FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The Voice of Self Doubt is back....
The Voice of Self Doubt is back....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meant in the kindest way - perhaps it’s worth speaking to someone from the Samaritans or MIND, as they are super good at talking things through.
I’ve rung them myself when I’ve felt low and it was the best decision ever.
You might not get what you need on here, although well done for reaching out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't believe that voice. Fight it with the positive thoughts of yourself. Force yourself to believe that self-doubting voice is a liar. What would you tell someone who says they have a friend who lies and belittles them? You'd tell them to kick that friend out on his arse. |
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"Don't believe that voice. Fight it with the positive thoughts of yourself. Force yourself to believe that self-doubting voice is a liar. What would you tell someone who says they have a friend who lies and belittles them? You'd tell them to kick that friend out on his arse."
Just tried thinking of what is positive about me but I can't get passed this mental block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Meant in the kindest way - perhaps it’s worth speaking to someone from the Samaritans or MIND, as they are super good at talking things through.
I’ve rung them myself when I’ve felt low and it was the best decision ever.
You might not get what you need on here, although well done for reaching out."
I think this is very good advice, it never hurts to talk to someone about mental health. I have in the past when I was finding life difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't believe that voice. Fight it with the positive thoughts of yourself. Force yourself to believe that self-doubting voice is a liar. What would you tell someone who says they have a friend who lies and belittles them? You'd tell them to kick that friend out on his arse.
Just tried thinking of what is positive about me but I can't get passed this mental block."
The fact that you are trying to find something positive is positive in itself |
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Fab is a bad place to be if you are feeling negative but it can also be a great place for support. You've reached out and people here will listen and help. Ever need a chat dude just DM. Fab doesn't leave a friend behind. |
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I think this all stems back to when I was bullied at school and the failed relationships years later. The voice makes me feel like I'll always be a failure that will never find any kind of happiness in my life  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think this all stems back to when I was bullied at school and the failed relationships years later. The voice makes me feel like I'll always be a failure that will never find any kind of happiness in my life "
This is probably not a good site to get any self esteem. Try a normal dating site you will have much better success than competing against all the guys on here chasing the few women on here who are genuinely seeking some adult fun. |
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"I think this all stems back to when I was bullied at school and the failed relationships years later. The voice makes me feel like I'll always be a failure that will never find any kind of happiness in my life
This is probably not a good site to get any self esteem. Try a normal dating site you will have much better success than competing against all the guys on here chasing the few women on here who are genuinely seeking some adult fun."
Relationships are off for me as I'm not risking my heart getting broken again. |
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"Don't believe that voice. Fight it with the positive thoughts of yourself. Force yourself to believe that self-doubting voice is a liar. What would you tell someone who says they have a friend who lies and belittles them? You'd tell them to kick that friend out on his arse.
Just tried thinking of what is positive about me but I can't get passed this mental block.
The fact that you are trying to find something positive is positive in itself "
That is good but it still is a battle for me at the moment. |
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By *oe LeanMan
over a year ago
Sittingbourne |
For a few minutes try not to focus on what you think is good about you.
Let your mind go to people from your past or present and think about why they chose to spend time with you. Then put yourself in their position and work out the positive things they have thought about you.
Sounds easy but might not be at first...push away your own negative feelings and try to see yourself through their eyes...not clouded by your own emotions...
Because those people say things in you that you either overlook, take for granted or just don't see.
But they did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I can't seem to shake it off. It's like a demon eating away at my soul by whispering negative thoughts into my head which are crushing the confidence in myself.
I don't know what to do "
Have you tried yoga, meditation or mindfulness? I find these helpful to quiet those voices
Missy x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everything I have managed to achieve on here in the past 5 years.
The voice says I'm a phoney and should give up making friends and stay alone forever "
Oh I see. Well don’t doubt yourself. Whatever it is you feel you’ve achieved still stands true. I have to admit I don’t fully understand, as I don’t see this as a place to achieve anything. It’s just a website.
In terms of making friends - There’s a whole world out there to make connections - and it’s much better than a swinging website.
Remember friendships always work best when they start naturally.
I’m curious though - what do you consider to be your achievements via this site? That would be a good place to start thinking, and then wondering why you value those things and how you can achieve similar again or elsewhere x |
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"Everything I have managed to achieve on here in the past 5 years.
The voice says I'm a phoney and should give up making friends and stay alone forever
Oh I see. Well don’t doubt yourself. Whatever it is you feel you’ve achieved still stands true. I have to admit I don’t fully understand, as I don’t see this as a place to achieve anything. It’s just a website.
In terms of making friends - There’s a whole world out there to make connections - and it’s much better than a swinging website.
Remember friendships always work best when they start naturally.
I’m curious though - what do you consider to be your achievements via this site? That would be a good place to start thinking, and then wondering why you value those things and how you can achieve similar again or elsewhere x"
I came here because I needed to find some new friends which I'm glad I was able to do because if it weren't for the them, it would have been pretty much Game Over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everything I have managed to achieve on here in the past 5 years.
The voice says I'm a phoney and should give up making friends and stay alone forever
Oh I see. Well don’t doubt yourself. Whatever it is you feel you’ve achieved still stands true. I have to admit I don’t fully understand, as I don’t see this as a place to achieve anything. It’s just a website.
In terms of making friends - There’s a whole world out there to make connections - and it’s much better than a swinging website.
Remember friendships always work best when they start naturally.
