affirmation guy.

I have low self esteem and pretty bad anxiety though tbf. Therapy is helping but I still struggle.

It is what it is. "

We should meet up some time

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nothing does"

Sorry to hear that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It depends a lot on my mood most of the time, if Im miserable I feel fat and ugly but if im happy I feel fairly good about myself. Ok I’ve got wobbly bits that I wish I didn’t but some days it’s more bearable than others.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

"Nothing does

Sorry to hear that

It is what it is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think I look ugly. I hate the way I look. Body and face. And I rely heavily on the validation of others. One of my love languages is words of affirmation. I’m a big words of affirmation guy.

I have low self esteem and pretty bad anxiety though tbf. Therapy is helping but I still struggle.

It is what it is.

We should meet up some time"

That’s what I think whenever I read you.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

"I think I look ugly. I hate the way I look. Body and face. And I rely heavily on the validation of others. One of my love languages is words of affirmation. I’m a big words of affirmation guy.

I have low self esteem and pretty bad anxiety though tbf. Therapy is helping but I still struggle.

It is what it is.

We should meet up some time

That’s what I think whenever I read you. "

Well you only have to say buddy. I'm not going to that london though

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By *ouple4PlayXCouple over a year ago

Essex

When I look at my wife her body is absolutly stunning, even if she may not agree.

Even better to see the comments from guys backing me up.

Inside she's everything I could ask for!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Sounds great! Have you always felt happy when you looked in the mirror? "

I think so yes. Obviously I have times when I look and think 'who got her ready?'

. Also as I get older I notice changes but overall I'm happy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Happy? Not really. I see an ageing man in middle age. More grey than ever. More wrinkles than ever.

But I’m ok with it. As I get older the less fucks I give about it and what other people think.

So it’s ok. I’m cool with it

It IS easier to give less fucks - I do like that about ageing. Accepting growing older is tricky for many people. Me included.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

I think I look young for my age

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Freshly showered and dressed nice makes me feel good. I wouldn't say it makes me feel attractive. I'll find my sexy self in that way but it's not based on how I look it's based on how I feel.

I hate my face in photos and mirrors and like to avoid them for that reason.

For a 44 year old that's had a good few kids I'm happy with body in the mirror but can pick holes like anyone can, but I know it could have been very different.

Validation... No, I really don't need that. I am who and what I am and that's it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think I look ugly. I hate the way I look. Body and face. And I rely heavily on the validation of others. One of my love languages is words of affirmation. I’m a big words of affirmation guy.

I have low self esteem and pretty bad anxiety though tbf. Therapy is helping but I still struggle.

It is what it is. "

So saying that I think you have a gorgeous smile would give you a lift for a few mins? But then do you doubt the comment? Or do you accept the compliment?

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By *ecret-64Couple over a year ago

Wrexham

Stockings, the putting of them on and walking into pub with them on, just feels so sexy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd say, for me, it's more about my frame of mind at any given point in time...rather than how I actually look...

Sometimes I feel at my most attractive first thing in the morning, natural, no makeup, messy hair...more so than when I've spent time on makeup, hair, dress and shoes

I so relate to that. I feel a crappy parent today, so I see ugly when I look in the mirror. And maybe when you wake up you're feeling good about the world and then...good about yourself?

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By *urora1912Woman over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

Lingerie makes me feel good but I hate the way my body looks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't like the way I look i hate having my pic taken. But I do feel just a tad better with longer nails, more womanly as I have chubby fingers lol

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By *ellinever70Woman over a year ago

Ayrshire

Like most folks (I imagine), there are times when I look in the mirror and think 'you'll do. It's not really based on anything external. How do we gauge that anyway?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nope im not happy with how I look and I know I never will but at this point in my life I'm okay with that. Validation from others does nothing for me, a negative mind set is hard to shift once it takes hold on your confidence."

It's all about the mindset I guess. The hardest thing to change.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never happy with how I look.

Validation from others? Actually makes it worse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sounds great! Have you always felt happy when you looked in the mirror?

I think so yes. Obviously I have times when I look and think 'who got her ready?'

. Also as I get older I notice changes but overall I'm happy "

I'd like to get where you are. Sounds a good place to be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It really depends. At the moment, my anxiety is pretty bad. I've had it under control for the last 8 months, but it's reared it's ugly head. It affects my confidence and the way I see myself. At the moment, I see an out of shape, bald, wrinkled, grey bearded, middle aged man. When my anxiety isn't here, I'm really confident in myself. Accept my flaws, in fact I embrace them and wouldn't change them and I appreciate my good features. I know I'm not the best looking bloke, but nor do I want to be when I'm in my pomp. At this time, I'm feeling a little sorry for myself (for no particular reason) so I feel ugly.

