FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Saying no
Saying no
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"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
A delete or block is a no. Deal with it. Youre not owed a response for your unsolicited messages. |
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Just take a deleted message as a no thanks op
I don't get loads of messages (filters) so I do reply to people who have read my profile.
Some women get so much mail a day that they can't get through it all,then when you do say no thanks the why nots start.
Delete all sent mail from your outbox and any reply will be a bonus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find..
Not interested then?
????????????????????
If you answer ill leave you alone
Wuu2?
I know you wont answer but hi again
????????????????????
Was it something I said?
all that a little ruder but that's just me. |
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"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
You are about a reply?
No reply means NO.
Moaning about it just doesn't look good on here.... |
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I can see a point here.... It's is polite to reply with a no and maybe some feedback. Some do, some don't.
I always reply, but I'm polite. Doesn't bother me too much of someone doesn't ?? ok, maybe I'm a little sad  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
Should cry about it a little more - that will help  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you get blocked then get over it.
You can consider it rude if you like, but it's still your problem -- and if you didn't read the profile, you probably asked for it.
Personally I will block people on the strength of a wink if they haven't read what I've written -- it's not that I get a shitload of attention, I don't, but I really have low tolerance for people who cannot read. |
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"I can see a point here.... It's is polite to reply with a no and maybe some feedback. Some do, some don't.
I always reply, but I'm polite. Doesn't bother me too much of someone doesn't ?? ok, maybe I'm a little sad "
But at a guess you aren't getting hundreds of messages a day from people who clearly don't read your profile. |
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I can see why you feel like it is rude because it would feel like the virtual equivalent of saying hi to someone at a bar and they literally run away and hide.
But you have to imagine every woman on here gets loads of messages every day, even ones that have one blurry picture of their leg do (I assume).
They can’t say no thanks to 100 guys a day it would take up so much time. Plus 15 of those 100 would be cry babies that keep messaging back asking ‘why not though I am amazing’ thinking they can change their mind.
No reply is a no, blocking you is a no, deleting the message is a no.
Women hold the power here, they reply to who they want and when they want, so just focus on finding one that wants to reply to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you get deleted or blocked then think of it as a narrowing of your search, put the boot on the other door and imagine you get a thousand messages daily, it’s too much to process and sort, if I blocked in my head I say thank you because at least it’s a response |
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By *iss E99TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Taunton Somerset |
"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
It depends, when people don’t have the decency to read your profile or just ignore what’s in your profile. This is normally obvious from their mail, then no they don’t deserve a reply.
However if someone takes the the time to send a thoughtful mail and not just done crappy one liner, then they’ll get a reply even if it’s to say no thanks.
As for blocking I only tend to block people who won’t take no for an answer and keep sending mails even after I’ve clearly said I’m not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We usually reply, we very rarely block.
However, this has its downside.
Sometimes we receive more messages trying to change our mind or asking can we chat anyway.
We have also received nasty responses as a result.
Because we don't tend to block, we also receive the same copy and paste message several times, often within a couple of days and on occasion, the same day (shrugs).
We sometimes receive a polite thank you for our response, kind of reply and sometimes we receive no reply, which begs the question ...... Is it ignorant to not respond to a polite no thank you?.
Until you have been the receiver of such messages, you'll only see your point of view.
I'm the frequently asked questions on this site, it expresses it's not impolite to not reply and that we should accept a no reply as a no.
It also goes on to say if you find this is very frequent, maybe look at your approach to the site |
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"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
Sometimes it is too much, yes.
You have no idea what someone is going through.
Additionally, the fab FAQ is clear on this. A delete *is* a "no, thanks." |
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Also if you want a taste of your own medicine, you are straight yes? Turn your filter of gay/bi guys messaging you off, see them all come flooding in with messages to suck your cock or guys trying to ‘turn you’ for one night only… then you will know the pain of not wanting to reply to each message.
