FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men are all about the effort.
Men are all about the effort.
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" There are a number of upcoming socials claiming that all couples and single women places are gone but virtually no ticket requests from single men. "  really?…. Which ones.
*asking for all my single male friends.  | |||
"I think they need to if truth be told. In my experience on here and from what I've seen, a lot of women get entitled by the attention and have the pick of the bunch. When you have that kind of free rein, it's standard that they expect the man to do the chasing. Most of the time they probably act differently on here than they would do in the real world. And anyone offended by this post, the shoe probably fits." The only issues I've had in 5 years here have been when I've said no to a woman. I've refused to meet and been named and shamed in their chatgroups. I've refused to follow their instructions and post on their behalf in the forums and I've refused to stand up and protect them when they are attacked in the forums because I know they are permanent victims and are actually the aggressor in private and they deserve everything they get. I disagree that women don't have to make an effort. Of course they will get lots of attention but if they don't make any effort themselves they don't really have a leg to stand on if that attention isn't the sort they are looking. | |||
" There are a number of upcoming socials claiming that all couples and single women places are gone but virtually no ticket requests from single men. really?…. Which ones.
*asking for all my single male friends. "Different country  | |||
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"It's difficult... I first message because I'm looking for someone specifically for me. If I were just looking for a fuck and go then sure I probably wouldn't bother messaging first, as there are so many invites to a cock dipping. " Cock Dipping  | |||
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"I think they need to if truth be told. In my experience on here and from what I've seen, a lot of women get entitled by the attention and have the pick of the bunch. When you have that kind of free rein, it's standard that they expect the man to do the chasing. Most of the time they probably act differently on here than they would do in the real world. And anyone offended by this post, the shoe probably fits. The only issues I've had in 5 years here have been when I've said no to a woman. I've refused to meet and been named and shamed in their chatgroups. I've refused to follow their instructions and post on their behalf in the forums and I've refused to stand up and protect them when they are attacked in the forums because I know they are permanent victims and are actually the aggressor in private and they deserve everything they get. I disagree that women don't have to make an effort. Of course they will get lots of attention but if they don't make any effort themselves they don't really have a leg to stand on if that attention isn't the sort they are looking." This! The sense of entitlement here can be sickening at times, you only have to look at the aggressive profile write-ups from women and couples (and yes, some men too), to see that. The most grief I ever had here was from an entitled couple who gave me a shed load of abuse when I politely explained that they werent for me. Men are allowed to have standards/preferences too! | |||
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"I think they need to if truth be told. In my experience on here and from what I've seen, a lot of women get entitled by the attention and have the pick of the bunch. When you have that kind of free rein, it's standard that they expect the man to do the chasing. Most of the time they probably act differently on here than they would do in the real world. And anyone offended by this post, the shoe probably fits."
I've missed you! | |||
"I think they need to if truth be told. In my experience on here and from what I've seen, a lot of women get entitled by the attention and have the pick of the bunch. When you have that kind of free rein, it's standard that they expect the man to do the chasing. Most of the time they probably act differently on here than they would do in the real world. And anyone offended by this post, the shoe probably fits." Bravo indeed! I can understand why some get entitled as the mount of messages and the somewhat false admiration projected towards some women must be a mind scramble but it’s the willingness to be rude and attack from the safety of behind a screen along with the security of a block button that I just can’t fathom. I know there will be many answers and opinions on why it’s acceptable to be rude and nasty but is there really a need for ir.....really? | |||
"I've always hated the "chase". I find it demeaning and life is too short for that kind of shit" | |||
"… So no, it's not lacking modernity, or backwards, it's a reflection of the nature of the beast and distorted landscape caused by el goblino de cockina. " It was worth reading all of that just for this last paragraph | |||
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"… So no, it's not lacking modernity, or backwards, it's a reflection of the nature of the beast and distorted landscape caused by el goblino de cockina. It was worth reading all of that just for this last paragraph "I won't lie, I enjoyed that flourish. My auto correct, did not. Fuck you phone lol. | |||
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"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. " Couldn’t agree more | |||
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"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. " 100% this. | |||
"Out of curiosity OP, if you think women don't make the first move, how do you think we end up meeting each other? " Haha, ok I love that. That, that was good. | |||
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"I wouldn't say so. I think some men are too obsessed with fab but that's a different thing. Out of curiosity OP, if you think women don't make the first move, how do you think we end up meeting each other? " To entertain your question….Because a man sent the 1st message
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" Some of us have switched it around... and I think it's getting more so?? But like any type of change it doesn't work for all "Doesn't mean you should stop trying..
