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Best opening message
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I don't want to get in trouble for quoting PMs so I'll give you the gist. He referred to Hannah as a sexy hotwife and he wanted to bend her over and do certain things to her. When I told him we don't like being spoken to like that he blamed me for not taking it as a compliment. Luke |
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"I don't want to get in trouble for quoting PMs so I'll give you the gist. He referred to Hannah as a sexy hotwife and he wanted to bend her over and do certain things to her. When I told him we don't like being spoken to like that he blamed me for not taking it as a compliment. Luke "
Yeah sorry about that Luke  |
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By *_Mr.K_xMan
over a year ago
Somewhere between Hades and Narnia |
"Want to hear a joke about ropeplay or being tied up? I'm a freyed-knot"
"That is some nice underwear you're wearing, it'd look better on my bedroom floor"
"Hi, want to both laugh and be mildly disappointed at the same time?" |
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“Awww I’m Daddy, are you my baby girl?”
Or
“Can I tongue fuck your fart box?” (Although I thought that was quite original)
Or
“Do you simulate breast feeding please?”
The list goes on and on and on….. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
One that made me laugh was "are you Jackie from the arcades ?" I'm not btw .
I've also had will you role play being my sister & one asking me if I'd go on a stag do with a bloke and his mates to Newcastle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I received an incredible message from a beautiful lady a few weeks ago, when I was travelling in a different part of the country. Eloquent, considered and warm - mind blowing as I have rarely been contacted first by anyone here. So refreshing!
For anyone (mainly the guys I know) annoyed that they never receive messages, hang in there - and remember as with most things in life, you get what you give. Stay positive, stay human & don't take Fab too seriously |
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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
A friend of mine once received a CV from a guy. Thought it was really original. With references 
Till she got 5 others like that quite soon. 
I've not had a first message that wasn't off a forum topic (so just a chat). But I think the worst I've sent was as a noob... Hey, how you doing?  |
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A guy quite far away from me wanted me to cum in condoms and post them to him, and he was happy to pay
It sounded like a fantasy but the guy was legit.
Stopped when a realised it might not be a kink, but a way of spreading my semen all over a crime scene |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One that made me laugh was "are you Jackie from the arcades ?" I'm not btw .
I've also had will you role play being my sister & one asking me if I'd go on a stag do with a bloke and his mates to Newcastle."
Hey I got the same stag invite. That makes me feel less special now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A guy quite far away from me wanted me to cum in condoms and post them to him, and he was happy to pay
It sounded like a fantasy but the guy was legit.
Stopped when a realised it might not be a kink, but a way of spreading my semen all over a crime scene "
"Stopped"? So you actually did this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm torn between
'I've been fucking my ass with a banana and want you to watch me eat it.'
Wtf dude? No.
and in response to a forum post about two ladies playing for the benefit of their Doms..
'I once walked in on my sister and her best friend playing. Basically do what they did lol'
Hugely helpful. 
I regularly get
'I want to serve you/be your cock caged boy/sissy please Goddess/Mistress etc.'
Just ew. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a message recently saying something like he wish he had a time machine to cock block all the men I've met and steal me away.
Had too many offering to pay for different services. One wanted me to shit on his face.
I had a very worrying one saying he wanted to give me all his passwords and login details and that I could anything I wanted with them for a period of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just had another: I've just been let down, are you available to meet this afternoon?
Like I'm some sort of consolation prize. I've obviously never talked to him before. |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
I once got messaged by a man with a thing for old cock. Now I'm not the sort to be offended by men messaging me because truth be told I'm shallow enough to take the compliment even though I'm not interested. But fuckibg hell, how many times can one message contain the word "old"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm torn between
'I've been fucking my ass with a banana and want you to watch me eat it.'
Wtf dude? No.
and in response to a forum post about two ladies playing for the benefit of their Doms..
'I once walked in on my sister and her best friend playing. Basically do what they did lol'
Hugely helpful.
I regularly get
'I want to serve you/be your cock caged boy/sissy please Goddess/Mistress etc.'
Just ew."
In response to my above comment, I've just had
'So you don't like bananas then'
Really? (Insert face palm and eye roll here) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t tend to get rude messages get the odd abuse from lady’s which doesn’t really bother me just delete and block had more nice conversations with lady’s in non sexual way some message regularly think they just want to check I’m still alive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funniest - Next time you're in Xtasia I'll bang you real good 
Disturbing - I'll be your human toilet "
Whenever I hear or read "real good", I've got to start saying it like the salt n pepa song.
I got one just asking me if I wanted to fart tease him. I can imagine myself on his face pretending to fart. Not what I had in mind when I said I love teasing. |
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"A guy quite far away from me wanted me to cum in condoms and post them to him, and he was happy to pay
It sounded like a fantasy but the guy was legit.
Stopped when a realised it might not be a kink, but a way of spreading my semen all over a crime scene
"Stopped"? So you actually did this?"
Stopped chatting. Never went through with it, seemed to dodgey |
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"Funniest - Next time you're in Xtasia I'll bang you real good
Disturbing - I'll be your human toilet
Whenever I hear or read "real good", I've got to start saying it like the salt n pepa song.
I got one just asking me if I wanted to fart tease him. I can imagine myself on his face pretending to fart. Not what I had in mind when I said I love teasing."
FFS fart tease, thinking we should unblock men for a few evenings, seems like we are missing out! hilarious thread op  |
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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago
London |
"Funniest - Next time you're in Xtasia I'll bang you real good
Disturbing - I'll be your human toilet
Whenever I hear or read "real good", I've got to start saying it like the salt n pepa song.
I got one just asking me if I wanted to fart tease him. I can imagine myself on his face pretending to fart. Not what I had in mind when I said I love teasing.
FFS fart tease, thinking we should unblock men for a few evenings, seems like we are missing out! hilarious thread op "
Ella has a habit of turning off the filters, either "in the name of science" or when she's being more honest "for a laugh".... I suspect this thread may inspire her....
G |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't suppose you're looking for a plumber?
Not the greatest as such, but it was perfectly timed to exactly a fantasy, role play scenario.
That led to a couple of fun meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take a look at the bottom of my profile. My best and worst opening messages are listed there and a bit of an eye opener. "
Just read profile
WTF
Glad I’m bloke most are downright disrespectful and disgusting
Please don’t judge a book by its cover there are some decent nice guys on hear it’s just the few that are well weird  |
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"Take a look at the bottom of my profile. My best and worst opening messages are listed there and a bit of an eye opener.
Well at least my message wasn't one of them  "
and I do like looking at your bottom |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Had one who said I reminded him of his mum, and in a good way "
I had similar not a first msg but had been chatting for awhile, we exchanged face pics and he said you look just like my mum when she was younger, she never had a body like yours though can't wait till we meet, didn't meet him blocked him, no way am I meeting Norman Bates! |
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