I think when I first joined I got about 8 messages in the first hour all from guys and thought screw this how do I stop these messages, then found filters.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also if you want a taste of your own medicine, you are straight yes? Turn your filter of gay/bi guys messaging you off, see them all come flooding in with messages to suck your cock or guys trying to ‘turn you’ for one night only… then you will know the pain of not wanting to reply to each message.
I think when I first joined I got about 8 messages in the first hour all from guys and thought screw this how do I stop these messages, then found filters.
"
Go one better, in addition change your sexuality to bi.
Then see how many messages and the kind of content you receive.
Now imagine you're a woman or couple a woman, then you'll have an idea. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
When cold callers ring, do you hangup straight away, or let them go through their spiel and then politely say no thank you? |
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"A no response it's a answer,but they also could be busy.so if you don't hear anything in few days don't worry about it.just move forward to the next one  "
A few days?! In our experience, most guys can't wait more than a few hours! |
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Just a question for anyone who thinks that not replying or blocking is impolite.
I have written on my profile, no straight guys, now when I get messages from straight guys, in your opinion what should I do ?
On average I get between 5-15 messages a day. Depending on how long I’ve been on the site that day. So nowhere close to what a woman would receive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use the block quite a bit, I block ladies that read and don't reply. Not out of some weird power trip.
But just so I know not to message them again.
Some I don't if we might chat away about other stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question for anyone who thinks that not replying or blocking is impolite.
I have written on my profile, no straight guys, now when I get messages from straight guys, in your opinion what should I do ?
On average I get between 5-15 messages a day. Depending on how long I’ve been on the site that day. So nowhere close to what a woman would receive. "
It's possible they don't consider themselves straight, just feared to announce their sexuality on their profile.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
A delete, block or no reply is the same answer as no thanks  |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
Yes, it’s too much to ask, if you can’t handle constant brutal rejection then you’re on the wrong site. |
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By *_Mr.K_xMan
over a year ago
North Worcestershire |
Everyone is clambering and striving for attention... in an ideal world, yeah it would be nice to get a 'no thanks' or a reply for every message you send, I see your point...
However, it's just not going to happen. The amount of messages that women get to men is a ratio of about 100-1 if not more so it's unfortunately something you're going to have to get used to.
Personally, I've always replied from all sorts of people, women, men, couples etc kindly saying thank you, but no thanks. Happy fabbing! I always try to be polite if I can |
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I replied to someone with a polite no thank you yesterday and got the response I was too fat anyway. When I called him out he just kept saying I was beautiful and he didn’t mean it. Then came out the classic ‘it was only a joke ffs’
No reply is easier. Damned if we do damned if we don’t. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
Would it be such a more pleasant experience to receive a No thank you, as often as you receive a No reply? |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts
Would it be such a more pleasant experience to receive a No thank you, as often as you receive a No reply?"
Yes, but I accept that some people get hundreds of messages a day and expecting them to reply to them all is unreasonable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends what sort of message you send me as to what I do. If you ignore my profile, send dick pics, talk in text speak, are downright rude or vulgar, I block. If it's a simple thank you, but no thank you to a nice message, then I'll message back saying so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the sender includes a face pic, or has one on their profile, we always reply if we're not interested. So far we haven't had any shitty responses, which is refreshing as the forums sometimes paint a negative picture.
If the guy doesn't include a face pic, we delete without reply. It shows they haven't read our profile or don't care about its contents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In fairness there are some completely deluded and arrogant people on the site who have massive egos writing checks their body most definitely cannot cash. "
Are you talking about fat chicks?  |
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I used to reply to unsolicited messages saying thanks but not for me, but by the time I'd finished writing one message, another 20 were in my inbox. Most of them just say "hi" or "meet now?" so my reply declining was longer than their initial message.
Then the replies would come in saying "why not?!" "But I'm horny/local/sexy)"
I now simply don't reply unless it was a decent first message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We personally don't block unless they are crude or just plain mean.
But some people use the block button as a filter so they don't come across you again which isn't a bad idea as it stops them coming across you again if your not what they're looking for.
