FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do or say something nice….
Do or say something nice….
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are you the type that does something nice/helpful without the need for recognition?
Or do you need to let people know you’ve done it? Not necessarily in a ‘look at me’ kind of way but just so it doesn’t go unnoticed….
What have you done recently that you were happy / proud of that helped someone else and it gave you that little smile of satisfaction….
Always curious  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I often get told I'm "too nice" and at times I do annoy myself because I go out of my way or put myself at a disadvantage in order to help others. I'd rather be too nice than not nice enough though so it's cool. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
The world would be a better place if more people were kind.
And if they need recognition in order to do it, I'm ok with that because at least they're doing a good thing. Motive in that case is less important to me than the outcome for the recipient.
Nicecouple are still giving people trainers after all.
Although giving them to the dude with no legs the other week was a bit on the nose. I can't believe that was one of your most liked videos!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I often get told I'm "too nice" and at times I do annoy myself because I go out of my way or put myself at a disadvantage in order to help others. I'd rather be too nice than not nice enough though so it's cool."
So is there no middle ground? It seems if you put yourself at a disadvantage then that isn’t beneficial? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The world would be a better place if more people were kind.
And if they need recognition in order to do it, I'm ok with that because at least they're doing a good thing. Motive in that case is less important to me than the outcome for the recipient.
Nicecouple are still giving people trainers after all.
Although giving them to the dude with no legs the other week was a bit on the nose. I can't believe that was one of your most liked videos! "
An outcome is better than no outcome …wise!! And if the views are more than win win |
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"I often get told I'm "too nice" and at times I do annoy myself because I go out of my way or put myself at a disadvantage in order to help others. I'd rather be too nice than not nice enough though so it's cool."
Same here. Heart on my sleeve. Burnt lots.
But i would still be nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I helped to save an old mans life just last week if that counts
But usually i only say or do nice things for people i like that was a one off moment im usually a narky twat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often get told I'm "too nice" and at times I do annoy myself because I go out of my way or put myself at a disadvantage in order to help others. I'd rather be too nice than not nice enough though so it's cool.
Same here. Heart on my sleeve. Burnt lots.
But i would still be nice"
Same hear would help anyone case in point during the hot weather took a lady home I found collapsed on grass an elderly lady administered first aid she was dehydrated water given took her home in my car carried her shopping as well  |
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"The world would be a better place if more people were kind.
And if they need recognition in order to do it, I'm ok with that because at least they're doing a good thing. Motive in that case is less important to me than the outcome for the recipient.
Nicecouple are still giving people trainers after all.
Although giving them to the dude with no legs the other week was a bit on the nose. I can't believe that was one of your most liked videos! "
it was an honest mistake. I meant to give him the doughnut and sugary coffee but have that to the diabetic instead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like to help and be nice whenever we can, and sometimes a bit of recognition is good and gives a good feeling.
But doing it from the background can also produce the same feeling...but then who will know we're so amazing!!  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"The world would be a better place if more people were kind.
And if they need recognition in order to do it, I'm ok with that because at least they're doing a good thing. Motive in that case is less important to me than the outcome for the recipient.
Nicecouple are still giving people trainers after all.
Although giving them to the dude with no legs the other week was a bit on the nose. I can't believe that was one of your most liked videos!
it was an honest mistake. I meant to give him the doughnut and sugary coffee but have that to the diabetic instead "
The ratings did shoot through the roof almost as fast as his blood sugar! |
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"The world would be a better place if more people were kind.
And if they need recognition in order to do it, I'm ok with that because at least they're doing a good thing. Motive in that case is less important to me than the outcome for the recipient.
Nicecouple are still giving people trainers after all.
Although giving them to the dude with no legs the other week was a bit on the nose. I can't believe that was one of your most liked videos!
it was an honest mistake. I meant to give him the doughnut and sugary coffee but have that to the diabetic instead
The ratings did shoot through the roof almost as fast as his blood sugar!"
Forum friendly and busty! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I helped to save an old mans life just last week if that counts
But usually i only say or do nice things for people i like that was a one off moment im usually a narky twat"
Fantastic news…. We need more good news in the world …. Focus on the good 
Life saver recognition |
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My typed a long response but I even bored myself so here's the short version.
Do good stuff if you want to, it makes you feel nice when you do. Tell people about it if you like as well everyone deserves recognition but be mindful of the feelings of the person/people you are doing the good stuff for, it can demean or humiliate them sometimes.
Always remember, no good deed goes unpunished |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I help old ladies over the road - often they dont want to be over the road so when i get there - they do - so i help them back!! "
If a job is worth doing … do it twice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We like to help and be nice whenever we can, and sometimes a bit of recognition is good and gives a good feeling.
