FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you think dating has changed?
Do you think dating has changed?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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While talking to multiple people on different occasions this weekend a lot of people have been saying a similar thing.
I think dating has changed and more and more people are locked onto what is going on with their phone.
Long gone are the days where it was the norm to ask people out or I have found people to be very closed and in their own world. What are your thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dating never existed when i was young you would go clubbing get laid if you woke up and she was alright you would have another go the next week until you found a keeper or ended up getting her preggers |
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"I'm too old for that rubbish
Just a quick how's your father then back to bed with a bottle and netflix
That's why I'm here  "
If it's any consolation, I'm pretty much ignored where ever I go. I just dont have the confidence to carry myself in way that seems remotely attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm too old for that rubbish
Just a quick how's your father then back to bed with a bottle and netflix
That's why I'm here
If it's any consolation, I'm pretty much ignored where ever I go. I just dont have the confidence to carry myself in way that seems remotely attractive. "
Stick with us at the socials and after a few tequila shots you'll soon be dancing naked on a podium  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While talking to multiple people on different occasions this weekend a lot of people have been saying a similar thing.
I think dating has changed and more and more people are locked onto what is going on with their phone.
Long gone are the days where it was the norm to ask people out or I have found people to be very closed and in their own world. What are your thoughts?"
Online is fine and can work out I’ve had successful relationships from online, but I find a man approaching me in a non sexual environment (like not a pub/club) is really attractive and shows confidence.
A man who approaches me face to face would def be higher in my rankings - I like a man who goes for what he wants and doesn’t second guess himself! |
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"I'm too old for that rubbish
Just a quick how's your father then back to bed with a bottle and netflix
That's why I'm here
If it's any consolation, I'm pretty much ignored where ever I go. I just dont have the confidence to carry myself in way that seems remotely attractive.
Stick with us at the socials and after a few tequila shots you'll soon be dancing naked on a podium "
No, undomesticated equines couldnt get me onto a dance floor. I'll certainly have the tequilla though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm too old for that rubbish
Just a quick how's your father then back to bed with a bottle and netflix
That's why I'm here
If it's any consolation, I'm pretty much ignored where ever I go. I just dont have the confidence to carry myself in way that seems remotely attractive. "
I NEVER get hit on in real life.
At least here I can lure the hot guys in with filtered pics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm too old for that rubbish
Just a quick how's your father then back to bed with a bottle and netflix
That's why I'm here
If it's any consolation, I'm pretty much ignored where ever I go. I just dont have the confidence to carry myself in way that seems remotely attractive.
I NEVER get hit on in real life.
At least here I can lure the hot guys in with filtered pics. "
Never? Do you just walk around with your eyes wide shut? |
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"I'm too old for that rubbish
Just a quick how's your father then back to bed with a bottle and netflix
That's why I'm here
If it's any consolation, I'm pretty much ignored where ever I go. I just dont have the confidence to carry myself in way that seems remotely attractive.
I NEVER get hit on in real life.
At least here I can lure the hot guys in with filtered pics. "
The honeydew of fab. Still, it's better than pond  |
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"I'm too old for that rubbish
Just a quick how's your father then back to bed with a bottle and netflix
That's why I'm here
If it's any consolation, I'm pretty much ignored where ever I go. I just dont have the confidence to carry myself in way that seems remotely attractive.
I NEVER get hit on in real life.
At least here I can lure the hot guys in with filtered pics.
The honeydew of fab. Still, it's better than pond w*ed "
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As I’ve got older I’ve found it harder and harder to date as we all get set in our ways.
The women I’ve met on dating sites want to ‘take it slowly’ (but later admit they didn’t really want to), then they start treating me like I’m an idiot.
Maybe it’s a power thing for them, but I spot it quickly and cut my losses. I’d love to meet ‘the one’, but I’m starting to realise she’s not out there.
I’m not entirely sure what my point is, but it’s certainly not like it was before we were all so instantly replaceable, sadly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it has changed, we live in a disposable society, unfortunately most guys and gals don't give a person a chance as they always looking over the shoulder for the next bright thing that catches their eye |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm too old for that rubbish
Just a quick how's your father then back to bed with a bottle and netflix
That's why I'm here
If it's any consolation, I'm pretty much ignored where ever I go. I just dont have the confidence to carry myself in way that seems remotely attractive.
I NEVER get hit on in real life.
At least here I can lure the hot guys in with filtered pics.
Never? Do you just walk around with your eyes wide shut?"
Well that would be a stupid idea. |
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" I find a man approaching me in a non sexual environment (like not a pub/club) is really attractive and shows confidence.