Miss S x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. I get to choose how to manage my own messages in my own time. Anyone who has voluntarily sent me a message doesn't get to tell me how to respond to it. |
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"No. I get to choose how to manage my own messages in my own time. Anyone who has voluntarily sent me a message doesn't get to tell me how to respond to it. "
This. Sending a message to someone doesn’t entitle you to a response. |
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"I find..
Not interested then?
????????????????????
If you answer ill leave you alone
Wuu2?
I know you wont answer but hi again
????????????????????
Was it something I said?
all that a little ruder but that's just me. "
This
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. I get to choose how to manage my own messages in my own time. Anyone who has voluntarily sent me a message doesn't get to tell me how to respond to it. "
Reply to my message NOW! |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
Way too much to ask.
I stupidly stayed logged in after midnight yesterday. The standard of messages was significantly below what I'd expect a blindfolded, one handed chimpanzee to type on a keyboard with just six keys.
Nothing would have motivated me to reply to any of them, bar the offer of a double gobby wank from Rihanna and Shakira followed by a full body massage from a naked Margot Robbie.
So nope. It's perfectly acceptable to ignore, delete and block those who think something along the lines of 'Up for a fuck now?' is a perfect opening message at 1am.
A |
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"I can see a point here.... It's is polite to reply with a no and maybe some feedback. Some do, some don't.
I always reply, but I'm polite. Doesn't bother me too much of someone doesn't ?? ok, maybe I'm a little sad "
If you listed a new photo how many messages does it create
Vs say a woman doing the same
Sometimes its about time
In an ideal world yes lets all reply to everyone
But we cant, we have lives
One no thanks could result in 5 more why, please, or name calling
Sometimes its just easier to delete and block (because otherwise we get the message x days down the line and go through the process again!)
Not responding doesn't make the women rude
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts
A delete or block is a no. Deal with it. Youre not owed a response for your unsolicited messages. "
Unsolicited messages?
Isn’t that the whole point of the site? To message someone and see if they are interested in meeting up? Fair enough if the messaged party isn’t interested & they keep getting messages (if they didn’t block) then yes those further messages would be unsolicited but they don’t start that way. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts
A delete or block is a no. Deal with it. Youre not owed a response for your unsolicited messages.
Unsolicited messages?
Isn’t that the whole point of the site? To message someone and see if they are interested in meeting up? Fair enough if the messaged party isn’t interested & they keep getting messages (if they didn’t block) then yes those further messages would be unsolicited but they don’t start that way. "
Filters only work so far.
Yes you an filter by gender, age and a few other factors. But not all. So if you have clear details in your profile of who you're looking to meet (and who you're not) andmpeople choose to ignore those all important words then yes, some messages most definitely are unsolicited.
Even when you use all the tools the site gives you it doesn't prevent people being stupid enough to disregard clear messages in your profile.
Many messages are 100% unsolicited and the sender knows that and is chancing their arm, or is just too lazy to bother looking at what you're actually seeking.
A |
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There are three issues with a “simple” no thanks…
1 - the absolute dogs abuse you get from people for it.
2 - the time it takes, if you’re a female on here late at night at the weekend then you need a Secretary to answer them all
3 - the most important one - if I message “no thanks” then the next time I close my inbox to single guys every single one I’ve said “no thanks” to can message as the filters see previous conversation and exclude them from the block |
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Yet another this morning. Received 5 identical messages from someone, deleted each time (as my bio says, I can’t reply to everyone a delete is a bit interested). Decided this time to say I’m not interested only to be told he was just waiting for me to ‘get some manners’ and that he wasn’t interested anyway.
