 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Is it the general consensus amongst swingers & formites that riding on the back of a bear can be seriously dangerous to your health?
I've heard that you can get some horribe side effects from doing so - such as being eaten.
Advice much appreciated.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Bears can swim, run and climb trees, how can you escape them?
Nobody has lived to tell what they do if they catch you when they're hell bent on shagging you!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it the general consensus amongst swingers & formites that riding on the back of a bear can be seriously dangerous to your health?
I've heard that you can get some horribe side effects from doing so - such as being eaten.
Advice much appreciated.
"
If you're going to delve into the dark fetish of 'bearbacking' - can I stongly suggest you ease yourself in gently.
Try Bungle from Rainbow for starters. Or Gentle Ben.
Less likely to rip off your head and paly football with it!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are we talking brown bear, Polar bear, or koala........cos i think koala's are so cute, but i wouldnt ride one  "
Hmmm, well black bears are the tree climbers, brown bears are the big, strong, eaty bastards and little koalas are smelly marsupials.
Attenborough, D |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes its not advisable to ride bear back,the possibility of being eaten is certainly high,unless the bears name is rupert,he seems a good chap!Paddington looks a bit iffy though...."
A bear that wears a duffle coat and a strange hat that hangs out at train stations, pervert!!...I mean, no comment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you're going to delve into the dark fetish of 'bearbacking' - can I stongly suggest you ease yourself in gently.
Try Bungle from Rainbow for starters"
Good advice if you don't mind Bungle playing with your twanger  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've heard bearback can be risky, the general advice seems to be if your gonna do it always take protection. Shin pads, helmet, shotgun "
Hmmm, those items would appear to be the bear necessities. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Of course the right person for the job just has to be Bear Grylls!!  "
Come on Zen, we're not talking about fictional bears like Grylls. Such a vivid imagiantion.
No, we're talking about bona fide specimens such as Rupert, Paddington, Baloo, Yogi, Winnie the Pooh, Biffo, Boo-Boo, Fozzy, Superted and Sooty.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Spent a lot of my uni time in the canadian rockies at salmon rivers so I saw a lot of bear ... 
One thing we were given were Bear Flares ... Like a pencil flare ... supposed to fire them at the bears, and scare them off ...
Apart from the risk of setting off wild fires, and crisping yourself.
Apparently they just pissed off the bears, and made them madder ... All in all not a good idea !  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"One thing we were given were Bear Flares ... "
Seriously, I am not having that. Bears haven't worn flares in 35 years and production of them with four legs ceased in the early 80's.
Bears complained that bell bottoms really got heavy when wet after wading into rivers.
Honestly - some people come up with some real nonsense on here.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One thing we were given were Bear Flares ...
Seriously, I am not having that. Bears haven't worn flares in 35 years and production of them with four legs ceased in the early 80's.
Bears complained that bell bottoms really got heavy when wet after wading into rivers.
Honestly - some people come up with some real nonsense on here.
"
Stop. Seriously. I'm crying!   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it the general consensus amongst swingers & formites that riding on the back of a bear can be seriously dangerous to your health?
I've heard that you can get some horribe side effects from doing so - such as being eaten.
Advice much appreciated.
"
Not a chance I'd take a bear on...I saw the John West advert! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"One thing we were given were Bear Flares ...
Seriously, I am not having that. Bears haven't worn flares in 35 years and production of them with four legs ceased in the early 80's.
Bears complained that bell bottoms really got heavy when wet after wading into rivers.
Honestly - some people come up with some real nonsense on here.
Stop. Seriously. I'm crying! "
Sorry Obi, I had to put him straight - it was a bear-faced lie. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One thing we were given were Bear Flares ...
Seriously, I am not having that. Bears haven't worn flares in 35 years and production of them with four legs ceased in the early 80's.
Bears complained that bell bottoms really got heavy when wet after wading into rivers.
Honestly - some people come up with some real nonsense on here.
Stop. Seriously. I'm crying!
Sorry Obi, I had to put him straight - it was a bear-faced lie."
I need a drink and a ciggie!