A man who approaches me face to face would def be higher in my rankings - I like a man who goes for what he wants and doesn’t second guess himself! "
That’s very interesting. From a bloke’s point of view it’s one of the more daunting scenarios, but potentially one of the more successful… |
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Massively... I've done internet dating for years now, from when POF was first around and actually quite good!
These days people have too much choice, when you can search for anyone anywhere in the country/world. They're always looking for the next best thing.
And so many guys don't know how to date... They can't even arrange a day, time and place... They put in so little effort. It's disheartening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't do online dating anymore, but I think there's a lot of 'rules' these days. So many online articles about what's the right time frame to text after a date, how many dates before you have sex, etc. Reddits where people can share their tinder messages to either get feedback or be brutal about the poster. All seems so complicated.
All of my serious relationships have come from meeting people in a social setting, so I'll stick with that. |
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"Massively... I've done internet dating for years now, from when POF was first around and actually quite good!
These days people have too much choice, when you can search for anyone anywhere in the country/world. They're always looking for the next best thing.
And so many guys don't know how to date... They can't even arrange a day, time and place... They put in so little effort. It's disheartening."
I totally agree PoF used to be pretty good. Maybe guys these days are too scared to put a foot wrong? We’re hearing lots about equality (in many directions) and maybe it’s making us over-cautious?
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"I don't do online dating anymore, but I think there's a lot of 'rules' these days. So many online articles about what's the right time frame to text after a date, how many dates before you have sex, etc. Reddits where people can share their tinder messages to either get feedback or be brutal about the poster. All seems so complicated.
All of my serious relationships have come from meeting people in a social setting, so I'll stick with that. "
Another interesting viewpoint!
The internet is a wonderful (terrible) place to get dating advice for what is always a unique scenario.
I wonder how many of us have been swerved just because ‘Google said…..’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely has changed. I have old fashioned values when it comes to dating. However, today's day and age makes it a lot more difficult to meet someone, especially at my age now. |
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I think people tend to look for dates within their own social networks, amongst people they know and trust. Online dating has such a bad reputation for money scams and nutcases!
I must admit as a mature single woman I have absolutely no inclination to complicate my life by bringing someone else into it. I don’t want someone else’s kids/grandkids to suddenly take over! 
Fab suits me fine and there are some pretty sexy guys here when you know where to find them |
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"I think people tend to look for dates within their own social networks, amongst people they know and trust. Online dating has such a bad reputation for money scams and nutcases!
I must admit as a mature single woman I have absolutely no inclination to complicate my life by bringing someone else into it. I don’t want someone else’s kids/grandkids to suddenly take over!
Fab suits me fine and there are some pretty sexy guys here when you know where to find them "
I agree with this too (I’m very malleable it seems)
Personally I’m a great catch! No kids (and therefore no grandkids) no emotional baggage etc, but these days it’s all about the ageing parents with dementia etc holding me back.
Brutal, but honest.
Form an orderly queue please? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems to be or at least I get the impression that no one wants to date anymore. They only want to hook up for sex. I honestly don't know what I would do if someone asked me out on a proper date, probably panic lol as it's been a long time since I was on one. I'm out of the loop where dating is concerned x |
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"Seems to be or at least I get the impression that no one wants to date anymore. They only want to hook up for sex. I honestly don't know what I would do if someone asked me out on a proper date, probably panic lol as it's been a long time since I was on one. I'm out of the loop where dating is concerned x"
This is proving to be a very thought-provoking thread, as far as I’m concerned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be or at least I get the impression that no one wants to date anymore. They only want to hook up for sex. I honestly don't know what I would do if someone asked me out on a proper date, probably panic lol as it's been a long time since I was on one. I'm out of the loop where dating is concerned x
This is proving to be a very thought-provoking thread, as far as I’m concerned. "
Like you I'm also at the stage of parents in declining health so that takes priority in some respects x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be or at least I get the impression that no one wants to date anymore. They only want to hook up for sex. I honestly don't know what I would do if someone asked me out on a proper date, probably panic lol as it's been a long time since I was on one. I'm out of the loop where dating is concerned x"
I don't get asked on anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be or at least I get the impression that no one wants to date anymore. They only want to hook up for sex. I honestly don't know what I would do if someone asked me out on a proper date, probably panic lol as it's been a long time since I was on one. I'm out of the loop where dating is concerned x
I don't get asked on anything "
I know how that feels  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be or at least I get the impression that no one wants to date anymore. They only want to hook up for sex. I honestly don't know what I would do if someone asked me out on a proper date, probably panic lol as it's been a long time since I was on one. I'm out of the loop where dating is concerned x
I don't get asked on anything
I know how that feels "
It's not good , been long time since had date or sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't dated in a long time but was asked out recently out and about in the park of all places found it refreshing someone asking to my face, reminded me of when people used to ask you out pre internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone said it's a disposable world now. People think the next best thing is round the corner. Technology has taken over on a large part. Some people are afraid as everything is PC now. Risk of allegations. Ghosting so people feel disheartened. Everything is put on social media now to shame/embarasse people. After all that: anyone want a date?    |
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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago
Sent to Coventry |
I came off Fab and tried dating. I’ve not been approached by a potential date when out for probably 25 years. So I tried a couple of dating websites. I had a couple of dates but the men I met seemed to be looking for an exact replacement of their ex partners or were mentally scarred by their ex partners. I gave up and came back here. I’m obviously not meant to have a life partner |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
I am a widower. Went on some dating sites in lockdown , yes still on them. The one thing I have noticed. The amount of females age 18 - 30 who are on them. They are single ( no children to restrict going out etc) Plus have photo’s with friends . Seems more rely on apps than meeting in person. ? |
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Of course it's changed, like everything online is the way now but even that has changed.
