FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Effort = effort out.
Effort = effort out.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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“You get out what you put in”. I’ve heard this said often when people have complained about not getting sexy sex within the first few weeks after joining fab.
But is it that simple?
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face? 
The way I see it is, I get more out of it the more effort people put in. (Stay with me here)
Forums. It’s only fun when others are fun. Etc, does that make sense.
And seriously, and I’m only speculating, how much effort does a hot chic with a singles profile need to put in? (That’s not a dog by the way, just an observation from time in here)
This isn’t a negative post, just a conversation starter.  
So what’s the formula to get maximum results? What do you need to do? |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face? "
It's not as binary as that, it's a continuum
Don't log in for a month. Zero boobs in your face.
Make a bit of effort chatting. Potential for boobs in face, increasing with more chat.
Get a boob job. Instant boobs in face.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“You get out what you put in”. I’ve heard this said often when people have complained about not getting sexy sex within the first few weeks after joining fab.
But is it that simple?
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face?
The way I see it is, I get more out of it the more effort people put in. (Stay with me here)
Forums. It’s only fun when others are fun. Etc, does that make sense.
And seriously, and I’m only speculating, how much effort does a hot chic with a singles profile need to put in? (That’s not a dog by the way, just an observation from time in here)
This isn’t a negative post, just a conversation starter.
So what’s the formula to get maximum results? What do you need to do? "
Yes and no.
I don't get a huge amount of messages (not the 100s people seem to think) but if they are just hi and they've got a blank profile then there's very little for me to reply to. Personality is a big thing for me so if they can't show that they won't grab my attention.
You could have the best profile and the best opening message but still miss the mark. For me it would be too far away, no physical attraction etc. |
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I agree that you need to make an effort.
How much of an effort will depend on what you want to achieve.
I'm not looking to attend lots of socials so I don't make any effort to do so.
I'm not looking to attend non existent Irish clubs so once again as above.
I don't have time to travel around the country meeting others, therefore it's not fair on anyone to have numerous ongoing conversations so I don't message anyone and haven't done since the beginning of 2020.
I've made the effort with my profile and I make an effort in the forums.
People then decide that I'm approachable and worth contacting and conversations continue from that point.
Based on the ops point that probably means others are making the effort to get in touch and it could also look as though I'm a timewaster but I refuse to lead anyone along and am always upfront about my pace on here.
It states it clearly on my bio.
Therefore I agree that effort in equals effort out because I'm getting exactly what I want from the site and have no plans to change my approach.
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"“You get out what you put in”. I’ve heard this said often when people have complained about not getting sexy sex within the first few weeks after joining fab.
But is it that simple?
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face?
The way I see it is, I get more out of it the more effort people put in. (Stay with me here)
Forums. It’s only fun when others are fun. Etc, does that make sense.
And seriously, and I’m only speculating, how much effort does a hot chic with a singles profile need to put in? (That’s not a dog by the way, just an observation from time in here)
This isn’t a negative post, just a conversation starter.
So what’s the formula to get maximum results? What do you need to do?
Yes and no.
I don't get a huge amount of messages (not the 100s people seem to think) but if they are just hi and they've got a blank profile then there's very little for me to reply to. Personality is a big thing for me so if they can't show that they won't grab my attention.
You could have the best profile and the best opening message but still miss the mark. For me it would be too far away, no physical attraction etc. "
Some people rely solely on their profile pics to encourage others to engage and often there is little or nothing behind those pics.
Others have created fab and forum personalities which when you scratch the surface have very little depth.
Popularity is often confused with productivity on here and it has been said, even by the op that women don't have to make any effort.
That's very true but surely if you don't make any effort the vast majority of engagement will be with other like minded lazy profiles? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sayings like "you get out what you put in" are coined by successful people to justify their belief that all their success in life is thanks entirely to their conscious decisions and actions.
Her ladyship and I were taking about this the other day, we've both been here a singles and obviously now as a couple and only really had positive experiences and we were wondering why. I don't believe either of us put any more "effort" into our profiles or messages than many others who report far less positive experiences. Maybe we were/are just lucky. 
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face?
It's not as binary as that, it's a continuum
Don't log in for a month. Zero boobs in your face.
Make a bit of effort chatting. Potential for boobs in face, increasing with more chat.
Get a boob job. Instant boobs in face.
"
|
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"Men have to put lots of effort in to get a meet women on the other hand none at all x"
Totally agree with you 100 percent...women I think have it easy due to the ratio of men and women on here...
If there was 1 million women but only 300 thousand men then the boot would be on the other foot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But how much actual “effort” is it to write a reasonable bio, upload some half decent pictures and read a few profiles before sending a few selective messages.
It’s not like running a marathon is it?