Some of us have no problem with the woman making the first move.... | |||
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"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. " Is it entitlement or people being transparent about what they want and don't want? | |||
"I think they need to if truth be told. In my experience on here and from what I've seen, a lot of women get entitled by the attention and have the pick of the bunch. When you have that kind of free rein, it's standard that they expect the man to do the chasing. Most of the time they probably act differently on here than they would do in the real world. And anyone offended by this post, the shoe probably fits." This . | |||
"99% of profiles have no face photo. I full on iniate messaging if there's is and I'm attracted to that person. " I messaged someone a couple of days ago. The ball was rolling about meeting now he's vanished from the site. | |||
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"I think they need to if truth be told. In my experience on here and from what I've seen, a lot of women get entitled by the attention and have the pick of the bunch. When you have that kind of free rein, it's standard that they expect the man to do the chasing. Most of the time they probably act differently on here than they would do in the real world. And anyone offended by this post, the shoe probably fits.This ."I think most people act differently on here than in the real world. The amount of mingers I've had message me, I'd say everyone chances their arm, in the hope to get their dick wet. If any feels offended by that, c'est la vie | |||
"On the whole I think men need sex more than women. It's a primal need, and they wake up in the morning with a boner that has to be dealt with. I'd probably get sick of dealing with it myself and look for someone to do it for me, if I were a man. Thankfully, I'm not, and can go months without anything touching my vagina. " the boner goes away if you ignore it have a piss and a bru 9 times out of 10 | |||
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"Surely it's just because women don't need to do the chasing. They are often bombarded with messages from every guy within an hours drive?" Not really it’s just as hard for most women to get quality conversations and meets as men, it’s just a different kind of hard. My personal view in on the whole men & women think about sex and want sex about the same amount , but generally women have higher standards and more self control so only interact with the ones they really like; whereas as a lot of men will interact with anyone in the hope of some sex, even if they don’t fancy them - or in some cases even if they are the wrong gender , pure desperation !!! | |||
"Are men into fab more than women? And into the ‘chase’ a lot more. We out number them, we send 1st messages, we fab pictures, we reply to the ‘majority’ of ones we get. Considering swinging and open relationships sound very modern, it does seem to still be very old fashioned by having the men make the first move … "I had never thought of it that way but hae had others make the first move on occasion... | |||
"Sure "we" the "brotherhood" out number women quite aggressively, but I'm pretty sure that isn't a group I want to be associated with. Strip away the dreamers, pic collectors, weirdos and general cock goblins, I think the numbers swing back far more favourably. The "gentlemen" of this site, far far lower numbers. Stand out, be authentic, present the best version of yourself and it'll be fine. If you have no luck, that's on you, reflect, adapt and improve. I think some guys find this is hard because it's about convincing women to sleep with them. Wrong approach. It takes time, isn't hard, to find someone you want to want to connect with that also wants to connect with you. If the vibe you give off is desperately throwing mud at the wall and seeing what sticks, don't be surprised at the short shrift. So no, it's not lacking modernity, or backwards, it's a reflection of the nature of the beast and distorted landscape caused by el goblino de cockina. " Good post!
Having been a single and a couple on here I've seen it from two sides.
Do men like the chase? Some do. Other just think that as people are on a sex/swingers/hook up (whatever you feel the need to call it) site that it'll be easier to find sex on here than in the outside world. There also seems to be a greater sense of urgency and a lack of patience in some sections of the fab male population and when reality kicks in the first response is to blame the ratio of men to women, the 'arrogance' of single women and couples who don't reply and every other factor except the ones that really matter - their messaging behaviour, the time spent creating their profiles and photos and the unwillingness to adjust jow they interact, look at other options bar just a meet arranged on here (socials, clubs, private parties).
