FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why oh why oh why...
Why oh why oh why...
Jump to: Newest in thread
do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?
Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?
Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?
Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?
Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?
Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?
Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?
Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?
Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."
Grumpus bumpus  just take it as a compliment, not like you have to reply is it! : |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sorry op it was the title ha ha
Oh tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Please tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Do you ever question your life?
Do you ever wonder why?
Do you ever see in your dreams
All the castles in the sky?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry op it was the title ha ha
Oh tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Please tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Do you ever question your life?
Do you ever wonder why?
Do you ever see in your dreams
All the castles in the sky?
"
Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry op it was the title ha ha
Oh tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Please tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Do you ever question your life?
Do you ever wonder why?
Do you ever see in your dreams
All the castles in the sky?
Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune! "
Yes it is a all time classic it was the first thing I thought off when I seen the title in the lounge ha ha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And to be fair, your face isn't even on show in your profile so rant away! If your face was on show it would be understandable but they have no idea what you really look like, a great body doesn't mean you're gorgeous... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"And to be fair, your face isn't even on show in your profile so rant away! If your face was on show it would be understandable but they have no idea what you really look like, a great body doesn't mean you're gorgeous..."
Did you even look at her profile?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And to be fair, your face isn't even on show in your profile so rant away! If your face was on show it would be understandable but they have no idea what you really look like, a great body doesn't mean you're gorgeous...
Did you even look at her profile? "
Oops...must of missed the second pic...sorry! Was more focused on the last one  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
To be fair when I was single and back out there again I've been asked that question a few times by women. Which I took as a compliment. But I get things are different in a woman's shoes and understandable you may feel differently about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Tad grumpy git. :DYou're right to some extent though.
I think it's an (intended to be) harmless compliment. But yes, there are some ideas that if a person is single and attractive (or even not) then they must be unhappy/wanting to be with someone. That's not quite true nor how it works. We place value on relationships and think that others must share them too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Grumpus bumpus just take it as a compliment, not like you have to reply is it! :"
Yeah, I get that it's meant as a compliment, and actually I guess it's a pretty good filter of who not to reply to 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Tiring isn't it?
I think they see it as a compliment.
I always say I haven't met anyone that meets my expectations/requirements/who fulfills my needs "
Very tiring!
I really don't want to reply though as that opens up the lines of communications! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?
Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?
Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?
Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?
Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."
OP, every day is a school day. I would not have thought that this question would cause irritation.
If I had written it, it would be meant as a compliment, but also to gauge how much free time you have as a potential play partner. Many single women profiles are actually in relationships of one type or another. This question compliments while cutting to the chase, if that makes sense? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sorry op it was the title ha ha
Oh tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Please tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Do you ever question your life?
Do you ever wonder why?
Do you ever see in your dreams
All the castles in the sky?
Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune!
Yes it is a all time classic it was the first thing I thought off when I seen the title in the lounge ha ha "
Forgive me both of you, but I can't place these lyrics  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Make up wild lies about why and watch their comeback. I've taken to being arsey with blokes who disrespect us just to make myself laugh.
C"
It's so tempting sometimes. But I just can't be bothered when I know I have intention of pursuing the interaction |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I reel off a whole list of reasons including my laziness; my untidy house because I'm a slut; my hemorrhoids; my devotion to my family; my lack of money; my fat body etc etc."
And maybe you're a bit of a fibber in some respects??  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"And to be fair, your face isn't even on show in your profile so rant away! If your face was on show it would be understandable but they have no idea what you really look like, a great body doesn't mean you're gorgeous...
Did you even look at her profile?
Oops...must of missed the second pic...sorry! Was more focused on the last one "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
OP, every day is a school day. I would not have thought that this question would cause irritation.
If I had written it, it would be meant as a compliment, but also to gauge how much free time you have as a potential play partner. Many single women profiles are actually in relationships of one type or another. This question compliments while cutting to the chase, if that makes sense?"
That does make sense, and it's great to get some perspective from the other side. Thank you. Subconscious bias at work here maybe? (On my side)
I've always considered myself to be fairly tolerant and quite patient, but these messages all close together have triggered something today |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I mean, I wouldn't dream of doing that.
As I can't, because of your filters.