I just can't bear any more!!   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is it the general consensus amongst swingers & formites that riding on the back of a bear can be seriously dangerous to your health?
I've heard that you can get some horribe side effects from doing so - such as being eaten.
Advice much appreciated.
If you're going to delve into the dark fetish of 'bearbacking' - can I stongly suggest you ease yourself in gently.
Try Bungle from Rainbow for starters. Or Gentle Ben.
Less likely to rip off your head and paly football with it! "
No yogi's mate bobo for me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ive got a silver back i ride regularly does that count?
It bears no resemblance to the creatures we're talking about, now stop aping about MQ.
This one does it looks like a bear"
A gorilla that looks like a bear? Are you trying to make a monkey out of me? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Quote fron the us constitution" Every American has the right to bear arms!
poor bloody bears going around with just stunps  "
Paw bloody bears even. Or should that be bloody paw bears? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you're going to delve into the dark fetish of 'bearbacking' - can I stongly suggest you ease yourself in gently.
Try Bungle from Rainbow for starters
Good advice if you don't mind Bungle playing with your twanger "
Or bouncing your balls |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Quote fron the us constitution" Every American has the right to bear arms!
poor bloody bears going around with just stunps
Paw bloody bears even. Or should that be bloody paw bears?"
I'd be bloody grizzly if some yank came and took my arms?
Not that i'm saying I want bearbacking!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just be careful if you get approached by 3 together.....I had a nasty encounter once...they called themselves The Hair Bear Bunch.......mind I hear the ones to go for are the Care Bears..!!x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've never liked Bungle, he's an irritating gay git.
If the bears are standing upright then you have to ride them piggy back style and I'm not sure if it could support me for very long. If I was going to bear back then it would have to be with a bear on all fours |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've never liked Bungle, he's an irritating gay git.
If the bears are standing upright then you have to ride them piggy back style and I'm not sure if it could support me for very long. If I was going to bear back then it would have to be with a bear on all fours "
Or an ewok? They're kind of bear-ish!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just be careful if you get approached by 3 together.....I had a nasty encounter once...they called themselves The Hair Bear Bunch.......mind I hear the ones to go for are the Care Bears..!!x
"
Funnily enough, this happened to me too except in this case they were after my porridge |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ayseanMan
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Yes its not advisable to ride bear back,the possibility of being eaten is certainly high,unless the bears name is rupert,he seems a good chap!Paddington looks a bit iffy though....
A bear that wears a duffle coat and a strange hat that hangs out at train stations, pervert!!...I mean, no comment."
that paddington is 1 shifty looking bear......hey no 1 has mentioned the care bears,they were such jolly bears with so much love to give lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it better to bear-back or to have a bear behind?
If your bear behind is getting bear backed - I guess the only thing to do is grin and bear it!
As long as it's not painful... "
You'll be fine! Hey - you might even get lucky and get Huggy Bear! He's apparently a real sweetie and loves a cuddle after smashing your back doors in !! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Of course the one bear you really should be taking precautions with is superted!
His best mate wasn't known as 'spotty' til after he'd been bummed senseless!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"Is it the general consensus amongst swingers & formites that riding on the back of a bear can be seriously dangerous to your health?
I've heard that you can get some horribe side effects from doing so - such as being eaten.
Advice much appreciated.
"
Riding on the back of any wild animal holds a risk!
If you really that worried about it...Use protection!!!!!
Id suggest a hunting rifle on all meets but make sure you not firing blanks!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have just realised..... We should be talking about a different bear entirely.
PUDSEY!!!
"
He tried bear backing me once!!
Forced him off by poking a stick in his eye!
Think he still has trouble with it now, many years later!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"PUDSEY!!!
He tried bear backing me once!!
Forced him off by poking a stick in his eye!
Think he still has trouble with it now, many years later!! "
Jeeeeeeez, when will these revelations about BBC stars end? Saville, Starr, Lee-Travis and now Pudsey.
One of the more noticeable things surrounding the scandal is how lots of people have said something like "Saville - there was alwasys something dodgy about him".
But actually, when you think about Pudsey.... the fixed grin, the link to children, the charitable work concealing sinister motives, the visits to childrens' hospitals. And now we discover that he lost an eye to Obi through his behaviour.
