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1st club experience…
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I’ve never been to a club and would love to know how you all found your very first experience…
The good, the bad and the ugly, your top tips, no no’s, what to wear, best nights for a beginner to go etc. Thanks all  |
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There's a big difference between my first night and your first night! You'll have people falling over you.
It all depends on the club, the night, try to get there early to get a proper tour as some of them are like rat runs!
And maybe go to one of the organised meets so you can chat to some of the Guestlist before hand.
I was a bit overwhelmed on my first go but gets better. |
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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago
Worcestershire |
What to wear depends on the club. Some are more nightclub feel, others based around a spa
Be open to the experience - don't have preconceived ideas, chat to everyone as you never know. And don't drink too much |
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My first club experience was really my first step into swinging.
It was 6yrs ago and I attended xtasia alone.
I didn't expect anything and I wasn't shocked.
I worn a little black dress and as the evening progressed I changed into a nice set of undies and had a sheer cover up
The staff at the club were brilliant and introduced me to lots of regulars. I stayed with them all night. I didn't play but had offers
The best pieces of advice I can give is
Don't drink too much
Wear what you are comfortable in, maybe have different outfits
Be open minded about the other guests. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Daytimes are usually quieter so would do first visit then to get a feel of the place. You will love club life. Can't believe how incredible they are. Do a weekend in Blackpool and do infusion and club play. Best time guaranteed good luck xxx |
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"My first club experience was really my first step into swinging.
It was 6yrs ago and I attended xtasia alone.
I didn't expect anything and I wasn't shocked.
I worn a little black dress and as the evening progressed I changed into a nice set of undies and had a sheer cover up
The staff at the club were brilliant and introduced me to lots of regulars. I stayed with them all night. I didn't play but had offers
The best pieces of advice I can give is
Don't drink too much
Wear what you are comfortable in, maybe have different outfits
Be open minded about the other guests."
Thank you that’s really helpful! X |
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"Good. Stripped off and in the hot tubs pretty quick. Inhibitions meaningless. Nobody cares about size or shape. Very sociable. Recommend club F at Chester le Street, near you  x"
Is Shhh any good? Chester Le Street is a bit out the way for me x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't been to many clubs but remember my first experience. I'd say take things at your own pace, don't feel the need to do what everyone else is doing just because it seems like a "normal" thing to do in a club. People will be half naked, they'll be having sex and it can seem daunting if you're not used to that surrounding. But people can be really friendly and if you have a good group around you, you can have a great night out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve never been to a club and would love to know how you all found your very first experience…
The good, the bad and the ugly, your top tips, no no’s, what to wear, best nights for a beginner to go etc. Thanks all "
We haven’t been to a club yet, so following the thread for the tips and advice, too
Hope you have fun when you eventually visit a club!
F (Mrs) |
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"There's a big difference between my first night and your first night! You'll have people falling over you.
It all depends on the club, the night, try to get there early to get a proper tour as some of them are like rat runs!
And maybe go to one of the organised meets so you can chat to some of the Guestlist before hand.
I was a bit overwhelmed on my first go but gets better. "
Haha thank you well I love attention so can imagine that would be nice, as long as they were too persistent ha x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plan for your first night to be an experiment so no expectations to play, if you do then its a bonus. Choose a time that suits your mindset; weeknights and daytimes are quieter, Friday & Saturdays are busier, do you want a time with Single guys there or just couples & women? Check their calendar to find what fits. Wear sexy casual wear you're comfortable in, & lingerie underneath, in case you feel like showing it off. Can sometimes be overly hot depending on where you go, with jacuzzis & heating on. You'll get introduced to a regular for your tour so you will know 1 person at least. I found chatting to the women in the locker room helped my nerves the first time. There will likely be every age & body type there, someone for everyone & no means no so just say the word if you aren't comfortable. Lastly, enjoy yourself  |
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"Plan for your first night to be an experiment so no expectations to play, if you do then its a bonus. Choose a time that suits your mindset; weeknights and daytimes are quieter, Friday & Saturdays are busier, do you want a time with Single guys there or just couples & women? Check their calendar to find what fits. Wear sexy casual wear you're comfortable in, & lingerie underneath, in case you feel like showing it off. Can sometimes be overly hot depending on where you go, with jacuzzis & heating on. You'll get introduced to a regular for your tour so you will know 1 person at least. I found chatting to the women in the locker room helped my nerves the first time. There will likely be every age & body type there, someone for everyone & no means no so just say the word if you aren't comfortable. Lastly, enjoy yourself "
Great advice! Thank you! I’m undecided whether to go alone or go with a girl friend. I think I’d be looking to play with single guys or couples |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Not what I expected, but better than I had hoped.
