Start by actually reading the profile first. Base your message on this.
For example I say I don't do phone sex and don't use kik etc yet I get so many first messages asking for these.
Instant delete right there.
Ask a question based on the profile to show that you are interested. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Depends entirely on...
The day of the week
The time of day
My mood
How tired I am
What my hormones are doing
If I fancy talking
How many messages I have
How busy I am
If I have coffee
If my back hurts
If my head hurts
Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius
How long it has been since I last had the sexy times
How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times
Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down
If I put knickers on
How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time
What the profile of the person sending the message is like
What the pictures of the person sending the message is like
Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts
If I actually venture into my inbox
(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)
What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But I'm a perfectionist, so here's hoping lol
You don’t ask for much 
Tell me about it, I'm so picky I'm my own worst enemy  "
I prefer not to receive any at all anymore
My favourite kind of message is someone who’s got a clear face pic and says simply that want to try a club, what night they want to go and where and then they take my advice and go! And then they get to love it and tell me all about it! Non pushy, respectful and just leave me alone if I don’t reply  |
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"Depends entirely on...
The day of the week
The time of day
My mood
How tired I am
What my hormones are doing
If I fancy talking
How many messages I have
How busy I am
If I have coffee
If my back hurts
If my head hurts
Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius
How long it has been since I last had the sexy times
How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times
Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down
If I put knickers on
How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time
What the profile of the person sending the message is like
What the pictures of the person sending the message is like
Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts
If I actually venture into my inbox
(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)
What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry."
What she said  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Depends entirely on...
The day of the week
The time of day
My mood
How tired I am
What my hormones are doing
If I fancy talking
How many messages I have
How busy I am
If I have coffee
If my back hurts
If my head hurts
Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius
How long it has been since I last had the sexy times
How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times
Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down
If I put knickers on
How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time
What the profile of the person sending the message is like
What the pictures of the person sending the message is like
Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts
If I actually venture into my inbox
(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)
What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry."
Ok maybe I used the wrong wording by saying “perfect message “
Maybe ideal message would be a better choice of wording |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"Depends entirely on...
The day of the week
The time of day
My mood
How tired I am
What my hormones are doing
If I fancy talking
How many messages I have
How busy I am
If I have coffee
If my back hurts
If my head hurts
Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius
How long it has been since I last had the sexy times
How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times
Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down
If I put knickers on
How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time
What the profile of the person sending the message is like
What the pictures of the person sending the message is like
Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts
If I actually venture into my inbox
(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)
What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry.
Ok maybe I used the wrong wording by saying “perfect message “
Maybe ideal message would be a better choice of wording "
Probably best just asking if they fancy a fuck |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Depends entirely on...
The day of the week
The time of day
My mood
How tired I am
What my hormones are doing
If I fancy talking
How many messages I have
How busy I am
If I have coffee
If my back hurts
If my head hurts
Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius
How long it has been since I last had the sexy times
How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times
Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down
If I put knickers on
How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time
What the profile of the person sending the message is like
What the pictures of the person sending the message is like
Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts
If I actually venture into my inbox
(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)
What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry.
Ok maybe I used the wrong wording by saying “perfect message “
Maybe ideal message would be a better choice of wording "
Same thing applies though. Sorry.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Depends entirely on...
The day of the week
The time of day
My mood
How tired I am
What my hormones are doing
If I fancy talking
How many messages I have
How busy I am
If I have coffee
If my back hurts
If my head hurts
Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius
How long it has been since I last had the sexy times
How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times
Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down
If I put knickers on
How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time
What the profile of the person sending the message is like
What the pictures of the person sending the message is like
Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts
If I actually venture into my inbox
(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)
What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry.
Ok maybe I used the wrong wording by saying “perfect message “
Maybe ideal message would be a better choice of wording
Same thing applies though. Sorry. "
oh really? Bloody hell
That’s me out of options then lol |
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Ideal? Say something that tells me you read my profile - be specific about why you’re interested in me, and importantly, why i might be interested in you (read my profile) And make sure you have pics in your profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The best thing to send us is something different.
Something nobody else has said. That’ll get our attention more than anything.
Other than that just something that shows they’ve read the profile and match what we are looking for or maybe an engaging question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For me personally a first message can be as simple as a “Hey, are you you?”
In my mind interactions on Fab are no different to real life, if I met you in a bar and you started talking to me with a long monologue I would find that weird, make my excuses and move on. A simple greeting, test the water, cheesy chat up line are perfectly OK with me. |
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I don't mind short 1st messages as long as it's not just 1 words or want to meet now, even worse just a dick pic.
I find it hard writing messages to people I don't know and don't know if I have anything in common with, so a hi how are you both, is fine.
I don't expect an essay or anything more.
Mrs |
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"For me personally a first message can be as simple as a “Hey, are you you?”
In my mind interactions on Fab are no different to real life, if I met you in a bar and you started talking to me with a long monologue I would find that weird, make my excuses and move on. A simple greeting, test the water, cheesy chat up line are perfectly OK with me. "
Women get tons of these 'hi how are you?' messages every day. For most they don't stand out as anything new and simply get deleted. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
The thing is, OP, any one of the things I mentioned up there ^^, and so much more, can change my reaction to any given message at any time.
One day I may respond to a "Hi" with a "Hi" and end up chatting, 30 minutes later I won't. I may respond to a carefully written message that references my profile tomorrow, but that could be the only one of those I'll answer in 8 weeks or more.
I don't even open my inbox most days, unless I'm on a forum thread that involves messages or I'm actually actively chatting to someone (usually off the back of a forum post). So maybe I've missed dozens of ideal messages from great guys.
I missed out on a gorgeous first message from the man I'm in love with because I deleted the whole inbox. And 10 days later we connected on a forum thread. His message was lovely (and pretty much perfect for how I was feeling at the time, I'd have answered) but I didn't even see it.
There is no such thing as an ideal or perfect message, only great timing (and attraction). |
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