Measured in minutes surely but obviously far too much effort for some still. |
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"Men have to put lots of effort in to get a meet women on the other hand none at all x
Totally agree with you 100 percent...women I think have it easy due to the ratio of men and women on here...
If there was 1 million women but only 300 thousand men then the boot would be on the other foot"
Yup that's about it in a nutshell x |
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It’s not and anyone telling you that is either lying or is actually quite privileged in their roll of the dice without knowing.
Come on here as a 5’3 overweight guy that’s not very good looking
Let me know how you get on. Let me know how much effort you can put in and how many results you get compared to a 6’2 Adonis
We have a fascination with “hard work pays off”. And it does, to a degree. But tell that to a child born into a dysfunctional family in a war torn 3rd country. Is his hard work going to pay off as much as a kid born into a wealthy white family in the UK? |
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"Men have to put lots of effort in to get a meet women on the other hand none at all x
Totally agree with you 100 percent...women I think have it easy due to the ratio of men and women on here...
If there was 1 million women but only 300 thousand men then the boot would be on the other foot
Yup that's about it in a nutshell x"
I can see from your verifications you have no issues....and fair play to you...I would definitely  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"“You get out what you put in”. I’ve heard this said often when people have complained about not getting sexy sex within the first few weeks after joining fab.
But is it that simple?
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face?
The way I see it is, I get more out of it the more effort people put in. (Stay with me here)
Forums. It’s only fun when others are fun. Etc, does that make sense.
And seriously, and I’m only speculating, how much effort does a hot chic with a singles profile need to put in? (That’s not a dog by the way, just an observation from time in here)
This isn’t a negative post, just a conversation starter.
So what’s the formula to get maximum results? What do you need to do?
Yes and no.
I don't get a huge amount of messages (not the 100s people seem to think) but if they are just hi and they've got a blank profile then there's very little for me to reply to. Personality is a big thing for me so if they can't show that they won't grab my attention.
You could have the best profile and the best opening message but still miss the mark. For me it would be too far away, no physical attraction etc.
Some people rely solely on their profile pics to encourage others to engage and often there is little or nothing behind those pics.
Others have created fab and forum personalities which when you scratch the surface have very little depth.
Popularity is often confused with productivity on here and it has been said, even by the op that women don't have to make any effort.
That's very true but surely if you don't make any effort the vast majority of engagement will be with other like minded lazy profiles?"
I've had a few people slide into my dms from the forums and we've had really good chats and banter. It's a shame that they have been too far away for anything more than exchanging messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men have to put lots of effort in to get a meet women on the other hand none at all x
Totally agree with you 100 percent...women I think have it easy due to the ratio of men and women on here...
If there was 1 million women but only 300 thousand men then the boot would be on the other foot"
It's not that easy. We are messed about a fair amount of times. |
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It still all boils down to your gender no matter how much effort you put in! Single guys that have regular successful meets generally are regular club visitors it seems. Combine that with a good profile and interact on the forums and you'll get something back, possibly 
Cherry x |
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"Men have to put lots of effort in to get a meet women on the other hand none at all x
Totally agree with you 100 percent...women I think have it easy due to the ratio of men and women on here...
If there was 1 million women but only 300 thousand men then the boot would be on the other foot
It's not that easy. We are messed about a fair amount of times. "
Not as messed about or ignored as men are, I know its the ratio and that what makes fab a challenge...
If you get a meet then you need to enjoy it... |
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"It still all boils down to your gender no matter how much effort you put in! Single guys that have regular successful meets generally are regular club visitors it seems. Combine that with a good profile and interact on the forums and you'll get something back, possibly
Cherry x"
Yes |
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I'd say the majority of meets have come from meeting people at clubs or socials that turn into long term friendship. The problem with written text is the personality of the author is often missed and therefore many nice people who would be attractive in real life get missed. I suppose seeing how far someone is may help determine a meet but would that exciting travel to meet always be so bad? |
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"Men have to put lots of effort in to get a meet women on the other hand none at all x
Totally agree with you 100 percent...women I think have it easy due to the ratio of men and women on here...
If there was 1 million women but only 300 thousand men then the boot would be on the other foot
It's not that easy. We are messed about a fair amount of times. "
Most men would take getting messed about a bit over literally not existing
The majority of men never even get a reply on here, let alone a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I separate what im looking for and who I message from. I wouldn't message someone from the forums other then to reply about a thread or something, it kinda works for me,I chat more with non forum users |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
When I really became active on fab I put effort into a profile that could stand out, with well written text and good pictures. Had my first "meet" within a week and never looked back. Being active on the forums and attending large organised socials greatly expanded things to the point where I was spoilt for choice and could be having meets every weekend if my bank account could keep up  |
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FAB offers the tools to create a good profile and to be successful on here.
