FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Give me one good reason why you are not a stripper
Give me one good reason why you are not a stripper
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because no one would pay to see this lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't dance for shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit |
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L could give you a few good reasons why she is  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I'm fat and I can't dance  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My dodgy elbow means I can't use a scraper properly.  |
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"My dodgy elbow means I can't use a scraper properly. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I would be a shite stripper |
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By *ister CMan
over a year ago
liverpool |
Because I make more by keeping the clothes on...
When that balance changes I'll get my sequin thong out... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've stripped before. Some bars and clubs used to pay $25 for amateurs to take a turn on the pole. 3 minute dance easy money when you have fuck all. Would be a packed out house too.
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I'm not a great dancer, would be really embarrassed and dislike being the centre of attention. |
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"I'm not a great dancer, would be really embarrassed and dislike being the centre of attention. "
I will put you in the chippendales  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My man tits aren’t perky enough. |
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"My man tits aren’t perky enough."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Old, fat and ugly.
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beg to differ you look great hun .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 10/07/22 18:16:58] |
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"I'm not a great dancer, would be really embarrassed and dislike being the centre of attention. I will put you in the chippendales "
I loved the Rescue Rangers! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I’m fat!_ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I’d be so awkward doing it  |
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Nobody wants to pay to see my truffle
Shuffle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Old, ugly, small cock, fat arse. I'm sure I will think of more presently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They sacked me for being too good, the other girls weren't getting enough attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just skipped the starter fase and went straight to am porn  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I would be a shite stripper"
That sounds like a terrible job. Even if you have no sense of smell. |
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The only money I’d make is people paying me to keep my clothes on lol |
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The schools careers advisor inexplicably forgot to suggest it  |
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I’m short, a fat heffa, ugly and couldn’t dance if my life depended on it! I’d have to pay people to watch me, and that’d cost too much!! |
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Nobody looks at me for free, they certainly won't pay I'm sure!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sweet Jesus |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C is K"
Not a bad lager. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I like the mental stimulation my current job provides. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mother told me to never ever take my string vest off, or I’d catch a chill |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't like wearing clothes  |
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Couldn't get stripper shoes to fit my weird ass feet.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couldn't get stripper shoes to fit my weird ass feet.....
"
Ass feet are very difficult to measure. |
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The great British public is just not ready for this jelly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couldn't get stripper shoes to fit my weird ass feet.....
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Ass feet? Do you live near Torness? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll get naked for free if asked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They get paid. |
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I used to be a stripper.....of wall paper..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I can’t imagine anyone wanting to watch me strip. Unless it was part of my comedy act I’m working on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I'd hate seeing lots of people looking at me. I'd cover my eyes with my hands and refuse to move until everyone left, just like I did aged 4 playing the Evil Witch in Snow White at playschool. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Because I'd hate seeing lots of people looking at me. I'd cover my eyes with my hands and refuse to move until everyone left, just like I did aged 4 playing the Evil Witch in Snow White at playschool."
Why are you/your posts so adorable?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wouldnt be able to walk in strippers heels! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I'd hate seeing lots of people looking at me. I'd cover my eyes with my hands and refuse to move until everyone left, just like I did aged 4 playing the Evil Witch in Snow White at playschool.
Why are you/your posts so adorable? "
 I think it's only you who interprets me that way!  |
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I strip every night, but unfortunately there's nobody there to throw pound coins at me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m 57 dad bod
Still never stopped the full monty |
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I don't have the tits, arse or legs for it.
However the tits are getting there...
Winston
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Far far too lazy  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I don't have the tits, arse or legs for it.
However the tits are getting there...
Winston
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I'd make it rain for you Winston, don't worry about not having the arse for it. |
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I'd fall over trying to get socks off! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My age |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gravity it's all heading downwards |
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By *ingo00Man
over a year ago
Cowley |
I don't even like seeing myself undressed |
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Dad bod and about as sexy as Mr Bean |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
Why I'm NOT a stripper?
...I'm sorry I don't understand the question |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Because I need to give other guys a chance  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m fat, I have 2 left and I’m too old |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
Nobody would pay good money to see me naked |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Because the only place I can dance well is in my head the reality is far from sexy And I have wobbly bits too that jiggle when they shouldn't |
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"I don't have the tits, arse or legs for it.
However the tits are getting there...
Winston
I'd make it rain for you Winston, don't worry about not having the arse for it."
For you Meli....... I'll shave my legs.
Winston |
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"Can't dance in heels"
You'd "love" Tango.
Walking backwards, like you're on a balance beam, one foot behind the other, wearing heels.......
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got fat and stopped getting d*unk meaning i kept my clothes on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't even strip wallpaper. People would pay good money for me to keep my clothes on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d make everyone strip. Don’t see why I should be the only one. |
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By *ndisMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Because I dance like I've had my feet broken by Annie Wilkes! |
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Because its meant to be entertaining and erotic not a horror show
Tg |
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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago
Market Harborough / Kettering |
Because it's meant to be physically attractive and titillating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm clumsy af ..although I've been complimented on my lap dancing abilities ..the latter is also why I don't mix Monster and vodka anymore.....limited recollection |
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Because I can't dance, I can't talk...the only thing about me is the way I walk. |
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"Because I can't dance, I can't talk...the only thing about me is the way I walk."
You just standing there selling everything? |
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"Because I can't dance, I can't talk...the only thing about me is the way I walk.
