FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I wanna be man....
I wanna be man....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You are definitely over thinking it. Just do.what you want and fuck them if they complain. Just do you"
But I want them to do me.
I'm a terrible overthinker and slight perfectionist. These do not go well with fab.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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 1are men on this site worth going through all that ? 2 Or are you looking for a long term thing 3 surely you'd want to look half decent for yourself I know I keep myself half Decent at all times regardless |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" 1are men on this site worth going through all that ? 2 Or are you looking for a long term thing 3 surely you'd want to look half decent for yourself I know I keep myself half Decent at all times regardless "
Some men, yes, yes they are.
Define half decent?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a teensy bit overthinking  
I know I know, I could of wrote a lot more aswell.  "
 You know that guys don't actually care about most of the stuff you've mentioned. They're just things to avoid the meet because...nerves maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" 1are men on this site worth going through all that ? 2 Or are you looking for a long term thing 3 surely you'd want to look half decent for yourself I know I keep myself half Decent at all times regardless
Some men, yes, yes they are.
Define half decent??"
Really c-mon it's not hard to work it out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Woah, hold on, you don't think I'm shaving my balls, exfoliating my face, moisturising my skin, using the fancy soap because I'm a guy and it should be easy for me? I'm insulted  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" 1are men on this site worth going through all that ? 2 Or are you looking for a long term thing 3 surely you'd want to look half decent for yourself I know I keep myself half Decent at all times regardless
Some men, yes, yes they are.
Define half decent?? Really c-mon it's not hard to work it out "
I feel we've missed something in our communication.
I enjoyed it though, come again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Woah, hold on, you don't think I'm shaving my balls, exfoliating my face, moisturising my skin, using the fancy soap because I'm a guy and it should be easy for me? I'm insulted "
Meet now? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I turned up to my last time out with a lady with 3 pairs of shoes… true story.
But yeh sure, I just brush my teeth and I’m ready to go.  "
Ok, why 3 pairs of shoes? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Woah, hold on, you don't think I'm shaving my balls, exfoliating my face, moisturising my skin, using the fancy soap because I'm a guy and it should be easy for me? I'm insulted
Meet now?"
Absolutely. Just give me time to shave my balls, exfoliate my face, moisturise my skin, use the fancy soap and I'll be right over  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Woah, hold on, you don't think I'm shaving my balls, exfoliating my face, moisturising my skin, using the fancy soap because I'm a guy and it should be easy for me? I'm insulted
Meet now?
Absolutely. Just give me time to shave my balls, exfoliate my face, moisturise my skin, use the fancy soap and I'll be right over "
So, 10mins yeah? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" 1are men on this site worth going through all that ? 2 Or are you looking for a long term thing 3 surely you'd want to look half decent for yourself I know I keep myself half Decent at all times regardless
Some men, yes, yes they are.
Define half decent?? Really c-mon it's not hard to work it out
I feel we've missed something in our communication.
I enjoyed it though, come again."
you say you need to wax need to buy something need to match your tan up need to go on a 14 day diet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Woah, hold on, you don't think I'm shaving my balls, exfoliating my face, moisturising my skin, using the fancy soap because I'm a guy and it should be easy for me? I'm insulted
Meet now?
Absolutely. Just give me time to shave my balls, exfoliate my face, moisturise my skin, use the fancy soap and I'll be right over
So, 10mins yeah?"
Yeah, I have time for a quick coffee beforehand too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
"
Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I turned up to my last time out with a lady with 3 pairs of shoes… true story.
But yeh sure, I just brush my teeth and I’m ready to go.
Ok, why 3 pairs of shoes?"
I didn’t know which shoes would go with which pair of pants I took. |
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Hey it's not easy for us either!
I've got to decide which T-shirt to wear and choose between my stripy undies with a hole in them or just keep on the ones I'm wearing now (they're only a couple days old anyway)
Then I've got to do my hair and that takes all of 3 seconds to decide I'm actually wearing a cap so it doesn't matter.
THEN!, I've got to choose which half used can of Lynx I'll spray on my package (y'know, in case I get lucky)
THEN!!! I've got to put on the same pair of shoes I wear for everything and have owned for over 6 years.
It's decisions upon decisions |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway "
I have little time and rarely meet, so no, I currently resemble Chewbacca on a bad day. That's not a good look.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I turned up to my last time out with a lady with 3 pairs of shoes… true story.
