FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > My wife thinks other men won't like her because of a c section scar?
My wife thinks other men won't like her because of a c section scar?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've told her that's far from the truth. She's still has a good figure size 12. Men like imperfections am I wrong ?"
....and I wouldn't call it an imperfection. Without mine I wouldn't have my babies. I can't think of a more perfect reminder. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've told her that's far from the truth. She's still has a good figure size 12. Men like imperfections am I wrong ?
....and I wouldn't call it an imperfection. Without mine I wouldn't have my babies. I can't think of a more perfect reminder."
I adore her the way she is . Her scar is neat to she's even shy of showing me it most of the time. She's beautiful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I completely understand how she feels. I felt so self conscious about mine that I sat for 8 hours getting a tattoo to cover it. I still don’t like anyone touching it now and it’s 14 years old. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I completely understand how she feels. I felt so self conscious about mine that I sat for 8 hours getting a tattoo to cover it. I still don’t like anyone touching it now and it’s 14 years old. "
That's a shame you should embrace your beauty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If that's the case then I am doomed as I have scars from my abdomin right up the centre of my torso to my breast bone and right across my pelvis from hip to hip.
I would like to correct you OP as scars are not imperfections... I am a perfect version of me and just have scars 
NBVN x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If that's the case then I am doomed as I have scars from my abdomin right up the centre of my torso to my breast bone and right across my pelvis from hip to hip.
I would like to correct you OP as scars are not imperfections... I am a perfect version of me and just have scars
NBVN x"
Yeah that's what I meant embrace your beauty!! No1 is perfect . I have a scar across my chest from heart surgery |
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It's taken me a while but I'm learning that, when as a woman I meet a guy, he may have hang ups like a scare here or a wobbly but there. I know when we get down to it that's the last thing I would or probably never notice. I only see the good things. Thise things may be liking a a bit of wobbly or freckles maybe even a scar. Ladies do we really notice whatever they are embarrassed or self conscious about? I know I don't as I'm too busy having a ( hopefully) good time. I've always had my wobbly belly which is why I have a huge collection of outfits and lingerie because when wearing it if feel more confident and to hide what I think are the worst parts of my body. I used to never take it off but a few guys have taken it off me as wanted to see me naked, something I'd never even entertain the idea of few years ago, if course I wouldt of let do if I didn't want to, but when I did, I started to realise that what I deem as wrost parts of me they either liked or didn't even notice as too busy with what they loved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's taken me a while but I'm learning that, when as a woman I meet a guy, he may have hang ups like a scare here or a wobbly but there. I know when we get down to it that's the last thing I would or probably never notice. I only see the good things. Thise things may be liking a a bit of wobbly or freckles maybe even a scar. Ladies do we really notice whatever they are embarrassed or self conscious about? I know I don't as I'm too busy having a ( hopefully) good time. I've always had my wobbly belly which is why I have a huge collection of outfits and lingerie because when wearing it if feel more confident and to hide what I think are the worst parts of my body. I used to never take it off but a few guys have taken it off me as wanted to see me naked, something I'd never even entertain the idea of few years ago, if course I wouldt of let do if I didn't want to, but when I did, I started to realise that what I deem as wrost parts of me they either liked or didn't even notice as too busy with what they loved. "
I’m sure that’s true to an extent, maybe the guy doesn’t notice but my issue is how I feel about it. I don’t like the look of it, in fact, I’d go as far as to say that I hate it. He might not notice it but I sure do. That’s the problem  |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
Every scar has a story behind it...I find that very intriguing. I don't think a scar makes a person attractive or unattractive though...some wear their scars with pride, others choose to cover them with a tatto as part of the healing process (emotional healing rather than physical) ...both are valid in my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People seem to forget that the body is just wrapping paper. Like a present the wrapping can be shiny and glittery with lots of ribbons and bows but what's inside can be from poundland. It's worth remembering that diamonds are traded wrapped in brown paper packages , it what's on the inside that really matters |
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If anyone expects an unmarked human body they are always going to be disappointed!
We all have various marks left by the events of our lives. They are like bookmarks for particular memories.
The more you have the more interesting your life has been!
;-) |
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"It's taken me a while but I'm learning that, when as a woman I meet a guy, he may have hang ups like a scare here or a wobbly but there. I know when we get down to it that's the last thing I would or probably never notice. I only see the good things. Thise things may be liking a a bit of wobbly or freckles maybe even a scar. Ladies do we really notice whatever they are embarrassed or self conscious about? I know I don't as I'm too busy having a ( hopefully) good time. I've always had my wobbly belly which is why I have a huge collection of outfits and lingerie because when wearing it if feel more confident and to hide what I think are the worst parts of my body. I used to never take it off but a few guys have taken it off me as wanted to see me naked, something I'd never even entertain the idea of few years ago, if course I wouldt of let do if I didn't want to, but when I did, I started to realise that what I deem as wrost parts of me they either liked or didn't even notice as too busy with what they loved.