Come on people! No one owes you a reply. Manners is not saying thank you when someone holds a door, not not replying to an unsolicited message.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a different view on this subject
I don't care about being blocked and I don't care about being told "no"
My pet peeve is profiles that ask for a man to be polite (I can't believe men need to be told) but then read your profile and can't even be polite enough to reply with a simple "no thank you"... you have taken the time to read it just a simple reply will/may hopefully help
It takes seconds and most men (I hope) will stop sending messages
It's the being ignored and not reading the message that makes some men keep messaging as they still think there is a chance
We know women get a 1000 messages everytime they post a photo or a status
Men send a message and in 10mins its at the bottom of the pile as 100 others have sent one... sending another message puts it to the top so hopefully you may see it and think "maybe I do want to sleep with him"... its our caveman brain
Now... I only normally send one massage and that's it, I have so many unread and ignored messages in my sent box but that's the way it goes
If I see its been deleted I delete it to and I move on
Unlike some of the men mentioned here |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
The problem is that a "no thanks" reply can still be seen as engagement. This can then turn into "why not?" "I've read your veris.." "what do I have to do..?" if the sender is feeling particularly shitty/horny (shorny?)
This then takes time and energy from the recipient that they don't want to invest.
I have had some lovely "no thank you" messages, but I don't expect them. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It's not rude at all.When I send a message I never expect a response I delete the sent message and if I get a reply then great if not it doesn't bother me.
The same as messages I receive and I don't get a lot as I have my filters tighter than a ducks ass.I look at a profile before I even open a letter if it really doesn't appeal or if they have cheated to get past fikters I delete the message.I only block those that get rude. I use to answer all mail until I got pissed off with the ah why not chat at least lines and when I point out I'm not doing new meets they say sure it's just a chat then cue about 3 messages later when they throw a strop because you chatted but won't meet them now. So now I can't be bothered with the hassle.
I've too much going on in my life outside of fab I don't need the hassle on here as well.
If that makes me seem rude to those whose messages I do ignore than it shows we had nothing in common anyhow and we were better off not interacting in the first place. |
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"I have a different view on this subject
I don't care about being blocked and I don't care about being told "no"
My pet peeve is profiles that ask for a man to be polite (I can't believe men need to be told) but then read your profile and can't even be polite enough to reply with a simple "no thank you"... you have taken the time to read it just a simple reply will/may hopefully help
It takes seconds and most men (I hope) will stop sending messages
It's the being ignored and not reading the message that makes some men keep messaging as they still think there is a chance
We know women get a 1000 messages everytime they post a photo or a status
Men send a message and in 10mins its at the bottom of the pile as 100 others have sent one... sending another message puts it to the top so hopefully you may see it and think "maybe I do want to sleep with him"... its our caveman brain
Now... I only normally send one massage and that's it, I have so many unread and ignored messages in my sent box but that's the way it goes
If I see its been deleted I delete it to and I move on
Unlike some of the men mentioned here"
On a previous thread there was a woman with 360 unread messages who pointed out that even if she spent 20 seconds on each one - reading and replying “no thanks” that would take 2 hours. Not including reading profiles, or dealing with any replies from the no thanks, or any messages that came in in that time.
No-one has time for that.
Plus a “no thanks” reply counts as conversation for the algorithm so if someone puts a block on single men (which women are told to do if they are getting too many messages) then every single person that got a reply can bypass it. |
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"I find..
Not interested then?
????????????????????
If you answer ill leave you alone
Wuu2?
I know you wont answer but hi again
????????????????????
Was it something I said?
all that a little ruder but that's just me. "
We had this the other night. We said we're into doing bot chatting about it. He continued to message. He got blocked. Theres plenty more couples who meet 29 year old single men.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is what it is OP, I get why people don’t reply because it opens up further emails coming back. It’s so much easier to just delete.
I do agree with others, I do find the block a little harsh but again nothing you can do.
Move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is what it is OP, I get why people don’t reply because it opens up further emails coming back. It’s so much easier to just delete.
I do agree with others, I do find the block a little harsh but again nothing you can do.
Move on"
I understand why people would choose to block.
We've been blocked after expressing we're not interested.
It's a handy tool to prevent additional contact, it also helps the sender to not waste their time messaging the same profile again.
Personally, we prefer the private notes.
