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Reassessing
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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boundaries. We all have them - whether it's down to feeling uncomfortable, respect and understanding for ourselves or others.
How open are you to having them challenged? Do you ever reassess them or are they steadfast things with zero room for wavering/softening? Do you find it important to discuss your (appropriate) boundaries with people (from Fab or any setting) or do you tend to keep schtum until someone is close to them?
It's early but I'm not a snog/fuck/marry thread starter, even at this time of day. :D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Boundaries have always confused me, especially when I get someone telling me that want to push mine. Push them to where?
OP, what do you consider a boundary? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never mention them. Which is, I do have boundaries but I’m happy for them to be pushed and moved for someone, but I won’t state upfront.
I’m very fluid with mine, and that why I don’t state anything upfront. I like to go with the flow and compromise.
That isn’t to say they can’t be crossed. I will move them, but they still exist, when they are finally crossed, I won’t forget it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My boumdries were that I dontbmind touching with a guy by accident but we would not perform any acts on each other during a 3some.
This was challenged last night as hubby sucked me off as I made out with his wife. Feels the same so it didnt bother me as much as i thought it would. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Do you mean sex boundaries or all types?
"
All types. I wasn't particularly thinking about sex types to be honest because they tend to be accompanied to the chorus of "I don't have any boundaries" by horny folk when they really, definitely do. But yeah, sex types can be included. Deliberately leaving it vague because it's early and I'm curious as to how people respond. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Boundaries have always confused me, especially when I get someone telling me that want to push mine. Push them to where?
OP, what do you consider a boundary?"
Well I guess it could be anything for another person that helps them get on with other people while safeguarding/protecting their emotional/mental/physical health.
So two examples would be
a) a person doesn't want to discuss others.
or
b) they won't date people who aren't vegan.
I guess you could go into the semantics and obviously it's a very subjective word but that's what I'm curious about - what it means to a person and how they view them. |
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Off fab I often don't know where my boundaries are until someone gets near them, especially in social situations. It's often not possible or even appropriate to discuss them. If I was thinking of entering a long term relationship romantically with someone I'd encourage initial expression of boundaries.
On fab I think it wise to discuss general does and don'ts with the ever constant understanding that a no is not negotiable |
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All of my boundaries are scenes or acts that do not arouse me.
I'm superb at visualisation so can act out a scene in my head quite competently in order to see if my thoughts and feelings have changed.
Whilst I am happy to discuss my current boundaries with playmates, I won't have them challenged in a scene  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I never mention them. Which is, I do have boundaries but I’m happy for them to be pushed and moved for someone, but I won’t state upfront.
I’m very fluid with mine, and that why I don’t state anything upfront. I like to go with the flow and compromise.
That isn’t to say they can’t be crossed. I will move them, but they still exist, when they are finally crossed, I won’t forget it. "
Ah sort of fluctuating, circumstantial? I can understand that. If you don't discuss them how does someone know they've crossed them? Do you then discuss it or do you just get a bit huffy and grumpy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I see as my moral boundaries things I believe I shouldn't do, I don't explore
Personal boundaries things that may challenge or cause fear, happy to be tested , but equally happy to say no
Sexually I think they are set for me by my age and the way I look
My thoughts for what they're worth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never mention them. Which is, I do have boundaries but I’m happy for them to be pushed and moved for someone, but I won’t state upfront.
I’m very fluid with mine, and that why I don’t state anything upfront. I like to go with the flow and compromise.
That isn’t to say they can’t be crossed. I will move them, but they still exist, when they are finally crossed, I won’t forget it.
Ah sort of fluctuating, circumstantial? I can understand that. If you don't discuss them how does someone know they've crossed them? Do you then discuss it or do you just get a bit huffy and grumpy? "
I like people who tease and push boundaries to find out what makes me tick. I don’t like t lying someone, because that says they shouldn’t go there. And where’s the fun in exploring. Because that’s what I want to do with them, push out of there comfort zone if I know they’d enjoy it. (Does this make sense?)