It also offers you the opportunity to connect to others via the forums, cams. It also has adverts for socials, clubs, parties.
The more connections you make, the wider your circle, the easier it becomes to engage and connect.
But it also comes down to luck/fate 
I was on here 2 weeks before I could join the forum and I seen C. I messaged and it just turned out that one of her connections was leaving FAB and so she was looking for a replacement. Had I sent my message a week earlier, it may not have been picked up. Right place, right time.
But had my profile not been detailed or had intriguing pics, it also would have been ignored.
Buy more tickets and you increase your chances to be lucky
K |
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"FAB offers the tools to create a good profile and to be successful on here.
It also offers you the opportunity to connect to others via the forums, cams. It also has adverts for socials, clubs, parties.
The more connections you make, the wider your circle, the easier it becomes to engage and connect.
But it also comes down to luck/fate
I was on here 2 weeks before I could join the forum and I seen C. I messaged and it just turned out that one of her connections was leaving FAB and so she was looking for a replacement. Had I sent my message a week earlier, it may not have been picked up. Right place, right time.
But had my profile not been detailed or had intriguing pics, it also would have been ignored.
Buy more tickets and you increase your chances to be lucky
K"
As you say, right place right time |
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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"“You get out what you put in”. I’ve heard this said often when people have complained about not getting sexy sex within the first few weeks after joining fab.
But is it that simple?
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face?
The way I see it is, I get more out of it the more effort people put in. (Stay with me here)
Forums. It’s only fun when others are fun. Etc, does that make sense.
And seriously, and I’m only speculating, how much effort does a hot chic with a singles profile need to put in? (That’s not a dog by the way, just an observation from time in here)
This isn’t a negative post, just a conversation starter.
So what’s the formula to get maximum results? What do you need to do? "
Tried sending you a private message complimenting you on a great profile but fab says you have blocked people of our sex. Presumably couples. Is this why you are getting no messages ?
Just a thought x
Mrs N |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think right person right timing is the biggest factor.
It’s a weird trend, I got more fabs on my dick pics but I get more messages now my face is shown  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
There’s no formulae or system to interacting with the opposite sex. If you think like that you’ll no doubt do very badly. Work on yourself, forget about women , be successful in all aspects of life , be the best possible version of yourself and you’ll have no trouble getting women
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men have to put lots of effort in to get a meet women on the other hand none at all x
Totally agree with you 100 percent...women I think have it easy due to the ratio of men and women on here...
If there was 1 million women but only 300 thousand men then the boot would be on the other foot"
Try Nottingham, Failing that, my workplace… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not as simple as effort in = rewards.
That plays a part, but ultimately if you are the single most repugnant man on the planet with the world's greatest work ethics, nothing will bridge that gap.
Effort with regards to your profile helps, as does good quality pics and increasing your interaction through whatever means, forums, chat rooms, socials and club meets will all increase the odds.
However, that is no guarantee.
I sometimes think people assume this place is like a trading station, whereby if two people want something similar all you need to be is geographically close and the deals done. This in turn, leads to the "why can't I get meets?" threads, fundamentally it's the wrong mindset.
Effort helps, being not a dick helps, being attractive helps, being interesting, intelligent and amusing helps. But that isn't the secret code to dropping panties and doing a speed run through the site.
Ultimately luck will help, but I think if you put enough of yourself out there that is genuine, the right people will take notice and it falls into place.
Oh yeah don't be needy and desperate, that's more off putting than plaque, halitosis and poor grammar combined.
While I'm here, why am I getting no attention, no meets, I'm fucking delightful, bounce on me at my behest. I am the golden god, a 5 star man |
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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
I think that it is more about timing when sending the message and luck, with luck being the biggest factor as there could be alot of messages in their inbox, so they might not choose to go thru them all, maybe just the first few of them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"“You get out what you put in”. I’ve heard this said often when people have complained about not getting sexy sex within the first few weeks after joining fab.
But is it that simple?
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face?
The way I see it is, I get more out of it the more effort people put in. (Stay with me here)
Forums. It’s only fun when others are fun. Etc, does that make sense.
And seriously, and I’m only speculating, how much effort does a hot chic with a singles profile need to put in? (That’s not a dog by the way, just an observation from time in here)
This isn’t a negative post, just a conversation starter.
So what’s the formula to get maximum results? What do you need to do?
Tried sending you a private message complimenting you on a great profile but fab says you have blocked people of our sex. Presumably couples. Is this why you are getting no messages ?
Just a thought x
Mrs N"
Haha. You didn’t even read it, my profile sucks right now!!!! |
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"“You get out what you put in”. I’ve heard this said often when people have complained about not getting sexy sex within the first few weeks after joining fab.
But is it that simple?
