FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Well fuck me
Well fuck me
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
1. People be crazy
2. It's warm
3. I'm tired
4. It's bastard August. And not only is it August, it is 2022. Last time I looked I'm sure it was 2007. What the hell happened there?
5. It's not butter
6. It's warm
Yes... I'm using it as an exclamation of disbelief. Anyone else got anything they can't believe? Or generally want to exclaim about? |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Yeah, where the fuck did all these e-scooters come from?
It's like demolition derby walking to the shops!"
They freaked the bejeezus out of me last time I was in a city!
We don't have them. Probably because there would just be piles of the feckers abandoned half way up hills where they couldn't cope. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex 
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point  "
Sex with a pringles box doesn't count  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, where the fuck did all these e-scooters come from?
It's like demolition derby walking to the shops!
They freaked the bejeezus out of me last time I was in a city!
We don't have them. Probably because there would just be piles of the feckers abandoned half way up hills where they couldn't cope."
If I had one I'd take a broom and go jousting |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point "
Yeah... I wouldn't have believed that either 
I don't want to believe it has been 11 weeks and 5 days... and probably about 10 hours since I last had sex.
So thanks for reminding me  |
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point
Sex with a pringles box doesn't count "
It's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours, 2 minutes and 12 seconds since I had sex |
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point
Going on 11 months here  "
I'd offer to help but there's quite a bit of water between us |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Yeah, where the fuck did all these e-scooters come from?
It's like demolition derby walking to the shops!
They freaked the bejeezus out of me last time I was in a city!
We don't have them. Probably because there would just be piles of the feckers abandoned half way up hills where they couldn't cope.
If I had one I'd take a broom and go jousting "
Now that sounds fun! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point
Going on 11 months here "
He is just showing off. The tease. |
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point
Yeah... I wouldn't have believed that either
I don't want to believe it has been 11 weeks and 5 days... and probably about 10 hours since I last had sex.
So thanks for reminding me "
You're welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can’t believe it’s 9 months since I last had sex!
I can't believe it either!
Jump on the horse. Not an actual horse though."
I intend to fix this, this month |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Get yer Raspberry Ripples in! No, its not a euphemism....
Really, where are your thoughts today?
I've got ice bags, Coca Cola, ice lolly's, cheap sparkling water from didly widly Lidly etc.
I'm tooled up like a soft drinks Rambo!!! Now just that song that that 70's/80's punk group that fab won't allow you to mention to play - you know "Peaches":-
"standing on the beaches,
staring at the peaches..."
Doooda do, dumda, dumda, doooodoodoooo (that's the base line b.t.w)
Ah fuck I've forgot me Fanta. Trip to get a 10 pack me thinks? Nectar of the "Gingas!" I'd should know....  |
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"Well fuck me, which numpty decided it would be a good idea to go to a social on Saturday?
And is now working out the least amount of clothing she can get away with. Farewell bra."
Can you find a location that has air conditioning to meet at ? |
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"Can’t believe it’s 9 months since I last had sex!
I can't believe it either!
Jump on the horse. Not an actual horse though."
I'm going to jump on* an actual horse on Thursday
*Okay, I'm going to be hoiked up in a completely awkward and unbecoming way |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Well fuck me, which numpty decided it would be a good idea to go to a social on Saturday?
And is now working out the least amount of clothing she can get away with. Farewell bra.
Can you find a location that has air conditioning to meet at ?"
Apparently the venue has got fans and air conditioning... I'm really hoping that's true! I'm sure the organisers are on it. Going to have to embrace the curls for the first time ever at a social though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't believe how hairy my toes are.
As hairy as your nipples?
Oi, I pluck those.
Have you considered using wax?
Oh hell no
Live a little "
I live lots, just hairy while I do. |
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"Well fuck me, which numpty decided it would be a good idea to go to a social on Saturday?
And is now working out the least amount of clothing she can get away with. Farewell bra.
Can you find a location that has air conditioning to meet at ?
Apparently the venue has got fans and air conditioning... I'm really hoping that's true! I'm sure the organisers are on it. Going to have to embrace the curls for the first time ever at a social though."
Oh, a group social ? I thought you meant you were meeting 'someone' and could choose where you met between just two of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can't believe how many bloody staff members in asda hang around supervising the self service checkout. Stop wasting staff and open the rest of the fucking tills will you. For the sweet mother of jesus OPEN THE TILLS
Ooooo it feels good to get that off my chest. Thanks.