But yes, I would sulk and go off in a grumpy mood. They should have known not to push too much, I’m disappointed they didn’t know better, even if I didn’t tell them. 
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"And yes, I do reassess and under so.e circumstances I'm happy to have them challenged but need ignored"
I'm of a similar mindset. For the most part I'm quite happy to have them challenged by the right person, it's how I grow. But ignored is a non-negotiable for me.
What you said about not knowing what they are until someone gets near them is another thing. I'd like to think I'm fairly self aware but perhaps I'm Dunning-Krugering myself. |
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"And yes, I do reassess and under so.e circumstances I'm happy to have them challenged but need ignored
I'm of a similar mindset. For the most part I'm quite happy to have them challenged by the right person, it's how I grow. But ignored is a non-negotiable for me.
What you said about not knowing what they are until someone gets near them is another thing. I'd like to think I'm fairly self aware but perhaps I'm Dunning-Krugering myself."
The older I get the less self aware I realise I am...maybe that's the ultimate in self awareness  . Who's applying the Dunning-Kruger effect now! |
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I have boundary awareness, both in sexual context and also in social. I know where they are, I don’t necessarily feel the need to discuss unless I feel my playmate is definitely likely to test them - some will because it’s a challenge even when you ask them not to.
As for socially - I’d say my boundaries are more about tolerance levels and mine are pretty low! I rock and roll with like minded but I’m increasing irritated by those who I consider hard work  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"And yes, I do reassess and under so.e circumstances I'm happy to have them challenged but need ignored
I'm of a similar mindset. For the most part I'm quite happy to have them challenged by the right person, it's how I grow. But ignored is a non-negotiable for me.
What you said about not knowing what they are until someone gets near them is another thing. I'd like to think I'm fairly self aware but perhaps I'm Dunning-Krugering myself."
Boundaries should always be fluid but entirely at the discretion of the individual.
Particularly with specific sex acts - just because you're happy to do something with one person it should never be assumed or expected that you'll do it with all and sundry.
Some things are left just between couples. Some things are activities you'd be happy to indulge in with those you know well, have full confidence in and have sufficient trust in that should your feelings change at any given moment they're guaranteed to stop immediately.
I don't imagine there's a person on this planet that doesn't have some kind of hard limit when it comes to boundaries. But likewise it's a rare person that will never change their views on at least some activities during their lifetime.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get it out of the way as soon as possible, be direct, waste minimal time and get things where they need to be.
As for the vagueness of the term boundary, I think it's easily confused with preference, whimsy or taste.
Boundary for me, is a term surrounding an idea or thought that is carefully considered and subsequently, demarcated as such to provide clear identification that it is a no trespass zone. Test or challenge the limits at your peril, that signifies disrespect for my position, or intelligence regarding my point of conclusion.
That's a greater kiss of death than a love for track suits.
If I think you'll disregard my boundaries, which I'll state early on for good reason. It's done. I won't trust you to not "test" them again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Boundaries have always confused me, especially when I get someone telling me that want to push mine. Push them to where?
OP, what do you consider a boundary?"
If someone tells me they want to push my boundaries it's game over. No matter what the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you mean sex boundaries or all types?
All types. I wasn't particularly thinking about sex types to be honest because they tend to be accompanied to the chorus of "I don't have any boundaries" by horny folk when they really, definitely do. But yeah, sex types can be included. Deliberately leaving it vague because it's early and I'm curious as to how people respond."
I like the question. |
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I've never considered boundaries irl. There are obviously things I won't do but I've never analysed the reasons behind that. It's much more instinctive.
In a fab setting there are a few hard boundaries that I've no interest at all in pushing or crossing. One of those is age related and my lower filter is set in stone.
Apart from that I will step out of my comfort zone now and again and I have encouraged others to do likewise but I see those as soft boundaries. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a constant reassessor type, depending on context. There are some very firm ones (no way are you sticking that in my nostril!), but others are situation and companion dependant. Growing up in a violent household and being socially inept as a child has meant having to demolish umhealthy boundaries and rebuild some solid healthy ones as an adult. I had to consciously think about it in a way I don't think most people need to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Boundaries have always confused me, especially when I get someone telling me that want to push mine. Push them to where?