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face?
The way I see it is, I get more out of it the more effort people put in. (Stay with me here)
Forums. It’s only fun when others are fun. Etc, does that make sense.
And seriously, and I’m only speculating, how much effort does a hot chic with a singles profile need to put in? (That’s not a dog by the way, just an observation from time in here)
This isn’t a negative post, just a conversation starter.
So what’s the formula to get maximum results? What do you need to do?
Tried sending you a private message complimenting you on a great profile but fab says you have blocked people of our sex. Presumably couples. Is this why you are getting no messages ?
Just a thought x
Mrs N
Haha. You didn’t even read it, my profile sucks right now!!!! "
She may be referring to your photos, and using the term profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with a lot of the comments here. I do think it's hard regardless for men but the key thing for me is a great profile and a good opening message. I like to see a bit of humour in a person and that is the key thing I look for and blank or one lined profiles to me scream that I am not gonna click, I like to ramble and laugh. But equally, the volume of messages does sometimes allow for those to slip through.
I would love to know the true formula one day. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think that it is more about timing when sending the message and luck, with luck being the biggest factor as there could be alot of messages in their inbox, so they might not choose to go thru them all, maybe just the first few of them."
I think having an attitude that luck plays a big part is a good way to handle a lot of disappointment… sometimes your lucky, sometimes your not. and we don’t blame ourselves. |
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Putting effort into Fab is a minimum standard for a single man, not a guarantee of anything.
No, a single woman doesn't have to put in as much effort to get interest. That's just the difference between the sexes. That may suck for the men on here but it's life. Get over it. Women have their own issues on here. Just because they can get sex easily, it doesn't mean it would be with men they want to have sex with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do believe that by putting effort in, it will give you a better chance at meeting someone.
There’s more to it though than just uploading photos and writing a bio.
Effort is also going out to organised socials and clubs, which are held up and down the country. You’ll more than likely receive a meet verification from going so that will itself improve your chance on here.
Then how much do you use the site are you active on the forums? Do you come across as someone to avoid or someone people want to get to know? For me the forum is one of the biggest filters, you can pretty much read peoples personalities without even interacting…
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found posting status daily increased my views and messages. Have to try and get a personality across to make you stand out i guess. Dont know the exact figures but would imagine its somewhere around 90% men on here so even with a well worded message its still pot luck whether it gets read with 100+ messages in her inbox still unread. I find it way easier to meet people naturally off the site and dont take this too seriously other than a bit of fun. |
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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I think that it is more about timing when sending the message and luck, with luck being the biggest factor as there could be alot of messages in their inbox, so they might not choose to go thru them all, maybe just the first few of them.
I think having an attitude that luck plays a big part is a good way to handle a lot of disappointment… sometimes your lucky, sometimes your not. and we don’t blame ourselves. "
That is right too and as the saying goes, you have to be init to win it |
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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago
Swindon |
It's not about the effort in, it's the quality of effort in.
Add to that the ratios of men to women and then that most women won't appreciate our own particular sense of humour/approach, it's always going to be tough.
All most men can do is grow a thick skin and keep on trying, it does work, just don't let the despairation get to you. |
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"I think clubs are a much better way to go.
I don't even bother relying on the site.
"
I have to disagree. I found the club scene to be quite depressing as a solo guy. Fab has been a great place to find genuine, likeminded people to share fun, and make friends with  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I don’t worry about others I don’t even worry about myself or gaining maximum results as that just sounds like you want to fuck the whole site, maximum results for me would be gaining long term friendships and with a very select few things to progress into more. Just be yourself, engage in conversations and the rest should happen naturally don’t put to much pressure on things as that will come across and potentially put people off. |
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"It's not about the effort in, it's the quality of effort in.
Add to that the ratios of men to women and then that most women won't appreciate our own particular sense of humour/approach, it's always going to be tough.
All most men can do is grow a thick skin and keep on trying, it does work, just don't let the despairation get to you. "
If you get knocked back....jump back up and try again....Great post mate |
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"I found posting status daily increased my views and messages. Have to try and get a personality across to make you stand out i guess. Dont know the exact figures but would imagine its somewhere around 90% men on here so even with a well worded message its still pot luck whether it gets read with 100+ messages in her inbox still unread. I find it way easier to meet people naturally off the site and dont take this too seriously other than a bit of fun."
Absolutely this! Fab is an extra to life, not actual life |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's not about the effort in, it's the quality of effort in.
….."
I think you nailed it right there for me.
There are some really good people here that stand out. |
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Since moving to Scotland I've had very little joy from the site, but I like being here so I stay, I admit I don't put a huge amount of effort in here so probably deserve nothing, I've had more luck chatting to women in local pubs, sadly mainly married though, not had the chance to get to club up here yet but I will |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"BM
The creation of intrigue… I like it.
