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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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People of Fab,
We are gathered here on the holiest of days to absolve our sins and ask for forgiveness.
I shall be your Pastor today and I'm in the confessional, ready to hear tales of debauchery and putting the milk in first when you make a cup of tea.
Message in your sins and I'll post them anonymously on the thread where everyone can decide how best you shall be dealt with. Whether it be a number of Hail Marys or a good ol' flogging to help you achieve redemption.
If anyone else wishes to be a member of the clergy then just step forward.
Amen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Iv been having very impure thoughts of late about ya know rumpy pumpy what do i do about it  "
That's an easy one. You want to joim a site called Fab...something, I forget the name. Everyone on there is absolutely gagging for it 24/7. If you find a person you like make sure to send them a graphic message of what you would do to them alongside a picture of your flacid penis hovering above a piss full toilet in a dirty bathroom. Needless to say your thoughts will turn to action very quickly and when you have committed such hedonism you can return next Sunday for a full absolution.
Until then, 3 hail mary's and a cold shower for you my son |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Forgive me father for i have sinned ...i am constantly coveting other people wives and girlfriends and single ladies ..am i going to hell  "
No, no, no. You're not going to hell, you're going to be frustrated. It's a monks life for you my boy. Off to a monastery for 40 days and 40 nights of rehabilitation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv been having very impure thoughts of late about ya know rumpy pumpy what do i do about it
That's an easy one. You want to joim a site called Fab...something, I forget the name. Everyone on there is absolutely gagging for it 24/7. If you find a person you like make sure to send them a graphic message of what you would do to them alongside a picture of your flacid penis hovering above a piss full toilet in a dirty bathroom. Needless to say your thoughts will turn to action very quickly and when you have committed such hedonism you can return next Sunday for a full absolution.
Until then, 3 hail mary's and a cold shower for you my son "
good thinking iv just the toilet too |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"Forgive me father for i have sinned ...i am constantly coveting other people wives and girlfriends and single ladies ..am i going to hell "
Ohh i cannot go there please .... all they mad monks ...im real straight not "fab straight"  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Iv been having very impure thoughts of late about ya know rumpy pumpy what do i do about it
That's an easy one. You want to joim a site called Fab...something, I forget the name. Everyone on there is absolutely gagging for it 24/7. If you find a person you like make sure to send them a graphic message of what you would do to them alongside a picture of your flacid penis hovering above a piss full toilet in a dirty bathroom. Needless to say your thoughts will turn to action very quickly and when you have committed such hedonism you can return next Sunday for a full absolution.
Until then, 3 hail mary's and a cold shower for you my son
good thinking iv just the toilet too"
Fantastic, something tells me you're going to be very popular... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Forgive me father for i have sinned ...i am constantly coveting other people wives and girlfriends and single ladies ..am i going to hell
Ohh i cannot go there please .... all they mad monks ...im real straight not "fab straight" "
Ah my mistake squire. I've been on here so long the word straight has lost all meaning. The holy book has told me what your fate is so unfortunately I can't change that but I can try get you in a rave monastery where they make their own wine and stuff? |
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