We may have no interest at one point and change another time, depending on what we're looking for and/or if the sender gets a better understanding of the site. |
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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago
Sent to Coventry |
I recently replied to a request to ‘meet today’ with a polite no thanks.
I was then told I was discourteous for not giving a reason for my no thanks, and also told off for failing to even look at his profile before saying no thanks ( I view in stealth mode)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I recently replied to a request to ‘meet today’ with a polite no thanks.
I was then told I was discourteous for not giving a reason for my no thanks, and also told off for failing to even look at his profile before saying no thanks ( I view in stealth mode)
"
This is why I understand the reasoning for why people do so. there are some right idiots who think they’re entitled to everything. Sad as it ruins the experience for so many others. |
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Replying always has the side effect of people then getting back in touch demanding to know why.
If the person told no simply then left or have a polite "Ok, that's for replying" people might be more inclined. But as everyone knows, it's the rude minority that spoils it for everyone |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
I don't get upset with a deletion or block.
I simply block them in turn so I don't waste my time trying to contact them again.
Why waste time getting upset with people who do delete and block you. Probably wouldn't have worked out anyway |
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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago
Sent to Coventry |
"I recently replied to a request to ‘meet today’ with a polite no thanks.
I was then told I was discourteous for not giving a reason for my no thanks, and also told off for failing to even look at his profile before saying no thanks ( I view in stealth mode)
This is why I understand the reasoning for why people do so. there are some right idiots who think they’re entitled to everything. Sad as it ruins the experience for so many others. "
Agreed. I personally like to answer as many messages as possible, but I do sometimes wonder if I should adopt the fab rules suggestion and just ignore more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I recently replied to a request to ‘meet today’ with a polite no thanks.
I was then told I was discourteous for not giving a reason for my no thanks, and also told off for failing to even look at his profile before saying no thanks ( I view in stealth mode)
"
This is why people choose to not reply.
And so many need to quit with this entitled attitude, demanding a reply.
When messaging a stranger, with the hopes of possibly leading to sex, they don't owe you a reply.
If there's no reply, it's a passive way of showing no interest.
Be the bigger person and accept that. |
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Yes it is you. It is in the site rules. It's rude to feel entitled to time from strangers. Yes it is too much to respond no thanks to everyone and then you also render any future use of filters useless as people can always get around them once you have messaged them. |
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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago
Wombwell, Barnsley |
"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
Not read the whole of the thread but then again I don't have to. Same as I don't have to reply with a no thanks to every message I receive that I'm not interested in. No it's not rude. The block button is a great filter. |
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"In fairness there are some completely deluded and arrogant people on the site who have massive egos writing checks their body most definitely cannot cash. "
Well that is most certainly true.
The only people to blame though are men. They wouldnt develop such egos if it wasnt for the male desperation ejaculating so many messages into their inboxes every day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Plus a “no thanks” reply counts as conversation for the algorithm so if someone puts a block on single men (which women are told to do if they are getting too many messages) then every single person that got a reply can bypass it."
Ahhh see I didn't think about that, I read it on the site some where but didn't put 2+2 together
As for the 320 messages.... men need to stop pestering
Women need to stop being so dam sexy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nobody owes anybody anything on this site if im not interested its a str8 block from me .. learnt a long long time ago that the block button is thee best tool on fab ... much less abuse |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing "
I'll tell you what's appealing and good manners.
Accepting that nobody owes anyone here anything just because of a message of interest.
And accepting that others have different issues to you and very real reasons on why they choose to ignore.
For the record, we very rarely ignore but understand why some do.
I'll add, if you find you're having the same issue time and again, maybe look at refreshing your approach.
