 |
By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago
cognito |
…after a trashy evening watching “He’s Just Not That Into You” it got me thinking about the whole dating world.
Are there rules you are supposed to follow? Do you follow them?
Men/Masc peeps, if you like a woman do you just tell them straight away? If you aren’t interested in taking it to a second date do you tell her or use those lines in the film “I’ll call you” but never do?
Women/Femme folks, do you wait for guys to approach you? Or do you take control and go ask them out?
Non identity folk, what do you do when it comes to dating and your rules?
I don’t date so I can’t answer these questions myself so I’m asking you guys…plus I’m nosey! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I haven't really dated properly for a while so I'm a bit rusty and also a bit lazy. I quite like to meet people where we just click and it makes things a lot easier. I'm not great at keeping conversations going even if I really like someone but especially if it feels a bit one sided. Ultimately though, if I like someone, I tell them. We're adults, it's easier to say it and then talk about that and if it'll go anywhere.
Pxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago
cognito |
"I usually just tell them.
Then we chat a bit more and they tell me that they watch "He's Just Not That Into You" and I don't know what to think  "
Hey are you judging me *eyes you suspiciously*  I only watched it because…well because Scarlett Johansson…so there  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago
cognito |
"I haven't really dated properly for a while so I'm a bit rusty and also a bit lazy. I quite like to meet people where we just click and it makes things a lot easier. I'm not great at keeping conversations going even if I really like someone but especially if it feels a bit one sided. Ultimately though, if I like someone, I tell them. We're adults, it's easier to say it and then talk about that and if it'll go anywhere.
Pxx"
Oh yeah sometimes I have doubts about conversations, am I talking too much, not enough…arrrggh! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I usually just tell them.
Then we chat a bit more and they tell me that they watch "He's Just Not That Into You" and I don't know what to think
Hey are you judging me *eyes you suspiciously* I only watched it because…well because Scarlett Johansson…so there "
No judgement here. Unless you've seen "He's Just Not That Into You 2: He Is Actually Into You" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
In the past, when a woman has interested me, I've always made the first move and have not been shy in manifesting my interest. Call it being masculine if you will, but it's how I prefer to engage. Better to have the initiative  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m too old for this modern dating malarkey where someone who isn’t into you doesn’t tell you, or ‘ghosts’. I gave so much effort to find out something I already felt for years in a relationship, I’m not doing that again.
So here’s me. If I ask for a date, I fancy the pants off you to call it a date. If I want a second date, it means I like you a lot. and I’ll tell you.
I’m pretty direct if I didn’t want anything more, because I would want the same, been there with all the maybe’s and it’s wasted time and energy. We all won’t ever get that back.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago
cognito |
"In the past, when a woman has interested me, I've always made the first move and have not been shy in manifesting my interest. Call it being masculine if you will, but it's how I prefer to engage. Better to have the initiative "
I like this. Straight to the point, no guessing games  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't think I am the dating type anymore, as everyone whom I have had a date with of late has ghosted. I am happy to tell men I like them and I'd like to go on a date with them. Not shy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago
cognito |
"I’m too old for this modern dating malarkey where someone who isn’t into you doesn’t tell you, or ‘ghosts’. I gave so much effort to find out something I already felt for years in a relationship, I’m not doing that again.
So here’s me. If I ask for a date, I fancy the pants off you to call it a date. If I want a second date, it means I like you a lot. and I’ll tell you.
I’m pretty direct if I didn’t want anything more, because I would want the same, been there with all the maybe’s and it’s wasted time and energy. We all won’t ever get that back.
"
This! All this. It’s those reasons I stopped dating, can’t be doing with that nonsense. I like your direct and respectful approach. We need more of this in the dating pool |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago
cognito |
"I don't think I am the dating type anymore, as everyone whom I have had a date with of late has ghosted. I am happy to tell men I like them and I'd like to go on a date with them. Not shy."
Ahh I’m sorry they ghost you. That’s shitty behaviour and you deserve way more!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
Haven't dated in a while, but I would give it a few dates before declaring whether I like them or not, as I think anything is possible in those early stages. For example, you could get on well enough to be just platonic friends even if you aren't romantically into each other after those few dates |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have always found it hard to tell women to their face when I don't feel it during the first date. At the same time I don't ghost them. I usually take a day to think it out, make sure that I am doing the right thing and then send a polite message saying that we don't have much chemistry.
To be fair, the reverse has happened more often with the women messaging me that there isn't much chemistry |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Life is easy for me - not looking for another partner so don’t have to worry about all these “dating” rules.
If it is a fab meet/social then just have a drink and some fun. If they are not for you then just have a drink. Easy  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't think I am the dating type anymore, as everyone whom I have had a date with of late has ghosted. I am happy to tell men I like them and I'd like to go on a date with them. Not shy.
Ahh I’m sorry they ghost you. That’s shitty behaviour and you deserve way more! "
Thank you. Seems to happen to a lot of people sadly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Might be a bit of an odd rule, but I always let the female ask me out. As I tend to make it clear I like them but I leave it to them to ask me out once they feel comfortable. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m too old for this modern dating malarkey where someone who isn’t into you doesn’t tell you, or ‘ghosts’. I gave so much effort to find out something I already felt for years in a relationship, I’m not doing that again.
So here’s me. If I ask for a date, I fancy the pants off you to call it a date. If I want a second date, it means I like you a lot. and I’ll tell you.
I’m pretty direct if I didn’t want anything more, because I would want the same, been there with all the maybe’s and it’s wasted time and energy. We all won’t ever get that back.
"
This
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"…after a trashy evening watching “He’s Just Not That Into You” it got me thinking about the whole dating world.
Are there rules you are supposed to follow? Do you follow them?
Men/Masc peeps, if you like a woman do you just tell them straight away? If you aren’t interested in taking it to a second date do you tell her or use those lines in the film “I’ll call you” but never do?
Women/Femme folks, do you wait for guys to approach you? Or do you take control and go ask them out?
Non identity folk, what do you do when it comes to dating and your rules?
I don’t date so I can’t answer these questions myself so I’m asking you guys…plus I’m nosey! "
Pfft, what riddiculousness. If I like someone, I go ask them out. Dont care what gender they are.
I actually find it very weird dating heteronormative men. They follow these weird unspoken rules and act very strangely... like, rather than communicating and saying "Hey, Id really like to kiss you right now", they just try to "sense" when the right moment is. And you can tell when they are trying to do "the right moment" because they go all quiet and serious and look slightly anxious. There is a moment when everyone feels awkward, and then you kiss (or I say "err...I feel like you want to kiss me right now, is that whats going on for you?")
What a weird, crazy, stupid thing to do. Nah, I just ask, and I communicate all the time. I also establish very early on with heteronormative guys that they are not responsible for the relationship progression or the way sex happens. Then they can chill the heck out. Dating other girls or queer folk is much less weird.
I am not an enby but I know a fair few! Im gonna say that one of the main reasons people identify as non-binary is because of these stupid rules and their desire to not play by them.
Love and good communication!
Fay  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