Can I ask how was it different to what you expected? X"
I thought it was going to be a roman orgy, just masses of bodies writhing on the floor, no holes barred, just get naked and dive right in. Mainly through a lack of understanding, knowledge and listening to tabloids and gossip.
Thankfully it had a bit more decorum, and I didn’t have to get my willy out if I didn’t want to. |
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My first club visit was to No.3, in Chorley, and was very much an anti climax. It felt more like a Sunday afternoon in a working men’s club, than what I imagined a Friday night in a swingers’ club might be, from all the stories I had read in the forums.
It wasn’t the busiest of nights, there weren’t many people in, but I did chat with some couples and other single guys while I was there.
As others have said OP, your club experience is likely to be the polar opposite to any single guy’s, wherever you go. Have fun  |
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"I thought it was going to be a roman orgy, just masses of bodies writhing on the floor, no holes barred, just get naked and dive right in. Mainly through a lack of understanding, knowledge and listening to tabloids and gossip.
Thankfully it had a bit more decorum, and I didn’t have to get my willy out if I didn’t want to."
Yes I suppose I wonder how quick things tend to heat up, whether it starts a bit slower and then continues for most or all of the night |
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"My first club visit was to No.3, in Chorley, and was very much an anti climax. It felt more like a Sunday afternoon in a working men’s club, than what I imagined a Friday night in a swingers’ club might be, from all the stories I had read in the forums.
It wasn’t the busiest of nights, there weren’t many people in, but I did chat with some couples and other single guys while I was there.
As others have said OP, your club experience is likely to be the polar opposite to any single guy’s, wherever you go. Have fun "
Oh dear! I bet that wasn’t what you anticipated at all, hope you’ve had some good experiences since then x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not what I expected, but better than I had hoped.
Can I ask how was it different to what you expected? X
I thought it was going to be a roman orgy, just masses of bodies writhing on the floor, no holes barred, just get naked and dive right in. Mainly through a lack of understanding, knowledge and listening to tabloids and gossip.
Thankfully it had a bit more decorum, and I didn’t have to get my willy out if I didn’t want to."
Good point! The bar area is okay with clothes on, play areas need less. Some clubs have a time where the bar area also turns to less but not all so worth a check. You will see people doing everything, some times its smokin' hot, other times its not but you can leave them to it. Stone people keep to their friends, others mingle & chat. Some single guys will follow women they like around the play areas but usually just hang about watching & hoping for an invite to join. This can happen on couples only nights too but less so. I like to call them the wanking dead  but they are harmless really. Eye contact & smiling is a perfect invite to chat with anyone, and a firm 'no thanks' should divert anyone you aren't interested in, but any issues chat to the staff & they should help you right away xo |
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"My first club visit was to No.3, in Chorley, and was very much an anti climax. It felt more like a Sunday afternoon in a working men’s club, than what I imagined a Friday night in a swingers’ club might be, from all the stories I had read in the forums.
It wasn’t the busiest of nights, there weren’t many people in, but I did chat with some couples and other single guys while I was there.
As others have said OP, your club experience is likely to be the polar opposite to any single guy’s, wherever you go. Have fun
Oh dear! I bet that wasn’t what you anticipated at all, hope you’ve had some good experiences since then x"
I have over the years thank you, and mostly outside the club scene lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not what I expected, but better than I had hoped.
Can I ask how was it different to what you expected? X
I thought it was going to be a roman orgy, just masses of bodies writhing on the floor, no holes barred, just get naked and dive right in. Mainly through a lack of understanding, knowledge and listening to tabloids and gossip.