But yeh sure, I just brush my teeth and I’m ready to go.
Ok, why 3 pairs of shoes?
I didn’t know which shoes would go with which pair of pants I took. "
You are worse than me! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn"
Your shaving your balls practically every other day!?? That's commitment. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hey it's not easy for us either!
I've got to decide which T-shirt to wear and choose between my stripy undies with a hole in them or just keep on the ones I'm wearing now (they're only a couple days old anyway)
Then I've got to do my hair and that takes all of 3 seconds to decide I'm actually wearing a cap so it doesn't matter.
THEN!, I've got to choose which half used can of Lynx I'll spray on my package (y'know, in case I get lucky)
THEN!!! I've got to put on the same pair of shoes I wear for everything and have owned for over 6 years.
It's decisions upon decisions "
Lynx flavoured balls? Not for me... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? "
It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey it's not easy for us either!
I've got to decide which T-shirt to wear and choose between my stripy undies with a hole in them or just keep on the ones I'm wearing now (they're only a couple days old anyway)
Then I've got to do my hair and that takes all of 3 seconds to decide I'm actually wearing a cap so it doesn't matter.
THEN!, I've got to choose which half used can of Lynx I'll spray on my package (y'know, in case I get lucky)
THEN!!! I've got to put on the same pair of shoes I wear for everything and have owned for over 6 years.
It's decisions upon decisions
Lynx flavoured balls? Not for me..."
Especially the Lynx Chocolate if the advert was anything to go by |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I turned up to my last time out with a lady with 3 pairs of shoes… true story.
But yeh sure, I just brush my teeth and I’m ready to go.
Ok, why 3 pairs of shoes?
I didn’t know which shoes would go with which pair of pants I took.
You are worse than me!"
You have no idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself! "
I take care of myself but I'm not always perfectly shaven, hair perfectly in place and unless I'm going out it's rare I put make up on. There's too much pressure on women as it is to be this way on a daily basis without women dragging each other down too. |
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"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
"
Maybe just a tad overthinking, but I'm exactly the same!
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I rejoined fab this time, some years ago now, I had a man round within six hours!
We've had our moments but I'm still seeing him now
My prep is shower, shave, baby lotion
I'm 57 it's too late for the diet, tan lines etc
Missy x |
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If i was going to think like that soon the cup of wine was finished i would have given up. Is just a meeting and after 10 minutes the meeting starts fuck the clothes and make up , saying this i don't mean i don't like to look presentable and sexy , i just can't deal with all thing go buy new clothes , make up and over thinking for days about the meeting |
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"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
I have little time and rarely meet, so no, I currently resemble Chewbacca on a bad day. That's not a good look.."
I don't think many of us are 100% good to go 100% of the time... Like my hair could look great... But my legs wouldn't have been shaved for days... It's alot to keep up with! And I like to make an extra effort if I'm meeting someone over my every day look. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If i was going to think like that soon the cup of wine was finished i would have given up. Is just a meeting and after 10 minutes the meeting starts fuck the clothes and make up , saying this i don't mean i don't like to look presentable and sexy , i just can't deal with all thing go buy new clothes , make up and over thinking for days about the meeting "
I don't meet many people, if I do, I usually plan on meeting them a few times. So yeah, i do put too much thought into it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The voice in my knickers gets way to strong to think seriously enough about tan lines and if its too hot etc.
Wait two weeks for sex? You're kidding me right?
The only reason I'd ever want to be a man is so I could experience what must be an absolute delight of a daily cycle instead of a 28 day one.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I rejoined fab this time, some years ago now, I had a man round within six hours!
We've had our moments but I'm still seeing him now
My prep is shower, shave, baby lotion
I'm 57 it's too late for the diet, tan lines etc
Missy x"
Sounds like somebody has worked out their priorities. All the extra work is lovely but this minimalist approach has it's own beautiful appeal. |
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"... Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
"
Yes, you are overthinking, and no you're not the only one!
It's the human condition, we all overthink, we all fret, all have little worries. Yes, even guys! Over lockdown, I spoke to severial and they all have their likes/dislikes/worries - we all have them.
Men do score in that the media hasn't (yet) given them the number of sticks to beat themselves with internally you ladies have. But times are changing and advertisers are catching up.