I’m curious though - what do you consider to be your achievements via this site? That would be a good place to start thinking, and then wondering why you value those things and how you can achieve similar again or elsewhere x
I came here because I needed to find some new friends which I'm glad I was able to do because if it weren't for the them, it would have been pretty much Game Over."
There you go...you have made friends, you have verifications....most guys can't even get a message....so stop moaning,stand up straight and yell to the world...IM FUCKING AWESOME |
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"Everything I have managed to achieve on here in the past 5 years.
The voice says I'm a phoney and should give up making friends and stay alone forever
Oh I see. Well don’t doubt yourself. Whatever it is you feel you’ve achieved still stands true. I have to admit I don’t fully understand, as I don’t see this as a place to achieve anything. It’s just a website.
In terms of making friends - There’s a whole world out there to make connections - and it’s much better than a swinging website.
Remember friendships always work best when they start naturally.
I’m curious though - what do you consider to be your achievements via this site? That would be a good place to start thinking, and then wondering why you value those things and how you can achieve similar again or elsewhere x
I came here because I needed to find some new friends which I'm glad I was able to do because if it weren't for the them, it would have been pretty much Game Over.
There you go...you have made friends, you have verifications....most guys can't even get a message....so stop moaning,stand up straight and yell to the world...IM FUCKING AWESOME "
Not very encouraging words plus that stop moaning part comes off like them bad pieces of advice like "get a grip" or "suck it up" which I think is insulting for people who have depressive thoughts. |
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"And I can't seem to shake it off. It's like a demon eating away at my soul by whispering negative thoughts into my head which are crushing the confidence in myself.
I don't know what to do "
Yup, I get like this too.
Keep strong bro  |
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"And I can't seem to shake it off. It's like a demon eating away at my soul by whispering negative thoughts into my head which are crushing the confidence in myself.
I don't know what to do
Yup, I get like this too.
Keep strong bro "
I'll do my best |
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"Fab is a bad place to be if you are feeling negative but it can also be a great place for support. You've reached out and people here will listen and help. Ever need a chat dude just DM. Fab doesn't leave a friend behind."
Lovely post … rare on here x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everything I have managed to achieve on here in the past 5 years.
The voice says I'm a phoney and should give up making friends and stay alone forever
Oh I see. Well don’t doubt yourself. Whatever it is you feel you’ve achieved still stands true. I have to admit I don’t fully understand, as I don’t see this as a place to achieve anything. It’s just a website.
In terms of making friends - There’s a whole world out there to make connections - and it’s much better than a swinging website.
Remember friendships always work best when they start naturally.
I’m curious though - what do you consider to be your achievements via this site? That would be a good place to start thinking, and then wondering why you value those things and how you can achieve similar again or elsewhere x
I came here because I needed to find some new friends which I'm glad I was able to do because if it weren't for the them, it would have been pretty much Game Over.
There you go...you have made friends, you have verifications....most guys can't even get a message....so stop moaning,stand up straight and yell to the world...IM FUCKING AWESOME
Not very encouraging words plus that stop moaning part comes off like them bad pieces of advice like "get a grip" or "suck it up" which I think is insulting for people who have depressive thoughts."
You're right in pointing out those statements as being rather negative in themselves. However, don't focus on that because they are simply nuances in how people talk.
Try to see the deeper meaning of what he was saying. It was meant to be encouraging, that you should focus on the positives about yourself, which you did when you said you have made friends and I am certain they have lovely sentiments about you. That little voice inside you likes to lie and tell you that you don't matter and all that. You must fight that instinct to listen to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I say this with the upmost respect and also from personal experience you need to listen to the sensible advice people are reaching out to give you, contact a professional service and speak to them asap. Obviously you know the decent people on here will give you support and advice i also hope you have a hood support network around you. Good luck and take care |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everything I have managed to achieve on here in the past 5 years.
The voice says I'm a phoney and should give up making friends and stay alone forever
Oh I see. Well don’t doubt yourself. Whatever it is you feel you’ve achieved still stands true. I have to admit I don’t fully understand, as I don’t see this as a place to achieve anything. It’s just a website.
In terms of making friends - There’s a whole world out there to make connections - and it’s much better than a swinging website.
Remember friendships always work best when they start naturally.
I’m curious though - what do you consider to be your achievements via this site? That would be a good place to start thinking, and then wondering why you value those things and how you can achieve similar again or elsewhere x
I came here because I needed to find some new friends which I'm glad I was able to do because if it weren't for the them, it would have been pretty much Game Over.
There you go...you have made friends, you have verifications....most guys can't even get a message....so stop moaning,stand up straight and yell to the world...IM FUCKING AWESOME
Not very encouraging words plus that stop moaning part comes off like them bad pieces of advice like "get a grip" or "suck it up" which I think is insulting for people who have depressive thoughts.
You're right in pointing out those statements as being rather negative in themselves. However, don't focus on that because they are simply nuances in how people talk.
Try to see the deeper meaning of what he was saying. It was meant to be encouraging, that you should focus on the positives about yourself, which you did when you said you have made friends and I am certain they have lovely sentiments about you. That little voice inside you likes to lie and tell you that you don't matter and all that. You must fight that instinct to listen to it."
Thank you,that was exactly what I was attempting to do x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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fab is worst place to be if you feel like this
please contact mental health services /gp for support ive rang samaritans before when i needed to and they were very good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bit left field but see if you can get your testosterone level checked. Low levels can have really negative effects on anxiety and depression, muvh like the menopause in women.
If this has been a long term probelm its worth a look. Tho the nhs will probably try and fill you full of anti depressents rather than look at what may be causing the issues. |
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