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Farting
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"I still find farting hilarious! "And me !! The mere mention of the word and I’m guffawing | |||
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"We all fart. It's just when, where and infront of whom we do it that's the issue. "Pull my finger" is perfectly OK in some circles but will get kicked out of asda for asking the checkout lady. "Pull my finger ? | |||
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" Pull my finger ?" Have you never heard of this??? | |||
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" Pull my finger ? Have you never heard of this???" No please explain | |||
"Farting cracks me up. Obviously I'd never do it, cos I'm all ladylike n shiz" What a woman!! | |||
"I love all things farts! Makes me giggle! Bum farts fanny farts! Bum farts that flutter up through fanny lips x "Love your style | |||
" Pull my finger ? Have you never heard of this???" My dad used to say pull my finger! X | |||
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" Pull my finger ? Have you never heard of this??? My dad used to say pull my finger! X" I get it now ! | |||
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"I have to say anytime I need a 'toot" I go far away from people, let it rip and then I giggle...every damn time, I find it funny. Now, my best friend and her hubby are let them rip anytime anywhere kind of people. I do not find it funny when we are out having a meal and they are sitting across from us farting while I'm trying to eat. Not to mention all the other patrons in the establishment. Absolutely disgusting! There is a time and a place and while people are eating is not it!" So funny x | |||
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"Don’t find it funny not into toilet humour" Each ti their own | |||
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"Ive started a fart war with my youngest son and its the worst thing ive done. As its been hot we have a fan in each bedroom so i decided to be a good dad and fart into the fan in my sons room and now he gets me back at any given chance "
My daughter runs down the stairs after "cupping" one and throws it at me | |||
"Ive started a fart war with my youngest son and its the worst thing ive done. As its been hot we have a fan in each bedroom so i decided to be a good dad and fart into the fan in my sons room and now he gets me back at any given chance
My daughter runs down the stairs after "cupping" one and throws it at me "Legend ! | |||
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TMI? | |||
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"Everyone does it. Nothing like letting rip and give the blanket a little shake to let it drift! "This my friend is called the Dutch oven | |||
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"We all fart. It's just when, where and infront of whom we do it that's the issue. "Pull my finger" is perfectly OK in some circles but will get kicked out of asda for asking the checkout lady.
Pull my finger ?"Oh yes! I must try that with Hannah some time. I don't know if she's come across that.  | |||
"I have to say anytime I need a 'toot" I go far away from people, let it rip and then I giggle...every damn time, I find it funny. Now, my best friend and her hubby are let them rip anytime anywhere kind of people. I do not find it funny when we are out having a meal and they are sitting across from us farting while I'm trying to eat. Not to mention all the other patrons in the establishment. Absolutely disgusting! There is a time and a place and while people are eating is not it!" Hannah (who is American) thinks it's hilarious that there's a place in South London called Tooting. | |||
"I have to say anytime I need a 'toot" I go far away from people, let it rip and then I giggle...every damn time, I find it funny. Now, my best friend and her hubby are let them rip anytime anywhere kind of people. I do not find it funny when we are out having a meal and they are sitting across from us farting while I'm trying to eat. Not to mention all the other patrons in the establishment. Absolutely disgusting! There is a time and a place and while people are eating is not it! Hannah (who is American) thinks it's hilarious that there's a place in South London called Tooting. " Oh no! My American must be showing with my use of the word toot. Now I just giggled finding out the is a place called Tooting. I wonder if it smells a bit funny there? | |||
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"Ive started a fart war with my youngest son and its the worst thing ive done. As its been hot we have a fan in each bedroom so i decided to be a good dad and fart into the fan in my sons room and now he gets me back at any given chance
My daughter runs down the stairs after "cupping" one and throws it at me "Actually I love this. I was brought up to think girls or ladies farting was not normal or there was something dirty about us for doing so. To this day I cant fart in front of anyone except my child. I tell him all the time it's normal and better out then in. We laugh as we see who does the loudest of longest. Haha I'm sure I'll be blocked by loads for this | |||
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"Ive started a fart war with my youngest son and its the worst thing ive done. As its been hot we have a fan in each bedroom so i decided to be a good dad and fart into the fan in my sons room and now he gets me back at any given chance "This is BRILLIANT | |||
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, together we have created a 5 year old trumpet machine and it will forever not be funny to us. But we only do it infront of eachother (or in the supermarket when we can loudly blame it on one of the kids then storm off)  | |||
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"Story time... Myself and Lisa were at a local club. We'd been downstairs for a while, met a few couples, one of which were hot as fuck. We'd (me really) noticed the female, a smaller doe eyed blonde with light tan and that baby-fat build which isn't chubby, just nice and soft. She had a fairly flat chest and I knew Lisa would be in to her. We'd very briefly spoke to them, but we're hoping we'd be in the same room at the same time and things would... Evolve. So we're upstairs on a bed. Why do people often seem to only start playing in the last hour at clubs!? We were almost always the first to start things off, and this night was the same. We were just getting down to things, we had a couple of guys around wanking and another couple opposite starting. Then the sexy couple came in. This was a few years back before we had kids, I had time to go in the gym and didn't have too many carbs in the house, so I had a decent body, but the extra protein sometimes gave me a bit of wind, it wouldn't be large amounts, but infrequent sudden blasts weren't uncommon. So we're on the bed. The couple were watching at first but