FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why it's so hard
Why it's so hard
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why it's so hard to get reply's from women. "
It's a tough market for single guys.
My only advice, patience, always read profiles carefully before messaging and don't copy paste messages.
It can take single guys a long time to get their first meet.
I found I got more meets through the forums than I did messaging.
Clubs are also often a better bet than messaging because people see the real person behind the profile.
Keep at it and take your time.
Winston |
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Women get lots of messages is all I can think of! I look at profile of messenger and only open message if I think I might b interested! Harsh I know when peeps gone to trouble of messaging! But find best option x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why it's so hard to get reply's from women.
What are your messages like? Most of the ones we get are dreadful and deservedly get binned immediately. Are yours worth replying to? "
This.
One liners and/or a picture if your cock is an instant delete.
Same goes for copied and pasted messages.  |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Flipping 'eck Op you've only been here 5 mins. Give yer self a break.
Or in Van Halen terms: "Come on Dave give me a break...."
If I were you I'd loose the Obi-Wan Kenobi pics or save it for a Star Wars thread or Comic Con posts!
Yer spiel is good! You got a good height ratio for a dude that some women like. Do some suit pics that compliment your spiel????
I'd do Dublin if it were me. Love the place. There's got to be banging pubs/ food restaurants to meet in surely?
But you decide.... its your profile.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought this would be why is my cock so hard.
Chatting to a couple of lovely girls, (which is reason my cock is so hard) conversation, humour, honesty, not just looking for sex?"
I thought it was gonna be an educational post explaining why..... it's titled "Why it's so hard" |
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By *ANDA!Man
over a year ago
DUMFRIES |
Why it's so hard to get reply's from women? Because single males outnumber single females probably 20 to 1. That's a lot of messages to filter through. Take a no reply as a no thanks and move on. Even better idea is something I was told many moons ago. Once you send a message delete it at your end. Then you're not tempted to keep going to check if it's even been read and it won't get your back up if it's unread or unanswered. Worked for me in the early days |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I agree that women gets lots of txt, but when u send them txt which is not one sentence long. And required be answered why just they ignoring to make a simple answer. As in my txt i include that type of question "if you are happy to continue to have a conversation please let me know. If not as well please type just no" |
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"I agree that women gets lots of txt, but when u send them txt which is not one sentence long. And required be answered why just they ignoring to make a simple answer. As in my txt i include that type of question "if you are happy to continue to have a conversation please let me know. If not as well please type just no""
Probably because when we've politely declined in the past, people have continued to send messages trying to get us to engage, or have replied with some quite vile abuse. As you don't know what kind of person you are potentially replying to, it's safest not to reply, per site guidelines. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree that women gets lots of txt, but when u send them txt which is not one sentence long. And required be answered why just they ignoring to make a simple answer. As in my txt i include that type of question "if you are happy to continue to have a conversation please let me know. If not as well please type just no""
This annoys me more than anything, don't tell me what to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree that women gets lots of txt, but when u send them txt which is not one sentence long. And required be answered why just they ignoring to make a simple answer. As in my txt i include that type of question "if you are happy to continue to have a conversation please let me know. If not as well please type just no""
No reply = no. Does it matter if you get it in writing?
Replying allows someone to bypass any future filters.
I replied no to someone earlier, he then followed up with another 4 messages and said if I wanted him to stop messaging then I was to stop replying. We can't win no matter which way we manage the inbox  |
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By *ANDA!Man
over a year ago
DUMFRIES |
"2 months in, I’m guessing expectation massively outweighed reality "
To be fair I think it does with most people. I know when I joined it did, but then I was sold on the idea if joining from a female friend of a friend so she sold me it on her experience, which we all know is the other end of the scale from single males |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a month in and still waiting for my first meet. I’ve chatted to a couple of nice ladies and hopefully got a social on the cards after holiday season. I guess you just need to be patient and keeping trying  |
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"I agree that women gets lots of txt, but when u send them txt which is not one sentence long. And required be answered why just they ignoring to make a simple answer. As in my txt i include that type of question "if you are happy to continue to have a conversation please let me know. If not as well please type just no""
It’s in the helpful tips on the admin page that no reply is a no.
Do you respond to every flyer selling pizza’s, stair lifts, over 65’s insurance, that comes through your door? If not, why not…even just to say no! 
You haven’t asked for profile advice so I won’t give it but I’d say 99.9% of people who start these types of threads don’t have an appealing profile that stands out from the sea of 1,000’s of guys on this site…
Personality goes a long way on here and being respectful
K
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Most ladies on here are Inundated with messages. It doesn't matter how well you right a message, it's weather or not they see or then decide to answer... If answered every message, no time would be left to do anything, hence fab rules.. no reply means move on. |
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"I agree that women gets lots of txt, but when u send them txt which is not one sentence long. And required be answered why just they ignoring to make a simple answer. As in my txt i include that type of question "if you are happy to continue to have a conversation please let me know. If not as well please type just no""
If they don’t reply that is a no.