We've been together 14 years and met through PoF. My profile (M) was literally one shirtless photo and about 2 lines of text. It got plenty of interest but now days that just isn't going to fly.
Now you're looking at a carefully curated gallery of images, smart bio and painstakingly crafted opening lines.
Even here, as a couple, it can feel like hard work to generate interest so on the bigger, more general sites it must almost be a full time job. |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"I hope it's changed.
How can dating remain suspended in time when all has changed around it?"
I agree - like everything else, be it taxis, financial services, shopping... of course dating would also be "disrupted".
But you should really use online as search only. The rest can still be as old fashioned as you like.
Google YouTube and Ester Perel. She talks about the impact online has had on relationships and what kind of conversations you should be having with your partner in this modern age.
I wanted a new fridge freezer. I set my expectations and I went online. Found a couple in local Currys PC World and I went to take a real look. In person, what I thought I wanted wasn't that important. So I modified my expectations and searched again. Now I have a lovely fridge freezer and I am damn sure it's the best in the market for me.
A fear of all trans woman (I'm full time TS) is never finding the right partner. But online I can trawl for niche searches. It takes the headache out of having that awkward "do you know I'm trans" conversation if/when get chatted up in the pub. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes very much so, I’ve tried the dating apps and though I get a lot of interest I just can’t get on with the online conversation. Plus when men find out I come with a lot of baggage and I’m not a rich old bird they quickly lose interest x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I joined Tinder recently one guy I matched with was only in the area as he was visiting VA that night and is on here. Another just sent me horny face emojis and then unmatched and another wrote me a story of what he’d like to do me and when I asked did that work for him he said it had in the past.
Everyone seems to just want instant sex with no connection so I’ve given up. |
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"Yes. Women have more choice. There is less comprise in the perfect partner. People seem addicted to the getting to know you, then will move onto the next one. "
I don't think it's an "addiction". Relationships are based on emotional connections and once that starts fizzling out and neither party can make time for each other or it is just boring then it is time to move on. Being in a relationship or embarking on a relationship is meant to bring out the best in you, new experiences and joy on lots of levels. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope it's changed.
How can dating remain suspended in time when all has changed around it?
I agree - like everything else, be it taxis, financial services, shopping... of course dating would also be "disrupted".
But you should really use online as search only. The rest can still be as old fashioned as you like.
Google YouTube and Ester Perel. She talks about the impact online has had on relationships and what kind of conversations you should be having with your partner in this modern age.
I wanted a new fridge freezer. I set my expectations and I went online. Found a couple in local Currys PC World and I went to take a real look. In person, what I thought I wanted wasn't that important. So I modified my expectations and searched again. Now I have a lovely fridge freezer and I am damn sure it's the best in the market for me."
I really like this analogy and actually think it’s worth a try, so basically I could check out who’s local on tinder and just meet them naturally without ever doing the online back n forth - like if I know a catch is single n I’d be interested in a date I could just plan to meet out in rl, through mutual friends or random local pub/shop n chance my luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve personally found on here by far the best place for dating. Tinder and Bumble is far too frustrating as many match and don’t talk.
Whereas on here, subject to message filters, anyone can message anyone they are interested in. Can also be much more open although as it’s for dating, if the talk got sexual v quickly that would be a red flag against us both wanting the same.
I’ve had a few dates and it’s been very encouraging. Just have to be upfront in your profile and say what you’re looking for. I’ve been incredibly surprised by the number of messages I’ve received. The majority genuinely wanting a relationship too. |
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Clearly online dating has changed, but so has meeting someone in the physical world. People in a bar are too preoccupied in taking photos for the 'gram than being interested in meeting someone.
Meet someone at work and you risk being at the wrong end of a disciplinary if something goes wrong.
Strike up a conversation with a stranger and risk being branded a pest. |
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The guy should always pay !
its basically a new version of ugg ugg 