You just standing there selling everything? "
Quite. Any offers on a well-worn pair of Calvin Klein boxers? |
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Coz i wouldn't want to work those hours  |
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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago
Norfolk East anglia |
Mum bod no one wants to pay to see that stripping |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I can't dance, I can't talk...the only thing about me is the way I walk."
good words. Love Genesis
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
People who pay for strippers tend to have eyesight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mum bod no one wants to pay to see that stripping "
think you'll find ppl would pay good money to watch. You're very attractive xxx
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"Mum bod no one wants to pay to see that stripping
think you'll find ppl would pay good money to watch. You're very attractive xxx"
^^^^^^^ smooooooooth.
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dance worse than your dad |
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"I haven't got the body for it"
I would disagree there you have a great body |
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Can't be bothered to shave my legs every day for work and they don't half pull on the pole. |
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There have been enough injuries from women passing out due to seeing my magnificent torso. It would only make the situation worse. Luke |
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Have you ever unwrapped a Gregg's sausage roll after leaving it in your back pocket and sat down driving on a hot day for ten hours?
Yeah like that, but hey you still might |
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"Have you ever unwrapped a Gregg's sausage roll after leaving it in your back pocket and sat down driving on a hot day for ten hours?
Yeah like that, but hey you still might "
You can get cream for that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I start naked so nothing to strip. |
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I prefer to paint over it. It's easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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PE |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m fat and a terrible dancer lol |
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No one wants to give me my first break. Just gimme a chance!
Bx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because when I take my bra off I’d knock out the front row as my boobs dropped x |
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"Have you ever unwrapped a Gregg's sausage roll after leaving it in your back pocket and sat down driving on a hot day for ten hours?
Yeah like that, but hey you still might
You can get cream for that. "
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
Because I tried burlesque and I've got zero natural rhythm or grace. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was no pension scheme on offer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im too fat |
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"Mum bod no one wants to pay to see that stripping "
It’s the absolute desire of a lot of us gents curves and a few jiggles |
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"Im too fat"
@pineapplejuice no you are not!!!!!! |
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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago
Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K. |
"Why I'm NOT a stripper?
...I'm sorry I don't understand the question "
... |
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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago
Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K. |
Nobody wants to see my impression of Bambi on ice in stripper shoes. I would end up with 2 broken ankles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nobody would be paying attention to me and my "Fabulous" moves.. probably cause they would have suffered heart attacks |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I've stripped before. Some bars and clubs used to pay $25 for amateurs to take a turn on the pole. 3 minute dance easy money when you have fuck all. Would be a packed out house too.
"
It’s a bit different now, dancers I know pay the clubs to dance there and can £600 on a good night.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like being naked, but I'd feel weird dancing for the crowd and would probably get erect from nerves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm fat and I can't dance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't got the body or face for it.
T |
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I'd have to pay for people to watch lol |
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Can’t think of one… career change pending.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be giving out refunds rather than making money
NBVN x |
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"I'd be giving out refunds rather than making money
NBVN x"
Pretty much the same.....only nobody would pay in the first instance with me lol |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
My Nat Ins contributions would be higher than my wage.
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love to dance but would instantly hate it if it was my job! Also the actual effort of being polite to Joe public, I couldn't hack it |
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Because I'm fat and saggy and I'd have to do it seated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“admirers" aka stalkers |
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I can give plenty.
Old, unfit, insecure, lazy, can't dance, and I'd probably piss myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll get naked for free |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I’d swing my tits and take out the light fittings. I’m a health and safety nightmare! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Far too many wobbly bits plus I can't dance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you seen me on a pole |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I can't bend down to pick the clothes back up |
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Dad dancing is not sexually attractive, save your cash. In fact I would have to pay you |
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Because my milkshake would not bring all the boys to the yard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mate sold her pole |
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Still struggling to find an appropriate theme tune |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
Because non of my underwear match. Don’t think granny knickers and mismatched bras would be suitable stripper wear. |
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I am fat and have tits like a woman |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
Because the ladies would be unable to keep their hands to themselves and im not a piece of meat  |
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Can think of loads but will go with just not sexy enough |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I can't stand up and get undressed without falling over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cover up with sweeties |
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"Can think of loads but will go with just not sexy enough "
You definitely are sexy enough lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because ..."I don't think you're ready for this jelly" |
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"I can't dance for shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"
This....
Sweet xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because my milkshake would not bring all the boys to the yard "
You are kidding right? I would pay to see your milkshake
NBVN x |
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By *oingMan
over a year ago
co. antrim |
A complete lack of coordination |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
Cock to big
Swinging it round all day when give me back ache haha |
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"Because my milkshake would not bring all the boys to the yard
You are kidding right? I would pay to see your milkshake
NBVN x"
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I take my clothes of too quick! |
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"I can't stand up and get undressed without falling over."
https://youtu.be/P7HBhjCMhbE
Winston |
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Keep tripping over my toe nails lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have to fold my clothes up when I take them off. Not sure ppl pay money to watch a nearly 50 yo man do origami with his pants and shirt. |
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Cause I have shit tits and spiders legs everywhere |
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"Have to fold my clothes up when I take them off. Not sure ppl pay money to watch a nearly 50 yo man do origami with his pants and shirt. "
Internet, rule 34 |
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I did it once and that was it for a dare for myself. I was so scared minutes before, I relaxed more when I had done the strip and was naked. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm to lazy |
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"Because I'm fat and saggy and I'd have to do it seated. "
You could always do it seated on my lap... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Average cock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ain't nobody wanna see this shaking his ass |
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