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Relationship vs Singledom
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I miss morning glories  "
I still have them, but these days, it's more my body stopping me pissing the bed than it is a passion for early morning sex  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The pros and the cons ?
what do you like / dislike about both ?
and is there somewhere in between or is just 1 or the other ?"
There is somewhere in between, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Single means having the very selfish ability to do as one pleases but you miss out on the comfort of having another person to share your life with.
And I like having sex on tap too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I miss my relationship. I've found swinging is dull outside of one and that it's totally pointless without.
I had freedom in my relationship. I miss the companionship.
Single life just means that I can make my
Own decisions
I miss the fantastic sex that I feel only comes from a loving relationship and cuddles.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some relationships can be as lonely as being single 
That's why I had to move on with my life - still, being single isn't all it's cracked up to be - finding I have little enough time for myself as well as being a responsible parent ...
Miss the intimacy that you can have in a relationship, that someone knows your every quirk and habit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I miss my relationship. I've found swinging is dull outside of one and that it's totally pointless without.
I had freedom in my relationship. I miss the companionship.
Single life just means that I can make my
Own decisions
I miss the fantastic sex that I feel only comes from a loving relationship and cuddles.
Cali"
Yes, similar to how I feel. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I love being single and I know I always will be, I adore the freedom of doing what I want, when I want.
I do love seeing people in relationships blissfully happy together. There is an elderly couple pass my house most days, they must be 80 and they are so joined up... they treat each other with such affection.
It is sad when I see couples out together and there are no words exchanged between them during the entire meal. |
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A good relationship is great but I reckon that being single would be better than being in a bad one. In between wouldn't be for me at all. Mr N says it depends on the individual and the type of relationship they want. |
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"I love being single and I know I always will be, I adore the freedom of doing what I want, when I want.
I do love seeing people in relationships blissfully happy together. There is an elderly couple pass my house most days, they must be 80 and they are so joined up... they treat each other with such affection.
It is sad when I see couples out together and there are no words exchanged between them during the entire meal."
 I agree, my parents are like your couple, they row like mad still though but insist on a cuddle each night before they go to sleep |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Knowing that each of you want the best for each other..
Having someone to share the glorious everyday detail of your life..
Being able to surprise each other
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love the feeling of being able to do what I want, when I want.
But miss the way my partner knows my body, the sex always seems to be better, and the way they can make a bad day disappear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
and is there somewhere in between or is just 1 or the other ?"
I was just chatting about this yesterday with a real good friend/playmate, we both admitted neither of us are 'selfless' enough for the whole being in Love malarky.
I realized this some time ago and for me, Yes, there will have to be something inbetween
Being a selfish cow if I start feeling 'obliged' towards a person, I immediately start to resent them, with this in mind I never try to make anyone else feel 'obliged' towards me.
I just want a bloody good part-time 'companion' with common interests to enjoy social stuff with and to laugh like a drain with! Sexually we should explore together as well as seperately and be glad for each other to do so.
I DO want a connection, I want to care about the person and them me and respect must be high up there. We can talk about our problems without expecting the other to magically 'fix' them.
I don't think this is impossible and I do think I'll find it one day
I just never want to have to call it anything other than 2 free people enjoying each other in every way till it stops. No regrets, no resentments just...Thanks for a lovely time, enjoy the rest of your life
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
and is there somewhere in between or is just 1 or the other ?
I was just chatting about this yesterday with a real good friend/playmate, we both admitted neither of us are 'selfless' enough for the whole being in Love malarky.
I realized this some time ago and for me, Yes, there will have to be something inbetween
Being a selfish cow if I start feeling 'obliged' towards a person, I immediately start to resent them, with this in mind I never try to make anyone else feel 'obliged' towards me.
I just want a bloody good part-time 'companion' with common interests to enjoy social stuff with and to laugh like a drain with! Sexually we should explore together as well as seperately and be glad for each other to do so.
I DO want a connection, I want to care about the person and them me and respect must be high up there. We can talk about our problems without expecting the other to magically 'fix' them.
I don't think this is impossible and I do think I'll find it one day
I just never want to have to call it anything other than 2 free people enjoying each other in every way till it stops. No regrets, no resentments just...Thanks for a lovely time, enjoy the rest of your life
"
Think that's what I want. Don't think I'll get it though.