When I'm good, I don't give two fucks and quite like the way I look.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your body is simply stunning x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Like most folks (I imagine), there are times when I look in the mirror and think 'you'll do. It's not really based on anything external. How do we gauge that anyway?"

I see people gauging it in all sorts of ways. Being being compliments. Looks. Wolf whistles. Likes on Instagram. Fabs on here. I think a lot of people use external validation to shore up their self-doubt that they are attractive to others.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think I look ugly. I hate the way I look. Body and face. And I rely heavily on the validation of others. One of my love languages is words of affirmation. I’m a big words of affirmation guy.

I have low self esteem and pretty bad anxiety though tbf. Therapy is helping but I still struggle.

It is what it is.

So saying that I think you have a gorgeous smile would give you a lift for a few mins? But then do you doubt the comment? Or do you accept the compliment? "

Depends. I mean if I think someone meant it genuinely it would make me happy to know. But equally I don’t think a nice smile makes me or anyone attractive. But if someone says I’m attractive I usually accept but doubt the compliment at first until it feels consistent enough to be true. Then I just believe them and think they’re in the minority. It’s a common cycle I think

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By *luebell888Woman over a year ago

Glasgowish

"It really depends. At the moment, my anxiety is pretty bad. I've had it under control for the last 8 months, but it's reared it's ugly head. It affects my confidence and the way I see myself. At the moment, I see an out of shape, bald, wrinkled, grey bearded, middle aged man. When my anxiety isn't here, I'm really confident in myself. Accept my flaws, in fact I embrace them and wouldn't change them and I appreciate my good features. I know I'm not the best looking bloke, but nor do I want to be when I'm in my pomp. At this time, I'm feeling a little sorry for myself (for no particular reason) so I feel ugly.

When I'm good, I don't give two fucks and quite like the way I look. "

Chin up, you look fine to me. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think I look ugly. I hate the way I look. Body and face. And I rely heavily on the validation of others. One of my love languages is words of affirmation. I’m a big words of affirmation guy.

I have low self esteem and pretty bad anxiety though tbf. Therapy is helping but I still struggle.

It is what it is.

So saying that I think you have a gorgeous smile would give you a lift for a few mins? But then do you doubt the comment? Or do you accept the compliment?

You don't think a nice smile makes someone attractive? It's something that many people do value and appreciate when they're looking for someone they fancy. I have a crappy smile. I make up for it with cleavage.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Sounds great! Have you always felt happy when you looked in the mirror?

I think so yes. Obviously I have times when I look and think 'who got her ready?'

. Also as I get older I notice changes but overall I'm happy

I'd like to get where you are. Sounds a good place to be.

I don't actively think about it really and I've never compared myself unfavourably to other people. I wonder if that came from being the only girl in a house full of boys growing up

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"When I look at my wife her body is absolutly stunning, even if she may not agree.

Even better to see the comments from guys backing me up.

Inside she's everything I could ask for! "

But what about you?

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By *avie65Man over a year ago

In the west.

I've been training for a while now and my body shape has change. I know it sounds vain but I like to stand naked in front of a full length mirror and see the different or when I m wearing well fitting clothes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sounds great! Have you always felt happy when you looked in the mirror?

I think so yes. Obviously I have times when I look and think 'who got her ready?'

. Also as I get older I notice changes but overall I'm happy

I'd like to get where you are. Sounds a good place to be.

I don't actively think about it really and I've never compared myself unfavourably to other people. I wonder if that came from being the only girl in a house full of boys growing up"

Some people just seem to grow up with a positive mindset. I'm sure parenting must have a lot to do with it. I think I've failed my kids there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm happy with how I look.

Some days I look terrible, some days I look good, most days are in-between.

On the whole, I like how I look.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How I feel about my appearance is changeable. Some days I think "ooft! you'd get it, Nell!". Other days I feel drab and old. It mostly depends on how tired I am and if I've been eating right, because a shit diet makes me anxious and lethargic all at the same time. Compliments are nice, but don't really have much bearing on how I feel about myself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So saying that I think you have a gorgeous smile would give you a lift for a few mins? But then do you doubt the comment? Or do you accept the compliment?