BM? I don’t know the maths. "
Just mean Bookmarked. So I can come back to it.
The things I thought would be positive/necessary/attributable included
Positive attitude.
Few photos.
Contribute to forums.
Be reasonably likeable/ relatable.
What I actually needed to do was
Have a pulse.
There are maybe 3 people on here, each messaged me from the forums, who I actually thought yes you’re what this site needs more of. The attention in my inbox (largely) feels mostly synthetic, a bit insincere. And from time time I get some odd comments (Jody marsh). White knights telling me I should be myself (yeah I’ve got that one under control sweetie). I’m not really sure what guys think the attention they want actually is. In reality it’s puddle deep and not as affirmative as one might think.
Rant over. |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
I think some people make no effort and are told they need to make an effort, but people forget making an effort doesn't guarantee results.
Ultimately, some decent pictures, a well written profile and the ability to send a decent message and engage in conversation all help massively but it's no guarantee.
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
On here men have to usually make a lot more of an effort with their profiles than any woman does to entice people in. I know when I joined I'd a blank profile for a day and I hadn't set filters yet and I got a load of messages telling me I was the most amazing woman on here even tho I'd no pics of bio up. So women really can get away with no profile.
Men on the other hand do have to usually make an effort. I know when I get a message I look at a profile before I even answer and if there is nothing on it or it doesn't interest me chances are I won't reply to the message.
But I've also seen some men who have great profiles and especially people who post a lot on the forums and it's only when I have messaged them usually about something on the forums that we chat for a little while and they tell me they don't get many messages off here,while I had always thought that they would be inundated with messages and offers to meet.So it's no guarantee that even if a guy has the most amazing profile that he will meet off here but it will help tip the balance more in his favour than if he makes no effort at all. |
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"On here men have to usually make a lot more of an effort with their profiles than any woman does to entice people in. I know when I joined I'd a blank profile for a day and I hadn't set filters yet and I got a load of messages telling me I was the most amazing woman on here even tho I'd no pics of bio up. So women really can get away with no profile.
Men on the other hand do have to usually make an effort. I know when I get a message I look at a profile before I even answer and if there is nothing on it or it doesn't interest me chances are I won't reply to the message.
But I've also seen some men who have great profiles and especially people who post a lot on the forums and it's only when I have messaged them usually about something on the forums that we chat for a little while and they tell me they don't get many messages off here,while I had always thought that they would be inundated with messages and offers to meet.So it's no guarantee that even if a guy has the most amazing profile that he will meet off here but it will help tip the balance more in his favour than if he makes no effort at all."
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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago
Sent to Coventry |
I try to write a good profile with info about me and what I’m looking for. I also try to answer messages politely.
I like to see a similar amount of effort from others. An almost blank profile tells me the person can’t really be bothered. I’d rather spend my free time with someone who can be bothered. That’s it in a nutshell for me |
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"I try to write a good profile with info about me and what I’m looking for. I also try to answer messages politely.
I like to see a similar amount of effort from others. An almost blank profile tells me the person can’t really be bothered. I’d rather spend my free time with someone who can be bothered. That’s it in a nutshell for me "
Many guys do try but still don't get a reply....it is all based on that first message I think...
With my profile ive tried to go with humour...if it works happy days.... |
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"On here men have to usually make a lot more of an effort with their profiles than any woman does to entice people in. I know when I joined I'd a blank profile for a day and I hadn't set filters yet and I got a load of messages telling me I was the most amazing woman on here even tho I'd no pics of bio up. So women really can get away with no profile.
Men on the other hand do have to usually make an effort. I know when I get a message I look at a profile before I even answer and if there is nothing on it or it doesn't interest me chances are I won't reply to the message.
But I've also seen some men who have great profiles and especially people who post a lot on the forums and it's only when I have messaged them usually about something on the forums that we chat for a little while and they tell me they don't get many messages off here,while I had always thought that they would be inundated with messages and offers to meet.So it's no guarantee that even if a guy has the most amazing profile that he will meet off here but it will help tip the balance more in his favour than if he makes no effort at all."
I find that last paragraph so interesting
For women that think like that, he’s the reality
If a guy gets 1 message a month, he’s probably in the top 0.1% of guys on here. That’s how rare men get messages.
So if you see someone that takes your fancy, don’t think “oh he’s quite nice he probably has loads of message, I won’t both”.
Do bother. There’s an extremely high chance he gets zero messages, like the majority of men on here.