I’m sure that’s true to an extent, maybe the guy doesn’t notice but my issue is how I feel about it. I don’t like the look of it, in fact, I’d go as far as to say that I hate it. He might not notice it but I sure do. That’s the problem "
I totally understand that. Meets wise, there are ways you can hide it by dressing up/down if your really conscious and to the point it stops you from meeting. That's great for that but I understand it will always be there. There's not much you can do about it physically but there is help for you mentally wise. There sre people who can offer help that way. I don't know how long ago you had the c section but it can be a side effect or symptom of or even the trigger for postnatal depression which you may not even know you have. I'm not saying that's the case with yourself. It is very common though for you to feel how you do. I think there are even some online support groups. People telling you jot to worry, and I like I said they won't think about it, but that won't change how you feel about yourself. You need to help you. Understand why you feel this way and your insecurities about it. There are people out there that can help with that. I really hope you reach out and find a way to wee through it x |
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I've stretch marks and quite a few scars, they do make me a bit self conscious but I can say not 1 person has mentioned or been put of by them.
We are our own worst critics, maybe make a couple's profile, post a pic of her get her a bit of a confidence boost, I must admit our fab pics have definitely helped me in that department.
Mrs |
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Scars have never bothered me the only time I’ll mention them is to ask if they are particularly sensetive. I had a FWB who had a heart transplant and her scar could be quite sensitive so had to be careful around it but the aesthetic of the scar was never an issue.
She should set up a profile and see just how popular she will be! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have 3 c-section scars one above the other.
After using tons of Bio Oil which was recommended to me by the actual surgeon at the time, my scars are now just white/silvery lines. They have no redness left to them at all so they are barely noticeable unless you really look for them.
I highly recommend it if you want to try something to help with the appearance of them. |
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden |
"If anyone expects an unmarked human body they are always going to be disappointed!
We all have various marks left by the events of our lives. They are like bookmarks for particular memories.
The more you have the more interesting your life has been!
;-)"
Some of those marks aren't visible. The emotional, mental scars for instance. |
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I didn't know this was a thing, people being self conscious about their c-section scar, or likewise, anyone being bothered about it. Thousands and thousands of women have a c-section scar. I have one and I don't think most blokes even notice it. |
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Scars and stretch marks whether from child birth or something else are all earned in the hardest possible way, they're like tiger stripes and the sign of a real women, men like real women.
I dont class scars as an imperfection at all, but on the subject of imperfections, i for one find most imperfections sexy, they differentiate us from each other.
Charles Darwin wrote that without imperfections evolution would be impossible, if it wasn't for imperfections then we would all still be pond slime |
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I struggle to imagine any guy having a problem with scars. These marks are part of you, they are the signs of a life lived and colour the beautiful tapestry of your body in stories and memories.
From my perspective she has absolutely nothing to worry about.
And if anybody truly had a problem with it, well that's their problem and their loss |
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In all honesty the vast majority of men that have gotten farcenough to see a c section scar wouldn't be bothered in the slightest....(if things get THAT far, the "hairy brain" takes over and all we can think about is burying our cock in whichever orifice presents itself) |
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I worried about this and stretch marks and my weight/belly etc especially in the immediate aftermath of my divorce. I was talking to my (then) only divorcee friend and she said basically as above that if things have reached that stage they don’t care
Took me ages to feel confident enough to get imtimate with someone new (as a couple of pps have said it’s the mental as much as the physical) partly as ex had really knocked my confidence both by his actions (cheating - with someone much younger, slimmer etc) and by his comments both immediately prior to and after our split (“who’d want you?” “You’ve let yourself go” “nobody wants to fuck that” etc) yes he was a delight 
I found fab in a roundabout way to meet a need but honestly I love this community it’s really boosted my confidence not just people possibly interested in meeting or fabbing pics (and I am most definitely not hot pics material!) but also discussions on the forum where so many forumites are good enough to share their thoughts and advice on such things.
I agree that it really isn’t something that puts people off, I have c section, surgery and accident scars, I’m “peely Wally” even WITH a fake tan, and I have stretch marks too. The scars and stretch marks are proof that despite what my body and I have been through we not only survived (and it was touch and go at points!) but also managed to produce an amazing healthy now fully grown child.
But yes if it is a major issue some therapy and some disguising techniques can help.
I love my lingerie for making me feel sexy but it’s also super useful for covering up parts I’m less than confident about for at least the first sexy meet.
I sincerely hope she doesn’t feel this way for much longer.