Many come to the forums when things aren't working out and either batch and moan and blame everyone and everyone bar themselves or seek advice and then take none of it on board.
For any single male in the real world that struggles to find sex through normal channels, fab will prove harder - not easier, than going down the pub or meeting elsewhere offline. Sure, for single women it's probably much easier in a way due to the numbers to get interest but those numbers can make it just as hard to find suitable company.
For some men there seems to be a cycle. Join fab thinking it's guaranteed sex. Create bland profile and send messages to everyone. Get no replies. Get frustrated. Blame everyone else. Send more messages to the same people. Get no replies. Give up, blame the numbers and try again in the real world. Come back a few months later, try again, and find nothings changed. Repeat ad infinitum and keep blaming the numbers.
So yes. I do think some men get addicted to fab and the chase but not for the right reasons.
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"It's difficult... I first message because I'm looking for someone specifically for me. If I were just looking for a fuck and go then sure I probably wouldn't bother messaging first, as there are so many invites to a cock dipping. " I love this "cock dipping" ha ha | |||
" Good post!
For some men there seems to be a cycle. Join fab thinking it's guaranteed sex. Create bland profile and send messages to everyone. Get no replies. Get frustrated. Blame everyone else. Send more messages to the same people. Get no replies. Give up, blame the numbers and try again in the real world. Come back a few months later, try again, and find nothings changed. Repeat ad infinitum and keep blaming the numbers.
A"That, basically, all day every day. It's the presumption of the place and then other people. Circling the vortex of doom from the start. But yes, I've seen your posts, I know your club. Bricks of Subtlety right? South West chapter here | |||
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"Sure "we" the "brotherhood" out number women quite aggressively, but I'm pretty sure that isn't a group I want to be associated with. Strip away the dreamers, pic collectors, weirdos and general cock goblins, I think the numbers swing back far more favourably. The "gentlemen" of this site, far far lower numbers. Stand out, be authentic, present the best version of yourself and it'll be fine. If you have no luck, that's on you, reflect, adapt and improve. I think some guys find this is hard because it's about convincing women to sleep with them. Wrong approach. It takes time, isn't hard, to find someone you want to want to connect with that also wants to connect with you. If the vibe you give off is desperately throwing mud at the wall and seeing what sticks, don't be surprised at the short shrift. So no, it's not lacking modernity, or backwards, it's a reflection of the nature of the beast and distorted landscape caused by el goblino de cockina. Good post!
Having been a single and a couple on here I've seen it from two sides.
Do men like the chase? Some do. Other just think that as people are on a sex/swingers/hook up (whatever you feel the need to call it) site that it'll be easier to find sex on here than in the outside world. There also seems to be a greater sense of urgency and a lack of patience in some sections of the fab male population and when reality kicks in the first response is to blame the ratio of men to women, the 'arrogance' of single women and couples who don't reply and every other factor except the ones that really matter - their messaging behaviour, the time spent creating their profiles and photos and the unwillingness to adjust jow they interact, look at other options bar just a meet arranged on here (socials, clubs, private parties).
Many come to the forums when things aren't working out and either batch and moan and blame everyone and everyone bar themselves or seek advice and then take none of it on board.
For any single male in the real world that struggles to find sex through normal channels, fab will prove harder - not easier, than going down the pub or meeting elsewhere offline. Sure, for single women it's probably much easier in a way due to the numbers to get interest but those numbers can make it just as hard to find suitable company.
For some men there seems to be a cycle. Join fab thinking it's guaranteed sex. Create bland profile and send messages to everyone. Get no replies. Get frustrated. Blame everyone else. Send more messages to the same people. Get no replies. Give up, blame the numbers and try again in the real world. Come back a few months later, try again, and find nothings changed. Repeat ad infinitum and keep blaming the numbers.
So yes. I do think some men get addicted to fab and the chase but not for the right reasons.