That's all
Claire x |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Why just why are people moaning about the heat as it normally rains when schools are on summer break!"
Because heat is sweaty... and not in a good way. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can't believe my first born is 21 tomorrow!!! (posh birthday cake emoje!)  "
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY LUCK'S FIRSTBORN!!
I can't believe you have a 21 year old! |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I can't believe I have zero chocolate in the house I mean... this situation is completely unacceptable
Even I have chocolate in the house! (I know this because I was cleaning the cupboard of doom in the kitchen last week and it was under a big pot)"
It should be in the fridge  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Can’t believe it’s 9 months since I last had sex!
I can't believe it either!
Jump on the horse. Not an actual horse though.
I intend to fix this, this month "
Dooooooo it! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"1. Where did my 20s go?
2. Where did my 30s go?
3. Where did my 40s go?
4. Come to mention it, where did my 50s go?
"
Um... all to the same place? The dark recesses of your memorybox  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can’t believe I pulled the skin off my tattoo "
I can. You're a poker and a picker.
STOP IT.
Or I will use your disregard for your body as an excuse to start up that thing again that you told me not to. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can't believe I have zero chocolate in the house I mean... this situation is completely unacceptable
Even I have chocolate in the house! (I know this because I was cleaning the cupboard of doom in the kitchen last week and it was under a big pot)
It should be in the fridge "
You are just wrong. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can't believe I've done 96 hours in my first two weeks at my new job!
Good lord. That sounds like a lot...
It is I have swollen ankles to prove it! "
This is not ideal! Feet up, cool towel over them. That always helps me! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Any in laindon"
There are likely a fair few. But I don't know what it is you're looking for so I can't be more specific.
Ooh. Fucks maybe?
Probably are! Good luck on your quest! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can’t believe I pulled the skin off my tattoo that new tattoo is gorgeous 
Thank you. It HURTS though "
IF YOU PICK IT, IT WILL HURT.
And look shit when it heals.
STOP IT. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Get yer Raspberry Ripples in! No, its not a euphemism....
Really, where are your thoughts today?
I've got ice bags, Coca Cola, ice lolly's, cheap sparkling water from didly widly Lidly etc.
I'm tooled up like a soft drinks Rambo!!! Now just that song that that 70's/80's punk group that fab won't allow you to mention to play - you know "Peaches":-
"standing on the beaches,
staring at the peaches..."
Doooda do, dumda, dumda, doooodoodoooo (that's the base line b.t.w)
Ah fuck I've forgot me Fanta. Trip to get a 10 pack me thinks? Nectar of the "Gingas!" I'd should know.... "
I'm so confused right now. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Well fuck me, which numpty decided it would be a good idea to go to a social on Saturday?
And is now working out the least amount of clothing she can get away with. Farewell bra."
Fuck that! Sweaty underboob is not a fun thing.
Hope you and your free swinging boobs had a good time though! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Can’t believe it’s 9 months since I last had sex!
I can't believe it either!
Jump on the horse. Not an actual horse though.
I'm going to jump on* an actual horse on Thursday
*Okay, I'm going to be hoiked up in a completely awkward and unbecoming way "
Oooooh
In a riding school or are you going free range? |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I agree with most of your points but I am very confused by 6.
I can't believe it's not butter."
6 is merely a repeat because I proper am baffled at how warm it is!
I'm sorry to confuse. I feel guilty now  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can't believe how many bloody staff members in asda hang around supervising the self service checkout. Stop wasting staff and open the rest of the fucking tills will you. For the sweet mother of jesus OPEN THE TILLS
Ooooo it feels good to get that off my chest. Thanks.
That's all
Claire x"
I know, right! And if they were on tills and not just hootling about chatting, there would be less queues at tills and less demand for self service tills and then people couldn't complain that the machines are taking their jobs!
Ahhhh!
Dammit. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can't believe how hairy my toes are.
Ooooh oooh ooh! We should compare.
Ah dam it I shaved them last night, check back in a few weeks. "
You had sex?
Because surely that is the only reason to shave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Definitely warm but a decent fan dose help
I have air con indoors... but I was outdoors last evening."
Ahh definitely dose make a difference with air con but did you enjoy yourself while out doors |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Definitely warm but a decent fan dose help
I have air con indoors... but I was outdoors last evening.