Id even be willing to bet that if you got the most popular, most messaged male profile, they still get less messages than any blank female profile |
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To me, it's not so much about the amount of effort, it's just having the good fortune of your profile being noticed and liked by the right person at the right time. Obviously that involves a certain amount of effort to have a profile to be noticed and liked, but it's very subjective, and you'll never please everyone that you hope to attract. My now partner changed his bio shortly after I first started chatting to him. Honestly, if he'd had the new write up when he first messaged me I'd have thought "what a dick", rolled my eyes, and deleted his message. But, other people liked the new version. |
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"On here men have to usually make a lot more of an effort with their profiles than any woman does to entice people in. I know when I joined I'd a blank profile for a day and I hadn't set filters yet and I got a load of messages telling me I was the most amazing woman on here even tho I'd no pics of bio up. So women really can get away with no profile.
Men on the other hand do have to usually make an effort. I know when I get a message I look at a profile before I even answer and if there is nothing on it or it doesn't interest me chances are I won't reply to the message.
But I've also seen some men who have great profiles and especially people who post a lot on the forums and it's only when I have messaged them usually about something on the forums that we chat for a little while and they tell me they don't get many messages off here,while I had always thought that they would be inundated with messages and offers to meet.So it's no guarantee that even if a guy has the most amazing profile that he will meet off here but it will help tip the balance more in his favour than if he makes no effort at all.
I find that last paragraph so interesting
For women that think like that, he’s the reality
If a guy gets 1 message a month, he’s probably in the top 0.1% of guys on here. That’s how rare men get messages.
So if you see someone that takes your fancy, don’t think “oh he’s quite nice he probably has loads of message, I won’t both”.
Do bother. There’s an extremely high chance he gets zero messages, like the majority of men on here.
Id even be willing to bet that if you got the most popular, most messaged male profile, they still get less messages than any blank female profile "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people don’t need to put any effort it
When I left and came back 10 minutes later smh stupid
0 pics up I got around 20-30 messages in the space off 2 minutes
Mind you I am still under the same name
So maybe people form before |
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"On here men have to usually make a lot more of an effort with their profiles than any woman does to entice people in. I know when I joined I'd a blank profile for a day and I hadn't set filters yet and I got a load of messages telling me I was the most amazing woman on here even tho I'd no pics of bio up. So women really can get away with no profile.
Men on the other hand do have to usually make an effort. I know when I get a message I look at a profile before I even answer and if there is nothing on it or it doesn't interest me chances are I won't reply to the message.
But I've also seen some men who have great profiles and especially people who post a lot on the forums and it's only when I have messaged them usually about something on the forums that we chat for a little while and they tell me they don't get many messages off here,while I had always thought that they would be inundated with messages and offers to meet.So it's no guarantee that even if a guy has the most amazing profile that he will meet off here but it will help tip the balance more in his favour than if he makes no effort at all.
I find that last paragraph so interesting
For women that think like that, he’s the reality
If a guy gets 1 message a month, he’s probably in the top 0.1% of guys on here. That’s how rare men get messages.
So if you see someone that takes your fancy, don’t think “oh he’s quite nice he probably has loads of message, I won’t both”.
Do bother. There’s an extremely high chance he gets zero messages, like the majority of men on here.
Id even be willing to bet that if you got the most popular, most messaged male profile, they still get less messages than any blank female profile "
I'm glad you broached this mate, as I thought similar. Very often in here, through messaging I have received "I bet you're having meets all the time" I do screenshots of my profile to show how many people have viewed me (or not).
I've also received "I didn't think I would be your type, I'm bigger than the ladies in your veris"...... 
Ladies, if you like the look of mine, or any other guy's profile, please just message x |
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"On here men have to usually make a lot more of an effort with their profiles than any woman does to entice people in. I know when I joined I'd a blank profile for a day and I hadn't set filters yet and I got a load of messages telling me I was the most amazing woman on here even tho I'd no pics of bio up. So women really can get away with no profile.
Men on the other hand do have to usually make an effort. I know when I get a message I look at a profile before I even answer and if there is nothing on it or it doesn't interest me chances are I won't reply to the message.
But I've also seen some men who have great profiles and especially people who post a lot on the forums and it's only when I have messaged them usually about something on the forums that we chat for a little while and they tell me they don't get many messages off here,while I had always thought that they would be inundated with messages and offers to meet.So it's no guarantee that even if a guy has the most amazing profile that he will meet off here but it will help tip the balance more in his favour than if he makes no effort at all.
I find that last paragraph so interesting
For women that think like that, he’s the reality
If a guy gets 1 message a month, he’s probably in the top 0.1% of guys on here. That’s how rare men get messages.
So if you see someone that takes your fancy, don’t think “oh he’s quite nice he probably has loads of message, I won’t both”.
Do bother. There’s an extremely high chance he gets zero messages, like the majority of men on here.