A"Most of that applies across the board. There are many single women and couples profiles that constantly complain in updates that they are just here for sex and others don't seem to understand that. There are 2 in my local updates right now. The biggest difference is that a lot of women have a support network of chatgroups so when things don't go the way they intended they have the means of punishing the offenders. I've seen many women here on the forums admit that the only issues they've ever had on the site or in site related groups have been from other women. The whole numbers thing didn't really apply because proportionally there are equally as many lazy, whiny vindictive women and couples but anyone pointing that out is dismissed as someone with an axe to grind or is saying it from a position of rejection. Sometimes it's just a fact that many choose to ignore. | |||
"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. " I get all kinds of offers and I look like shit. Does it make you sad that these men contact you too?  | |||
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"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. Is it entitlement or people being transparent about what they want and don't want? " It depends on how it's wrapped. People are entitled to put whatever they want in their profile and others are entitled to ignore those profiles. If however those "preferences" are expressed in an introductory message and become instructions or demands then yes they are classed as entitled. If someone I've never spoken to before sends me a message telling me to shave off my beard because Mrs doesn't like it or that I'm too straight for them and will have to play bi or that I must send a facepic and phone number or I won't be meeting them I'm fully entitled to tell them to shove their preferences up their arse. If they feel a man is going to jump or feel grateful then yes they are indeed entitled. All of the above has actually happened btw and is only a tiny example of the attitudes of some experienced fabbers who have forgotten how to speak to people and aim their messages at the cock. | |||
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It makes me wanna delete all my messages. | |||
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" Rather than so many one night stands." If you keep doing one night stands, you’ll soon run out won’t you? | |||
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"When I was meeting, I very rarely responded to messages, I used to search and contact people that I liked the look of. In fact, I've only ever met one person who I didn't initiate contact with. But, I've been told by quite a few men in the past that they don't like that and prefer to do the chasing...perhaps that was just their way of rejecting me *shrug* So, in answer to your actual question, I think *some* men get a tad overexcited by the abundance of fleshy bits on display and dick brain takes over. Whereas women, on the whole, seem to be better at keeping vagina brain in check and thinking with their big brain. " I do like this take. My vagina brain is rarely in charge. | |||
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"Are men into fab more than women? And into the ‘chase’ a lot more. We out number them, we send 1st messages, we fab pictures, we reply to the ‘majority’ of ones we get. Considering swinging and open relationships sound very modern, it does seem to still be very old fashioned by having the men make the first move … "All the time men continue to make the first move it will continue to appear that they are more in to fab than women. The reality is (imo) that all genders are equally in to it, just in different ways. I've seen a number of posts from men almost boasting that they are 'gentlemen' who know how to treat a 'lady' and getting really offended if the lady doesn't appreciate their efforts. If you want a stereotype to stop prevailing, first stop being stereotypical. Ps yes I know #notallmen | |||
"Call me old fashioned... I like to be persued. It's flattering and makes me feel feminine. I like someone with masculine energy." I hear you! | |||
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"It's always when you are not expecting to find or meet someone that the meeting happens " 100% this | |||
"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. Is it entitlement or people being transparent about what they want and don't want? It depends on how it's wrapped. People are entitled to put whatever they want in their profile and others are entitled to ignore those profiles. If however those "preferences" are expressed in an introductory message and become instructions or demands then yes they are classed as entitled. If someone I've never spoken to before sends me a message telling me to shave off my beard because Mrs doesn't like it or that I'm too straight for them and will have to play bi or that I must send a facepic and phone number or I won't be meeting them I'm fully entitled to tell them to shove their preferences up their arse. If they feel a man is going to jump or feel grateful then yes they are indeed entitled. All of the above has actually happened btw and is only a tiny example of the attitudes of some experienced fabbers who have forgotten how to speak to people and aim their messages at the cock. " So when you get a message like that hit delete. It doesn't