Even without advertisers, almost all of us overthink |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself!
I take care of myself but I'm not always perfectly shaven, hair perfectly in place and unless I'm going out it's rare I put make up on. There's too much pressure on women as it is to be this way on a daily basis without women dragging each other down too."
What she said!
My hair is tidy and I'm clean. I wear a bit of makeup. Seems ok to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope it’s perfectly normal to think like that. Women are shit. Men are great. The sooner women realise this the better
Too true"
I can’t believe nobody took the bait. Am I becoming predictable? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I just have a shower, shave necessary areas, blast my hair with the dryer , throw some make up on.
Sod fake tan and waxing and anything like that "
Yeah but you're beautiful and have the booooooooooooooooobs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just have a shower, shave necessary areas, blast my hair with the dryer , throw some make up on.
Sod fake tan and waxing and anything like that
Yeah but you're beautiful and have the booooooooooooooooobs. "
Cammo? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I just have a shower, shave necessary areas, blast my hair with the dryer , throw some make up on.
Sod fake tan and waxing and anything like that
Yeah but you're beautiful and have the booooooooooooooooobs.
Cammo?"
Unlos in 3...2.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just have a shower, shave necessary areas, blast my hair with the dryer , throw some make up on.
Sod fake tan and waxing and anything like that
Yeah but you're beautiful and have the booooooooooooooooobs. "
You are also beautiful and also have awesome boobs x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sounds like you try too hard to be perfect to me instead of just having fun
I do. I am a terrible perfectionist.
I've never met one, they're never ready "
|
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By *rC99Man
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Why worry?? All we look at when we’re banging you is yer tits 
So, I'll just pluck my nipple hair and I'm good to go?"
You wouldn't even need to do that if you got lucky.
The other person could always do it with their teeth. That's assuming that they have their own teeth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I rejoined fab this time, some years ago now, I had a man round within six hours!
We've had our moments but I'm still seeing him now
My prep is shower, shave, baby lotion
I'm 57 it's too late for the diet, tan lines etc
Missy x
Sounds like somebody has worked out their priorities. All the extra work is lovely but this minimalist approach has it's own beautiful appeal. "
Aww thank you
When men look at our bodies they are not looking at the bits we obsess over and they love a bit of wobble
Confidence and enjoying the sex is much more sexy than a perfect tan and makes up x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Confidence and enjoying the sex is much more sexy than a perfect tan and makes up x
Oh yes a confident naughty mind is by far the sexiest thing. "
I'll just leave now then... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey, I see you online, want to meet now?"
Yes, yes I do..... Let me get ready....
An hour in the barbers chair, possibly a 45 minute wait to get my fat arse in the chair.
At least an hour in the bath, probably more because I always fall asleep.
Feck knows how long pondering where to meet that's mutually convenient and safe.
What to wear? Don't even start.
*arrives at meet.
"What the fuck, you're a bloke!!!!!"
Me - "wait, what, wait....sorry, were you expecting Lady Astor........."
Winston
|
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn"
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…"
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute! |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute! "
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes. |
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Not just women. I too sometimes let the lawn overgrow and have to do some manscaping. Hair might be an absolute state. Beard slightly overgrown.
Not everyone is good to go at the drop of a...thong. |
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"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
"
Go for it!
Make yourself a profile for single male and give us a shout in about an hour after you’ve arranged your first meet  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Go for it!
Make yourself a profile for single male and give us a shout in about an hour after you’ve arranged your first meet "
I know how to hold a conversation so wouldn't be hard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes. "
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any! "
* excerpt on Tinder. Why don't the women on Fab put out? Stuck up bitches. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn"
This is our reality, endless message just to get told to f’off! I’d give my right arm to prep for a meet! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
This is our reality, endless message just to get told to f’off! I’d give my right arm to prep for a meet!"
Maybe stop with the endless messages then. |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any! "
RIGHT…When I were a man, I had to invent fab, get women to join, fight off all the men with my bare hands, make 327 THOUSAND threads questioning why I wasn’t offered AS the first born, live stream my whole life to the fab cams and after all that, the only smile I got off a woman during my existence was from my father! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any!