That's on you
Honestly though, I mean, this place will drive you mad if you let every engorged one handed Oscar Wilde wannabe get to you, so just, give in to the absurdity, troll them back, amuse yourself.
Or delete, block and roll through the day to some appropriate spotify playlist. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I mean, I wouldn't dream of doing that.
As I can't, because of your filters.
That's on you
Honestly though, I mean, this place will drive you mad if you let every engorged one handed Oscar Wilde wannabe get to you, so just, give in to the absurdity, troll them back, amuse yourself.
Or delete, block and roll through the day to some appropriate spotify playlist."
D'oh!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I reel off a whole list of reasons including my laziness; my untidy house because I'm a slut; my hemorrhoids; my devotion to my family; my lack of money; my fat body etc etc."
Pwoarr . God job I know you're not any of that x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
They definitely see it as a compliment but yeah, it’s annoying as fuck. I don’t even respond to it any more.
Or they say “there’s no way you’re single, you’ve definitely got a fella” like it’s unimaginable that I would actually choose to be single and enjoy the freedom that comes with it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They definitely see it as a compliment but yeah, it’s annoying as fuck. I don’t even respond to it any more.
Or they say “there’s no way you’re single, you’ve definitely got a fella” like it’s unimaginable that I would actually choose to be single and enjoy the freedom that comes with it. "
This  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?
Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?
Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?
Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?
Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."
I don't know you but I would say grumpy git and need to get over yourself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I guess asking that, they feel they're offering a compliment.
It isn't a gender thing, whenever I was single, I was asked it many times.
I see it as a banal conversation starter, almost like talking about the weather, or asking a taxi driver have they been busy etc etc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry op it was the title ha ha
Oh tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Please tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why
Are the castles way up high.
Do you ever question your life?
Do you ever wonder why?
Do you ever see in your dreams
All the castles in the sky?
Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune!
Yes it is a all time classic it was the first thing I thought off when I seen the title in the lounge ha ha
Forgive me both of you, but I can't place these lyrics "
Sorry for the late response op
The song is Ian van Dahl Castles in the sky
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JjTV8i_KjXM |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I totally understand this as I used to get messages like that. I've also seen comments on threads that say similar. The person sending it thinks it's a compliment but it really isn't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?
"
Yes it’s because you are grumpy
I never get that question.. maybe that’s because they think I’m too good for everyone and out of everyone’s league. 
#think positive op, they tried a compliment, and obviously failed completely.
I do often wonder why very attractive women are not with a partner, but then I’m scared to ask and find out they are psychotic |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I get it all the time as well. Suppose they trying to give you a back handed compliment. I bet they think deep down, there must be something wrong with her! Lol nope, just too many unsuitable men in this world. Where are the gentlemen? Definitely haven't found him yet online. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I do often wonder why very attractive women are not with a partner, but then I’m scared to ask and find out they are psychotic "
This is exactly my point. Why wouldn’t they be? Why is it strange to think that they have chosen a single lifestyle? Do you wonder the same about women that you deem unattractive or is it assumed and accepted that they’d be single? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I do often wonder why very attractive women are not with a partner, but then I’m scared to ask and find out they are psychotic
This is exactly my point. Why wouldn’t they be? Why is it strange to think that they have chosen a single lifestyle? Do you wonder the same about women that you deem unattractive or is it assumed and accepted that they’d be single? "
So my attractive and someone else’s attractive will always be different. I could be talking about someone that they think are unattractive. We both understand that.
So, it’s just my ‘oh my god, I want that woman holding my hand, ehy isn’t everine falling over themselves making that woman theirs!’ mindset.
Yes sure, if I spoke to them and see how independent that are, I then understand it’s about them and not that others are trying their hardest.
Does that explain it? (Probably not)
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?
Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?
Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?
Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?
Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."
It's because it's a shit question and implies only beautiful people are worthy of being in relationships. If you're ugly it's ok that you're single. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?
Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?
Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?
Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?
Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."
Just tell em you're a serial killer and haven't found anyone worth sparing yet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
OP, I've no idea why someone would ask such an irrelevant question but I can understand why it would irrate you.
My advice, delete the message and focus on the people you do get on with and want to know more about.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
*runs and hides, giggling*