Thankfully it had a bit more decorum, and I didn’t have to get my willy out if I didn’t want to.
Good point! The bar area is okay with clothes on, play areas need less. Some clubs have a time where the bar area also turns to less but not all so worth a check. You will see people doing everything, some times its smokin' hot, other times its not but you can leave them to it. Stone people keep to their friends, others mingle & chat. Some single guys will follow women they like around the play areas but usually just hang about watching & hoping for an invite to join. This can happen on couples only nights too but less so. I like to call them the wanking dead but they are harmless really. Eye contact & smiling is a perfect invite to chat with anyone, and a firm 'no thanks' should divert anyone you aren't interested in, but any issues chat to the staff & they should help you right away xo"
Some not stone* |
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"I’ve never been to a club and would love to know how you all found your very first experience…
The good, the bad and the ugly, your top tips, no no’s, what to wear, best nights for a beginner to go etc. Thanks all "
Youre in Newcastle so the closest club to you is Club Shhh and Club F.
Can't comment on Club Shhhh (not been yet) but Club F is very welcoming to first timers.
On our first go we where given a tour and told the Club rules which boils down to no means no and ladies rule the roost (and the staff will look out for you).
They have lots of themed nights but Fridays are aimed at singles and Saturdays at couples and single ladies with a limited amount of guys allowed.
It's always been a freindly crowd when weve gone.
As for.what to wear, wear whatever you like. If you want to go dressed down you can get changed there. Many go dressed for a night out then dress down when they get there.
All in all we recommend Club f for a first time visit but you can check out reviews for all clubs in the club section part of the site and make uour own mind up on where is best for you.
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"Good point! The bar area is okay with clothes on, play areas need less. Some clubs have a time where the bar area also turns to less but not all so worth a check. You will see people doing everything, some times its smokin' hot, other times its not but you can leave them to it. Stone people keep to their friends, others mingle & chat. Some single guys will follow women they like around the play areas but usually just hang about watching & hoping for an invite to join. This can happen on couples only nights too but less so. I like to call them the wanking dead but they are harmless really. Eye contact & smiling is a perfect invite to chat with anyone, and a firm 'no thanks' should divert anyone you aren't interested in, but any issues chat to the staff & they should help you right away xo"
The wanking dead haha yes I’ve heard that expression before. I wouldn’t want them getting too close, so would hope they’d respectfully back off, if not invited x |
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"Good. Stripped off and in the hot tubs pretty quick. Inhibitions meaningless. Nobody cares about size or shape. Very sociable. Recommend club F at Chester le Street, near you x
Is Shhh any good? Chester Le Street is a bit out the way for me x"
Not been. I hear it's OK x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve never been to a club and would love to know how you all found your very first experience…
The good, the bad and the ugly, your top tips, no no’s, what to wear, best nights for a beginner to go etc. Thanks all
Youre in Newcastle so the closest club to you is Club Shhh and Club F.
Can't comment on Club Shhhh (not been yet) but Club F is very welcoming to first timers.
On our first go we where given a tour and told the Club rules which boils down to no means no and ladies rule the roost (and the staff will look out for you).
They have lots of themed nights but Fridays are aimed at singles and Saturdays at couples and single ladies with a limited amount of guys allowed.
It's always been a freindly crowd when weve gone.
As for.what to wear, wear whatever you like. If you want to go dressed down you can get changed there. Many go dressed for a night out then dress down when they get there.
All in all we recommend Club f for a first time visit but you can check out reviews for all clubs in the club section part of the site and make uour own mind up on where is best for you.
"
Club F was my first club many moons ago, I remember finding it hard to spot the entrance initially but great once inside. The regulars were super chatty & friendly to first timers |
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"I’ve never been to a club and would love to know how you all found your very first experience…
The good, the bad and the ugly, your top tips, no no’s, what to wear, best nights for a beginner to go etc. Thanks all
Youre in Newcastle so the closest club to you is Club Shhh and Club F.
Can't comment on Club Shhhh (not been yet) but Club F is very welcoming to first timers.
On our first go we where given a tour and told the Club rules which boils down to no means no and ladies rule the roost (and the staff will look out for you).
