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Home Alone
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My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You can find me on babe station after 12 Kevin.
Alas, no TV
That’s not very inclusive 
That took me far longer than it should of. Hoisted by my own petard again "
No TV so I guess that means no TV licence. That means no BBC |
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"You can find me on babe station after 12 Kevin.
Alas, no TV
That’s not very inclusive
That took me far longer than it should of. Hoisted by my own petard again
No TV so I guess that means no TV licence. That means no BBC "
I have a laptop and the landlady has a tv licence, so BBC is still on the cards  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You can find me on babe station after 12 Kevin.
Alas, no TV
That’s not very inclusive
That took me far longer than it should of. Hoisted by my own petard again
No TV so I guess that means no TV licence. That means no BBC
I have a laptop and the landlady has a tv licence, so BBC is still on the cards "
Keeping your options open. I like it. |
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"You can find me on babe station after 12 Kevin.
Alas, no TV
That’s not very inclusive
That took me far longer than it should of. Hoisted by my own petard again
No TV so I guess that means no TV licence. That means no BBC
I have a laptop and the landlady has a tv licence, so BBC is still on the cards
Keeping your options open. I like it."
One does what they must in these times of hardship  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements 
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse  "
Ooooh. I can do that. As long as you don't have to find it... that isn't easy apparently. |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Ooooh. I can do that. As long as you don't have to find it... that isn't easy apparently."
I'm sure I could coax one out of you |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Ooooh. I can do that. As long as you don't have to find it... that isn't easy apparently.
I'm sure I could coax one out of you"
It's started racing  |
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"Mini social at yours then, you've met a load of us already.....
Will I have to talk to people and god forbid smile though?
No.....
Yeah okay then, social at mine folks! "
I'll bring 24 Stella and a Vat of Scotch yay |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Mini social at yours then, you've met a load of us already.....
Will I have to talk to people and god forbid smile though?
No.....
Yeah okay then, social at mine folks!
I'll bring 24 Stella, porn and a Vat of Scotch yay "
Ffs Moose  |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Ooooh. I can do that. As long as you don't have to find it... that isn't easy apparently.
I'm sure I could coax one out of you
It's started racing "
Well there you go, who needs exercise when you can get somebody to see if you are alive or not |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Ooooh. I can do that. As long as you don't have to find it... that isn't easy apparently.
I'm sure I could coax one out of you
It's started racing
Well there you go, who needs exercise when you can get somebody to see if you are alive or not "
You can exercise me any time handsome  |
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"Mini social at yours then, you've met a load of us already.....
Will I have to talk to people and god forbid smile though?
No.....
Yeah okay then, social at mine folks!
I'll bring 24 Stella and a Vat of Scotch yay "
In that case the dress code will include wife beaters to go with the copious amounts of stella |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ... "
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Ooooh. I can do that. As long as you don't have to find it... that isn't easy apparently.
I'm sure I could coax one out of you
It's started racing
Well there you go, who needs exercise when you can get somebody to see if you are alive or not
You can exercise me any time handsome "
Oh my!  |
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"Stop incompetent robbers from invading your house through a series of booby traps resulting in slapstick hilarity?"
I always felt sorry for the robbers. True their poor life choices led them to that point but a smug git 10 year old inflicting such painful punishment must surely be more punishment than they deserved? |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back "
Getting my own back today |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Ooooh. I can do that. As long as you don't have to find it... that isn't easy apparently.
I'm sure I could coax one out of you
It's started racing
Well there you go, who needs exercise when you can get somebody to see if you are alive or not
You can exercise me any time handsome
Oh my! "
 |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today "
Oh sweetie. You haven't even seen half of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse "
Must be why I got an invite then.... |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Must be why I got an invite then...."
....I didnt want to say.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today "
You don't stand a chance! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Must be why I got an invite then....
....I didnt want to say...."
Love it when a man speaks nasty to me..... |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!"
Oh you think |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think "
Oh you wish |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Must be why I got an invite then....
....I didnt want to say....
Love it when a man speaks nasty to me..... "
You just like people with tongues as sharp as your own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Must be why I got an invite then....
....I didnt want to say....
Love it when a man speaks nasty to me.....
You just like people with tongues as sharp as your own"
It's a rarity off Fab and who doesn't love getting pricked in more ways than one...... ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think "
What time you sending the free porn links out?
I could do with a Lady Wank |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
That's okay, I lowered the expectations to just having a pulse
Must be why I got an invite then....
....I didnt want to say....
Love it when a man speaks nasty to me.....