I've not checked, but a profile bio and pictures to catch the eye, not just a dick. Plus thoughtful messages. |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing "
It's in the site rules, no answer or delete means no, just delete your sent box once the message has gone and if you get a reply then great if not them you don't know any different |
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"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing "
Common manners would be accepting that someone with 360 messages is simply not going to spend 2 hours saying “no thanks”
In fact common manners would be reading the site FAQs when you join a site and accepting the way things are done, rather than whinging and cribbing about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing
Common manners would be accepting that someone with 360 messages is simply not going to spend 2 hours saying “no thanks”
In fact common manners would be reading the site FAQs when you join a site and accepting the way things are done, rather than whinging and cribbing about it."
Copied from the FAQ's .........
There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here? |
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"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing "
Who's trying to appeal to those they're saying no to?
Many people have listed the costs. You just choose to ignore it. |
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"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing "
To have them here costs precious time. I don’t think anyone should have to waste their precious time on saying no to multiple messages. Simple as. You’re owed nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing "
But they do cost something. They cost time, they have a cost in terms of stress levels etc
Why should I prioritise a complete stranger over my own enjoyment/time/peace of mind
It’s so entitled to have an attitude like this. |
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"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing
Common manners would be accepting that someone with 360 messages is simply not going to spend 2 hours saying “no thanks”
In fact common manners would be reading the site FAQs when you join a site and accepting the way things are done, rather than whinging and cribbing about it.
Copied from the FAQ's .........
There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"
Exactly.
It’s amusing that so many think they should ve exempt from that. |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
Just today I've had messages from people who's messages I've deleted after repeated messages from them, raining on me for being rude and ignorant, if that's how I'm treated without saying no thanks then what would they be like if I did message no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not another one! This is like the 3rd one of these in the last week.
It's a common post.
You might want to avoid the many more to follow. "
Its soul destroying! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not another one! This is like the 3rd one of these in the last week.
It's a common post.
You might want to avoid the many more to follow.
Its soul destroying! "
I understand the frustration, trouble is, way too often the problem is from within.
Not enough effort, not the right effort.
Entitled attitude. |
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Very often bulk delete hundreds of messages because I don't have the time or patience to politely reply no to each one.
Very often the ones I do reply no to, engage in conversation asking me why not or why did I reply then if I'm not interested. You can't win |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can see a point here.... It's is polite to reply with a no and maybe some feedback. Some do, some don't.
I always reply, but I'm polite. Doesn't bother me too much of someone doesn't ?? ok, maybe I'm a little sad
But at a guess you aren't getting hundreds of messages a day from people who clearly don't read your profile. "
Exactly! |
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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago
Wombwell, Barnsley |
"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing "
As some others have said why would I want to appeal to someone I've said no to. It doesn't make any sense. |
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"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing "
Manners cost nothing, but dealing with repeated follow up messages, abuse, etc, are not without costs.
Unfortunately most of us who have been here more than a few months have worked out that we get less abuse or hassle if we delete without replying. |
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I use messaging how I see fit for myself. If someone gets bent over me not replying / deleting / replying with a no, well that’s their problem not mine .L.
Why would I even be phased over a stranger I will never meet being upset / agged Can’t miss what you never had
I simply stand by if a person is overly sensitive / fragile over it then perhaps these sorts of websites may not be viable for their mental health.
The best fix to it imo is for fab to invoke automatic responses you can tick box when you delete a message
- thanks but not interested
- not what i am looking for all the best.
Blah blah ya
Then just have an automatic 30 day ban on them being able to message you again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use messaging how I see fit for myself. If someone gets bent over me not replying / deleting / replying with a no, well that’s their problem not mine .L.
Why would I even be phased over a stranger I will never meet being upset / agged Can’t miss what you never had
I simply stand by if a person is overly sensitive / fragile over it then perhaps these sorts of websites may not be viable for their mental health.
The best fix to it imo is for fab to invoke automatic responses you can tick box when you delete a message
- thanks but not interested
- not what i am looking for all the best.
Blah blah ya
Then just have an automatic 30 day ban on them being able to message you again. "
That last point is a great shout! They do it with winks so applying it to messages is a good idea too. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I use messaging how I see fit for myself. If someone gets bent over me not replying / deleting / replying with a no, well that’s their problem not mine .L.
