 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hello all
I have posted this question on support and advice but I think I might be better asking here.
I had been hoping to find a regular male fb with previous club experience who would like to escort me. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened as yet. So, I thought, get myself some confidence and go myself. I was thinking of trying new paradise as ny first club as its closest to me and I don't think you have to be a member.
What should I expect as a newbie single lady at a club?
Helpful advice appreciated. Thank you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
not been to that particular club but i have always found chams to be a very pleasant experience when i have been on my own in the past.
Just remember you can say no and they must respect that. tell the staff its your first time and i am sure they will look after you! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"not been to that particular club but i have always found chams to be a very pleasant experience when i have been on my own in the past.
Just remember you can say no and they must respect that. tell the staff its your first time and i am sure they will look after you!"
Thank you. Do you go on your own?x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How about attending a FAB social event that is held at a club first?
This way, you can get to know peeps that are attending in advance, exchange face pics if possible beforehand, so that you know at least some people when you get there?
That's what happened with my first club attendance.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How about attending a FAB social event that is held at a club first?
This way, you can get to know peeps that are attending in advance, exchange face pics if possible beforehand, so that you know at least some people when you get there?
That's what happened with my first club attendance.
"
I'm very limited with my time due to being a single parent, so when I do get a chance to go I would like to play if possible x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm a regular single lady at Cupids in Manchester. What I'd say is don't drink, don't be afraid to say no thanks and enjoy yourself!
Send me a PM if you want to have a private chat about it, I go 2/3 times a week and have been doing for nearly a year.
Ruby |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"sometimes people drink too much through nerves, relax and as Eve says, you are in control so No means NO
have fun"
I would be driving so wouldn't be able to have a drink although I know I would bloody love to have one!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *xodussxMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
"How about attending a FAB social event that is held at a club first?
This way, you can get to know peeps that are attending in advance, exchange face pics if possible beforehand, so that you know at least some people when you get there?
That's what happened with my first club attendance.
"
. Best option.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"sometimes people drink too much through nerves, relax and as Eve says, you are in control so No means NO
have fun
I would be driving so wouldn't be able to have a drink although I know I would bloody love to have one!!"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Or find a female buddy of fabs to go with x
this is a good point, first time i went a lady off here took me under her wing which was nice.
also have a friend i used to go up with a lot"
If 2 females go, will men assume that you play together? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can still play if the social is held at a swingers club, many do.
How do I find out about a social meet?"
.
Check out the Meetings and Events forums, that's where they are usually posted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *xodussxMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
"Or find a female buddy of fabs to go with x
this is a good point, first time i went a lady off here took me under her wing which was nice.
also have a friend i used to go up with a lot
If 2 females go, will men assume that you play together?"
. No we won't
But it is nice to go with someone female or male at your first time
I can go with you if you want  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or find a female buddy of fabs to go with x
this is a good point, first time i went a lady off here took me under her wing which was nice.
also have a friend i used to go up with a lot
If 2 females go, will men assume that you play together?"
i wouldnt have thought so....they might wish you did but thats another matter lol
you really will be fine on your own or with a female friend |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not at all just go as friends and make sure the guys know the score. Used to go chams with my best friend real good girly night but could never watch eah other have sex lol just too weird lol x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm a regular at my local club and more often than not it's by myself.
Just remember that no means no, no question, no argument, no debate - but it cuts both ways! Just as no-one can invade your body then you have no right to invade anyone elses! Which means no groping, no matter how cute the buns. 
If anyone does touch you uninvited there are a variety of ways to deal with it. The most effective are all a variant on one - calmly draw attention to the fact that they have overstepped the mark, do it in a clear voice and remember, the only person to have any shame is the one who did the shameful thing.
If anyone is making you feel uncomfortable then having a chat with a staff member can help - they could just be shy but very attracted to you and loitering till they get their nerve up. But equally, they could be a pest.
People who socialise also get to play. If you are a people watcher you'll soon see the truth of this. If you don't know how to start conversations begin with "I'm nervous, it's my first time and I came alone". Or a simple compliment - how often do we look at other women and think "I like her shoes, I wonder where she got them?" Well here's your chance to find out. 
And if all else fails head to smokers corner even if you don't smoke. 
Consider not playing on your first visit . It will take some of the nerves away and give you an opportunity to watch and also to decide what your person rules might be when you do play.
Of course you can't guarantee play, it all depends on who else it there and what you're in the mood for. But some of my best nights at clubs haven't had any play! Lots of laughs and new friends though.
If you would like to play then simply ask if someone would like to join you. If they say no, don't take it personally and don't hold a grudge - a guy may have just been busy and be concerned about his recovery time. Or you might not be his cup of tea.
And if you are playing and would quite like to join in with others who are playing in the same room and gentle touch on a non-sexual area will indicate interest - a shoulder, arm or lower leg. Again if you get a head shake the don't get mardy.
And if you look up and someone catches your eye then simply beckon them in.
A drink or possibly two can relax you. But more than that may be unwise. Do you really want to make decisions under the influence? Do you want to play with someone who is not in control? Does a possible partner want to have to decide if you are sober enough to make good choices?
Above all relax, make new friends and enjoy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