On a previous thread a woman had 360 unread messages. To just spend 20 seconds opening and sending “no thanks” to all of those would have taken her at least 2 hours…
Plus if you reply to someone it creates a conversation chain, which means if you filter your inbox at a later stage they can bypass the filter. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Why it's so hard to get reply's from women.
What are your messages like? Most of the ones we get are dreadful and deservedly get binned immediately. Are yours worth replying to? "
This absolutely  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes that what I mean "
No idea then as I delete either after I have read or after I have replied. I like a tidy (in)box 
The only time I don't delete a message right away is if I want time to think of a response but then I mark it as unread so the sender doesn't think I've left them on read.
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"Wonder what would happen if all the men decided correctly that its not worth theor while and pulled their profile all at the same time for a month?"
Fantastic idea, would give couples potentially more opportunities…
How can we make this happen |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"I agree that women gets lots of txt, but when u send them txt which is not one sentence long. And required be answered why just they ignoring to make a simple answer. As in my txt i include that type of question "if you are happy to continue to have a conversation please let me know. If not as well please type just no""
A no reply is a no op
Just delete your sent items and any reply is a bonus
People won't reply because they're told to I'm afraid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what would happen if all the men decided correctly that its not worth theor while and pulled their profile all at the same time for a month?
Fantastic idea, would give couples potentially more opportunities…
How can we make this happen "
You can all just block messages from single guys. When they can't send any they'll all be off. Sorted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100 to 200 men per woman ...mmmm i wonder why its hard ??? then on top of that you have to attract someone and then get on via meassages ..... for guys swinging is very much a rejection game and with men flooding/joining on here daily increasing the numbers more then its going to be impossible for some men as someone has already said its bleak for men .... there is NOT someone for everyone on this scene not by a zillion miles .... |
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"Why it's so hard to get reply's from women. "
You haven’t replied to every comment that has been out on this post? Why would you not bother replying to every comment even just to say thanks for input….oh wait you can’t be bothered/dont want to/don’t have time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what would happen if all the men decided correctly that its not worth theor while and pulled their profile all at the same time for a month?"
if 95% of men did this there would still be to many men ..it really is that simple
and take into account how many couples profiles are men and how many womens profiles are men that means theres even less women and couple on there than thought..
the whole site could collaspes but women would still get meets its really that easy with clubs and or a night on the town |
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"Ffs say women, would ye just reply to these bloody messages and save us all the monotony.
I dont care if ye have a day job, family, lives, hobbies etc.
Get yer priorities straight"
I'll try harder |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Read profiles, send a polite message and include a face pic.
You women all think with your flaps and then wonder why men don’t respond to the hundreds of messages they get every day |
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"Wonder what would happen if all the men decided correctly that its not worth theor while and pulled their profile all at the same time for a month?
Fantastic idea, would give couples potentially more opportunities…
How can we make this happen
You can all just block messages from single guys. When they can't send any they'll all be off. Sorted "
Thanks fella did that from day one,
Might unblock one day & take bets on the number off dic pic’s we might get |
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Two months is nothing in the life of FAB
Just enjoy the experience
Join in on forums
Get to a social
You haven't asked for specific profile advice but think of it as a shop window..
I want to be enticed in with something, erotic and different
I don't want dull photos that sho no imagination, nor do i want to be part of anyones 18-99 group !
Have a mooch
See what others offer
Then re evaluate your shop front |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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amazes me men get given the answer;s yet still tryto blame something else ...
if your getting nowhere thats because no one is interested see not only do you have to attract you have to do so with lots and lots of competition
attraction ...personality .. how you put your self across ... being genuine and one of the good guys mean nothing .... being the right person at the right time and putting the effot in means everything... as long as you can get past the fact there are zillions of men per women
ps even if women were gagging for it they wont lower there preference to get it so guys when you keep telling everyone you need your balls emptied very very view women will be interested |
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"Ffs say women, would ye just reply to these bloody messages and save us all the monotony.
I dont care if ye have a day job, family, lives, hobbies etc.
Get yer priorities straight
I'll try harder "
Good girl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I still think this needs a faq.
Basically, it's hard because you are not what anyone you've messaged is looking for.
Be better, more selective and realistic.
We can argue the toss, and we do, regularly, about the ins and outs, whys and whats. Essentially, it's simple, if you don't like the game and can't figure out the correct strategies, no amount of advice will help.
You get it or don't, figuratively and literally.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why it's so hard to get reply's from women. "
Your still new here right, welcome and be patient have a laugh in the forum and go on cam if that’s your thing,
Plus there are sooooooooooooooooooo many of us single men on this site and not as many ladies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree that women gets lots of txt, but when u send them txt which is not one sentence long. And required be answered why just they ignoring to make a simple answer. As in my txt i include that type of question "if you are happy to continue to have a conversation please let me know. If not as well please type just no"
This annoys me more than anything, don't tell me what to reply. "
Me too. Reduces the chance of me replying even further |
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