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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm stood on my sofa. There's a massive spider. Enormous. Dogs just looking at me because I'm screaming. Cat normally eats them but he's scared I think. Nothing to throw at it  "
Blow on it… it’ll run a mile |
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"I'm stood on my sofa. There's a massive spider. Enormous. Dogs just looking at me because I'm screaming. Cat normally eats them but he's scared I think. Nothing to throw at it
Blow on it… it’ll run a mile"
I'm not going near it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm stood on my sofa. There's a massive spider. Enormous. Dogs just looking at me because I'm screaming. Cat normally eats them but he's scared I think. Nothing to throw at it "
I'm exactly the same, but as I now live alone I have to find some balls and deal with it myself as quick as possible ... there is no way I'm going to sleep with it running around. I trap it with a glass, slide a piece of card underneath and take it to the bottom of the garden 
Good luck x |
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If it can't be glassed and removed then your remaining options are to hoover it up (which you shouldn't do because that's mean) or to have a calm and reasoned talk with the spider detailing how that part of the house is now theirs as long as they promise not to move around too much. Thus beginning a joyous co-habitation between you and our arachnid brethren |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Deep breaths it's far more scared of you. Mind control it doesn't bite or sting. Go and get a glass to put over it. You will be fine. Keep telling yourself it's tiny compared to me .you can do it. Make yourself proud xxx good luck xxx |
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"I'm stood on my sofa. There's a massive spider. Enormous. Dogs just looking at me because I'm screaming. Cat normally eats them but he's scared I think. Nothing to throw at it
I'm exactly the same, but as I now live alone I have to find some balls and deal with it myself as quick as possible ... there is no way I'm going to sleep with it running around. I trap it with a glass, slide a piece of card underneath and take it to the bottom of the garden
Good luck x"
Finally someone that understands. Glass would be an option. Unfortunately it's between me and the kitchen. It's cunning |
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"If it can't be glassed and removed then your remaining options are to hoover it up (which you shouldn't do because that's mean) or to have a calm and reasoned talk with the spider detailing how that part of the house is now theirs as long as they promise not to move around too much. Thus beginning a joyous co-habitation between you and our arachnid brethren "
Jesus send me what you've been drinking please. It may ease the pain and suffering  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once had a huge spider in the doorway of the bathroom, dropped a large heavy book it and left it there a couple days, walking over it each time going in and out of the bathroom, when I finally picked the book up expecting to see a dead spider, it got up and ran away  |
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"Checked out you profile....sorry. Can't tell if you are shaved? If you have a big hairy minge....waft it near spider....he will think he is about to be an horderve, and scamper!
Problem solved.
 "
Never thought I'd be an horderve to a spider. I'm going to chuck a shoe at you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm stood on my sofa. There's a massive spider. Enormous. Dogs just looking at me because I'm screaming. Cat normally eats them but he's scared I think. Nothing to throw at it "
cup it once in a cup put a heavy object on top so it can't run away and then hope for the best |
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"Once had a huge spider in the doorway of the bathroom, dropped a large heavy book it and left it there a couple days, walking over it each time going in and out of the bathroom, when I finally picked the book up expecting to see a dead spider, it got up and ran away "
Sneaky huge bastards |
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"If it can't be glassed and removed then your remaining options are to hoover it up (which you shouldn't do because that's mean) or to have a calm and reasoned talk with the spider detailing how that part of the house is now theirs as long as they promise not to move around too much. Thus beginning a joyous co-habitation between you and our arachnid brethren
Jesus send me what you've been drinking please. It may ease the pain and suffering "
A crate of beer is on it's way and inbound, prepare to feel pretty good about life  |
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"If it can't be glassed and removed then your remaining options are to hoover it up (which you shouldn't do because that's mean) or to have a calm and reasoned talk with the spider detailing how that part of the house is now theirs as long as they promise not to move around too much. Thus beginning a joyous co-habitation between you and our arachnid brethren
Jesus send me what you've been drinking please. It may ease the pain and suffering
A crate of beer is on it's way and inbound, prepare to feel pretty good about life "
Thanks chuck. I'll share it with the spider I've now named Eric |
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"If it can't be glassed and removed then your remaining options are to hoover it up (which you shouldn't do because that's mean) or to have a calm and reasoned talk with the spider detailing how that part of the house is now theirs as long as they promise not to move around too much. Thus beginning a joyous co-habitation between you and our arachnid brethren
Jesus send me what you've been drinking please. It may ease the pain and suffering
A crate of beer is on it's way and inbound, prepare to feel pretty good about life
Thanks chuck. I'll share it with the spider I've now named Eric "
Well this sounds like the start of a wonderful relationship, I've no doubt the two of you will be firm friends before the evening is through, you'll laugh about how awkward you both were when you first met |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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not wishing to cause any panic, but in a recent article in the Mirror there are 14 species of UK spider whose bite is strong enough to piece a human skin. The worst is the False Widow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I survived the night. I'm giving the animals away. Totally useless "
Good to hear you're ok. Did you manage to get any sleep or were you on spider watch all night (that's often what I end up doing  ) |
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"Well I survived the night. I'm giving the animals away. Totally useless
Good to hear you're ok. Did you manage to get any sleep or were you on spider watch all night (that's often what I end up doing )"
Lost it around 3. Took dog with me to the toilet 3 times just in case |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Jesus! For goodness sake woman...
Just put yer big girl knickers on put a glass over it & a piece of card, bill, flyer or whatever, slide it underneath & transport the critter out.
After thought - if yer got a phobia (some people do), get yer next door neighbour (if they are obliging - can't say much about mine....), friend, relative to handle the situation.
You could hit it with yer stilettos but I got this image in my head of you with shoes in the wall or door frame... lol so squishing it is out.
Open a window & see if it gets the message. If in doubt take the Buddhist approach!!
I have lots of hedges in me garden so to find "Harry The spider" crawling across the carpet is not surprising to me. Massive things they are. It's like "The Thing" re-make.
Am I putting you off yet? LOL.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get yourself one of those fishing nets for catching tiddlers. You should be able to reach with the long bamboo handle, whilst you stand on the couch.
Sounds like one of the Viz help "
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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
"I'm stood on my sofa. There's a massive spider. Enormous. Dogs just looking at me because I'm screaming. Cat normally eats them but he's scared I think. Nothing to throw at it "
Charge it rent |
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, spider assassin cats.
