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Dont you just hate it when...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never have this problem, my loo is quite close to the window so I just use the curtain  "
Jeez, we have venetian blinds... guess, I could use them as scrapers! |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Never have this problem, my loo is quite close to the window so I just use the curtain
Jeez, we have venetian blinds... guess, I could use them as scrapers!"
How do you make a venetian blind?
Poke his eyes out 
I'll get me coat... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"... you are wiping your bum, and your finger goes through the toilet paper 
Which hand do you use? Left or right?"
right hand... with paper twixt butt and hand.
I have not fell for that one since I was 4! |
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"... you are wiping your bum, and your finger goes through the toilet paper "
I know a bloke who broke his finger wiping his arse.
There was only a couple of sheets left, so not much finger padding, lol.
Anyway, his finger went through and he got some poo on his finger, so he tried to shake it off. In doing so, he hit the sink with his finger and broke his fookin' finger, lol.
It gets better...
His finger is hurting like mad so he puts it in his gob to sooth it.
He starts to boak, bends forward and hit his head on the fookin' hand drier.
Goes in for a shit, breaks his finger, and cuts his brow.
I've told this story a few times, but there's a lot of newbies who haven't heard it |
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"... you are wiping your bum, and your finger goes through the toilet paper
I know a bloke who broke his finger wiping his arse.
There was only a couple of sheets left, so not much finger padding, lol.
Anyway, his finger went through and he got some poo on his finger, so he tried to shake it off. In doing so, he hit the sink with his finger and broke his fookin' finger, lol.
It gets better...
His finger is hurting like mad so he puts it in his gob to sooth it.
He starts to boak, bends forward and hit his head on the fookin' hand drier.
Goes in for a shit, breaks his finger, and cuts his brow.
I've told this story a few times, but there's a lot of newbies who haven't heard it "
hahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"... you are wiping your bum, and your finger goes through the toilet paper
I know a bloke who broke his finger wiping his arse.
There was only a couple of sheets left, so not much finger padding, lol.
Anyway, his finger went through and he got some poo on his finger, so he tried to shake it off. In doing so, he hit the sink with his finger and broke his fookin' finger, lol.
It gets better...
His finger is hurting like mad so he puts it in his gob to sooth it.
He starts to boak, bends forward and hit his head on the fookin' hand drier.
Goes in for a shit, breaks his finger, and cuts his brow.
I've told this story a few times, but there's a lot of newbies who haven't heard it "
Thats quality. Jack mate, you do make I laugh! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... you are wiping your bum, and your finger goes through the toilet paper
I know a bloke who broke his finger wiping his arse.
There was only a couple of sheets left, so not much finger padding, lol.
Anyway, his finger went through and he got some poo on his finger, so he tried to shake it off. In doing so, he hit the sink with his finger and broke his fookin' finger, lol.
It gets better...
His finger is hurting like mad so he puts it in his gob to sooth it.
He starts to boak, bends forward and hit his head on the fookin' hand drier.
Goes in for a shit, breaks his finger, and cuts his brow.
I've told this story a few times, but there's a lot of newbies who haven't heard it
Thats quality. Jack mate, you do make I laugh! "
Tish and pish, laughing at someone who injured himself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... you are wiping your bum, and your finger goes through the toilet paper
I know a bloke who broke his finger wiping his arse.
There was only a couple of sheets left, so not much finger padding, lol.
Anyway, his finger went through and he got some poo on his finger, so he tried to shake it off. In doing so, he hit the sink with his finger and broke his fookin' finger, lol.
It gets better...
His finger is hurting like mad so he puts it in his gob to sooth it.
He starts to boak, bends forward and hit his head on the fookin' hand drier.
Goes in for a shit, breaks his finger, and cuts his brow.
I've told this story a few times, but there's a lot of newbies who haven't heard it "
That's a shit story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When we're low on toilet paper I use Siren's toothbrush but ssshhh don't tell her. 
Dunno why she puts up with you! "
I got a monster cock. What more does a woman need? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I buy the cheaper stuff not tracing paper though but I find the dearer Andrex and other quality paper block the loo up and was fed up of getting the plunger out x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I got a monster cock.
Like Godzilla? Green, scaly and needs a nuclear bomb to wake it up? "
Almost. Although the way one woman grappled with it a few years back she could have been King Kong.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hate it when..............nevermind.   "
Go on, what were you gonna say? Was it the one about the dwarf, the moulinex MultiChef and the jar of tartare sauce? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I got a monster cock.
Like Godzilla? Green, scaly and needs a nuclear bomb to wake it up?
Almost. Although the way one woman grappled with it a few years back she could have been King Kong. "
you into hirsuit women mate? |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I hate it when..............nevermind.
Go on, what were you gonna say? Was it the one about the dwarf, the moulinex MultiChef and the jar of tartare sauce?"
i think it may have been Hendersons Relish......  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hate it when..............nevermind.
Go on, what were you gonna say? Was it the one about the dwarf, the moulinex MultiChef and the jar of tartare sauce?i think it may have been Hendersons Relish...... "
Is that like Gentlemans Relish?  |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I hate it when..............nevermind.
Go on, what were you gonna say? Was it the one about the dwarf, the moulinex MultiChef and the jar of tartare sauce?i think it may have been Hendersons Relish......
Is that like Gentlemans Relish? "
Theres nowt gentlemanly bout it tha knows |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I got a monster cock.
Like Godzilla? Green, scaly and needs a nuclear bomb to wake it up?
Almost. Although the way one woman grappled with it a few years back she could have been King Kong.
you into hirsuit women mate?"
I've mentioned to Siren a few times about letting it all grow au naturelle but I'm still trying to decipher her response, which was in broad Geordie and I just know there was a 'fook' and a 'man' in there somewhere. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
I hate it when...people invade my personal space...grrrrrr
I hate it when dog owners dont pick up their dogs poo poo.
I hate it when im feeling crap.
I hate it when i drop a raw egg on the kitchen floor, its a bitch to get up.
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