I think a nice smile is a quality many attractive people possess but not a quality on its own that makes someone attractive. If that makes sense

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By *orbidden eastMan over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

The smirk I give myself. The amount of hardship I’ve been through and I am still here.

And of course the funny tan lines I have

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How I feel about my appearance is changeable. Some days I think "ooft! you'd get it, Nell!". Other days I feel drab and old. It mostly depends on how tired I am and if I've been eating right, because a shit diet makes me anxious and lethargic all at the same time. Compliments are nice, but don't really have much bearing on how I feel about myself. "

Agree with that. I like to try and look after myself. Eat well, exercise, sleep properly and I find if I break one of my good habits, then another will go, then another. It becomes, self perpetuating, my mood lowers, which in turn, means I start more bad habits. Comfort eating, less exercise, drinking more, which then effects my anxiety and mood, then I don't like what I see in the mirror. I'm lucky knowing though, it's only temporary, as I do always snap out of it eventually.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

A Waitrose paper bag, over my head.

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By *exyangietgirlTV/TS over a year ago

edinburgh

Once I've got my lipstick on as the finishing touch to my make up. XX

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Sounds great! Have you always felt happy when you looked in the mirror?

I think so yes. Obviously I have times when I look and think 'who got her ready?'

. Also as I get older I notice changes but overall I'm happy

I'd like to get where you are. Sounds a good place to be.

I don't actively think about it really and I've never compared myself unfavourably to other people. I wonder if that came from being the only girl in a house full of boys growing up

Some people just seem to grow up with a positive mindset. I'm sure parenting must have a lot to do with it. I think I've failed my kids there. "

My mum had a poor body image and a mild eating disorder I think she tried really hard not to pass that on to me.

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By *oxesMan over a year ago

Southend, Essex

I'm the same im not worried about the way I look but then I know when I don't feel in shape (had a break from training feel like your abs have disappeared). And of course like any man we want our down belows to be couple of inches longer or an inch girthyer.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

How do you feel op?

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By *ubal1Man over a year ago

Newry Down

I am not an avid devotee of haute couture or fast fashion, and generally do not dress to impress; but when I occasionally treat myself to something really special, as I did today, it usually brings a smile to my face.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never happy with how I look.

Validation from others? Actually makes it worse.

Clip clop, clip clop here’s a white knight in his trusty steed to rescue this fair maiden … actually you’re alright tbf.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I'm good, I don't give two fucks and quite like the way I look.

Chin up, you look fine to me. x"

Thanks. I know it's a temporary state of mind for me, so I don't fret too much about it.

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By *ixedDevilMan over a year ago

Bootyville

[Removed by poster at 19/08/22 22:25:33]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've been training for a while now and my body shape has change. I know it sounds vain but I like to stand naked in front of a full length mirror and see the different or when I m wearing well fitting clothes. "

That's the thing - it's not vain to appreciate the work you've put in and the results. But the British way is to be self-derogatory...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So saying that I think you have a gorgeous smile would give you a lift for a few mins? But then do you doubt the comment? Or do you accept the compliment?

I think a nice smile is a quality many attractive people possess but not a quality on its own that makes someone attractive. If that makes sense "

Steve, I think you talk yourself out of feeling attractive. And I say that with

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Look in mirror

Never like what I see

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By *avie65Man over a year ago

In the west.

That's the thing - it's not vain to appreciate the work you've put in and the results. But the British way is to be self-derogatory..."

That is a very British thing. And I enjoy the training.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups"

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive? "

I can look in the mirror and think I look okay, but nothing beats that external validation of someone else finding you attractive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So saying that I think you have a gorgeous smile would give you a lift for a few mins? But then do you doubt the comment? Or do you accept the compliment?

I think a nice smile is a quality many attractive people possess but not a quality on its own that makes someone attractive. If that makes sense

Steve, I think you talk yourself out of feeling attractive. And I say that with

Probably but it is what it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is. "

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When I'm good, I don't give two fucks and quite like the way I look. "

Anxiety is a fucker! I hope it eases up soon.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I have never felt attractive as such. I am not conventionally attractive for starters, and my family were never one for dishing out compliments. My body is a bit of a wreck from gaining weight/losing weight/gaining weight etc and pregnancies so I don’t really linger in a long length mirror.

Nowadays my eyesight requires me to use a magnifying mirror just to put makeup on - which can be a bit hit and miss.

But it is what it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bright pink or red lippy always helps me feel amazing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t take compliments well. I acknowledge them and thank people but I don’t really believe it.