She isn’t alone in either having the scar or feeling self conscious about it but the latter needn’t continue |
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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
Everyone has imperfections, things they don't like about themselves. She shouldn't be afraid to show it. Besides, these things are always more noticeable to ourselves than others because we focus on them too much x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just going to say this for everyone! MEN DONT CARE ABOUT STRETCH MARKS, bring that tiger stripe body over here "
I couldn’t care less what men think of my body but I do care very much care what I think.
If a man referred to my stretch marks as tiger stripes, I’d be off (even though I’m sure he was trying to be nice), I really hate that phrase but I’m aware that’s just my opinion and lots use it themselves.
I hate my scar, don’t care if guys don’t mind or not - I hate it myself.
Sometimes woman’s hang ups don’t have anything to do with what men think, it’s your own thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just going to say this for everyone! MEN DONT CARE ABOUT STRETCH MARKS, bring that tiger stripe body over here
I couldn’t care less what men think of my body but I do care very much care what I think.
If a man referred to my stretch marks as tiger stripes, I’d be off (even though I’m sure he was trying to be nice), I really hate that phrase but I’m aware that’s just my opinion and lots use it themselves.
I hate my scar, don’t care if guys don’t mind or not - I hate it myself.
Sometimes woman’s hang ups don’t have anything to do with what men think, it’s your own thoughts."
This was kind of the response I first thought of but then I realised the OP specifically says she thinks men won't like her because of her scars.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just going to say this for everyone! MEN DONT CARE ABOUT STRETCH MARKS, bring that tiger stripe body over here
I couldn’t care less what men think of my body but I do care very much care what I think.
If a man referred to my stretch marks as tiger stripes, I’d be off (even though I’m sure he was trying to be nice), I really hate that phrase but I’m aware that’s just my opinion and lots use it themselves.
I hate my scar, don’t care if guys don’t mind or not - I hate it myself.
Sometimes woman’s hang ups don’t have anything to do with what men think, it’s your own thoughts.
This was kind of the response I first thought of but then I realised the OP specifically says she thinks men won't like her because of her scars.
Mr"
True, wondered why there was such a focus on what guys think of it.
Ah well, another perspective.
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"I've told her that's far from the truth. She's still has a good figure size 12. Men like imperfections am I wrong ?
....and I wouldn't call it an imperfection. Without mine I wouldn't have my babies. I can't think of a more perfect reminder."
...............................
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just going to say this for everyone! MEN DONT CARE ABOUT STRETCH MARKS, bring that tiger stripe body over here
I couldn’t care less what men think of my body but I do care very much care what I think.
If a man referred to my stretch marks as tiger stripes, I’d be off (even though I’m sure he was trying to be nice), I really hate that phrase but I’m aware that’s just my opinion and lots use it themselves.
I hate my scar, don’t care if guys don’t mind or not - I hate it myself.
Sometimes woman’s hang ups don’t have anything to do with what men think, it’s your own thoughts.
This was kind of the response I first thought of but then I realised the OP specifically says she thinks men won't like her because of her scars.
Mr
True, wondered why there was such a focus on what guys think of it.
Ah well, another perspective.
"
I suspect you're right though, thinking other people will consider you ugly is a pretty good sign that you think the same. And trying to change that midset by being convinced that others don't see you that way is (in my opinion) going to be a lot less successful than learning not to see yourself like that.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just going to say this for everyone! MEN DONT CARE ABOUT STRETCH MARKS, bring that tiger stripe body over here
I couldn’t care less what men think of my body but I do care very much care what I think.
If a man referred to my stretch marks as tiger stripes, I’d be off (even though I’m sure he was trying to be nice), I really hate that phrase but I’m aware that’s just my opinion and lots use it themselves.
I hate my scar, don’t care if guys don’t mind or not - I hate it myself.
Sometimes woman’s hang ups don’t have anything to do with what men think, it’s your own thoughts.
This was kind of the response I first thought of but then I realised the OP specifically says she thinks men won't like her because of her scars.
Mr
True, wondered why there was such a focus on what guys think of it.
Ah well, another perspective.
I suspect you're right though, thinking other people will consider you ugly is a pretty good sign that you think the same. And trying to change that midset by being convinced that others don't see you that way is (in my opinion) going to be a lot less successful than learning not to see yourself like that.