They have lots of themed nights but Fridays are aimed at singles and Saturdays at couples and single ladies with a limited amount of guys allowed.
It's always been a freindly crowd when weve gone.
As for.what to wear, wear whatever you like. If you want to go dressed down you can get changed there. Many go dressed for a night out then dress down when they get there.
All in all we recommend Club f for a first time visit but you can check out reviews for all clubs in the club section part of the site and make uour own mind up on where is best for you.
Club F was my first club many moons ago, I remember finding it hard to spot the entrance initially but great once inside. The regulars were super chatty & friendly to first timers"
Yes, it's lovely. The village is Stanley. Big red door and it's like a comfortable pub |
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"Youre in Newcastle so the closest club to you is Club Shhh and Club F.
Can't comment on Club Shhhh (not been yet) but Club F is very welcoming to first timers.
On our first go we where given a tour and told the Club rules which boils down to no means no and ladies rule the roost (and the staff will look out for you).
They have lots of themed nights but Fridays are aimed at singles and Saturdays at couples and single ladies with a limited amount of guys allowed.
It's always been a freindly crowd when weve gone.
As for.what to wear, wear whatever you like. If you want to go dressed down you can get changed there. Many go dressed for a night out then dress down when they get there.
All in all we recommend Club f for a first time visit but you can check out reviews for all clubs in the club section part of the site and make uour own mind up on where is best for you."
Great advice, thank you. Seems like Club F is the place to start x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not a fan i got sex but got way more than i bargained for accidental gangbangs flying rogue winkys grabby cheeky cunt wanking dead and all that shite  never again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good point! The bar area is okay with clothes on, play areas need less. Some clubs have a time where the bar area also turns to less but not all so worth a check. You will see people doing everything, some times its smokin' hot, other times its not but you can leave them to it. Stone people keep to their friends, others mingle & chat. Some single guys will follow women they like around the play areas but usually just hang about watching & hoping for an invite to join. This can happen on couples only nights too but less so. I like to call them the wanking dead but they are harmless really. Eye contact & smiling is a perfect invite to chat with anyone, and a firm 'no thanks' should divert anyone you aren't interested in, but any issues chat to the staff & they should help you right away xo
The wanking dead haha yes I’ve heard that expression before. I wouldn’t want them getting too close, so would hope they’d respectfully back off, if not invited x"
Most will loiter in the doorways, 1-2m away from you watching if your playing with someone, but the odd one may come close, but the no thanks should do the job, if you're in the bar they won't do this, just when you wander to the play area. If you like any, be prepared to make it really obvious with your eye contact so they know its OK to come over & chat in the bar. Or if your confident (I'm not) you can approach them. Its just chat in the bar, no pressure to play xo |
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"Im not a fan i got sex but got way more than i bargained for accidental gangbangs flying rogue winkys grabby cheeky cunt wanking dead and all that shite never again "
Haha sorry that made me lol flying rogue winkys. I suppose that is what worries me, someone trying to touch without being invited.i hope they are few and far between x |
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"Youre in Newcastle so the closest club to you is Club Shhh and Club F.
Can't comment on Club Shhhh (not been yet) but Club F is very welcoming to first timers.
On our first go we where given a tour and told the Club rules which boils down to no means no and ladies rule the roost (and the staff will look out for you).
They have lots of themed nights but Fridays are aimed at singles and Saturdays at couples and single ladies with a limited amount of guys allowed.
It's always been a freindly crowd when weve gone.
As for.what to wear, wear whatever you like. If you want to go dressed down you can get changed there. Many go dressed for a night out then dress down when they get there.
All in all we recommend Club f for a first time visit but you can check out reviews for all clubs in the club section part of the site and make uour own mind up on where is best for you.