Id even be willing to bet that if you got the most popular, most messaged male profile, they still get less messages than any blank female profile "
I've had this numerous times and in one case have been accused of lying and told I was pretending to only get a few messages in order to make myself a more attractive prospect.
I average 1 message a month unless I add new pics when I might hit the heady heights of 2 in the same month but can often go for 3 months without a single message at all.
I asked the woman who accused me of lying, why she thought I was making it up or why she assumed I was inundated and her reply was that I was very popular in the Irish forums.
Apparently posting on a daily basis is classed as being popular. |
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"“You get out what you put in”. I’ve heard this said often when people have complained about not getting sexy sex within the first few weeks after joining fab.
But is it that simple?
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face?
The way I see it is, I get more out of it the more effort people put in. (Stay with me here)
Forums. It’s only fun when others are fun. Etc, does that make sense.
And seriously, and I’m only speculating, how much effort does a hot chic with a singles profile need to put in? (That’s not a dog by the way, just an observation from time in here)
This isn’t a negative post, just a conversation starter.
So what’s the formula to get maximum results? What do you need to do? "
The coefficient of vag to effort I think is covered by newton's third law. |
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"Others have created fab and forum personalities which when you scratch the surface have very little depth. "
•
Excuse me Mr Bítès, but when you scratch beneath my veneer you will need a sonar to find my erotic abyss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its utter bullshit"
when i did make effort i lost everything when i dont make effort people come to me
Any given sunday you either win or you lose regardless of effort made |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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effot will play a role but only a little one ...
nobody can escape the real reason why so many guys get nowhere on here and its the main reasom men find it hard == other men and lots and lots of other men if true there are between 100 to 200 men per woman on here then simple maths will tell you your chances are very slim add in to that that many womens / couples profiles are men/just men then the numbers are even higher |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on here a few times over the years with both a single guy and TV profile and had little to no success. My profile had a decent description and multiple photos but generated no interest, messages or replies. My female friend joined and her profile contained one photo and a profile description that just said "fill in later" and the messages rolled in.
The reality is swinging sites are no different from dating sites where the interest will mainly be a one way street and 99% of men will fail. Personally, I gave up trying to meet people long ago as it's too soul destroying being knocked back time and time again and feel better for it. |
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I used to be a relatively hot chick with a fabulous profile.
Effort needed to get fucked? Nil. Simply breathe.
Effort needed to meet those I actually found interesting and wanted to meet. A fair bit.
Plenty of trudging.
Plenty of between the line reading.
Plenty of red flag lookie outie.
Plenty of second guessing.
Most carefree way I found was at a club. And that requires small efforts like making yourself presentable, travel and expenses.
So yeah, being a bird on here could be fantastic as far as getting meets goes.... if you have no preference or personal standards, desires or whatnot. If all you want is dick in fanny and you don't care who's you're gonna be living it large. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"effot will play a role but only a little one ...
nobody can escape the real reason why so many guys get nowhere on here and its the main reasom men find it hard == other men and lots and lots of other men if true there are between 100 to 200 men per woman on here then simple maths will tell you your chances are very slim add in to that that many womens / couples profiles are men/just men then the numbers are even higher"
also guys keep getting told get involved on the forums .. i really dont get this at all the forums is the least likely place to find a meet its a tiny tiny section of fab of which most dont meet anyway most admit openly they are only here for the chats and online friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the same in the fetish/BDSM world. Men get told to go to a munch rather than use a fetish site but when you do you're made to feel unwelcome by the majority who are there. Just like swinging the fetish scene evolves around women as virtually everyone wants them which is just the nature of things. For most men It's like playing a game of poker where you can only play the hand you've been dealt but most of the time it's the losing one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My profile is dire, so zero effort there.
I forget to reply to messages, so zero effort there too.
I've come to the conclusion I'm lazy and I'm ok with that |
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I think you're right, Woody.
If we're talking meets, which is where is see this offered as advice most often, there is no guarantee that just because you've spent hours, days, weeks crafting your profile or X amount of time chatting to X number of people that you'll have any "luck". If that was the case no-one would ever complain as it would just be a matter of time. And equally, someone (guys) with a one word profile and 75 dick pics might get loads of meets, so I don't think theres is any formula - it's all an art not a science.
So I think the "effort in, results out" is a bit misleading. For me the "be yourself, don't take anything too seriously, go with the flow" approach is the only way to go...