* excerpt on Tinder. Why don't the women on Fab put out? Stuck up bitches. "
Awww man I hate those bitches. So stick up their own asses. How dare they not wanna fuck the guy with the greatest penis pic on fab’? |
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By *edgirlWoman
over a year ago
Berkhamsted |
"Make yourself a profile for single male and give us a shout in about an hour after you’ve arranged your first meet
I know how to hold a conversation so wouldn't be hard. "
Haha!! Love this reply |
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The only thing I do different for a meet as opposed to getting ready to go for a normal day out is have a soak in the bath instead of a quick shower and then take extra time to get stockings, suspenders
makeup etc on. Im not waxing and going shopping, im pretty sure men dont care the men i've had sex with in clubs wouldnt have given me a second look in a normal bar, they just want a break from reality and abit of attention and pleasure. |
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I think you’re overthinking it OP. I know how you feel though. Maybe we should start an overthinkers club.
Except….. what if no one joined or didn’t like the rules or didn’t drink tea …..
Overthinking could well be a curse so it’s best to find spontaneous people so it evens things out a little. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any!
RIGHT…When I were a man, I had to invent fab, get women to join, fight off all the men with my bare hands, make 327 THOUSAND threads questioning why I wasn’t offered AS the first born, live stream my whole life to the fab cams and after all that, the only smile I got off a woman during my existence was from my father!"
Ya big coddled BABY! When I were a man, I had to go to BOOTS for 16 hours a day with me mam whilst she looked at LIPSTICKS. Then lick road on way home before she'd give me a morsel of coal for ma tea. Before bed (on a tea towel I shared with my 15 siblings) I had to write 327 MILLION FAF messages whilst women laughed at my Willy on the forum because it's only 9 inches. |
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"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
This is our reality, endless message just to get told to f’off! I’d give my right arm to prep for a meet!"
If you dont message then you dont get rejected. You can have that tip for free buddy  |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any!
RIGHT…When I were a man, I had to invent fab, get women to join, fight off all the men with my bare hands, make 327 THOUSAND threads questioning why I wasn’t offered AS the first born, live stream my whole life to the fab cams and after all that, the only smile I got off a woman during my existence was from my father!
Ya big coddled BABY! When I were a man, I had to go to BOOTS for 16 hours a day with me mam whilst she looked at LIPSTICKS. Then lick road on way home before she'd give me a morsel of coal for ma tea. Before bed (on a tea towel I shared with my 15 siblings) I had to write 327 MILLION FAF messages whilst women laughed at my Willy on the forum because it's only 9 inches. "
Well…you try an tell the young people of today that. Will they believe us… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any!
RIGHT…When I were a man, I had to invent fab, get women to join, fight off all the men with my bare hands, make 327 THOUSAND threads questioning why I wasn’t offered AS the first born, live stream my whole life to the fab cams and after all that, the only smile I got off a woman during my existence was from my father!
Ya big coddled BABY! When I were a man, I had to go to BOOTS for 16 hours a day with me mam whilst she looked at LIPSTICKS. Then lick road on way home before she'd give me a morsel of coal for ma tea. Before bed (on a tea towel I shared with my 15 siblings) I had to write 327 MILLION FAF messages whilst women laughed at my Willy on the forum because it's only 9 inches.
Well…you try an tell the young people of today that. Will they believe us…"
Er...you are the young people of today! |
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"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Go for it!
Make yourself a profile for single male and give us a shout in about an hour after you’ve arranged your first meet
I know how to hold a conversation so wouldn't be hard. "
So do i...best of luck with getting to the conversation stage |
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"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself!
I take care of myself but I'm not always perfectly shaven, hair perfectly in place and unless I'm going out it's rare I put make up on. There's too much pressure on women as it is to be this way on a daily basis without women dragging each other down too."
Who do you think is putting pressure on women in the first place? Ill give you 3 guesses... |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any!
RIGHT…When I were a man, I had to invent fab, get women to join, fight off all the men with my bare hands, make 327 THOUSAND threads questioning why I wasn’t offered AS the first born, live stream my whole life to the fab cams and after all that, the only smile I got off a woman during my existence was from my father!
Ya big coddled BABY! When I were a man, I had to go to BOOTS for 16 hours a day with me mam whilst she looked at LIPSTICKS. Then lick road on way home before she'd give me a morsel of coal for ma tea. Before bed (on a tea towel I shared with my 15 siblings) I had to write 327 MILLION FAF messages whilst women laughed at my Willy on the forum because it's only 9 inches.