represent the majority of the site one bit. Men are just as guilty of sending presumptuous messages, trust me. Being a twat isn't gender specific. They come in all shapes and sizes and you just ignore those who you find 'demanding' and whose profiles you think unsuitable because they're blunt about their preferences. It's not hard. Nobody has to bow down to another's demands and those that do only have themselves to blame. If you're willing to do anything to get a meet more fool you (generic 'you' obviously). You create your own reality a lot of the time, via your profile, your messages and your forum interactions. Be demanding and abrupt and you'll be seen by some as being stuck up and elitist. Appear to not have any preferences at all and you'll be seen by many as willing to fuck anything with a pulse. Complain frequently about the same issues in the forums and you'll be seen by some as a whinger who creates their own drama. It's easy to be seen online in a two dimensional manner. Words don't always translate how you want them to and are often recieved in a different manner than that intended. Jokes and humour goes over the heads of some. Images that turn some on can put off others. Women and couples can be just as guilty of the same 'crimes' that single men are often accused of. But due to the inbalance in the ratios, and the tendency for men to be more vocal in their complaints about online fab life, it will generally appear that men are more guilty of adverse behaviour. Want to stand out and be seen in a more positive light? Then often it's just a few small changes that can make all the difference. But many seem too stubborn and unwilling to make the tiniest change to behaviour and attitude and are content to carry on, blaming others and the site for their failings. There are literally hundreds of awesome single male profiles and members on fab. Some you'll never know about because they don't use the forums - probably because they're too busy meeting to join in. Be the best you that you can be and that's 99% of the challenge mastered. The other 1% is just how you choose to interact. A | |||
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"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. Is it entitlement or people being transparent about what they want and don't want? It depends on how it's wrapped. People are entitled to put whatever they want in their profile and others are entitled to ignore those profiles. If however those "preferences" are expressed in an introductory message and become instructions or demands then yes they are classed as entitled. If someone I've never spoken to before sends me a message telling me to shave off my beard because Mrs doesn't like it or that I'm too straight for them and will have to play bi or that I must send a facepic and phone number or I won't be meeting them I'm fully entitled to tell them to shove their preferences up their arse. If they feel a man is going to jump or feel grateful then yes they are indeed entitled. All of the above has actually happened btw and is only a tiny example of the attitudes of some experienced fabbers who have forgotten how to speak to people and aim their messages at the cock. So when you get a message like that hit delete. It doesn't represent the majority of the site one bit. Men are just as guilty of sending presumptuous messages, trust me. Being a twat isn't gender specific. They come in all shapes and sizes and you just ignore those who you find 'demanding' and whose profiles you think unsuitable because they're blunt about their preferences. It's not hard. Nobody has to bow down to another's demands and those that do only have themselves to blame. If you're willing to do anything to get a meet more fool you (generic 'you' obviously). You create your own reality a lot of the time, via your profile, your messages and your forum interactions. Be demanding and abrupt and you'll be seen by some as being stuck up and elitist. Appear to not have any preferences at all and you'll be seen by many as willing to fuck anything with a pulse. Complain frequently about the same issues in the forums and you'll be seen by some as a whinger who creates their own drama. It's easy to be seen online in a two dimensional manner. Words don't always translate how you want them to and are often recieved in a different manner than that intended. Jokes and humour goes over the heads of some. Images that turn some on can put off others. Women and couples can be just as guilty of the same 'crimes' that single men are often accused of. But due to the inbalance in the ratios, and the tendency for men to be more vocal in their complaints about online fab life, it will generally appear that men are more guilty of adverse behaviour. Want to stand out and be seen in a more positive light? Then often it's just a few small changes that can make all the difference. But many seem too stubborn and unwilling to make the tiniest change to behaviour and attitude and are content to carry on, blaming others and the site for their failings. There are literally hundreds of awesome single male profiles and members on fab. Some you'll never know about because they don't use the forums - probably because they're too busy meeting to join in. Be the best you that you can be and that's 99% of the challenge mastered. The other 1% is just how you choose to interact. A" I haven't said anywhere that it represents the majority of the site but it does represent a percentage of the site who like to finger point and blame everything that happens to them online on someone else's behaviour as you've rightly said. It's one of the mysteries of life. Men join a swingers site but despise women and allow that to shine through in their interaction and if done in a public forum are put in their incel box. Women join a swingers site with major issues over men and allow their anger to spill over in a public forum or play the victim card and they are celebrated for being a strong woman. There is no balance and the middle ground is much narrower than some would lead you to believe. The amount of effort put in by each demographic is often related to the reaction that effort can trigger. | |||