But doing it from the background can also produce the same feeling...but then who will know we're so amazing!! "
The fab world now knows  |
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I used to get quite cross when one of my extended family would visit my mum and dad once in a blue moon, plaster it all over Facebook and get loads of comments saying what marvellous and caring people they were. Didn't notice many of them in a and e at 2:30 am though or visiting the hospital daily. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My typed a long response but I even bored myself so here's the short version.
Do good stuff if you want to, it makes you feel nice when you do. Tell people about it if you like as well everyone deserves recognition but be mindful of the feelings of the person/people you are doing the good stuff for, it can demean or humiliate them sometimes.
Always remember, no good deed goes unpunished"
As long as good is felt by both parties go with it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to get quite cross when one of my extended family would visit my mum and dad once in a blue moon, plaster it all over Facebook and get loads of comments saying what marvellous and caring people they were. Didn't notice many of them in a and e at 2:30 am though or visiting the hospital daily. "
Ah the social media recognition types  |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
I like to do good things for people.
I’m happy to do good things for strangers with no chance of anything back other than a rosy glow.
But I’ve got a chest full of medals and a gang of certificates and I love them all.
Recognition is great if it’s not the only motive. But even then as others have said, if the good deed is done, it’s usually a win for someone.
Gbat |
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"It is not your self perception of 'nice' that matters.
I see where you’re coming from, but one has to start somewhere.
Gbat "
'one has to start somewhere' ...... golly. I'll give that deep thought while I brew up.
I hope you didn't think I meant you _bat I was talking generally to everyone.
Gosh ... 'one has to start somewhere' ..... hmmmmmm |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What I mean is - if another perceives you or your acts as kind then the act is kind.
If you alone perceive it as kind then it probably isn't.
"
See above … |
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I'm on the barbed wire with this.
I've been on the receiving end of acts of kindness that have left me feeling humiliated. Is that kind? Is it the intention of the kind or the feeling of the kindee that counts? |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
While there are are certainly people (primarily influencers) who post acts of kindness as a form of self promotion I think for most people talking about acts of kindness is a good thing. We live in an ever more miserable and selfish society, reminding other people that we are kind is no bad thing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm on the barbed wire with this.
I've been on the receiving end of acts of kindness that have left me feeling humiliated. Is that kind? Is it the intention of the kind or the feeling of the kindee that counts?"
I think someone above suggested as long as both feel it has been kind…. |
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"While there are are certainly people (primarily influencers) who post acts of kindness as a form of self promotion I think for most people talking about acts of kindness is a good thing. We live in an ever more miserable and selfish society, reminding other people that we are kind is no bad thing"
I think it can lead other people to do kind things.
The thing is I think you're either naturally kind or you're not.
If my device doesn't stop correcting or to of I'm not going to be very kind to it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"While there are are certainly people (primarily influencers) who post acts of kindness as a form of self promotion I think for most people talking about acts of kindness is a good thing. We live in an ever more miserable and selfish society, reminding other people that we are kind is no bad thing"
It is not bad at all…. More kind …more selfless…. More smiles |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I saw a fox drinking from the bowl of water I left out for them. That felt nice!
I bet it did. I spend ages watching the sparrows squabbling in the bird feeder that feels nice too "
But what if the squabbling lead to fighting and injury … would that still
Be nice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I saw a fox drinking from the bowl of water I left out for them. That felt nice!
I bet it did. I spend ages watching the sparrows squabbling in the bird feeder that feels nice too "
Oh I bet that's lovely to see! I was thinking about getting one of those see through ones to stick on the window |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Recently I have helped a few fellow men recognise that it's ok to ask for help if you're struggling with your mental health. Also given advice on what to try to help when you're having a bad moment and I have made a big difference to there mental health. All I need to know is that I have helped someone face there demons and that they know I am there when they need me. |
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"I'm on the barbed wire with this.
I've been on the receiving end of acts of kindness that have left me feeling humiliated. Is that kind? Is it the intention of the kind or the feeling of the kindee that counts?
I think someone above suggested as long as both feel it has been kind…."
How can you possibly know beforehand? In one particular incident the person being kind to me was absolutely convinced it was the nicest thing they could possibly do. They were shocked that I didn't take full advantage of their kindness because that is what they would have done. I was utterly humiliated. |
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"I'm on the barbed wire with this.
I've been on the receiving end of acts of kindness that have left me feeling humiliated. Is that kind? Is it the intention of the kind or the feeling of the kindee that counts?"
My daughter used to bring bags of clothes or items of furniture and I'd say.
I don't want it.
She'd be mortified and insulted that I didn't accept her 'kindness'
It wasn't kindness to me. It was more 'stuff' for me to get rid of. Just an extra job.
I only got direct when it kept happening despite me saying ' I do not want your stuff. I've got enough of my own stuff!'
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"I saw a fox drinking from the bowl of water I left out for them. That felt nice!