I do have days when I’m just feeling myself though. I don’t know what causes it but I can have days/weeks when I like what I see in the mirror but on the flip side I have days/weeks when I really don’t like what I see.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have never felt attractive as such. I am not conventionally attractive for starters, and my family were never one for dishing out compliments. My body is a bit of a wreck from gaining weight/losing weight/gaining weight etc and pregnancies so I don’t really linger in a long length mirror.

Nowadays my eyesight requires me to use a magnifying mirror just to put makeup on - which can be a bit hit and miss.

But it is what it is.

To be honest you look pretty good to me for what its worth

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I am not an avid devotee of haute couture or fast fashion, and generally do not dress to impress; but when I occasionally treat myself to something really special, as I did today, it usually brings a smile to my face."

I am glad to hear it. I do forget that clothes can help sometimes!

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine. "

I've always kind of resented my sex drive. Life would be so much simpler without one

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A Waitrose paper bag, over my head. "

I've seen your face - nonsense!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine.

I've always kind of resented my sex drive. Life would be so much simpler without one"

It is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t take compliments well. I acknowledge them and thank people but I don’t really believe it.

Awesome arse though dude.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Has to be a fresh pair of trainers ?? & smelling like the perfume shop

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t take compliments well. I acknowledge them and thank people but I don’t really believe it.

Awesome arse though dude. "

Thanks. I love your silhouette. It like Wonko but female. That’s basically the dream

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t take compliments well. I acknowledge them and thank people but I don’t really believe it.

Awesome arse though dude.

Thanks. I love your silhouette. It like Wonko but female. That’s basically the dream

I like it, I think it's one of my best.

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

I'm completely comfortable with what I see in the mirror. I'm far from the media definition of perfect - I could certainly do with losing a few pounds, but I wasn't hit too hard with the ugly stick, and I've learnt to just go with whatever my uncontrollable hair wants to do on any given day. I definitely don't need external validation, and criticism doesn't ever affect me negatively, but sincere compliments are always welcomed, and if I'm completely honest the times when I catch people giving me appreciative glances are always a bit of an ego boost.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t take compliments well. I acknowledge them and thank people but I don’t really believe it.

Awesome arse though dude.

Thanks. I love your silhouette. It like Wonko but female. That’s basically the dream

No one loves wonko

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t take compliments well. I acknowledge them and thank people but I don’t really believe it.

Awesome arse though dude.

Thanks. I love your silhouette. It like Wonko but female. That’s basically the dream

I like it, I think it's one of my best. "

Simple and elegant. The monochrome really adds to the sexiness of the shot.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t take compliments well. I acknowledge them and thank people but I don’t really believe it.

Awesome arse though dude.

Thanks. I love your silhouette. It like Wonko but female. That’s basically the dream

No one loves wonko

I love wonko. The little Jaffa cake dodging rascal

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

I can look in the mirror and think I look okay, but nothing beats that external validation of someone else finding you attractive"

Does it matter who the person is?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

That's the thing - it's not vain to appreciate the work you've put in and the results. But the British way is to be self-derogatory...

That is a very British thing. And I enjoy the training. "

Weirdo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t take compliments well. I acknowledge them and thank people but I don’t really believe it.

Awesome arse though dude.

Thanks. I love your silhouette. It like Wonko but female. That’s basically the dream

No one loves wonko

I love wonko. The little Jaffa cake dodging rascal

Pfft

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Alcohol

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By *avie65Man over a year ago

In the west.

That's the thing - it's not vain to appreciate the work you've put in and the results. But the British way is to be self-derogatory...

That is a very British thing. And I enjoy the training.

Weirdo

Moi?

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By *ister CMan over a year ago

liverpool

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive? "

'Insert platitude' and 'insert inspirational quote'.

Because a strong independent male.

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By *avexxMan over a year ago

cheshire

i dont need a validation but it is nice if recieve one,, im happy with myself when i look in the mirror, you what you are embrace it,,and feel good about yourself all you fabswingers

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How do you feel op?"

I can mostly be objective and see that I'm ok looking but that's taken years to see that. When depressed or anxious, i see my face and body in a very skewed way.

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By *eadinthecloudsMan over a year ago

Manchester

I feel like the more I command conversation and have quick witted exchanges the better. Feeling that inner confidence to express myself makes me feel mega.

That and the occasional look in the mirror.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Alcohol "

Lol - that's the other person looking more attractive! Booze goggles.

