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Boundaries/relationships/sex
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Hi,
I’ve just had an interesting conversation with someone who is on this site, actively participates, but has stated clearly that they “wouldn’t want a relationship with a woman who has 30+ verifications and has been shared amongst loads of men”… they are more than happy to meet said woman and fuck her though…
What are your thoughts on this?
Personally I wonder what the difference is between meeting people on a night out, having one-night stand and then starting a relationship with them, to meeting people through this site? It’s just sex isn’t it?
In addition, why is it acceptable to be on here enjoying everything the lifestyle has to give, but then say that you wouldn’t want to be with someone who does/has done the same?
Are the boundaries and expectations blurred? Surely part of a positive relationship is being open and honest with one another, both historically and moving forward?
I’m really baffled by it..  |
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"Smacks of insecurity to me and is a red flag ..
Fuck who you want until you decide to forsake all others for the one you want to keep to yourself ..
Ignore it and keep on fuckin "
haha thankfully it wasn’t about me, he was talking about someone who he had been dating and then found out was on here- exactly like him!!!  Lol |
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You can get 30+ verifications in one social without so much as snogging someone.
It really does sound like a bad take, maybe as much as some self-reflection needed on that for people who think that way.
 |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Hi,
I’ve just had an interesting conversation with someone who is on this site, actively participates, but has stated clearly that they “wouldn’t want a relationship with a woman who has 30+ verifications and has been shared amongst loads of men”… they are more than happy to meet said woman and fuck her though…
What are your thoughts on this?
Personally I wonder what the difference is between meeting people on a night out, having one-night stand and then starting a relationship with them, to meeting people through this site? It’s just sex isn’t it?
In addition, why is it acceptable to be on here enjoying everything the lifestyle has to give, but then say that you wouldn’t want to be with someone who does/has done the same?
Are the boundaries and expectations blurred? Surely part of a positive relationship is being open and honest with one another, both historically and moving forward?
I’m really baffled by it.. "
My thoughts on this?
If I were a woman I'd tell them that they're not relationship material because they're actively pursuing casual sex with promiscuous women on an Internet sex site, and therefore aren't suitable for a 'proper'relationship.
Of course I don't actually believe that for a second. But when people say things such as this guy it's actually a really useful guide as to their character and a great filter for who to avoid.
So many single people don't understand the dynamics of 'swinging' whether uou do it as a couple or a single pringle. If you're judgemental about someone who's interacting with others on a website in exactly the same way you hope to, then you're just a hypocritical muppet.
I met Fox on Fab. I couldn't care less how many meets she'd had before me, what she'd done in her personal life off-site and the though of her being with someone else now is not a concern in the slightest.
Any expression of this opinion would be a major red flag, an instant block and a hope that they get viewed exactly the same way by anyone who they may actually deem suitable for a relationship, and told to jog on.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion and criteria for pair bonding.
Hypocritical, potentially, parochial, perhaps.
The reality is that the criterion for meeting someone here for fun, is going to be vastly different to that which helps you decide if this is someone you might want to spend the rest of your life with, as it's a far more complex scenario. Ground breaking stuff I know, later, I'll be discussing why deep heat makes a poor emergency lubricant.
Ultimately, their choices are their's, smile and nod at the contradiction and carry on as usual. |
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"I think the reality is that for many people, when it comes to starting a potential new relationship, they don't really want to know all the ins and outs of the others sexual past "
very true. I suppose I just wonder why the person can’t accept it as a part of someone’s past, just like theirs, and move forward. The joys of fab!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't have a relationship with someone who has 30+ veris either. They are a type of person that I'm not compatible with.
Fucking someone is clearly not the same as having a relationship with them.
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In my experience when it works it works. To be honest on paper Mrs Misfit was not the relationship material I was looking for. We met on here, not look for a relationship. I soon realised how awesome she was and how all that check list I had didn't matter at all. Turns out she was made for me and my priorities where all wrong. Life is amazing and I wouldn't have this life if I had stuck to my prejudices.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the reality is that for many people, when it comes to starting a potential new relationship, they don't really want to know all the ins and outs of the others sexual past very true. I suppose I just wonder why the person can’t accept it as a part of someone’s past, just like theirs, and move forward. The joys of fab! "
Would you have a relationship with a 25 year old who fucked women at bareback gangbangs every week for the last 3 years? |
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"I think the reality is that for many people, when it comes to starting a potential new relationship, they don't really want to know all the ins and outs of the others sexual past very true. I suppose I just wonder why the person can’t accept it as a part of someone’s past, just like theirs, and move forward. The joys of fab!