Ahh definitely dose make a difference with air con but did you enjoy yourself while out doors"
Not really. It was outdoors. And warm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can’t believe I’m too tired to have a couple of beers
Have them this morning now you've slept!
I'm so helpful  "
Day out with the kids and then plenty of beers tonight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't believe how hairy my toes are.
Ooooh oooh ooh! We should compare.
Ah dam it I shaved them last night, check back in a few weeks.
You had sex?
Because surely that is the only reason to shave"
I got all excited reading that thinking I'd had sex, but no.
It was just my beauty treatment for the month.
I may do my legs in September, possibly.
|
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Well fuck me: the price of honey has gone through the roof..
It's hot...
I actually sweat from my shins...
I'll be a bona-fide northerner in 23 days.... eyyy ooop Lass
Cherry x"
You're actually going oop tharrr? For living?
HOLY FUCKADUCKA
YAYYYYYY! I mean, not in a woo hoo you're deserting us south peeps way. But... ah fuck it. You know what I mean!  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Can I fuck you.
Im sure you’ll be using the exclamation of surprise or maybe disappointment then.
But I haven't shaved my legs!
Neither have I "
This sounds like it could end up a dodgy velcro type situation |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can’t believe I’m too tired to have a couple of beers
Have them this morning now you've slept!
I'm so helpful
Day out with the kids and then plenty of beers tonight "
Ooooooh! Where we going? And any answer except "the beach" is unacceptable |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can't believe how hairy my toes are.
Ooooh oooh ooh! We should compare.
Ah dam it I shaved them last night, check back in a few weeks.
You had sex?
Because surely that is the only reason to shave
I got all excited reading that thinking I'd had sex, but no.
It was just my beauty treatment for the month.
I may do my legs in September, possibly.
"
This seems a plan.
I've saved all mine up for a couple of months. So I've got Dynorod on standby for next Tuesday, when I shall emerge from the bath smooth like dolphin  |
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"Well fuck me: the price of honey has gone through the roof..
It's hot...
I actually sweat from my shins...
I'll be a bona-fide northerner in 23 days.... eyyy ooop Lass
Cherry x
You're actually going oop tharrr? For living?
HOLY FUCKADUCKA
YAYYYYYY! I mean, not in a woo hoo you're deserting us south peeps way. But... ah fuck it. You know what I mean! "
Hahaha! Yep! It's happening! Hades deserves a medal for moving me and my shoe collection in!
Cherry x |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Well fuck me: the price of honey has gone through the roof..
It's hot...
I actually sweat from my shins...
I'll be a bona-fide northerner in 23 days.... eyyy ooop Lass
Cherry x
You're actually going oop tharrr? For living?
HOLY FUCKADUCKA
YAYYYYYY! I mean, not in a woo hoo you're deserting us south peeps way. But... ah fuck it. You know what I mean!
Hahaha! Yep! It's happening! Hades deserves a medal for moving me and my shoe collection in!
Cherry x"
ALL of them?
Duuuuuude. He is a good man
I'm having a little party in my pants over this right now xxx |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!!
Fuck me they're annoying.
They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators. "
Oh fuck me. They absolutely are. Twatwaffles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!!
Fuck me they're annoying.
They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators. "
Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh
Claire |
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"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!!
Fuck me they're annoying.
They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators.
Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh
Claire "
Yes, they also deserve a bump from the cattle prod of justice !! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!!
Fuck me they're annoying.
They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators.
Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh
Claire "
I'm concerned that we are maybe the grumpy old people... because YES! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!!
Fuck me they're annoying.
They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators.
Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh
Claire
I'm concerned that we are maybe the grumpy old people... because YES!"
That's ok, don't worry about it. The joy of been old people is we don't have to give a fuck.
Go with it, free that rage, it's good for the soul.
This is my most favourite fab post of all time Feels a bit like therapy |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!!
Fuck me they're annoying.
They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators.
Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh
Claire
I'm concerned that we are maybe the grumpy old people... because YES!
That's ok, don't worry about it. The joy of been old people is we don't have to give a fuck.
Go with it, free that rage, it's good for the soul.
This is my most favourite fab post of all time Feels a bit like therapy "
Aww thanks!
It is good to let loose once in a while! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Wtf a cucumber up your arse!! Putting salad that way does not constute one of your five a day!!!"
It's a lifestyle choice for sure.
I wonder if it still makes you burp? |
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