"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. Couldn’t agree more "Yep me too | |||
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"Call me old fashioned... I like to be persued. It's flattering and makes me feel feminine. I like someone with masculine energy." I’m not sure how pursuing translates as masculine? | |||
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"Are men into fab more than women? And into the ‘chase’ a lot more. We out number them, we send 1st messages, we fab pictures, we reply to the ‘majority’ of ones we get. Considering swinging and open relationships sound very modern, it does seem to still be very old fashioned by having the men make the first move … "I let them do the chasing Woody, we live in the modern world now | |||
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"When I was meeting, I very rarely responded to messages, I used to search and contact people that I liked the look of. In fact, I've only ever met one person who I didn't initiate contact with. But, I've been told by quite a few men in the past that they don't like that and prefer to do the chasing...perhaps that was just their way of rejecting me *shrug* So, in answer to your actual question, I think *some* men get a tad overexcited by the abundance of fleshy bits on display and dick brain takes over. Whereas women, on the whole, seem to be better at keeping vagina brain in check and thinking with their big brain. " I like the thought of "vagina brain" as a concept... Or possibly a malady. "Dr, I ve been feeling very irrational lately, I think I've got vagina brain" | |||
" Rather than so many one night stands. If you keep doing one night stands, you’ll soon run out won’t you? "I'd say that if someone keeps doing one night stands, they've obviously got a good supply! | |||
"Sure "we" the "brotherhood" out number women quite aggressively, but I'm pretty sure that isn't a group I want to be associated with. Strip away the dreamers, pic collectors, weirdos and general cock goblins, I think the numbers swing back far more favourably. The "gentlemen" of this site, far far lower numbers. Stand out, be authentic, present the best version of yourself and it'll be fine. If you have no luck, that's on you, reflect, adapt and improve. I think some guys find this is hard because it's about convincing women to sleep with them. Wrong approach. It takes time, isn't hard, to find someone you want to want to connect with that also wants to connect with you. If the vibe you give off is desperately throwing mud at the wall and seeing what sticks, don't be surprised at the short shrift. So no, it's not lacking modernity, or backwards, it's a reflection of the nature of the beast and distorted landscape caused by el goblino de cockina. Good post!
Having been a single and a couple on here I've seen it from two sides.
Do men like the chase? Some do. Other just think that as people are on a sex/swingers/hook up (whatever you feel the need to call it) site that it'll be easier to find sex on here than in the outside world. There also seems to be a greater sense of urgency and a lack of patience in some sections of the fab male population and when reality kicks in the first response is to blame the ratio of men to women, the 'arrogance' of single women and couples who don't reply and every other factor except the ones that really matter - their messaging behaviour, the time spent creating their profiles and photos and the unwillingness to adjust jow they interact, look at other options bar just a meet arranged on here (socials, clubs, private parties).
Many come to the forums when things aren't working out and either batch and moan and blame everyone and everyone bar themselves or seek advice and then take none of it on board.
For any single male in the real world that struggles to find sex through normal channels, fab will prove harder - not easier, than going down the pub or meeting elsewhere offline. Sure, for single women it's probably much easier in a way due to the numbers to get interest but those numbers can make it just as hard to find suitable company.
For some men there seems to be a cycle. Join fab thinking it's guaranteed sex. Create bland profile and send messages to everyone. Get no replies. Get frustrated. Blame everyone else. Send more messages to the same people. Get no replies. Give up, blame the numbers and try again in the real world. Come back a few months later, try again, and find nothings changed. Repeat ad infinitum and keep blaming the numbers.
So yes. I do think some men get addicted to fab and the chase but not for the right reasons.