Would you have a relationship with a 25 year old who fucked women at bareback gangbangs every week for the last 3 years? "
I don’t know is the answer to that. I suppose I’d have more of an issue with his age and the fact it’s bare back more than anything else… however I also don’t meet people off site for one night stands or hook up with guys on nights out. Better the devil you know? |
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"In my experience when it works it works. To be honest on paper Mrs Misfit was not the relationship material I was looking for. We met on here, not look for a relationship. I soon realised how awesome she was and how all that check list I had didn't matter at all. Turns out she was made for me and my priorities where all wrong. Life is amazing and I wouldn't have this life if I had stuck to my prejudices.
Mr"
awww how lovely x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the reality is that for many people, when it comes to starting a potential new relationship, they don't really want to know all the ins and outs of the others sexual past very true. I suppose I just wonder why the person can’t accept it as a part of someone’s past, just like theirs, and move forward. The joys of fab!
Would you have a relationship with a 25 year old who fucked women at bareback gangbangs every week for the last 3 years? I don’t know is the answer to that. I suppose I’d have more of an issue with his age and the fact it’s bare back more than anything else… however I also don’t meet people off site for one night stands or hook up with guys on nights out. Better the devil you know? "
Some people are compatible and some aren't.  x |
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"I think the reality is that for many people, when it comes to starting a potential new relationship, they don't really want to know all the ins and outs of the others sexual past very true. I suppose I just wonder why the person can’t accept it as a part of someone’s past, just like theirs, and move forward. The joys of fab!
Would you have a relationship with a 25 year old who fucked women at bareback gangbangs every week for the last 3 years? I don’t know is the answer to that. I suppose I’d have more of an issue with his age and the fact it’s bare back more than anything else… however I also don’t meet people off site for one night stands or hook up with guys on nights out. Better the devil you know?
Some people are compatible and some aren't. x"
indeed, hence why I’m asking as I found it intriguing… always good to learn others views and perspectives |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I had a guy say something something similar to me one time when we met for a coffee. He said he'd never date a woman off here as they aren't dating material because they are on here.I wasn't interested in dating him so that wasn't why I had an issue with what he said. It was more he thought women on here were somehow below women who aren't on here. When I turned it on him and asked well what makes him dateable as he was also on here he didn't seem to understand the point I was making. You can't really sit on the high horse judging others when you are doing the same thing yourself. That irony seems to escape a few on here though.
There are some men who will think that way and probably some women too.Personally I don't understand that mentality as you could meet someone who isn't on here who has slept with a hell of a lot more people but you just don't know they did.And quite a lot of veris are socials as well and even if they aren't so what. If you aren't interested then just move on to others who suit what you are looking for. |
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Lots of men have that double standard with regard to the sexual background of their girlfriend or wife.
It’s quite staggering the number of guys who, when I organise a bukkake meet, desperately want to join in and yet also express surprise that my partner “lets” me do it because they wouldn’t let their wife be “slutty”.
I mean they’ll cheat on her, they’ll fuck around as much as they want, and they’ll fuck women they view as “slutty” but they wouldn’t “let” their woman do so.
It’s a very telling attitude. |
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We have pretty regular conversations where a guy just wants to meet Flik and doesn't want to share her, or comments like "if Flik was my partner I wouldn't share her with anyone" . When we point out this is pretty fundamental in the swinging world and open relationships there's an obvious total lack of understanding. I think it boils down to I'm here for a shag while I'm single, I'll close the account while I'm in a relationship, I'll be back again when we break up and I need a shag again. |
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"We have pretty regular conversations where a guy just wants to meet Flik and doesn't want to share her, or comments like "if Flik was my partner I wouldn't share her with anyone" . When we point out this is pretty fundamental in the swinging world and open relationships there's an obvious total lack of understanding. I think it boils down to I'm here for a shag while I'm single, I'll close the account while I'm in a relationship, I'll be back again when we break up and I need a shag again."
yes I think so too- pretty anti swinging really.  |
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"Lots of men have that double standard with regard to the sexual background of their girlfriend or wife.