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By *eadinthecloudsMan over a year ago

Manchester

Will also add that I used to feel conscious of my height as a teen but now I love it. Now that I've grown into my frame and grown into my brain I feel invincible.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

When I look in the mirror I see an old, fat, tired woman looking back at me.

I feel attractive when I'm naked with my buddy and he has a very hard erection.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine. "

And you said earlier that compliments made it worse? Does anything help?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don’t take compliments well. I acknowledge them and thank people but I don’t really believe it.

Awesome arse though dude.

Thanks. I love your silhouette. It like Wonko but female. That’s basically the dream

I like it, I think it's one of my best.

Simple and elegant. The monochrome really adds to the sexiness of the shot. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine.

And you said earlier that compliments made it worse? Does anything help?"

Just me.

I'm fucked, and not in a good way!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

'Insert platitude' and 'insert inspirational quote'.

Because a strong independent male.

Reach for the skies! (Is that inspirational enough?)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never used to be happy looking in the mirror due to my thoughts of what others found attractive. But that was all a conversation in my head if that makes sense. I didn't know what anyone else liked/wanted and anxiety talked me into needing to be the 6ft, muscly, ripped stereotypical man's man. And if I wasn't that then I wasn't happy with myself.

But going through life and certainly fab (where I would argue you're purely rated on looks the majority of the time) it has boosted my confidence and my self-image.

I think I look alright now, nothing special, BUT the mindset of knowing I'm not for everyone and being ok with that fact allows me to go about my days with confidence in myself and bounce negativity off.

Granted I still get days where anxiety and depression decide to up and fuck me but in those days everything comes secondary to getting myself back into a positive place so self image is the last thing I care about.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

80% of the time i dont

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By *otdave75Man over a year ago

Chandlers Ford

I don’t think I’m attractive, just like it when other people say positive things about me. Happens more than I thought since I cam e on here

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By *inger_SnapWoman over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I've looked better, and I've looked worse. Not much I can do to change anything right now, so reasonably happy

I always feel sexy when I've made an effort with my hair, outfit and put some lippy on.

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By *reddy400Man over a year ago

birmingham

Never have

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Apparently fishnet pants do

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most of the time I feel distinctly average but when I get ready for a night out I feel pretty good!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/08/22 00:12:57]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First post in the forum and full of spelling errors...

My answer depends what mood I'm in:

Seeing a woman bite her lip when she's flirting is a huge thing for me - it's one of those really small bits of body language that I can't help but notice.

If it's what I like about myself, probably my back and shoulders.

If it's my "other" side... I've been told I've got great legs!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive? "

So difficult. In short no, i don’t like what i see but it’s not that simple either, is it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine.

And you said earlier that compliments made it worse? Does anything help?

Just me.

I'm fucked, and not in a good way!!"

Do you think you may have body dysmorphia? There is a disconnect between what you think and what others see.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

So difficult. In short no, i don’t like what i see but it’s not that simple either, is it"

It seems complicated for most people, I'd agree. So tied in with other feelings we have about ourselves. I know from myself and others that one sentence heard in childhood can have a lifelong impact for example.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"80% of the time i dont"

But at least sometimes you do? I'm a big believer that we can change those feelings over time.

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Validation from other people can often have a negative effect but it's entirely dependent on the other person, the circumstances and my frame of mind at the time.

I'm the only one who can make myself feel attractive and it seems to coincide with when I post a pic on here.

I don't feel attractive because it gets fabbed, I feel attractive hence why I take it in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine.

And you said earlier that compliments made it worse? Does anything help?

Just me.

I'm fucked, and not in a good way!!

Do you think you may have body dysmorphia? There is a disconnect between what you think and what others see. "

noooo!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Validation from other people can often have a negative effect but it's entirely dependent on the other person, the circumstances and my frame of mind at the time.

I'm the only one who can make myself feel attractive and it seems to coincide with when I post a pic on here.

I don't feel attractive because it gets fabbed, I feel attractive hence why I take it in the first place. "

Totally relate to this and it's why I take photos also. But why do you think we post them then if the Fabs aren't necessary?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine.

And you said earlier that compliments made it worse? Does anything help?

Just me.

I'm fucked, and not in a good way!!

Do you think you may have body dysmorphia? There is a disconnect between what you think and what others see.

noooo!

Why not?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine.

And you said earlier that compliments made it worse? Does anything help?

Just me.

I'm fucked, and not in a good way!!

Do you think you may have body dysmorphia? There is a disconnect between what you think and what others see.

noooo!

Why not? "

Ok, do I get hit on in every day life? Nope, not for at least 20 years anyway.