A"I think many men would be better suited just booking an escort as they just seem to want to pump and dump them bounce … leave the actual serious swingers : guys understanding it’s not instapump to enjoy the site | |||
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"I think they need to if truth be told. In my experience on here and from what I've seen, a lot of women get entitled by the attention and have the pick of the bunch. When you have that kind of free rein, it's standard that they expect the man to do the chasing. Most of the time they probably act differently on here than they would do in the real world. And anyone offended by this post, the shoe probably fits.This ."I think that this quote suits well here "what you need to know, but dont wanna hear" | |||
"Call me old fashioned... I like to be persued. It's flattering and makes me feel feminine. I like someone with masculine energy. I’m not sure how pursuing translates as masculine? " Perhaps it's because of cultural, stereotypical views that are still held. Men chase, women are chased. I guess if you like the idea of men being a particular way, then it makes sense that a man chasing you would be seen as being masculine. Like he's clubbed you round the head and is bringing you back to the cave being ravaged. I tend to be quite proactive in messaging people when I'm looking but I like people (not a gender) actively chasing me/expressing an interest because it makes me feel sexually wanted. Maybe that's the feminine energy referred to. | |||
"Call me old fashioned... I like to be persued. It's flattering and makes me feel feminine. I like someone with masculine energy. I’m not sure how pursuing translates as masculine? Perhaps it's because of cultural, stereotypical views that are still held. Men chase, women are chased. I guess if you like the idea of men being a particular way, then it makes sense that a man chasing you would be seen as being masculine. Like he's clubbed you round the head and is bringing you back to the cave being ravaged. I tend to be quite proactive in messaging people when I'm looking but I like people (not a gender) actively chasing me/expressing an interest because it makes me feel sexually wanted. Maybe that's the feminine energy referred to." I'd club you and drag you back to a cave for ravishing if you ask nicely Meli | |||
"A lot of the issue with me is confidence. I am I admit on the large side and when I have sent first messages to men the amount of insults I've received on my size and comments such 'Why would I go anywhere near someone like you?' has really put me off trying. A simple 'no thanks' or 'your not my type' would do the same job but the insults hurt. I'd rather just wait for guys that are actually interested in me to get in touch with me. Yes to some that might be seen as lazy but it saves my mental health. " I totally agree with you on this | |||
"Are men into fab more than women? And into the ‘chase’ a lot more. We out number them, we send 1st messages, we fab pictures, we reply to the ‘majority’ of ones we get. Considering swinging and open relationships sound very modern, it does seem to still be very old fashioned by having the men make the first move … "By sending a message saying 'nice tits'? I would much rather make the first move myself tbh | |||
"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. " Why are you horrified by people being clear about what they want. Think that's the problem that people see people having a very clear definition of what they are looking for as somewho entitled. If this thread was aimed at men there would be people on here claiming this was man bashing. | |||
"Call me old fashioned... I like to be persued. It's flattering and makes me feel feminine. I like someone with masculine energy. I’m not sure how pursuing translates as masculine? Perhaps it's because of cultural, stereotypical views that are still held. Men chase, women are chased. I guess if you like the idea of men being a particular way, then it makes sense that a man chasing you would be seen as being masculine. Like he's clubbed you round the head and is bringing you back to the cave being ravaged. I tend to be quite proactive in messaging people when I'm looking but I like people (not a gender) actively chasing me/expressing an interest because it makes me feel sexually wanted. Maybe that's the feminine energy referred to. I'd club you and drag you back to a cave for ravishing if you ask nicely Meli "Pretty please? | |||
"Are men into fab more than women? And into the ‘chase’ a lot more. We out number them, we send 1st messages, we fab pictures, we reply to the ‘majority’ of ones we get. " I havent sent first message as I always presume I wont be their type but I have fabbed pics, winked or commented in posts through the forums. I also reply to the majority of messages unless they send messages which are one worded with no effort on the profile either. | |||
"A lot of the issue with me is confidence. I am I admit on the large side and when I have sent first messages to men the amount of insults I've received on my size and comments such 'Why would I go anywhere near someone like you?' has really put me off trying. A simple 'no thanks' or 'your not my type' would do the same job but the insults hurt. I'd rather just wait for guys that are actually interested in me to get in touch with me. Yes to some that might be seen as lazy but it saves my mental health. " absolutely agree with this | |||