(Disclaimer: but my way to go doesn't lead to as many boobs in my face as I would perhaps like, so no-one should take my advice. Or women could send me more boobs, I'm happy either way) |
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"effot will play a role but only a little one ...
nobody can escape the real reason why so many guys get nowhere on here and its the main reasom men find it hard == other men and lots and lots of other men if true there are between 100 to 200 men per woman on here then simple maths will tell you your chances are very slim add in to that that many womens / couples profiles are men/just men then the numbers are even higher
also guys keep getting told get involved on the forums .. i really dont get this at all the forums is the least likely place to find a meet its a tiny tiny section of fab of which most dont meet anyway most admit openly they are only here for the chats and online friends"
times 100 |
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"effot will play a role but only a little one ...
nobody can escape the real reason why so many guys get nowhere on here and its the main reasom men find it hard == other men and lots and lots of other men if true there are between 100 to 200 men per woman on here then simple maths will tell you your chances are very slim add in to that that many womens / couples profiles are men/just men then the numbers are even higher
also guys keep getting told get involved on the forums .. i really dont get this at all the forums is the least likely place to find a meet its a tiny tiny section of fab of which most dont meet anyway most admit openly they are only here for the chats and online friends"
In the 10 years I've been using Fab, I've met two women through the forum, and those were 121 meets, not any of the organised socials. Not saying that's a great average, but it can happen, even though, as you say, most in the forums are there only to chat shit |
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There are so many variables. Very easy for some to say get to clubs and socials.
There are no full time clubs in Ireland at all. The couple that do exist are only open one or two nights a month and are by invitation only.
The few socials I've been to are populated by ladies who lunch and 70% of attendees are single women and less than 10% single men.
If you don't already have an "in" you need to have a giant set of balls to approach a table with 15-20 women.
I use the forum as an additional filter because it often outs those little darlings who can't maintain their carefully coiffured profiles. |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"It's the same in the fetish/BDSM world. Men get told to go to a munch rather than use a fetish site but when you do you're made to feel unwelcome by the majority who are there. Just like swinging the fetish scene evolves around women as virtually everyone wants them which is just the nature of things. For most men It's like playing a game of poker where you can only play the hand you've been dealt but most of the time it's the losing one!"
I can't comment on events elsewhere but that's really not my experience of events in London or local to me in Hertfordshire.
Yes a single woman will always get more attention. And yes they can appear cliquey because people are friendly, but if people make an effort, let the organiser know when are new and don't know anyone people are welcomed, it not by all then by most and certainly not made to feel unwelcome |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
Putting the effort in doesnt always guarantee success but you have more chance than not putting in any effort ..that being said its got to be the correct effort ...just randomly messaging (bombarding) will drastically reduce your chances ..its got to be controlled and personal to the person you have your eye on ... as for women ..alot do put in effort ive found and they still get alot more arseholes and timewasters than us guys get so we are all in the same boat really |
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"“You get out what you put in”. I’ve heard this said often when people have complained about not getting sexy sex within the first few weeks after joining fab.
But is it that simple?
So if I put loads of effort into my profile and loads of effort trying to talk to others, do I get loads of boobs in my face?
The way I see it is, I get more out of it the more effort people put in. (Stay with me here)
Forums. It’s only fun when others are fun. Etc, does that make sense.
And seriously, and I’m only speculating, how much effort does a hot chic with a singles profile need to put in? (That’s not a dog by the way, just an observation from time in here)
This isn’t a negative post, just a conversation starter.
So what’s the formula to get maximum results? What do you need to do? "
Great question OP. I get loads of messages, but rarely are they of the quality or content I'd like and will respond to. Clearly those senders of messages will go to some degree of effort to send me the message but it's always very clear when they've not looked at my profile, so very few receive a positive reply from me.
I've had much more of a positive outcome when I've spent time in the forum and got to know a bit about people here before I contact them (I rarely message anyone from outside the forum now), so I'm definitely of the opinion that effort needs to be focussed where it's going to achieve maximum outcome! |
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Nope it's not that simple at all. However it's a great place to start. Effort (especially directed wisely) is always going to increase your chances. And it's something that everyone can put in to help their chances. But there are many other factors that add or subtract from what your putting in. Some of these factors can be worked on some are just what the are. Whatever your circumstances and other factors your chances will increase if you put the work in. But there are not gaurentees of success however hard you try. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Putting effort into Fab is a minimum standard for a single man, not a guarantee of anything.
No, a single woman doesn't have to put in as much effort to get interest. That's just the difference between the sexes. That may suck for the men on here but it's life. Get over it. Women have their own issues on here. Just because they can get sex easily, it doesn't mean it would be with men they want to have sex with. "
This ^^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can’t reply to you all but some really good (witty and honest) answers.
So the resulting formulas are.
Females : need cock = little effort
Need good cock = focused effort
Males : need boobs in face = ALL the effort and time
That’s about right isn’t it? |
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"I can’t reply to you all but some really good (witty and honest) answers.
So the resulting formulas are.
Females : need cock = little effort
Need good cock = focused effort
Males : need boobs in face = ALL the effort and time
That’s about right isn’t it? "
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