Am I gonna take the word of guys that tell me I'm sexy when all they've seen is flattering pictures? Nope.

I see me every day, I know what I look like better than anyone.

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"Validation from other people can often have a negative effect but it's entirely dependent on the other person, the circumstances and my frame of mind at the time.

I'm the only one who can make myself feel attractive and it seems to coincide with when I post a pic on here.

I don't feel attractive because it gets fabbed, I feel attractive hence why I take it in the first place.

Totally relate to this and it's why I take photos also. But why do you think we post them then if the Fabs aren't necessary?"

I can't speak for anyone else but as someone who posts pics quite often but rarely gets double figures initially in fabs I'm certainly not doing it for that reason.

I enjoy taking the pics, I'm proud of how I look while heading rapidly towards 60 and I'm equally as proud of my photography skills.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To be honest nothing makes yoyu feel attractive more than a welcome person mauling you hungrily regardless of your personal hangups

It certainly does help with mine, I must admit. The longer I go without sex the worse I think my body is.

Oh I'm the opposite. It's worse if I have to endure sex.

The mere thought of getting naked in front of someone has me reaching for the wine.

And you said earlier that compliments made it worse? Does anything help?

Just me.

I'm fucked, and not in a good way!!

Do you think you may have body dysmorphia? There is a disconnect between what you think and what others see.

noooo!

Why not?

Ok, do I get hit on in every day life? Nope, not for at least 20 years anyway.

Am I gonna take the word of guys that tell me I'm sexy when all they've seen is flattering pictures? Nope.

I see me every day, I know what I look like better than anyone. "

Yes of course you do. As do I. I am not convinced we are not skewed in the way we see ourselves. People will always look for the negatives in the themselves.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Validation from other people can often have a negative effect but it's entirely dependent on the other person, the circumstances and my frame of mind at the time.

I'm the only one who can make myself feel attractive and it seems to coincide with when I post a pic on here.

I don't feel attractive because it gets fabbed, I feel attractive hence why I take it in the first place.

Totally relate to this and it's why I take photos also. But why do you think we post them then if the Fabs aren't necessary?

I can't speak for anyone else but as someone who posts pics quite often but rarely gets double figures initially in fabs I'm certainly not doing it for that reason.

I enjoy taking the pics, I'm proud of how I look while heading rapidly towards 60 and I'm equally as proud of my photography skills.

That's so refreshing to read. You should be proud

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Validation from other people can often have a negative effect but it's entirely dependent on the other person, the circumstances and my frame of mind at the time.

I'm the only one who can make myself feel attractive and it seems to coincide with when I post a pic on here.

I don't feel attractive because it gets fabbed, I feel attractive hence why I take it in the first place.

Totally relate to this and it's why I take photos also. But why do you think we post them then if the Fabs aren't necessary?

I can't speak for anyone else but as someone who posts pics quite often but rarely gets double figures initially in fabs I'm certainly not doing it for that reason.

I enjoy taking the pics, I'm proud of how I look while heading rapidly towards 60 and I'm equally as proud of my photography skills.

An eloquent explanation. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been on this site has been incredible for me. I absolutely hated how I looked. I didnt see myself the way others have. I've had my eyes opened and now look at the positives instead. Hope it lasts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Validation from other people can often have a negative effect but it's entirely dependent on the other person, the circumstances and my frame of mind at the time.

I'm the only one who can make myself feel attractive and it seems to coincide with when I post a pic on here.

I don't feel attractive because it gets fabbed, I feel attractive hence why I take it in the first place.

Totally relate to this and it's why I take photos also. But why do you think we post them then if the Fabs aren't necessary?

I can't speak for anyone else but as someone who posts pics quite often but rarely gets double figures initially in fabs I'm certainly not doing it for that reason.

I enjoy taking the pics, I'm proud of how I look while heading rapidly towards 60 and I'm equally as proud of my photography skills.

Just added you to my hotlist. Your photography stills are incredible. Do you photo others by any chance

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Looking in the mirror and telling myself I love/like myself is OK for me, I genuinely believe it i feel it comes from the heart but just as important is the ability to look in the mirror and embrace when you are sad this for me is key to my self worth self esteem this tells me that life is not always perfect but thats fine x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Been on this site has been incredible for me. I absolutely hated how I looked. I didnt see myself the way others have. I've had my eyes opened and now look at the positives instead. Hope it lasts "

That's lovely to read, I hope it continues for you.

