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By *habs OP Man
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
So, a few things that had been niggling on my mind for some time - the long and short or the matter is rather than the accusation of being a time-waster or pushy (that most guys that start off on here are called, although the "pushy" one is still doing the rounds for some reason) I've been considered arrogant by quite a few people.
The scenarios:
1) So a lady wants me to travel some 100+ miles, only to then tell me she can't accomodate so I'd have to pay for the hotel. To this I decline - the result is am deemed arrogant.
2) A couple invite me to a private do (as these things go), being honest with myself as far as attraction goes and (shock horror) declining the offer, I get "We're doing you a favour" and other words including "pompous" thrown my way.
3) A lady that turned me down some years back now contacts wondering what am up to (as you do) to which I recall her reason(s) for turning me down (something about being short, yes I have no control over that so take it a tad personally) and lo-behold, I remind her what she said to me, words including "giving me a second chance" (4 years later??) - alas that's me being arrogant.
In my defence: do I not have a prerogative, or am I supposed to accept every offer thrown my way without choice or consideration? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always been unsure of the term 'pushy'. When I first joined, I messaged people I felt compatible with, & if no reply, left it for 6 months minimum, before a possible 2nd message. Now, apart from the odd idiot who keeps messaging , after you have said no, I still don't comprehend it. We are looking to meet for casual sex, this year, rather than next! What , exactly is pushy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, a few things that had been niggling on my mind for some time - the long and short or the matter is rather than the accusation of being a time-waster or pushy (that most guys that start off on here are called, although the "pushy" one is still doing the rounds for some reason) I've been considered arrogant by quite a few people.
The scenarios:
1) So a lady wants me to travel some 100+ miles, only to then tell me she can't accomodate so I'd have to pay for the hotel. To this I decline - the result is am deemed arrogant.
2) A couple invite me to a private do (as these things go), being honest with myself as far as attraction goes and (shock horror) declining the offer, I get "We're doing you a favour" and other words including "pompous" thrown my way.
3) A lady that turned me down some years back now contacts wondering what am up to (as you do) to which I recall her reason(s) for turning me down (something about being short, yes I have no control over that so take it a tad personally) and lo-behold, I remind her what she said to me, words including "giving me a second chance" (4 years later??) - alas that's me being arrogant.
In my defence: do I not have a prerogative, or am I supposed to accept every offer thrown my way without choice or consideration?"
Well all 3 look pretty reasonable to me. I think some people genuinely think all single males are desperate and will jump through hoops for a meet and that's not the case as many are selective. We all have the right to decline a meet for what ever reason without being slagged off. After all no means no not tie waster, ignorant and pushy and no definitely doesn't mean yes as we all know.
I think some are in swinging for an ego trip rather than the fun and being declined pops the bubble for them.
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Don't you know your place man?
Be grateful.
For any response whatsoever (even this one).
Fotget any dignity you may have had before joining this site.
Remember that all self respect is handed in at the gate - to any passing couple or female who chooses to wipe their boots on you on the way through. |
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By *habs OP Man
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Of you don't like them, I wouldn't let it bother you?
Why are you getting het up over people you don't want to meet in the first place?  "
You'll be surprised the number of people I bump into at a Social and I hear "So you're Ahabs? from what I heard you're some arrogant prat who thinks he's too good for a meet!". Some people somewhere are doing a good job running an anti-campaign on my behalf. |
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By *habs OP Man
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Don't you know your place man?
Be grateful.
For any response whatsoever (even this one).
Fotget any dignity you may have had before joining this site.
Remember that all self respect is handed in at the gate - to any passing couple or female who chooses to wipe their boots on you on the way through."
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Of you don't like them, I wouldn't let it bother you?
Why are you getting het up over people you don't want to meet in the first place?
You'll be surprised the number of people I bump into at a Social and I hear "So you're Ahabs? from what I heard you're some arrogant prat who thinks he's too good for a meet!". Some people somewhere are doing a good job running an anti-campaign on my behalf."
Been there, got the t-shirt. I am afraid that this sort of thing happens and the only thing to do is to smile gracefully and make sure when you part they are thinking 'that _habs is a great guy'. There are mean and gossipy people out there and if you try to fight them on their level they will beat you with experience.
Always be polite, considerate, nice and kind, but only as long as YOU are happy. You should never meet someone because you feel you HAVE to, or you feel your reputation might suffer if you don't. We here to enjoy ourselves. |
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"Of you don't like them, I wouldn't let it bother you?
Why are you getting het up over people you don't want to meet in the first place?
You'll be surprised the number of people I bump into at a Social and I hear "So you're Ahabs? from what I heard you're some arrogant prat who thinks he's too good for a meet!". Some people somewhere are doing a good job running an anti-campaign on my behalf."
but we know different |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Of you don't like them, I wouldn't let it bother you?
Why are you getting het up over people you don't want to meet in the first place?
You'll be surprised the number of people I bump into at a Social and I hear "So you're Ahabs? from what I heard you're some arrogant prat who thinks he's too good for a meet!". Some people somewhere are doing a good job running an anti-campaign on my behalf."
I have never heard anything but good things about you at socials....xx |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Of you don't like them, I wouldn't let it bother you?
Why are you getting het up over people you don't want to meet in the first place?
You'll be surprised the number of people I bump into at a Social and I hear "So you're Ahabs? from what I heard you're some arrogant prat who thinks he's too good for a meet!". Some people somewhere are doing a good job running an anti-campaign on my behalf."
all the same, its easy enough to explain away your side of things. If people are talking to you before they know your fab name then they have probably already made their mind up about you
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By *habs OP Man
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Of you don't like them, I wouldn't let it bother you?
Why are you getting het up over people you don't want to meet in the first place?
You'll be surprised the number of people I bump into at a Social and I hear "So you're Ahabs? from what I heard you're some arrogant prat who thinks he's too good for a meet!". Some people somewhere are doing a good job running an anti-campaign on my behalf.
all the same, its easy enough to explain away your side of things. If people are talking to you before they know your fab name then they have probably already made their mind up about you
"
It it one of those things in this very small community called swinging: as a friend told me when I just got started "Remember: people talk, the problem is differentiation those that tell the truth from those who are not". |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
" .........
It it one of those things in this very small community called swinging: as a friend told me when I just got started "Remember: people talk, the problem is differentiation those that tell the truth from those who are not"."
Kinda like real life. |
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