OP, what do you consider a boundary?
If someone tells me they want to push my boundaries it's game over. No matter what the situation. "
I blocked the person that sent me a message containing that. It was an initial message so he knew nothing about me. I should have asked what it meant. I think men send it automatically without thinking it through. |
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"Boundaries have always confused me, especially when I get someone telling me that want to push mine. Push them to where?
OP, what do you consider a boundary?
If someone tells me they want to push my boundaries it's game over. No matter what the situation.
I blocked the person that sent me a message containing that. It was an initial message so he knew nothing about me. I should have asked what it meant. I think men send it automatically without thinking it through. "
There are many profiles that clearly state they are here to push their own boundaries and many forum comments about it being the main reason that some joined the site or how the site has allowed them to break through boundaries. It's definitely an individual thing but some people do see that as a box that many are looking to tick and that's why they take that initial approach. |
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Boundaries always feels like such a strict word. Yes I have non negotiables which I find easy to communicate to people and think it’s important to do so. One thing fab has taught me is that sexually I am forever evolving and that’s ok. There’s things which I would have been a hard no but actually through talking to people about things and getting comfortable with certain people they have become a yes. However that doesn’t mean they are with every person or situation and most likely will be mood dependent.
Kx |
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It’s important to test your boundaries in all their forms. The world changes, new evidence emerges and we’re deluged with information - some good, some bad, some frankly bonkers. If you don’t engage with this stuff and ask “where do I stand?” you’re condemned to remain in the dark. |
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God yes!
The only way we develop is to keep challenging ourselves and our beliefs. I'm a firm believer that life doesn't stand still, so neither should we.
If I'd never pushed my boundaries I would still be living a very insular life never having enjoyed the amazing experiences that this world and the wonderful people in it have treated me to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mens profiles that “want to push your boundaries”
So what does “no” mean to you then?
A challenge 
Tell that to the judge "
It depends how she said it …
Oh no, stop. Oh no. No. Stop …
Which sounds like (go on, try me. Push me. I like it really but want to pretend I don’t….
And then there’s No!! Which sounded like STOP.
context pal, not everyone is trying to do what your making out they are doing.  |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Mens profiles that “want to push your boundaries”
So what does “no” mean to you then?
A challenge
Tell that to the judge
It depends how she said it …
Oh no, stop. Oh no. No. Stop …
Which sounds like (go on, try me. Push me. I like it really but want to pretend I don’t….
And then there’s No!! Which sounded like STOP.
context pal, not everyone is trying to do what your making out they are doing. "
But in this instance I am
Just remember kids “No” is not a safeword |
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"Dunno. If it feels right at the time it feels right. If it doesn't it doesn't. I don't overthink it. "
This is exactly what I was going to comment!
Relating to Fab, the goalposts have moved and evolved for sure. Can you tell I’m not a deep thinker?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think what's clear, is like everything else, we all have very different ideas of what boundaries mean haha.
One term to confuse them all, and on this website find them, one idea to bring them all, and in the darkness block them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mens profiles that “want to push your boundaries”
So what does “no” mean to you then?
A challenge
Tell that to the judge
It depends how she said it …
Oh no, stop. Oh no. No. Stop …
Which sounds like (go on, try me. Push me. I like it really but want to pretend I don’t….
And then there’s No!! Which sounded like STOP.
context pal, not everyone is trying to do what your making out they are doing. "
Literally your lawyer face palming as you’re lead from the dock |
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There will always be certain boundaries that are steadfast - the staples. Like hurting my children, not eating cucumber, etc…
But I’ve found most other boundaries are fluid, my beliefs in RL and on FAB are changing constantly. I’ve become more accepting of others and their beliefs, orientation and understand that the people you chat to are going through changes just as much as myself.
Sexually…FML…everything I believed in for 40 odd years has gone out of the window. My boundaries are best being drawn in pencil…I embrace challenging them for the pursuit of sexual nirvana 
K |
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I reassess them often; I'm quite heavily introverted and it kinda comes with that territory. Things that might usually seem everyday can scratch my brain or spike my senses a bit.