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By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive? "

Not happy as such. There are bits I like and bits I very much don't like (and degrees of like and dislike vary from day to day!). I'm very objective about my appearance.

I don't think external 'validation' is the answer, and my view on my own attractiveness won't change because of it, but a compliment is always nice, isn't it? I like them anyway, but perhaps I'm needy!

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By *iaisonseekerMan over a year ago

Liverpool

In the words of Patrick Bateman:

"All it comes down to is this: I feel like shit but I look great."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nothing....I know I'm an ugly moo

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Validation from others is futile really, they will say what you want to hear

I’m happy in my own skin and at my age I’m in a pretty good place. I feel good when I’m dressed to go out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nothing makes me feel attractive. And validation is nice, but it doesn't really make me feel special. I'd say picking out a lovely outfit and doing my hair and makeup definitely makes me feel better about myself, but I still wouldn't look in the mirror and think I'm attractive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My shoes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My shoes "

New shoes? Blue suede shoes?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My shoes

New shoes? Blue suede shoes?"

Old shoes with holes in it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Looking in the mirror and telling myself I love/like myself is OK for me, I genuinely believe it i feel it comes from the heart but just as important is the ability to look in the mirror and embrace when you are sad this for me is key to my self worth self esteem this tells me that life is not always perfect but thats fine x"

Perhaps it's our expectation of perfection that means so many people don't like themselves?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The mirror

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

My brain

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My shoes

New shoes? Blue suede shoes?

Old shoes with holes in it "

Repair the Kintsugi way and they will be even more attractive?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

I don't particularly like what I see in the mirror, no. Mr KC likes what he sees, so that's okay.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"My shoes

New shoes? Blue suede shoes?

Old shoes with holes in it

Repair the Kintsugi way and they will be even more attractive? "

Think they're supposed to have holes in them, knowing F&B

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By *rettyflamingoWoman over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

Me, having a positive mental attitude and confidence plus sexy lingerie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My shoes

New shoes? Blue suede shoes?

Old shoes with holes in it

Repair the Kintsugi way and they will be even more attractive?

Think they're supposed to have holes in them, knowing F&B

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My shoes

New shoes? Blue suede shoes?

Old shoes with holes in it

Repair the Kintsugi way and they will be even more attractive?

Think they're supposed to have holes in them, knowing F&B

But thank you for the advice damsel

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

I certainly don't need validation from others... I think I'm doing ok for my age and at the end of the day...No-one is perfect x

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman over a year ago

Somewhere else

My head freshly shaved, just out of the shower, a little bit of fragrance, wearing something cute that shows my figure and conveys my personality.

When someone I’m super into is super into me too, it can certainly be extra validating. But I don’t necessarily need commentary from strangers I /don’t/ want to bone.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"My shoes

New shoes? Blue suede shoes?

Old shoes with holes in it

Repair the Kintsugi way and they will be even more attractive?

Think they're supposed to have holes in them, knowing F&B

You are a rotter sometimes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My shoes

New shoes? Blue suede shoes?

Old shoes with holes in it

Repair the Kintsugi way and they will be even more attractive?

Think they're supposed to have holes in them, knowing F&B

But thank you for the advice damsel"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My shoes

New shoes? Blue suede shoes?

Old shoes with holes in it

Repair the Kintsugi way and they will be even more attractive?

Think they're supposed to have holes in them, knowing F&B

You are a rotter sometimes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nothing....I know I'm an ugly moo "

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By *anilla switchWoman over a year ago

Hampshire

One word… fishnets

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By *ixedDevilMan over a year ago

Bootyville

"One word… fishnets "

Oh damn you look gooood

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By *hrissy xTV/TS over a year ago

Oxford

Totally agree. With body girdles and short dresses

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always feel sexay when cockwomble behaviour is imminent

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I certainly don't need validation from others... I think I'm doing ok for my age and at the end of the day...No-one is perfect x

No, but some do come dayum close

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

I'll be honest I know i look far younger thank my age, I'm in decent shape, still got my hair, attractive is subjective but I'm happy with how I look

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By *vanabeusedTV/TS over a year ago

somewhere

Being wanted . And when my make ups done well xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

Not happy as such. There are bits I like and bits I very much don't like (and degrees of like and dislike vary from day to day!). I'm very objective about my appearance.

You don't come across as needy, YOLO

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By *antra MassageMan over a year ago

South Side.