You just like people with tongues as sharp as your own
It's a rarity off Fab and who doesn't love getting pricked in more ways than one...... ha ha "
I dont like being pricked at all. Tis the price one pays for being incredibly thin skinned |
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"Party at yours
Oh no, I cant be dealing with that
You can stay In your room
Touchè. I'll be hoping that princess charming comes to find me though "
Well yes since I'm not allowed a party.... yet dreamy is allowed a social... pffffft.... favourites |
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"Party at yours
Oh no, I cant be dealing with that
You can stay In your room
Touchè. I'll be hoping that princess charming comes to find me though
Well yes since I'm not allowed a party.... yet dreamy is allowed a social... pffffft.... favourites "
I never said you weren't allowed! I figured that bu this point that people are just inviting themselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Party at yours
Oh no, I cant be dealing with that
You can stay In your room
Touchè. I'll be hoping that princess charming comes to find me though
Well yes since I'm not allowed a party.... yet dreamy is allowed a social... pffffft.... favourites "
Compo,I will stand behind you (as you're loads taller than me) I insist you can go first and get what your heart desires....
Paaarrrtttyyyyy |
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"Party at yours
Oh no, I cant be dealing with that
You can stay In your room
Touchè. I'll be hoping that princess charming comes to find me though
Well yes since I'm not allowed a party.... yet dreamy is allowed a social... pffffft.... favourites
I never said you weren't allowed! I figured that by this point that people are just inviting themselves"
|
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"Party at yours
Oh no, I cant be dealing with that
You can stay In your room
Touchè. I'll be hoping that princess charming comes to find me though
Well yes since I'm not allowed a party.... yet dreamy is allowed a social... pffffft.... favourites
Compo,I will stand behind you (as you're loads taller than me) I insist you can go first and get what your heart desires....
Paaarrrtttyyyyy "
|
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish "
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman "
Doubt that ,who you trying to kid |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman
Doubt that ,who you trying to kid "
You know its true |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman
Doubt that ,who you trying to kid
You know its true "
If you guys are going to fight then you arent welcome. The last thing I want is a visit from the police thank you very much! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman
Doubt that ,who you trying to kid
You know its true
If you guys are going to fight then you arent welcome. The last thing I want is a visit from the police thank you very much! "
He does as his told really his just trying to act big |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman
Doubt that ,who you trying to kid
You know its true
If you guys are going to fight then you arent welcome. The last thing I want is a visit from the police thank you very much!
He does as his told really his just trying to act big "
This actually explains a lot, including a mystery from way back in May |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman
Doubt that ,who you trying to kid
You know its true
If you guys are going to fight then you arent welcome. The last thing I want is a visit from the police thank you very much!
He does as his told really his just trying to act big
This actually explains a lot, including a mystery from way back in May "
What was the Mystery? |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman
Doubt that ,who you trying to kid
You know its true
If you guys are going to fight then you arent welcome. The last thing I want is a visit from the police thank you very much!
He does as his told really his just trying to act big
This actually explains a lot, including a mystery from way back in May
What was the Mystery? "
Yes same question here ??  |
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"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman
Doubt that ,who you trying to kid
You know its true
If you guys are going to fight then you arent welcome. The last thing I want is a visit from the police thank you very much!
He does as his told really his just trying to act big
This actually explains a lot, including a mystery from way back in May
What was the Mystery? "
To say would be against forum rules |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to offer... but I don't meet the requirements
How so?
You want nice women... I'm a total dickhead
Just clear all floors of any impediments and Posh will be fine ..
Although tbh ...
It's ok. Some people like me flat on my back
Getting my own back today
You don't stand a chance!
Oh you think
Oh you wish
I take it easy on you lot because I'm a gentleman
Doubt that ,who you trying to kid
You know its true
If you guys are going to fight then you arent welcome. The last thing I want is a visit from the police thank you very much!
He does as his told really his just trying to act big
This actually explains a lot, including a mystery from way back in May
What was the Mystery?
To say would be against forum rules "
Well you best message me then |
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"Did somebody say party ???
They did. But what we want and what we get aren't necessarily the same thing
I want a partyyyyyyy"
Would you really come all the way to southern england for a party? I dont think you would personally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then."
here |
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"My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then.here "
Think you can make it from Wales? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then.here
Think you can make it from Wales?"
sure |
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"My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then.here
Think you can make it from Wales? sure "
Excellent, that is some commitment |
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By *afksedMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Hey Doc, send me a message.
(Don’t worry, I’m straight!)
"My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then.here
Think you can make it from Wales? sure
Excellent, that is some commitment "
|
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"Hey Doc, send me a message.
(Don’t worry, I’m straight!)
My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then.here
Think you can make it from Wales? sure
Excellent, that is some commitment "
What's stopping you from messaging me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey Doc, send me a message.
(Don’t worry, I’m straight!)
My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then.here
Think you can make it from Wales? sure
Excellent, that is some commitment
What's stopping you from messaging me?"
|
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then."
Into her underwear drawer |
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"My land lady is fucking off for 10 days so I will be enjoying a free house for the duration.
Are there any nice women out there that would like the help me out with the crushing loneliness that I will inevitably endure?... No? I didnt think so, wanking myself silly it is then.
Into her underwear drawer "
No, just no! |
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