It’s quite staggering the number of guys who, when I organise a bukkake meet, desperately want to join in and yet also express surprise that my partner “lets” me do it because they wouldn’t let their wife be “slutty”.
I mean they’ll cheat on her, they’ll fuck around as much as they want, and they’ll fuck women they view as “slutty” but they wouldn’t “let” their woman do so.
It’s a very telling attitude."
it’s baffling isn’t it?! People’s moral compass always amazes me! |
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"I had a guy say something something similar to me one time when we met for a coffee. He said he'd never date a woman off here as they aren't dating material because they are on here.I wasn't interested in dating him so that wasn't why I had an issue with what he said. It was more he thought women on here were somehow below women who aren't on here. When I turned it on him and asked well what makes him dateable as he was also on here he didn't seem to understand the point I was making. You can't really sit on the high horse judging others when you are doing the same thing yourself. That irony seems to escape a few on here though.
There are some men who will think that way and probably some women too.Personally I don't understand that mentality as you could meet someone who isn't on here who has slept with a hell of a lot more people but you just don't know they did.And quite a lot of veris are socials as well and even if they aren't so what. If you aren't interested then just move on to others who suit what you are looking for. "
I totally agree. Just because there’s no verification, doesn’t mean it isn’t happening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As much as the reasoning in a bit hypocritical I think everyone is entitled to have preferences and look for certain things when looking for a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Years ago in the dark ages before the internet, my ex wife and her friend would go out on a Friday night, get picked up by guys and have sex with them in the car. She would arrive home flushed with the sexual action and her pussy full of semen which I would happily clean out of her.
If you are going to have sex with other women, you should be more than happy to have your partner do the same.
But, it has always been easier for a female than a guy. In 5 years (not every week I add) she only came home once without having been fucked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people love to imagine the can handle any situation as in the mite say the will love a lady who’s had 30+ or more but that’s because the sat behind a keyboard or there phone it’s easy to say stuff but to do it is different how many people on here have actually met anyone the numbers are no we’re near what the should be considering we’re all on an adult site for some reason but lmfao I bet if he had a 12 inches he wud be happy to atleast he knows he is hitting the spot I know size dnt matter to women but men hate the thought of been the smallest dicker partners ever had even if it’s not ye thought can turn a hard an soft lol |
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I couldn't give a shit what somebody's sexual history is. I (Luke) have had sex with more people than my other half Hannah. If it was the other way round I wouldn't care, just as my sexual history isn't an issue with her. We know quite a lot of detail about what each other has done in the past. We are right for each other and we both want to make this work. That is all that matters. |
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He should not be on here. He obviously looks down on experienced ladies and that is insulting.
For me, one of the greatest threats, is the Islamic promise of 72 virgins!! Hell no!!
I view a lady with multiple experiences very desirable indeed. |
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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago
trouble most likely, or creating it :) |
"I think it's massively hypocritical ,especially when they're willing to share someone else's partner.
I've seen men say similar in threads before ."
its a common thought process... in fact I'm single partly because of that thought process.. ( not as simple as that )
I am me and I'm happy at that x |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"I think it's massively hypocritical ,especially when they're willing to share someone else's partner.
I've seen men say similar in threads before . its a common thought process... in fact I'm single partly because of that thought process.. ( not as simple as that )
I am me and I'm happy at that x"
And lovely you are too x |
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It's always far easier to accept our own behaviour than that of others. How many couples are there on here with an imbalance between what each partner is happy with the other doing?
How many couples are there where one gets jealous of behavoir from their partner that they see nothing wrong in doing themselves? How many couples on here have had a convo where one has complained about the others behavoir at a meet/in a club etc despite doing the exact same thing?
Mr
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's massively hypocritical ,especially when they're willing to share someone else's partner.
I've seen men say similar in threads before ."
Sharing someone else's partner is very different to sharing your own.
Some people just aren't into sharing. Doesn't necessarily mean they look down on it.
Cuckquean is a thing. |
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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago
Worcestershire |
"I think the reality is that for many people, when it comes to starting a potential new relationship, they don't really want to know all the ins and outs of the others sexual past "
Exactly this
When you meet someone, especially in later life, you have to accept that they have a past.
You either have to discuss every detail of this and then live with potential jealousy. Or you draw some boundaries. There are somethings that perhaps can't be ignored such as children |
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