Vocalising it can be a bit tricky sometimes, but that's the work of growing, innit.
 |
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We have boundaries that are non negotiable.We made them together as a couple for a reason and anyone that mentioned pushing boundaries would not be people we would meet .
We do tend to talk to whoever we are meeting about our boundaries so we can make sure we are all on the same page. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mens profiles that “want to push your boundaries”
So what does “no” mean to you then?
A challenge
Tell that to the judge
It depends how she said it …
Oh no, stop. Oh no. No. Stop …
Which sounds like (go on, try me. Push me. I like it really but want to pretend I don’t….
And then there’s No!! Which sounded like STOP.
context pal, not everyone is trying to do what your making out they are doing.
Literally your lawyer face palming as you’re lead from the dock "
I asked my lawyer if o could say what I just wrote. He said no… I said it anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mens profiles that “want to push your boundaries”
So what does “no” mean to you then?
A challenge
Tell that to the judge
It depends how she said it …
Oh no, stop. Oh no. No. Stop …
Which sounds like (go on, try me. Push me. I like it really but want to pretend I don’t….
And then there’s No!! Which sounded like STOP.
context pal, not everyone is trying to do what your making out they are doing.
But in this instance I am
Just remember kids “No” is not a safeword "
I the waltzers in a carnival. Shouting STOP made him go faster. Everyone had so much fun, and I took note. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
So sexually my boundaries are generally minimal and fixed , things like being straight, not into excessive pain and not wanting to pegged.
But I guess even with fixed boundaries they can change over time and there’s always the possibility you meet someone very special who you allow to push far further than your comport zone to please them.
Other types of boundaries for self defence like I don't gamble, make friends with toxic people, eat takeaway, watch TV etc are pretty fixed |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I have boundary awareness, both in sexual context and also in social. I know where they are, I don’t necessarily feel the need to discuss unless I feel my playmate is definitely likely to test them - some will because it’s a challenge even when you ask them not to.
As for socially - I’d say my boundaries are more about tolerance levels and mine are pretty low! I rock and roll with like minded but I’m increasing irritated by those who I consider hard work "
You have low tolerance levels? Never. Consider me truly shocked at this admission.
You're right, for some there's a definite thrill in attempting to boundary push even when given a firm no (rightly or wrongly, I know some dynamics thrive on that sort of thing). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My boundaries used to be set in stone but my fwb has done really well to get me to open up, (literally on occasions!), to new experiences. Never rushed, always chatted in depth before trying anything and always with my full conscent when she knew I truly wanted to try it. I personally think this is the only way to be and I've enjoyed everything so far  |
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"Mens profiles that “want to push your boundaries”
So what does “no” mean to you then?
A challenge
Tell that to the judge
It depends how she said it …
Oh no, stop. Oh no. No. Stop …
Which sounds like (go on, try me. Push me. I like it really but want to pretend I don’t….
And then there’s No!! Which sounded like STOP.
context pal, not everyone is trying to do what your making out they are doing.
But in this instance I am
Just remember kids “No” is not a safeword "
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
Having done some emotional literacy work, my boundaries are much more clear to me. This also means that I am much more able to make them clear to others.
My sexual boundaries are fairly “out there” so anyone that was deliberately trying to push them wouldn’t be entertained.
Trusting my gut instinct is definitely improving my quality of life! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Boundaries have always confused me, especially when I get someone telling me that want to push mine. Push them to where?
OP, what do you consider a boundary?
If someone tells me they want to push my boundaries it's game over. No matter what the situation.
I blocked the person that sent me a message containing that. It was an initial message so he knew nothing about me. I should have asked what it meant. I think men send it automatically without thinking it through. "
I wouldn't ask what they meant. It gives them a chance to backtrack and water it down. When in reality they likely don't respect boundaries at all.