had moved to the bed and were playing with each other. Dreams come true and Lisa starts kissing the female. I'm now on top of Lisa in missionary. I feel that sudden gut twist, as air is pushed to final clearance. Only the external airlock doors remain. I can hold it though, I'm an adult. I'll just keep it there, we won't be long, I can tell because Lisa is getting off on kissing the girl's breasts and I know when she lifts her head and sees the guy's cock going in and out of the girl's bald cunt, her eyes will close, her nose will flair and she'll grip my arse and pull me in... And then I realise... but it's too late. She's seen it, and not just the in-out action, the guy has pulled his really long but skinny cock, with its huge bell-end out, taking with him a handful of pussy lip and he's blown an unrealistic amount of spunk across the girl's now shiny twat. Well that's done it. Her eyes are closed and her little nose flairs open as her stomach crunches up with a seriously strong orgasm. To get the most out of it, she puts her hands on my bum and pulls me as deep as I can go into her soaking pussy... and normally I'm on edge and will blow my load into her. But not this time. This time, as she pulls me, she forces open the airlock doors, just enough to allow the internal pressure to drop. I have to think quick. I fall on top of her and whisper in her ear that she's a dirty slag who loves seeing spunk. This would be what I'd normally do I'm sure. Have I just faked my first orgasm? I think I have. If I'd have tried to cum, I would have force-blasted the motherload and made a huge parp sound, so I clenched and lay still. As I come back up, I tentatively inhale, sniffing the air like a hunter at the edge of the savannah. Oh god. I sniff in. It's a real stinker. Thick. Dark. The warm damp room holding it in the air. And as we move to rise and clean up, the air moves and those around us get a whiff. The fallout is immediate. People can't hold their horror. The guys at the edge of the bed are first to catch it and immediately make moves to distance themselves from the possibility it was them. The remaining couple and a single female just look disgusted. It's clear it came from our side. But with no identifying tone, I can't be blamed. We clean up and head downstairs, we're having a drink and chatting about the experience. She asks "was that you?", I denied it, no... I didn't have an answer for this... "it was the girl, I saw her eyes when she did it and heard a bit of a toot..." Lisa said she was too far gone to hear anything and accepted my answer. We'd normally go and exchange profiles with couples, but as we went into the bar, Lisa said "she'll probably be really embarrassed, I'm sure we'll see them again". We never did. So... That's the story of how I single fartedly ruined the chance of further meets with one of the sexiest couples we've ever met. " A fantastic fart fable !! I had to laugh sorry !! | |||
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"Story time... Myself and Lisa were at a local club. We'd been downstairs for a while, met a few couples, one of which were hot as fuck. We'd (me really) noticed the female, a smaller doe eyed blonde with light tan and that baby-fat build which isn't chubby, just nice and soft. She had a fairly flat chest and I knew Lisa would be in to her. We'd very briefly spoke to them, but we're hoping we'd be in the same room at the same time and things would... Evolve. So we're upstairs on a bed. Why do people often seem to only start playing in the last hour at clubs!? We were almost always the first to start things off, and this night was the same. We were just getting down to things, we had a couple of guys around wanking and another couple opposite starting. Then the sexy couple came in. This was a few years back before we had kids, I had time to go in the gym and didn't have too many carbs in the house, so I had a decent body, but the extra protein sometimes gave me a bit of wind, it wouldn't be large amounts, but infrequent sudden blasts weren't uncommon. So we're on the bed. The couple were watching at first but had moved to the bed and were playing with each other. Dreams come true and Lisa starts kissing the female. I'm now on top of Lisa in missionary. I feel that sudden gut twist, as air is pushed to final clearance. Only the external airlock doors remain. I can hold it though, I'm an adult. I'll just keep it there, we won't be long, I can tell because Lisa is getting off on kissing the girl's breasts and I know when she lifts her head and sees the guy's cock going in and out of the girl's bald cunt, her eyes will close, her nose will flair and she'll grip my arse and pull me in... And then I realise... but it's too late. She's seen it, and not just the in-out action, the guy has pulled his really long but skinny cock, with its huge bell-end out, taking with him a handful of pussy lip and he's blown an unrealistic amount of spunk across the girl's now shiny twat. Well that's done it. Her eyes are closed and her little nose flairs open as her stomach crunches up with a seriously strong orgasm. To get the most out of it, she puts her hands on my bum and pulls me as deep as I can go into her soaking pussy... and normally I'm on edge and will blow my load into her. But not this time. This time, as she pulls me, she forces open the airlock doors, just enough to allow the internal pressure to drop. I have to think quick. I fall on top of her and whisper in her ear that she's a dirty slag who loves seeing spunk. This would be what I'd normally do I'm sure. Have I just faked my first orgasm? I think I have. If I'd have tried to cum, I would have force-blasted the motherload and made a huge parp sound, so I clenched and lay still. As I come back up, I tentatively inhale, sniffing the air like a hunter at the edge of the savannah. Oh god. I sniff in. It's a real stinker. Thick. Dark. The warm damp room holding it in the air. And as we move to rise and clean up, the air moves and those around us get a whiff. The fallout is immediate. People can't hold their horror. The guys at the edge of the bed are first to catch it and immediately make moves to distance themselves from the possibility it was them. The remaining couple and a single female just look disgusted. It's clear it came from our side. But with no identifying tone, I can't be blamed. We clean up and head downstairs, we're having a drink and chatting about the experience. She asks "was that you?", I denied it, no... I didn't have an answer for this... "it was the girl, I saw her eyes when she did it and heard a bit of a toot..." Lisa said she was too far gone to hear anything and accepted my answer. We'd normally go and exchange profiles with couples, but as we went into the bar, Lisa said "she'll probably be really embarrassed, I'm sure we'll see them again". We never did. So... That's the story of how I single fartedly ruined the chance of further meets with one of the sexiest couples we've ever met. " Omg! That is so so funny x | |||