Well…you try an tell the young people of today that. Will they believe us…
Er...you are the young people of today! "
I was just keeping up with the ending of the script
I think we’d be a strong act for the next fab talent show! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself!
I take care of myself but I'm not always perfectly shaven, hair perfectly in place and unless I'm going out it's rare I put make up on. There's too much pressure on women as it is to be this way on a daily basis without women dragging each other down too.
Who do you think is putting pressure on women in the first place? Ill give you 3 guesses... "
The media |
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"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself!
I take care of myself but I'm not always perfectly shaven, hair perfectly in place and unless I'm going out it's rare I put make up on. There's too much pressure on women as it is to be this way on a daily basis without women dragging each other down too.
Who do you think is putting pressure on women in the first place? Ill give you 3 guesses...
The media"
And often, other women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any!
RIGHT…When I were a man, I had to invent fab, get women to join, fight off all the men with my bare hands, make 327 THOUSAND threads questioning why I wasn’t offered AS the first born, live stream my whole life to the fab cams and after all that, the only smile I got off a woman during my existence was from my father!
Ya big coddled BABY! When I were a man, I had to go to BOOTS for 16 hours a day with me mam whilst she looked at LIPSTICKS. Then lick road on way home before she'd give me a morsel of coal for ma tea. Before bed (on a tea towel I shared with my 15 siblings) I had to write 327 MILLION FAF messages whilst women laughed at my Willy on the forum because it's only 9 inches.
Well…you try an tell the young people of today that. Will they believe us…
Er...you are the young people of today!
I was just keeping up with the ending of the script
I think we’d be a strong act for the next fab talent show! "
Ah sorry Jay! I didn't remember the end. I get carried away with "lick t'road clean".
For sure - sign us up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
"
Also don’t eat for 48 hrs prior, as to avoid bloating |
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"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
Also don’t eat for 48 hrs prior, as to avoid bloating "
Also a top tip for clean anal, if that's on the menu |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself!
I take care of myself but I'm not always perfectly shaven, hair perfectly in place and unless I'm going out it's rare I put make up on. There's too much pressure on women as it is to be this way on a daily basis without women dragging each other down too.
Who do you think is putting pressure on women in the first place? Ill give you 3 guesses...
The media
And often, other women. "
Yes, true but I think that's because society has influenced many women to see themselves a certain way. |
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"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself!
I take care of myself but I'm not always perfectly shaven, hair perfectly in place and unless I'm going out it's rare I put make up on. There's too much pressure on women as it is to be this way on a daily basis without women dragging each other down too.
Who do you think is putting pressure on women in the first place? Ill give you 3 guesses...
The media
And often, other women.
Yes, true but I think that's because society has influenced many women to see themselves a certain way. "
There seems to be a type of woman who buys all the in-fashion stuff, does all the in-fashion hair, makeup, cosmetic stuff etc and so "conforms" to whatever is supposed to be what women do. Obviously this must be expensive. It's only this type of woman who has ever felt it necessary to criticise my lack of hair faffing, makeup and in-fashion clothing. Perhaps it's just my own experience, but there it is. |
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"You wanna meet?
Sure, I'll jump in the shower and I'm good to go.
Job done..off you pop.
Spoke to a guy yesterday and he's like well I'm busy at the weekend but I can do...I'm thinking woah steady on!!
I need to wax, find the time to wax, then you have to leave that a couple of days to calm the fuck down.
Is it gonna be hot? Nope, can't meet when it's too hot, I'll look like Monica from that scene in Friends.
Then I'm thinking what will I wear, I need time to go shopping. Then also because of the dam weather my legs are brown, my body is not. I hate tan lines with a passion, so I either wait till it's faded or I fake tan?
Me and fake tan don't get on.
Then I figure 2 weeks is good because then I can do one of those 14day diets and lose a couple of pounds beforehand, I type this as I drink wine and ploughing my way through a tub of pringles just FYI.
Am I overthinking this?
I feel I'm overthinking, I can't be the only one though, surely??
"
I've done this a lot...everything has to be perfect first..(lots of overthinking)
But when get asked for a "meet now" I say give me an hour usually...as I will jump in shower and then coming as I am... your clothes end up on the floor,hair is a mess and make up is usually mostly gone by the end of the meet.. so if they can't take me as I am,they don't want to see me after a meet!!! Hahaha.
