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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I loathe “my dear”, “darling” or “babe”. I assume most terms of endearment used by the great men of fab (other sites are available) are generally used so they don’t have to remember your name  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I may not like some terms more than others, but I accept all terms in the manner that they are used, as in a term of endearment. I never get hissy over what word/term is used."
Not a fan of most terms of "endearment" to be honest. Find most creepy and inappropriate.
However, round of applause deserved here. Terms of endearment are in general ment as a compliment. Especially from gentlemen of a certain age. Although some are definitely inappropriate. I don't think we should tar everyone with the same brush. |
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I don't use any terms of endearment to any one else outside of Mrs DS. I am not endeared to anyone else. I feel no need to endear them nor make them uncomfortable doing so. It would make me uncomfortable doing it anyway. No. Just no.
That said, I do get called "my dear", or "my love" by others. Always some possessive noun of some sort. I don't say anything, I ignore it, but I hate it with a vehemence. I am not anyone's possessive object. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't use any terms of endearment to any one else outside of Mrs DS. I am not endeared to anyone else. I feel no need to endear them nor make them uncomfortable doing so. It would make me uncomfortable doing it anyway. No. Just no.
That said, I do get called "my dear", or "my love" by others. Always some possessive noun of some sort. I don't say anything, I ignore it, but I hate it with a vehemence. I am not anyone's possessive object."
I totally understand this. But surely context comes into it?
I often visit roll shops for example and get called darling, honey or babe from the people serving me. Generally women, should I take offence to this?
Or see it as it is? An innocent term of endearment passed on through the habit of those before them?
An innocent engagement with no connotations implied. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to take words in the spirit they're said. I don't think it is fair on other people for me to get annoyed or aggravated by something that was said by them in innocence. If someone wants to call me darling or love out of habit of using those words then I'm not going to get upset. There are routinely threads on here about words that annoy, irritate, aggrevate etc and I have to admit I mostly find them a puzzle. I cannot control the words a person uses any more than I can control their accent. I can certainly be irritated by an attitude they have but not by the words used to project that attitude.
If someone is using these terms in a way I don't like it will inevitably be because their choice of words, the thoughts they express, body language and/or behavoir all convey a message I don't like - this could be over familiarity, a misplaced sense of mutual affection or even condescension.
I tend not to use words of endearment outside of my own relationship- it feels strange to do so but I understand for others it is normal.
Mr |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I try to take words in the spirit they're said. I don't think it is fair on other people for me to get annoyed or aggravated by something that was said by them in innocence. If someone wants to call me darling or love out of habit of using those words then I'm not going to get upset. There are routinely threads on here about words that annoy, irritate, aggrevate etc and I have to admit I mostly find them a puzzle. I cannot control the words a person uses any more than I can control their accent. I can certainly be irritated by an attitude they have but not by the words used to project that attitude.
If someone is using these terms in a way I don't like it will inevitably be because their choice of words, the thoughts they express, body language and/or behavoir all convey a message I don't like - this could be over familiarity, a misplaced sense of mutual affection or even condescension.
I tend not to use words of endearment outside of my own relationship- it feels strange to do so but I understand for others it is normal.
Mr"
Far too much sense and it's not even 7am. I did find before I'd get irritated by hun but now I don't care. Think it's because I'm getting on a bit - I'd rather focus on the intent behind it. I love terms of endearments that are specific for me. Like Frizz. Every time a friend calls me that I get a warm glow, like he sees the real me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really think any of them bother me that much. If they're meant to endear then then I would assume it was said with good intentions. Although I can understand the attitude that some may not want that from people they don't know. |
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"I totally understand this. But surely context comes into it?
I often visit roll shops for example and get called darling, honey or babe from the people serving me. Generally women, should I take offence to this?
Or see it as it is? An innocent term of endearment passed on through the habit of those before them?
An innocent engagement with no connotations implied. "
Context as you rightly say is everything.
It's not for me to say whether you should get offended by what others call you in any context. That's your call to make and I respect your choice.
In my situation, I smile outwardly and carry on normally. I cannot control what they say, nor would I want to, but I can control a projected response, and that is to be polite and pleasant, as they would expect.
Everyone wins.
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