Great advice, thank you. Seems like Club F is the place to start x"
I can vouch for Club f being a great club. My best club experiences have all been in there, and it’s a great setup over three floors  |
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"Im not a fan i got sex but got way more than i bargained for accidental gangbangs flying rogue winkys grabby cheeky cunt wanking dead and all that shite never again
Haha sorry that made me lol flying rogue winkys. I suppose that is what worries me, someone trying to touch without being invited.i hope they are few and far between x"
There's the wanking dead, but don't worry about random touches. There's plenty of people about to intervene x |
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"Is it acceptable to ask someone to stop watching if they were creeping you out or is it fair game that anyone can watch within close range if you’re in a more open space? "
There are private rooms, with lockable doors and curtains. You don't have to 'perform' in front of others x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it acceptable to ask someone to stop watching if they were creeping you out or is it fair game that anyone can watch within close range if you’re in a more open space? "
I can't speak definitively for all clubs...
But any which doesn't allow you to enforce yr consent should be left post haste. |
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"Is it acceptable to ask someone to stop watching if they were creeping you out or is it fair game that anyone can watch within close range if you’re in a more open space? "
If you are in an open room it’s par for the course. If you don’t want to be watched go in a private room. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not a fan i got sex but got way more than i bargained for accidental gangbangs flying rogue winkys grabby cheeky cunt wanking dead and all that shite never again
Haha sorry that made me lol flying rogue winkys. I suppose that is what worries me, someone trying to touch without being invited.i hope they are few and far between x"
during 5 mins i had to do well over 10 judo chops to sneaky hands a few growls n snarls and drag a sneaky head from drying to get between her legs my advice take a body guard or 10 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it acceptable to ask someone to stop watching if they were creeping you out or is it fair game that anyone can watch within close range if you’re in a more open space?
If you are in an open room it’s par for the course. If you don’t want to be watched go in a private room. "
yet in a bar thats sexual assault hmmm funny that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's the wanking dead, but don't worry about random touches. There's plenty of people about to intervene x
Do some clubs have security or do they just have the club hosts? "
I haven't been to 1 with security as generally not needed. It is not like a standard bar with male behaviour (reality for many women in a normal club, is there are passing gropes, close body to body bumps & aggressive body language/chat, etc), single men in the swingers clubs I've been to are way more held back & mild in inital approach, the odd 1 may dial up to normal bar level but a 'no' would send them away where as in a normal bar you'd have all the backwards/forwards agg of saying no, I like women, I have a boyfriend, etc, etc. Also others around you, regulars etc, staff would deal with them sharpish if they did anything inappropriate or ignored your no. As others have said, there are open rooms & private rooms, so you play where you are comfortable, if at all xo |
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"during 5 mins i had to do well over 10 judo chops to sneaky hands a few growls n snarls and drag a sneaky head from drying to get between her legs my advice take a body guard or 10"
Yeah that’s what I’m wondering, whether it might be worth going with another guy for the first time. Sad as it is, I think some blokes (of course not all, I’m sure most are very respectful) may pay more attention at being told to back off by another man? |
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"Is it acceptable to ask someone to stop watching if they were creeping you out or is it fair game that anyone can watch within close range if you’re in a more open space? "
My first experience was in club Shh, and I went with a playmate who was also a virgin clobber. The staff were very welcoming, gave us a tour and kept checking in with us through the night. Various rooms to play in and various rules/guidelines. So, in some more smaller and private rooms, you can choose to leave the door open and people cannot cross the threshold without your
permission if you’re in that room playing. Or you can close the door, or leave it open for people to watch.
All in all, it was a good introduction to a club. Plus it was quite quiet as I think it had just reopened after covid and a refurb.