Why would I even be phased over a stranger I will never meet being upset / agged Can’t miss what you never had
I simply stand by if a person is overly sensitive / fragile over it then perhaps these sorts of websites may not be viable for their mental health.
The best fix to it imo is for fab to invoke automatic responses you can tick box when you delete a message
- thanks but not interested
- not what i am looking for all the best.
Blah blah ya
Then just have an automatic 30 day ban on them being able to message you again.
That last point is a great shout! They do it with winks so applying it to messages is a good idea too."
There used to be a warning box appear if someone tried to message a profile they've already contacted but had no response.
Is that not still a thing?
Do people really need a system to manage their interactions or is the common sense notion of 'well they haven't replied to my last message so why would they respond to another' not enough?
No doubt someone will be along in a minute to tell me that their message is no doubt lost in a sea of others and that it's due to that they've not had a reply.......
Trust me. Interesting profile pictures and a good message title will get noticed by those that are truly interested in meeting. Even in a busy inbox.
A |
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We're all here for our own enjoyment. We don't owe anyone effort or access if we've decided they're not for us. A simple delete and block is just a quick and drama free way to say no thanks and continue enjoying the site for the things/people you want. I don't think it's rude or take offence. |
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"Regardless of everyone's attitude to the question ,not all men are stalkers and regardless of site protocol, a polite no thanks is frankly more appealing, common manners cost nothing "
You're sense of entitlement is too high and you're not listening to most posters on this thread |
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"
There used to be a warning box appear if someone tried to message a profile they've already contacted but had no response.
Is that not still a thing?
Do people really need a system to manage their interactions or is the common sense notion of 'well they haven't replied to my last message so why would they respond to another' not enough?
No doubt someone will be along in a minute to tell me that their message is no doubt lost in a sea of others and that it's due to that they've not had a reply.......
Trust me. Interesting profile pictures and a good message title will get noticed by those that are truly interested in meeting. Even in a busy inbox.
A"
It is still a thing. There’s absolutely no excuse for repeatedly messaging.
The only good thing about it is that it does show who has no manners or respect (we all know that no reply = no thanks). In all my time on here it’s become abundantly clear that there is a direct link between the guys who message 5/6/7 times in less than an hour and the ones that get abusive if you say no thanks. |
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I don’t always reply to messages. Especially from those that clearly haven’t read my profile.
If i say I want to stay local, there’s a reason for that. Don’t message me from 100 miles away and expect me to change my mind.
If guys can’t accommodate, i will often reply and say that’s why because I can’t either and then you get the ‘oh we could just go for a quiet walk outside, or we can meet in my car’.
I’ve been called all the names under the sun if I send a polite no so most of the time I just don’t bother replying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. I get to choose how to manage my own messages in my own time. Anyone who has voluntarily sent me a message doesn't get to tell me how to respond to it.
Reply to my message NOW! "
Ok, sweetie |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts "
Having a wife on here with her own solo profile i know first hand what a no thanks message usually brings with it ..either follow ups of why what are you looking for etc to the abusive replys so understand why alot will just delete and or block  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too much to ask a simple no thanks, instead of delete block, simply rude ,or is it just me ,what's your thoughts
A delete or block is a no. Deal with it. Youre not owed a response for your unsolicited messages.
Unsolicited messages?
Isn’t that the whole point of the site? To message someone and see if they are interested in meeting up? Fair enough if the messaged party isn’t interested & they keep getting messages (if they didn’t block) then yes those further messages would be unsolicited but they don’t start that way. "
They are unsolicited. Nobody is forcing men to send 50 messages a day to women in the hope somebody will shag them. Some men don't send any. Some people aren't here to message and be messaged. You use the site for that - others can use it for other reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find..
Not interested then?
????????????????????
If you answer ill leave you alone
Wuu2?
I know you wont answer but hi again
????????????????????
Was it something I said?
all that a little ruder but that's just me. "
This. All day, this. It’s a pain in the arse! |
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