I agree they likely don't think it through. Same as "will try anything once". It's a desperate net flung out to catch anyone and everyone because they aren't having any luck otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont ever want to say bleeeeeuuur to timmy mallet thats for sure  "
I met him this week my son gave his bike a repair as he is riding round the UK for charity |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont ever want to say bleeeeeuuur to timmy mallet thats for sure I met him this week my son gave his bike a repair as he is riding round the UK for charity"
really thats a wicked concidink did you say bleeeeeeuuuur tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont ever want to say bleeeeeuuur to timmy mallet thats for sure I met him this week my son gave his bike a repair as he is riding round the UK for charityreally thats a wicked concidink did you say bleeeeeeuuuur tho "
No just asked him what he wanted to drink, was water with lots of ice |
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Hmmmmm. Short answer - it depends.
We all have boundaries, whether we realise it or not. Some will be fixed. Most are more fluid and may alter depending on situation, person, or knowledge gain. I don't think you'll be at all surprised to hear that I have absolutely no difficulty in communicating my boundaries When and how they are communicated is, again, situationally dependant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A very thoughtful question. I was thinking about this earlier this week. I don't give my number out. I have clear and justifiable reasons for this.
I was about to arrange a coffee with someone on another site and he wanted to chat on WhatsApp. I explained why I wouldn't at that point. He ended the chat after arguing with me. Said if I couldn't trust him it was pointless. Why would I trust a man I hadn't yet met?
My boundaries are clearly thought out because I've become more aware of how many people have pushed me around over the years. And it's happened so often with men that I now test them before agreeing to meet them. I bring up one of my boundaries and see how they respond. |
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"Hmmmmm. Short answer - it depends.
We all have boundaries, whether we realise it or not. Some will be fixed. Most are more fluid and may alter depending on situation, person, or knowledge gain. I don't think you'll be at all surprised to hear that I have absolutely no difficulty in communicating my boundaries When and how they are communicated is, again, situationally dependant. "
so true... it’s just nice to be open minded to sexy situations. .. the goal posts move around over time & boundaries can alter which can be surprisingly erotic |
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"A very thoughtful question. I was thinking about this earlier this week. I don't give my number out. I have clear and justifiable reasons for this.
I was about to arrange a coffee with someone on another site and he wanted to chat on WhatsApp. I explained why I wouldn't at that point. He ended the chat after arguing with me. Said if I couldn't trust him it was pointless. Why would I trust a man I hadn't yet met?
My boundaries are clearly thought out because I've become more aware of how many people have pushed me around over the years. And it's happened so often with men that I now test them before agreeing to meet them. I bring up one of my boundaries and see how they respond. "
What do you mean you test them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A very thoughtful question. I was thinking about this earlier this week. I don't give my number out. I have clear and justifiable reasons for this.
I was about to arrange a coffee with someone on another site and he wanted to chat on WhatsApp. I explained why I wouldn't at that point. He ended the chat after arguing with me. Said if I couldn't trust him it was pointless. Why would I trust a man I hadn't yet met?
My boundaries are clearly thought out because I've become more aware of how many people have pushed me around over the years. And it's happened so often with men that I now test them before agreeing to meet them. I bring up one of my boundaries and see how they respond.
What do you mean you test them?"
"I bring up one of my boundaries and see how they respond" |
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Boundaries I have lots, some are conscious and some are not.
Openness to them changing, very much depends on the person who is asking me to change them. Sometimes compromises need to be found and I think we should try to be flexible if we can.
Sexually I have two boundaries, which I'm upfront about if meeting someone. One is due to a long standing injury so xyz won't happen and one is a mental one which won't be crossed by someone I'm not familiar with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have some conscious boundaries that are my 'comfort zone'. I'd need to think carefully before pushing them but this very much depends on the person (or persons) I am with.
The more I know them, the more I'm likely to try something new.
Compromises may need to be found and I think we should try to be flexible if we can. |
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OP,
Interesting subject.
I think boundaries fall into two groups.
Fundamental boundaries: sex requires consent.
Then there are preference boundaries:
Rimming is yuk.
The second group needs regular review.
The first group not. That said there is an issue when society as a whole moves and what you thought of as a hard rule is no longer the case. Quite a bit of the strife on the for a arises from this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP,
Interesting subject.