Mr"
It’s impossible for others to convince you of otherwise. It wouldn’t matter how many people were positive about my scar, I’d still be self conscious about it and hate it massively. In fact, people commenting on it, even positively would really make me uncomfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Presumably as a swinger she just wants casual sex encounters..frankly there are plenty of ugly people on here, scars or no scars. Not to be too crude its cunt the guys are after. He certainly need not be concerned. I'll volunteer to help her get her confidence back lol.. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Presumably as a swinger she just wants casual sex encounters..frankly there are plenty of ugly people on here, scars or no scars. Not to be too crude its cunt the guys are after. He certainly need not be concerned. I'll volunteer to help her get her confidence back lol.. "
Your outlook is heinous.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Presumably as a swinger she just wants casual sex encounters..frankly there are plenty of ugly people on here, scars or no scars. Not to be too crude its cunt the guys are after. He certainly need not be concerned. I'll volunteer to help her get her confidence back lol.. "
You’ll be inundated with offers after that. |
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"Presumably as a swinger she just wants casual sex encounters..frankly there are plenty of ugly people on here, scars or no scars. Not to be too crude its cunt the guys are after. He certainly need not be concerned. I'll volunteer to help her get her confidence back lol.. "
You really are something aren’t you! Women are not peices of meat ! |
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"Presumably as a swinger she just wants casual sex encounters..frankly there are plenty of ugly people on here, scars or no scars. Not to be too crude its cunt the guys are after. He certainly need not be concerned. I'll volunteer to help her get her confidence back lol..
You really are something aren’t you! Women are not peices of meat ! "
To be fair the op has said elsewhere that his wife doesn't care what a guy looks like she's only interested in his cock. |
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"Presumably as a swinger she just wants casual sex encounters..frankly there are plenty of ugly people on here, scars or no scars. Not to be too crude its cunt the guys are after. He certainly need not be concerned. I'll volunteer to help her get her confidence back lol.. "
With a comment like that...I doubt she would accept your offer  |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Presumably as a swinger she just wants casual sex encounters..frankly there are plenty of ugly people on here, scars or no scars. Not to be too crude its cunt the guys are after. He certainly need not be concerned. I'll volunteer to help her get her confidence back lol..
You really are something aren’t you! Women are not peices of meat !
To be fair the op has said elsewhere that his wife doesn't care what a guy looks like she's only interested in his cock."
..Single guy chats.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I Get it, we are our own worst critic, and our hang ups multiply and compound our insecurities. Her c section scar is another woman’s thigh cellulite is a man’s beer belly, inability to grow a beard, broken nose or whatever. It’s part of the story of her body, which has done some amazing things, things men cannot comprehend. There’s a
Forumite in here with a whopping C scar, I won’t mention who but it’s out there for all to see, and it makes as much difference to her attractiveness as if she has pierced ears or not (which, I can’t even recall, so that’s how important it is), she’s hot, just happens to have a large scar. I hope she can gain the confidence to accept it, that’s harder than finding a guy who will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is that shallow to let scares blemishes put them of then they are not worth your time , ... rant over sorry will leave now "
Is it shallow to have an insecurity? Have you none? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is that shallow to let scares blemishes put them of then they are not worth your time , ... rant over sorry will leave now
Is it shallow to have an insecurity? Have you none?"
I’d say it’s shallow to dismiss someone because of a scar, not to be conscious of your own.
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No-one we've met has ever said a word about my c-section scar. Whether they don't notice it, or simply don't care about it I don't know.
If the OPs wife is concerned what people would think, perhaps mention it on the profile, so anyone who dislikes scars can stay away. Or if she's feeling up to it, put a picture up where you can see it. I have one where the scar is very visible that has over 1100 fabs. So I guess it doesn't scare off everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Presumably as a swinger she just wants casual sex encounters..frankly there are plenty of ugly people on here, scars or no scars. Not to be too crude its cunt the guys are after. He certainly need not be concerned. I'll volunteer to help her get her confidence back lol..
You really are something aren’t you! Women are not peices of meat !
To be fair the op has said elsewhere that his wife doesn't care what a guy looks like she's only interested in his cock."
Stop being reasonable. You know the rules. You cannot criticise anything about a woman's looks, preferences (unless they display racism) or sexual choices. On the other hand men must be 6' tall with a 6 - 7" penis and display proper respect and only fuck women with whom they have an intellectual connection
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find scars quite attractive my ex girlfriend had a big burn scar on her chest she was very concerned about it before we was ever intimate but honestly I liked it, I found it attractive she had the confidence to show me and it boosted hers too, |
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She really ought not worry.
For me it is all about how someone is and not anything like a scar that they have, though I do appreciate a lady can be apprehensive about such things.
If a lady is all smiles and bubbly and gives me a hug and a kiss I'll like her.
If She is cold, She could be the most beautiful and flawless though no chemistry so pointless!
So smile and be happy and bubbly and give someone a big hug and kiss and if they don't respond similarly, they are not worth bothering with anyway and their loss!
Big hug and kiss - Robert xxxx |
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Maybe thats not the issue OP now forgive me for inter thread weaving but your perception that swinging is just for sex could be.
Maybe there is an underlying fear for her that runs more into why you both want to meet/swing.
Does she feel like she is enough? |
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