You just be you huni,if they can't arrange a proper time it was just a quickie to satisfy their needs in the first place and nothing to do with your needs.. x |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any!
RIGHT…When I were a man, I had to invent fab, get women to join, fight off all the men with my bare hands, make 327 THOUSAND threads questioning why I wasn’t offered AS the first born, live stream my whole life to the fab cams and after all that, the only smile I got off a woman during my existence was from my father!
Ya big coddled BABY! When I were a man, I had to go to BOOTS for 16 hours a day with me mam whilst she looked at LIPSTICKS. Then lick road on way home before she'd give me a morsel of coal for ma tea. Before bed (on a tea towel I shared with my 15 siblings) I had to write 327 MILLION FAF messages whilst women laughed at my Willy on the forum because it's only 9 inches.
Well…you try an tell the young people of today that. Will they believe us…
Er...you are the young people of today!
I was just keeping up with the ending of the script
I think we’d be a strong act for the next fab talent show!
Ah sorry Jay! I didn't remember the end. I get carried away with "lick t'road clean".
For sure - sign us up! "
I totally get you. For me it’s “ate a bowl of COLD gravel” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thats nothing!!
I have to send 500 well written messages throughout the year, shave my balls at least 200 time and thats just to get a reply.. if i get a reply i have to consider the one word reply, or if i can get a decent conversation get ghosted at the 11th hour.. thank god for porn
I feel like this could be the start, of the fab version, of the four Yorkshire men sketch.
Send 500 messages? I used to dream of sending a message…
Luxury! When I were a man, i sent 3000 messages a minute!
Paradise! When I was a man I had to go outside, lick a cave wall clean, scratch my message into the wall making my fingers bleed, then scream FAF as a mating call for 28 hours a day, just to get 1 response in 2 lifetimes.
You were SPOILT! When I were a man, I had to beat my chest and wail from 5am, then I had to post 327 threads a day asking "is it just me? Why won't the women answer?". Wearing a hair shirt at all times. I offered my first born child for some pussy AND still didn't get any!
RIGHT…When I were a man, I had to invent fab, get women to join, fight off all the men with my bare hands, make 327 THOUSAND threads questioning why I wasn’t offered AS the first born, live stream my whole life to the fab cams and after all that, the only smile I got off a woman during my existence was from my father!
Ya big coddled BABY! When I were a man, I had to go to BOOTS for 16 hours a day with me mam whilst she looked at LIPSTICKS. Then lick road on way home before she'd give me a morsel of coal for ma tea. Before bed (on a tea towel I shared with my 15 siblings) I had to write 327 MILLION FAF messages whilst women laughed at my Willy on the forum because it's only 9 inches.
Well…you try an tell the young people of today that. Will they believe us…
Er...you are the young people of today!
I was just keeping up with the ending of the script
I think we’d be a strong act for the next fab talent show!
Ah sorry Jay! I didn't remember the end. I get carried away with "lick t'road clean".
For sure - sign us up!
I totally get you. For me it’s “ate a bowl of COLD gravel” "
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"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself!
I take care of myself but I'm not always perfectly shaven, hair perfectly in place and unless I'm going out it's rare I put make up on. There's too much pressure on women as it is to be this way on a daily basis without women dragging each other down too.
Who do you think is putting pressure on women in the first place? Ill give you 3 guesses...
The media
And often, other women.
Yes, true but I think that's because society has influenced many women to see themselves a certain way. "
Who is this mythical 'society' you speak of?
Society is people...and in this instance, the people in question are other women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"BTW this isn't a go at you I'm just surprised you don't already do these kind of things anyway
Why would she? It's personal grooming & taking self care of yourself!
I take care of myself but I'm not always perfectly shaven, hair perfectly in place and unless I'm going out it's rare I put make up on. There's too much pressure on women as it is to be this way on a daily basis without women dragging each other down too.
Who do you think is putting pressure on women in the first place? Ill give you 3 guesses...
The media
And often, other women.
Yes, true but I think that's because society has influenced many women to see themselves a certain way.
Who is this mythical 'society' you speak of?
Society is people...and in this instance, the people in question are other women"
What is Society? That's a very big question isn't it. |
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