"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. " This is the kind of attitude I really struggle with on fab. Because it doesn't just pervade fab but the general populace, although the men of fab are far, far more vocal about it. I am no more or less successful in finding a partner or one off fling on fab, who meets what I'm looking for, than I am 'in the street'. What I'm looking for, who I'm willing to meet doesn't change depending on my location. But I got a lot more abuse on fab than anywhere else, telling me I was entitled, thinking I could "punch above my weight". On my couples profile with my ex we had one couple go on a huge rant aimed at my ex asking if I was a pity fuck, how could someone who worked so hard at their body bare to be with someone who obviously didn't (I mean... I did. We trained and ran together. He know how hard I worked) Now, as I've lost weight that abuse has lessened. I'm sure by the time I've finished that process and had my tummy tuck even more men will think my having prefernces and opinions even more valid. Basically this rant boils down to: No one is 'better' or more 'entitled', beauty is completely in the eye of the beholder, as is bodily autonomy. Nobody owes anyone a fuck, or desire. Appreciate if someone finds you attractive, be polite in declining if they are not for you.... And in direct answer to the OP. I don't think a large proportion of men actually put a huge punt of effort in - I don't count sending copypasta to every woman online in a 50 mile radius as effort. | |||
"I think they need to if truth be told. In my experience on here and from what I've seen, a lot of women get entitled by the attention and have the pick of the bunch. When you have that kind of free rein, it's standard that they expect the man to do the chasing. Most of the time they probably act differently on here than they would do in the real world. And anyone offended by this post, the shoe probably fits." What she said
Used to chase when I was younger not so much now. If I get no interest on 1st message I move on plenty more fish in the sea. They more you chase the more you feed into their ego or maybe they just don't really fancy you!  why waste time I say | |||
"We are horrified by some of the entitlement we see on here. Profiles with RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW!!!! to even contact me / us. People that wouldn’t get a second glance in the street acting like their Gods gift. If I was a single guy I wouldn’t chase these twats if they had a cure for old age. This is the kind of attitude I really struggle with on fab. Because it doesn't just pervade fab but the general populace, although the men of fab are far, far more vocal about it. I am no more or less successful in finding a partner or one off fling on fab, who meets what I'm looking for, than I am 'in the street'. What I'm looking for, who I'm willing to meet doesn't change depending on my location. But I got a lot more abuse on fab than anywhere else, telling me I was entitled, thinking I could "punch above my weight". On my couples profile with my ex we had one couple go on a huge rant aimed at my ex asking if I was a pity fuck, how could someone who worked so hard at their body bare to be with someone who obviously didn't (I mean... I did. We trained and ran together. He know how hard I worked) Now, as I've lost weight that abuse has lessened. I'm sure by the time I've finished that process and had my tummy tuck even more men will think my having prefernces and opinions even more valid. Basically this rant boils down to: No one is 'better' or more 'entitled', beauty is completely in the eye of the beholder, as is bodily autonomy. Nobody owes anyone a fuck, or desire. Appreciate if someone finds you attractive, be polite in declining if they are not for you.... And in direct answer to the OP. I don't think a large proportion of men actually put a huge punt of effort in - I don't count sending copypasta to every woman online in a 50 mile radius as effort. " I think you're absolutely right and that comment smacks of entitlement. I wouldn't look at you twice in the street so you should be grateful and respond to my messages and advances. | |||
"I think they need to if truth be told. In my experience on here and from what I've seen, a lot of women get entitled by the attention and have the pick of the bunch. When you have that kind of free rein, it's standard that they expect the man to do the chasing. Most of the time they probably act differently on here than they would do in the real world. And anyone offended by this post, the shoe probably fits. What she said
Used to chase when I was younger not so much now. If I get no interest on 1st message I move on plenty more fish in the sea. They more you chase the more you feed into their ego or maybe they just don't really fancy you! why waste time I say"Exactly this why waste your time. I don’t chase anyone especially when you know you are one of many chasing them. | |||
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"The mountain comes to Rex not the other way round "You're page one of hot pics, you don't need to anything but sit pretty | |||