|
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"I haven't been to 1 with security as generally not needed. It is not like a standard bar with male behaviour (reality for many women in a normal club, is there are passing gropes, close body to body bumps & aggressive body language/chat, etc), single men in the swingers clubs I've been to are way more held back & mild in inital approach, the odd 1 may dial up to normal bar level but a 'no' would send them away where as in a normal bar you'd have all the backwards/forwards agg of saying no, I like women, I have a boyfriend, etc, etc. Also others around you, regulars etc, staff would deal with them sharpish if they did anything inappropriate or ignored your no. As others have said, there are open rooms & private rooms, so you play where you are comfortable, if at all xo"
Thank you that reassurance appreciate all the feedback. For the most part it seems very positive. I think, as you’ve said, it’s just the unknown, as I only have experience of ‘normal’ bars and clubs which can be very sexually aggressive. I would hope that you are right and the men would be more respectful of your space and boundaries without an invitation x |
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This is a good thread. I’ve considered going to chams a few times in the midlands but so unsure what to expect as a single girl. I’d probably be happy just sitting at the bar watching the world go by for my first time then see how I feel beyond that. I think if you go once your actually really enjoy but it is rather daunting even for guys never mind single girls |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't been to 1 with security as generally not needed. It is not like a standard bar with male behaviour (reality for many women in a normal club, is there are passing gropes, close body to body bumps & aggressive body language/chat, etc), single men in the swingers clubs I've been to are way more held back & mild in inital approach, the odd 1 may dial up to normal bar level but a 'no' would send them away where as in a normal bar you'd have all the backwards/forwards agg of saying no, I like women, I have a boyfriend, etc, etc. Also others around you, regulars etc, staff would deal with them sharpish if they did anything inappropriate or ignored your no. As others have said, there are open rooms & private rooms, so you play where you are comfortable, if at all xo
Thank you that reassurance appreciate all the feedback. For the most part it seems very positive. I think, as you’ve said, it’s just the unknown, as I only have experience of ‘normal’ bars and clubs which can be very sexually aggressive. I would hope that you are right and the men would be more respectful of your space and boundaries without an invitation x"
I was terrified my first time! But I soon loved it, even just wearing lingerie & being watched, watching. Its a rush. But you will see things that make you go omg too! Go with no intention to play the first time & if you hate it, you never have to go back! Then anything else will be a sexy fun bonus xo |
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"My first experience was in club Shh, and I went with a playmate who was also a virgin clobber. The staff were very welcoming, gave us a tour and kept checking in with us through the night. Various rooms to play in and various rules/guidelines. So, in some more smaller and private rooms, you can choose to leave the door open and people cannot cross the threshold without your
permission if you’re in that room playing. Or you can close the door, or leave it open for people to watch.
All in all, it was a good introduction to a club. Plus it was quite quiet as I think it had just reopened after covid and a refurb. "
I really like that idea that they can watch from a specified distance and then can be invited in. I would feel much more comfortable with that. I’m just very selective and just because you might want to have fun with multiple people doesn’t mean your standards go out the window x |
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"My first experience was in club Shh, and I went with a playmate who was also a virgin clobber. The staff were very welcoming, gave us a tour and kept checking in with us through the night. Various rooms to play in and various rules/guidelines. So, in some more smaller and private rooms, you can choose to leave the door open and people cannot cross the threshold without your
permission if you’re in that room playing. Or you can close the door, or leave it open for people to watch.
All in all, it was a good introduction to a club. Plus it was quite quiet as I think it had just reopened after covid and a refurb.
I really like that idea that they can watch from a specified distance and then can be invited in. I would feel much more comfortable with that. I’m just very selective and just because you might want to have fun with multiple people doesn’t mean your standards go out the window x"
Best advice would be to go with a fella you’re comfortable with. Set out your ideas/plans with him and as long as he’s on board, get yourself over there, and get a feel for the club. I’m pretty sure at most places, single guys are limited, but I think you’ll be fine and you’ll get on with most people who you chat to. Get your first experience arranged and then take things from there x |
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"Best advice would be to go with a fella you’re comfortable with. Set out your ideas/plans with him and as long as he’s on board, get yourself over there, and get a feel for the club. I’m pretty sure at most places, single guys are limited, but I think you’ll be fine and you’ll get on with most people who you chat to. Get your first experience arranged and then take things from there x"
Yes I think you’re right, that sounds like a good plan. Is it more popular to have club nights with majority of couples rather then single guys or girls? X |
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"Best advice would be to go with a fella you’re comfortable with. Set out your ideas/plans with him and as long as he’s on board, get yourself over there, and get a feel for the club. I’m pretty sure at most places, single guys are limited, but I think you’ll be fine and you’ll get on with most people who you chat to. Get your first experience arranged and then take things from there x
Yes I think you’re right, that sounds like a good plan. Is it more popular to have club nights with majority of couples rather then single guys or girls? X"
I think that depends on what you are comfortable with. But I’d say there will be more couples at clubs than singles. You can always check out club reviews on fab on the homepage.And maybe chat to someone there, or try getting in touch with someone who has made a comment. Some clubs do have themed nights, so it’s always best to go to their website and check what’s on x |
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"I think that depends on what you are comfortable with. But I’d say there will be more couples at clubs than singles. You can always check out club reviews on fab on the homepage.And maybe chat to someone there, or try getting in touch with someone who has made a comment. Some clubs do have themed nights, so it’s always best to go to their website and check what’s on x"
I sometimes worry that as a single girl (unicorn?) the female partner in a couple would be bitchy towards me, so didnt know if it would better to go a singles night, although I suppose the whole point of swinging is that they might like to share. I guess everyone just has slightly different preferences x |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Without being disparaging to single guys or couples, the first club night experience for single women is really going to be very different to theirs.