I bet it did. I spend ages watching the sparrows squabbling in the bird feeder that feels nice too
Oh I bet that's lovely to see! I was thinking about getting one of those see through ones to stick on the window "
Do it! Someone we know has one of takes a little while for the birds to accept it but once they do it's better than Netflix |
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"I'm on the barbed wire with this.
I've been on the receiving end of acts of kindness that have left me feeling humiliated. Is that kind? Is it the intention of the kind or the feeling of the kindee that counts?
I think someone above suggested as long as both feel it has been kind….
How can you possibly know beforehand? In one particular incident the person being kind to me was absolutely convinced it was the nicest thing they could possibly do. They were shocked that I didn't take full advantage of their kindness because that is what they would have done. I was utterly humiliated. "
Work colleagues were made fully aware that I did not want a leaving ceremony or a gift or any fuss.
They kept is secret and trapped me in a room.
I'll spare you the feelings I had about it.
So , 'Who was that lovely surprise for ? ' and was it really a kind thing to do ?
|
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"'one has to start somewhere' ...... golly. I'll give that deep thought while I brew up.
I hope you didn't think I meant you _bat I was talking generally to everyone.
Gosh ... 'one has to start somewhere' ..... hmmmmmm "
Nooooo! I didn’t take it personally at all. What I was saying is that if you are setting out on a journey to be nice to someone, you can’t always know how they will perceive it.
You may have the best intentions in the world but your only frame of reference might be your own internal moral compass.
If it’s badly skewed your good intentions will be, as you implied, spaffed all over the place and won’t have the desired effect. But you had to start somewhere, so you could only do what you thought was the right thing.
I think we are agreeing, but I’m trying to add a little empathy for a well intentioned tryer.
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do a lot of things for people I know and strangers. Little or big, kindness goes a long way to everyone. I don't tell people what they are or when I've done them, kinda defeats the whole object if you have to broadcast it. Everyone just be a good person because you want to be, not because it makes good social media. |
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"I'm on the barbed wire with this.
I've been on the receiving end of acts of kindness that have left me feeling humiliated. Is that kind? Is it the intention of the kind or the feeling of the kindee that counts?
I think someone above suggested as long as both feel it has been kind….
How can you possibly know beforehand? In one particular incident the person being kind to me was absolutely convinced it was the nicest thing they could possibly do. They were shocked that I didn't take full advantage of their kindness because that is what they would have done. I was utterly humiliated.
Work colleagues were made fully aware that I did not want a leaving ceremony or a gift or any fuss.
They kept is secret and trapped me in a room.
I'll spare you the feelings I had about it.
So , 'Who was that lovely surprise for ? ' and was it really a kind thing to do ?
"
Finds trumpet and commences to blow.
An ex-colleague of mine had similar feelings to you. I got wind of a 'lovely surprise' so I warned her and she called in sick on her last day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am that kind of person. I don't need recognition, although this post might come across as though I do since I'm owning up to it.
I don't mind people who want some recognition. It's nice to be appreciated sometimes, especially when that kindness and thoughtfulness comes to friends and family you go out of your way for.
What I don't like is the social media type who do it purely to look good. I think the only good to come of it is that is it is raising awareness. But some people couldn't care less, they just want to show off. And it does grate on me, especially when you know exactly the type of person they are. |
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By *atin slutCouple
over a year ago
Cambridgshire. |
I lent my neighbour £6k to buy a car so he could work 2yrs ago, he has nearly paid it all off now, makes me feel good to see him in full time employment.
Yesturday, on the way to my shop, i helped a 73 year old guy get an ambulance as he couldn't move bless him, and yes i felt good that i did the right thing as other people were just ignoring this poor guy x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What I mean is - if another perceives you or your acts as kind then the act is kind.
If you alone perceive it as kind then it probably isn't.
See above …
Above what ?"
Bird tables |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm on the barbed wire with this.
I've been on the receiving end of acts of kindness that have left me feeling humiliated. Is that kind? Is it the intention of the kind or the feeling of the kindee that counts?
I think someone above suggested as long as both feel it has been kind….
How can you possibly know beforehand? In one particular incident the person being kind to me was absolutely convinced it was the nicest thing they could possibly do. They were shocked that I didn't take full advantage of their kindness because that is what they would have done. I was utterly humiliated. "
Who knows …. A gamble |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do a lot of things for people I know and strangers. Little or big, kindness goes a long way to everyone. I don't tell people what they are or when I've done them, kinda defeats the whole object if you have to broadcast it. Everyone just be a good person because you want to be, not because it makes good social media."
Bravo agreed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I lent my neighbour £6k to buy a car so he could work 2yrs ago, he has nearly paid it all off now, makes me feel good to see him in full time employment.
Yesturday, on the way to my shop, i helped a 73 year old guy get an ambulance as he couldn't move bless him, and yes i felt good that i did the right thing as other people were just ignoring this poor guy x"
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