I know I'm attractive, So I feel attractive. Its a confidence, an assumption, an inner belief. I grew up this way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My brain

Love that answer!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive? "

More internal for me, I don't have any hang-ups or anxieties about myself externally. I need a woman to compliment me, smile with strong eye contact to make me feel attractive.

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By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

Not happy as such. There are bits I like and bits I very much don't like (and degrees of like and dislike vary from day to day!). I'm very objective about my appearance.

You don't come across as needy, YOLO

That's good. I appreciate your external validation!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In all honesty I don't really like what I see in myself generally but I make the best of what I've been given physically. I would change my anxiety levels however.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Most of the time I feel distinctly average but when I get ready for a night out I feel pretty good! "
you’re beautiful

. Honestly

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By *agic.MMan over a year ago

Orpington

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive? "

I need the validation of others, yes, thank you...tell me I'm beautiful

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

90% of the time I'm more than happy with what I see.

What makes me feel better, normally its based on making friends or clients happy and looked after.

I have a quirky sense of humour and bring a smile to a person is a huge mood enhancer.

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive? "

No the opposite , I don’t believe most compliments are anything like genuine.

If I see results to s of training and living a healthy life, or have given my best and been a good person - I feel happy with what I see.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never really consider my looks, although some have been bold enough to tell me they find me attractive. I still get approached in the real world and they do say first appearances count so I can't be too fugly?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just got to accept what you can’t change and change what you can if you need to…..but do it for you and no1 else

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By *inxy300Woman over a year ago

nottinghamshire

This is definitely me

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"Validation from other people can often have a negative effect but it's entirely dependent on the other person, the circumstances and my frame of mind at the time.

I'm the only one who can make myself feel attractive and it seems to coincide with when I post a pic on here.

I don't feel attractive because it gets fabbed, I feel attractive hence why I take it in the first place.

Totally relate to this and it's why I take photos also. But why do you think we post them then if the Fabs aren't necessary?

I can't speak for anyone else but as someone who posts pics quite often but rarely gets double figures initially in fabs I'm certainly not doing it for that reason.

I enjoy taking the pics, I'm proud of how I look while heading rapidly towards 60 and I'm equally as proud of my photography skills.

Just added you to my hotlist. Your photography stills are incredible. Do you photo others by any chance "

I have done for someone but they're all taken and edited on a phone so nothing professional.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Validation from other people can often have a negative effect but it's entirely dependent on the other person, the circumstances and my frame of mind at the time.

I'm the only one who can make myself feel attractive and it seems to coincide with when I post a pic on here.

I don't feel attractive because it gets fabbed, I feel attractive hence why I take it in the first place.

Totally relate to this and it's why I take photos also. But why do you think we post them then if the Fabs aren't necessary?

I can't speak for anyone else but as someone who posts pics quite often but rarely gets double figures initially in fabs I'm certainly not doing it for that reason.

I enjoy taking the pics, I'm proud of how I look while heading rapidly towards 60 and I'm equally as proud of my photography skills.

Just added you to my hotlist. Your photography stills are incredible. Do you photo others by any chance

I have done for someone but they're all taken and edited on a phone so nothing professional. "

Jeez yours look brilliant and very professional

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

Not happy as such. There are bits I like and bits I very much don't like (and degrees of like and dislike vary from day to day!). I'm very objective about my appearance.

You don't come across as needy, YOLO

That's good. I appreciate your external validation!

I thought you might

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In all honesty I don't really like what I see in myself generally but I make the best of what I've been given physically. I would change my anxiety levels however....."

Oh me too. Anxiety can rule your life, can't it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

I need the validation of others, yes, thank you...tell me I'm beautiful

You're beautiful - feel better now?

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By *hilipaTVTV/TS over a year ago

Middle bit

I look awful until I get my makeup on and whatever wig first makes me go 'Fuck yes!!'

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By *agic.MMan over a year ago

Orpington

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

I need the validation of others, yes, thank you...tell me I'm beautiful

You're beautiful - feel better now?

Uhmm...yeah...I think it does make me feel better

...say it again

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By *ANDA!Man over a year ago

DUMFRIES

I look in the mirror and I don't really like what I see. But then one of the other voices always says "you got to work with what you got"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see? What makes you feel ok with that? Is it internal or external - do you need the validation of other people to feel attractive?

I need the validation of others, yes, thank you...tell me I'm beautiful

You're beautiful - feel better now?

Uhmm...yeah...I think it does make me feel better

...say it again

You're beautiful.

Everyone on this thread is beautiful. I appreciate the candour and insight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Great thread OP

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good things that make you feel attractive everyone

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