Also liked the comment above about sometimes it being more lonely in a relationship than being single. So fricking true. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"The pros and the cons ?
what do you like / dislike about both ?
and is there somewhere in between or is just 1 or the other ?"
I have been in the same relationship since my mid teens. So have no idea what's it is like to single. Very happy with what we have got |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's one thing I wouldn't miss if I became single again and that's saying one thing and having my partner assume I've said something completely different. That drives me insane. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex is better in a relationship. Been together 21 years and its still as exciting , if not more so, than when we first met.
We both have complete freedom as well, we don't own each other.
I couldn't do without her and would hate to be single now.
We always have a snuggle in bed just before we sleep and I miss that terribly when we're apart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when you get married you have to change quite a bit for it to work.
i am not the same person i was before i got married.
i need to have a man to catch the spiders.
you have to watch what he wants to watch on the telly most of the time.
it can be a pain if you cant stand your in laws.
or if he has kids from his first marriage.
you cant live with them and you cant live without them.
i wouldnt want to be single now after being married for over 30 years.
i doubt i would find anyone i liked enough to get married to again though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love the freedom that being single gives me.
I miss cuddles but god I love having a double bed to myself!"
Oh most definately having the kingsized bed to myself. forgot that bit |
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"There's one thing I wouldn't miss if I became single again and that's saying one thing and having my partner assume I've said something completely different. That drives me insane. "
So when she reads this she'll assume you want a divorce.....just joking... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes miss the companionship you get from knowing someone is thinking the same thing as you without having to say anything - when you both click and get to the stage beyond having to verbalise everything. And the "+1" thing to weddings etc, altho a fellow (non-swinging) friend accompanies me sometimes. Oh, and sometimes a no-strings, meaningful hug would be nice. But then being only responsible for me is right up my street, and it saves money on the food shopping bill |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see the need for anyone in my life.
If I did then she'd need to be one of a few that actually made me want her that badly.
I can only count on 2 fingers the number of women who had that kind of effect on me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single means having the very selfish ability to do as one pleases but you miss out on the comfort of having another person to share your life with.
And I like having sex on tap too. "
as a single parent, my freedom and wishing to do what i want to do still doesnt happen for me!
i have to say i have thought about this lately and have come to the cunclusion..
i cant think of any reason to be in a relationship, i have a good social life, amazing friends, an excellent job, supportive family, financially ok, basically i can run the show and im not in need of sharing my life with one person as i have so many to do so with..
what i see from finding a relationship is, having to compromise over everything, having someone under my feet, putting up with their bad habits, worrying about the impact of the person in my sons life.. i just dont see anything but hassle..
as for the sexual side, im a single female on sites like this.. i have sex on tap if i wanted it! but sex isnt that important in my life.. everything else comes first.. and as long as i have my friends, work, family, pets i can easily give up sex for all of them |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I am single. Pros: doing what I want to do, whenever I want to do it. Not having people tutting or raising their eyebrows at my choice of music or film. Going to bed when I want to. Having all the quilt to myself. Not having to queue for the toilet (seriously, if I took half an hour to have a poo, I'd go to the doctors!)
Cons: No morning shags (unless I am staying with someone). No-one to go out to pubs, meals and cinemas with (although my daughter does fill in for that one sometimes). No-one to have a chat with about the programme I am watching. Lack of sex on tap. Expensive supplements on holidays.
Overall though I prefer to be single. If I didn't have my daughter I might say otherwise but she keeps me sane, and I have the lovely men on here for the naughty stuff.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been thinking about this quite a bit myself recently
whilst I'm generally happy to be single there are time when a some level of companionship just makes you feel that bit warmer....
for example spending a friday night sipping jack daniels whilst sat on the sofa watching crap tv on my own feels totally different to spending a night sipping jack daniels whilst sat on the sofa watching crap tv with some curled up with me....
so I think Fia has hit the nail on the head for me....
"I just want a bloody good part-timetime 'companion' with common interests to enjoy social stuff with and to laugh like a drain with! Sexually we should explore together as well as seperately and be glad for each other to do so.
"
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I guess the comforts and pleasures of a relationship are defined by that very relationship. A relationship based on trust, acceptance and an element of freedom to do one's own thing (not just talking about sex here) is in my world the best of both worlds.
Being in a relationship for the hell of it, for fear of being alone is not a good stance.