I think boundaries fall into two groups.
Fundamental boundaries: sex requires consent.
Then there are preference boundaries:
Rimming is yuk.
The second group needs regular review.
The first group not. That said there is an issue when society as a whole moves and what you thought of as a hard rule is no longer the case. Quite a bit of the strife on the for a arises from this. "
Why would someone ever review something that they find yuk? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A very thoughtful question. I was thinking about this earlier this week. I don't give my number out. I have clear and justifiable reasons for this.
I was about to arrange a coffee with someone on another site and he wanted to chat on WhatsApp. I explained why I wouldn't at that point. He ended the chat after arguing with me. Said if I couldn't trust him it was pointless. Why would I trust a man I hadn't yet met?
My boundaries are clearly thought out because I've become more aware of how many people have pushed me around over the years. And it's happened so often with men that I now test them before agreeing to meet them. I bring up one of my boundaries and see how they respond. "
I find that men are often oblivious to issues that we face- such as your WhatsApp example.
Saying "no" to something and seeing how they react is a great way to assess the situation. |
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"A very thoughtful question. I was thinking about this earlier this week. I don't give my number out. I have clear and justifiable reasons for this.
I was about to arrange a coffee with someone on another site and he wanted to chat on WhatsApp. I explained why I wouldn't at that point. He ended the chat after arguing with me. Said if I couldn't trust him it was pointless. Why would I trust a man I hadn't yet met?
My boundaries are clearly thought out because I've become more aware of how many people have pushed me around over the years. And it's happened so often with men that I now test them before agreeing to meet them. I bring up one of my boundaries and see how they respond.
What do you mean you test them?
"I bring up one of my boundaries and see how they respond""
Ah, righto |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A very thoughtful question. I was thinking about this earlier this week. I don't give my number out. I have clear and justifiable reasons for this.
I was about to arrange a coffee with someone on another site and he wanted to chat on WhatsApp. I explained why I wouldn't at that point. He ended the chat after arguing with me. Said if I couldn't trust him it was pointless. Why would I trust a man I hadn't yet met?
My boundaries are clearly thought out because I've become more aware of how many people have pushed me around over the years. And it's happened so often with men that I now test them before agreeing to meet them. I bring up one of my boundaries and see how they respond.
I find that men are often oblivious to issues that we face- such as your WhatsApp example.
Saying "no" to something and seeing how they react is a great way to assess the situation. "
I thought if I explained he'd understand. But nope. Yes, turns out saying no is quite triggering for some people. I'd prefer to know upfront! |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
Ooooh Meli! What a delightful subject for a thread, so many contexts and directions this could be taken in…my kind of conversation!
I will need some time to contemplate my official reply. Please hold the line caller and we will get back to you shortly |
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Over time our boundaries have relaxed and we have opened up to more things. Generally never by plan more because of the awesome people we've found ourselves with and the situation feeling just right in that time and space.
We know each other so well and our communication is great. It gives us a freedom to stretch and cross boundaries dynamically when the situation and people feel right. The communication and relationships we have together gives us that freedom and flexibility to explore the scene and grow together. |
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Talking in a fab/sexual context, I have certain boundaries, some are more fluid than others but I wouldn’t change them or ignore them for someone else, but I am open minded enough to reassess whether I like something or not and how firm that boundary is.
In other aspects of life, I have boundaries but have struggled with enforcing them at times, but I am a lot better with that these days. Just yesterday someone trampled all over them horribly and today I have been very clear and firm and these boundaries are steadfast- which is something I would have struggled with previously. |
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Really interesting post Meli!!
I think that everyone does have boundaries, whether they are aware of them or not.
Given that we are into kink a conversation around boundaries and limits is alway high on our list of things to discuss with potential partners. People that say they have no limits or boundaries (specifically in a kink context) scare me a little, as it suggests they have not thought seriously about their own safety.
And I personally regularly think about my own boundaries, if I want to adjust them, and if so who with (ie everyone, or regular partners, or boyfriends)
MJ x |
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