In my experience as a single guy in clubs, it’s dramatically alters when I’m with my partner and I can only assume it will do so again for a single female.
The best advice that I can offer is pick the club and night with care, try to make a few connections prior to the event (without commitment) and go without preconceptions. Oh, and enjoy! |
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"I think that depends on what you are comfortable with. But I’d say there will be more couples at clubs than singles. You can always check out club reviews on fab on the homepage.And maybe chat to someone there, or try getting in touch with someone who has made a comment. Some clubs do have themed nights, so it’s always best to go to their website and check what’s on x
I sometimes worry that as a single girl (unicorn?) the female partner in a couple would be bitchy towards me, so didnt know if it would better to go a singles night, although I suppose the whole point of swinging is that they might like to share. I guess everyone just has slightly different preferences x"
You’re right, I have heard that can happen, even when you’ve arranged it with them. But I’d go with an open mind, I doubt that would happen, so just be yourself, have an idea of what you’d like to happen, and if you go with someone, at least you can have fun with them and try out a few rooms together. Just have fun x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think you need a guy friend in particular, just a friend to have someone to hang out with. Many women go alone or with women & feel safe. You can just pick your playmate(s) & go in a private room, if inclined, to limit any unwanted encounters.
If you want to go with a guy & play with him, great, but don't feel you have to have a guy buddy with you. Also what happens if you go with him, but want to play with another guy in a private room for a while when you get there, will he mind doing his own thing? Make sure your clear on both of your expectations if you go with someone you *might play with.
I think its easy to gauge where everyone is at in the bar, if you chat to both. We meet as a couple so sometimes find 1 part of a couple is more into the scene/situation than the other, & we also avoid those to prevent any drama fallout. But you may find the women in the couples hitting on you more, |
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I went with my FwB and I was apprehensive… he assured me if I felt uncomfortable we would leave.
It depends if it’s a straight into lingerie mode or dress down later - check first. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in for an evening out and change into something sexy later.
I always carried a little black velvet dolly bag with condoms, my little vibe and wipes.
Don’t be afraid to say NO and in club settings it does mean No. staff may suggest a trusted regular to buddy up with if that helps
Once you’ve been you will most likely be hooked and addicted! It’s a great experience |
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Our first experience was in January and was at Chams. We were so nervous going into it. If Amy would of given me 1 single reason for us not to go, I would of happily stayed in that night. My ass did some serious sweating on that drive there.
Once we got there, you walk in to a lite reception bit, you go through all the paperwork stuff, pay, then someone meets you the other side of the door. They show you around, then take you to the locker room. You get your kit off (or put on your sexy underwear) and boom. Good to go.
The most uncomfortable part of that, for sure, was us being shown around. Eyes were on us. As soon as we got undressed however and you're the same as everyone else, all that fear goes away. We honestly felt at home almost immediately.
We've gone 7/8 times since and every time we go it gets better. There is a learning curve for sure, and I'd be lying if I said every second has been amazing. We've definitely learnt, sometimes the hard way, what we like and what we don't. But once you've made the mistake once, you won't do it again.. That's how we see it.
Everyone we've encountered has been super friendly for the most part. We've now got friends that we talk to often from Chams and any nerves we had are replaced by eagerness to get back. Any situation you find yourself in that you're not 100% comfortable with, or do happen to meet someone you don't like, get the hell out of it or away from them. Simple as that.
