 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Because i like to use it to fuel my rage at the right times on the field iv spent 3 years unloading my stress and it didnt change anything real in my life infact it lead to a more certain end for me my so called venting so bottle my rage as fuel bit like the waterboy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I share when I feel that it will help but more often than not I'm happy to process my feelings and deal with things on my own. I'm all for sharing and being open and honest, but I don't think it hurts to exercise a little stoicism.
Bottling up your emotions is of course very unhealthy. If I'm encountering problems without understanding why or how to deal with them, then for sure I'm getting help.
For the most part though I feel like you've just got to be very realistic, honest and pragmatic within yourself, in that you tend to find a place where you can understand and contextualise your feelings, from there you can begin working to address them.
I'm just one guy though, everyone is different and thinks differently, everyone has a unique experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *91kMan
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"....why do we bottle our shit up so much. We need to chat more. If you're going bad times speak to your mates. There's always someone that will listen. "
The problem for some I believe, is that the situation that causes us stress/anxiety/pain etc, isn't always fixable. The logical answer to that is to come to terms with the situation, which is easier said than done of course... Talking to someone can help with that massively, it's crossing that barrier that some struggle with
Personally, I take my shit out in the gym. Headphones on, don't speak to a soul and just throw some iron around. Keeps me chill enough and helps more than trying to talk to someone. But that's just me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I'd did I would have exploded years ago. I learnt in my previous job we need a few beers, a safe place and a good unload. And in my experience guys are desperate to have a safe place and an ear to unload on (no pub intended). For years now I've been very open about my shit and vulnerabilities. What I've found in response is guys then see that, come to you and often share theirs. People bond over imperfections and vulnerabilities not strength and success. So I've become over time more attuned to when a guy is in a bad way (tackled some dark spaces myself) (also no mean feat learning to spot such things when your on the spectrum). So if a guy is in need don't leave him at sea alone. Break down your defences, open up yourself first, let him know your open for a beer/tea and to chat shit. If your open many guys who need an ear will open up in return. I doesn't matter if you can't give advice (and maybe you shouldn't anyways) but the opportunity to say problems out loud and have someone to go over them with them is priceless. I know from personal experience the value of being able to do this. It can make a huge difference. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"....why do we bottle our shit up so much. We need to chat more. If you're going bad times speak to your mates. There's always someone that will listen. "
I dont bottle stuff up really but i dont really talk to guy friends about truly deep stuff much. Save that for my female friends who i am more comfortable crying in front of! No idea why but since i was about 20 and learned to open up its 99% only with the women in my life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"....why do we bottle our shit up so much. We need to chat more. If you're going bad times speak to your mates. There's always someone that will listen. "
Well thank your parents and society it is only the last 10 years not even that that is been acceptable for men to open up with their feelings.
Just look at suicide rate is much greater in men.
Will it change?
Partly yes but it's still an instinct for men not talk about their emotions.
Yes some of us will open up but most will never realy fully open up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