Equally, I have come to the conclusion over the years that expection perfection from a relationship (any relationship) every step of the way is likely to set you up for disappointment. If you are in a relationship for the long haul it is more about accepting the other with their good and bad points, about talking openly about difficulties and staying in the frame of mind that even the best relationship needs working on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive seriously got the best of both worlds. i live on my own, do what i like, then i have a man who i love more than anything and when we are together its quality time"
Is very envious!
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I guess the comforts and pleasures of a relationship are defined by that very relationship. A relationship based on trust, acceptance and an element of freedom to do one's own thing (not just talking about sex here) is in my world the best of both worlds.
Being in a relationship for the hell of it, for fear of being alone is not a good stance.
Equally, I have come to the conclusion over the years that expection perfection from a relationship (any relationship) every step of the way is likely to set you up for disappointment. If you are in a relationship for the long haul it is more about accepting the other with their good and bad points, about talking openly about difficulties and staying in the frame of mind that even the best relationship needs working on. "
#Just realised the typo...
"Equally, I have come to the conclusion over the years that expecting perfection from a relationship (any relationship) every step of the way is likely to set you up for disappointment.
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"ive seriously got the best of both worlds. i live on my own, do what i like, then i have a man who i love more than anything and when we are together its quality timeIs very envious!"
but what works for me might not work for someone else
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I have that with a someone I have known for about 20 years, we are both single, and free to do what we wish.
we have the common interests, and enjoy social stuff together,
Sexually, its great we both explore together and separately, and have had some great fun.
we care about each other deeply, and to some extent would do anything for each other, (a few weeks ago, I was rushed into hospital, I have no family so hers was the number they called, she left work to come and make sure I was ok - I am now).
We talk about anything and everything, there is not much she does not know about me, nor me her if anything.
Mutual friends keep telling us we should get together and be a couple, that's not going to happen, isn't even up for discussion from both our sides,
we are both happy as we are, single, but with that special person as a friend. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I have that with a someone I have known for about 20 years, we are both single, and free to do what we wish.
we have the common interests, and enjoy social stuff together,
Sexually, its great we both explore together and separately, and have had some great fun.
we care about each other deeply, and to some extent would do anything for each other, (a few weeks ago, I was rushed into hospital, I have no family so hers was the number they called, she left work to come and make sure I was ok - I am now).
We talk about anything and everything, there is not much she does not know about me, nor me her if anything.
Mutual friends keep telling us we should get together and be a couple, that's not going to happen, isn't even up for discussion from both our sides,
we are both happy as we are, single, but with that special person as a friend."
Sounds like you got the best of both worlds, too. |
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"I have that with a someone I have known for about 20 years, we are both single, and free to do what we wish.
we have the common interests, and enjoy social stuff together,
Sexually, its great we both explore together and separately, and have had some great fun.
we care about each other deeply, and to some extent would do anything for each other, (a few weeks ago, I was rushed into hospital, I have no family so hers was the number they called, she left work to come and make sure I was ok - I am now).
We talk about anything and everything, there is not much she does not know about me, nor me her if anything.
Mutual friends keep telling us we should get together and be a couple, that's not going to happen, isn't even up for discussion from both our sides,
we are both happy as we are, single, but with that special person as a friend.Sounds like you got the best of both worlds, too. "
we both do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was married I didnt have sex on tap but I had a live in babysitter
now im single and dont have a live in babysitter but the tap flows better
I'm happy to pay my babysitter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only good point of being in a relationship for me is regular sex lol
That really is the only thing i miss about being single, besides not getting as much sex as id like being single wins every time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Single means I can do what I want, when I want and with who I want ...
I've done the relationship bit, t shirt and paperwork..... Empty bank account too lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have that with a someone I have known for about 20 years, we are both single, and free to do what we wish.
we have the common interests, and enjoy social stuff together,
Sexually, its great we both explore together and separately, and have had some great fun.
we care about each other deeply, and to some extent would do anything for each other, (a few weeks ago, I was rushed into hospital, I have no family so hers was the number they called, she left work to come and make sure I was ok - I am now).
We talk about anything and everything, there is not much she does not know about me, nor me her if anything.
Mutual friends keep telling us we should get together and be a couple, that's not going to happen, isn't even up for discussion from both our sides,
we are both happy as we are, single, but with that special person as a friend."
See! it does exist I just have to find mine now |
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"The pros and the cons ?
what do you like / dislike about both ?
and is there somewhere in between or is just 1 or the other ?
There is somewhere in between, "
There are lots of places inbetween... happy places. |
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