The staff will always be there to help you as it's always going to be in their best interests to help you. And always feel safe in knowing that no means no.
How I see it, we only fail if we don't try something. Go, experience it, then you'll know exactly what it's like and decide if you want more. You'll probably end up like the rest of us.. Completely hooked and gagging for more haha x |
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This is all great advice! Thanks everyone! Think I’m going to speak to one of my girl friends and try and get something arranged. I’m confident enough to know my limits and would be ok to tell someone a polite but firm ‘no’. From what you’ve all said, the staff all sound great at the venues and that makes me feel reassured.
I do think I’d find myself getting hooked, as most of you have suggested. It must be a great experience the majority of the time or their wouldn’t be thousands of us here would there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We went to Pandora’s in Leeds. We were so scared we took the car and stayed sober so we could have a quick getaway if it wasn’t for us.
After sitting in the car for about half an hour making excuses not to go in we worked up the courage and went for it.
We got the tour and then a sat down on the bar area. I went up to get a drink and another Geordie couple recognised our accents and sat with us and made us feel at ease.
We only played with each other our first few times but now we love clubs and go as often as possible. |
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"Is Shhh any good? Chester Le Street is a bit out the way for me x"
We attended Shhh as our first (and so far only) club and we love it. A decent mix of people, nearly all the rooms have lockable doors so you can play in private, clean and tidy, good range of facilities. Definitely recommend.
Happy to answer questions if you have any. |
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"This is all great advice! Thanks everyone! Think I’m going to speak to one of my girl friends and try and get something arranged. I’m confident enough to know my limits and would be ok to tell someone a polite but firm ‘no’. From what you’ve all said, the staff all sound great at the venues and that makes me feel reassured.
I do think I’d find myself getting hooked, as most of you have suggested. It must be a great experience the majority of the time or their wouldn’t be thousands of us here would there "
Single females are definitely in the minority in the clubs, so the staff really do look after you. You’re also particularly hot, so will never be short of attention. The hardest part for you, will be going through the front door for the first time, you’ll do very well once inside |
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First club at the age of 21 now been to many all over the EU but always find the UK the best. Can be clicky at some but like most in society you will always find friends to make. Just relax go with an open mind and see what suits you |
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"We attended Shhh as our first (and so far only) club and we love it. A decent mix of people, nearly all the rooms have lockable doors so you can play in private, clean and tidy, good range of facilities. Definitely recommend.
Happy to answer questions if you have any."
Thank you so much! Shhh would definitely be easier in terms of location so that may be my first port of call. Might do some research for the different nights to decide when may be best to go x |
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"Single females are definitely in the minority in the clubs, so the staff really do look after you. You’re also particularly hot, so will never be short of attention. The hardest part for you, will be going through the front door for the first time, you’ll do very well once inside
That’s good to know! Ah thank you! That’s very nice of you to say I do think I would enjoy it, and there would probably be no looking back after that, just taking that first step! X "
Club F also have on site accommodation if you get into the party spirit x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First club I went to was La Chambre (closed now) was a brilliant night - Introduced to loads of friendly people and told about Fab there … how it all started 5 years ago for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First club I went to was La Chambre (closed now) was a brilliant night - Introduced to loads of friendly people and told about Fab there … how it all started 5 years ago for me "
And on that just treat it like going on a night out if anything happens great it’s a bonus, if not nothing lost I found it a good place to make friends and then from that they introduce you to their friends in the scene, it was almost like networking. |
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By *jk1978Couple
over a year ago
Cheshire |
We had our first club night in may we had talked about it for 6 months, went out in Manchester and decided to go to cupids to see what it was all about, nervous as it was dress down but would have kept talking ourselves out of it if we didn’t do it in the moment, had tour loads of people good mix couples singles male female loads of action in every area and we had first experience with female and her male friend both played with female, guy asked to join in and take my partner while she was playing with female I watched him take her and it was huge turn on for me, couldn’t have asked for better first time and looking forward to more nights like it |
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..as for expectations..just walk in,have no expectations and you might get more then you expect,relax(few shots of tequila might help)... 