I always knew it.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"PUDSEY!!!
He tried bear backing me once!!
Forced him off by poking a stick in his eye!
Think he still has trouble with it now, many years later!!
Jeeeeeeez, when will these revelations about BBC stars end? Saville, Starr, Lee-Travis and now Pudsey.
One of the more noticeable things surrounding the scandal is how lots of people have said something like "Saville - there was alwasys something dodgy about him".
But actually, when you think about Pudsey.... the fixed grin, the link to children, the charitable work concealing sinister motives, the visits to childrens' hospitals. And now we discover that he lost an eye to Obi through his behaviour.
I always knew it...."
Pudsey and Blush are not allowed to be alone with children - ever! He's much bigger than you would think too. Should I bearback with Pudsey tonight? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Here ya go - just found this
An extract from Bill Brysons A walk in The Woods where he discusses the advice given what to do if a bear attacks :
“All the books tell you that if the grizzly (bear) comes for you, on no account should you run.
This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it.
Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run.
You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life,”
“A grizzly bear may chew on a limp form for a minute or two but generally will lose interest and shuffle off.
With black bears, however, playing dead is futile, since they will continue chewing on you until you are considerably past caring.
It is also foolish to climb a tree because black bears are adroit climbers and…you will simply end up fighting the bear in a tree,” |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is it the general consensus amongst swingers & formites that riding on the back of a bear can be seriously dangerous to your health?
I've heard that you can get some horribe side effects from doing so - such as being eaten.
Advice much appreciated.
"
the trick is to lose your bear back virginity to a hibernating one first
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here ya go - just found this
An extract from Bill Brysons A walk in The Woods where he discusses the advice given what to do if a bear attacks :
“All the books tell you that if the grizzly (bear) comes for you, on no account should you run.
This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it.
Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run.
You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life,”
“A grizzly bear may chew on a limp form for a minute or two but generally will lose interest and shuffle off.
With black bears, however, playing dead is futile, since they will continue chewing on you until you are considerably past caring.
It is also foolish to climb a tree because black bears are adroit climbers and…you will simply end up fighting the bear in a tree,”"
Would standing still covered head to toe in a massive condom help in any cases? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Here ya go - just found this
An extract from Bill Brysons A walk in The Woods where he discusses the advice given what to do if a bear attacks :
“All the books tell you that if the grizzly (bear) comes for you, on no account should you run.
This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it.
Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run.
You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life,”
“A grizzly bear may chew on a limp form for a minute or two but generally will lose interest and shuffle off.
With black bears, however, playing dead is futile, since they will continue chewing on you until you are considerably past caring.
It is also foolish to climb a tree because black bears are adroit climbers and…you will simply end up fighting the bear in a tree,”
Would standing still covered head to toe in a massive condom help in any cases? "
i am guessing the bear would still fuck you over but at least it would be safe |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here ya go - just found this
An extract from Bill Brysons A walk in The Woods where he discusses the advice given what to do if a bear attacks :
“All the books tell you that if the grizzly (bear) comes for you, on no account should you run.
This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it.
Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run.
You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life,”
“A grizzly bear may chew on a limp form for a minute or two but generally will lose interest and shuffle off.
With black bears, however, playing dead is futile, since they will continue chewing on you until you are considerably past caring.
It is also foolish to climb a tree because black bears are adroit climbers and…you will simply end up fighting the bear in a tree,”
Would standing still covered head to toe in a massive condom help in any cases? "
Depends on if the bear was male or female
If it was female you'd be knackered.
If it was male you may stand more of a chance, purely on the basis that most males are latex intolerant |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here ya go - just found this
An extract from Bill Brysons A walk in The Woods where he discusses the advice given what to do if a bear attacks :
“All the books tell you that if the grizzly (bear) comes for you, on no account should you run.
This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it.
Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run.
You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life,”
“A grizzly bear may chew on a limp form for a minute or two but generally will lose interest and shuffle off.
With black bears, however, playing dead is futile, since they will continue chewing on you until you are considerably past caring.
It is also foolish to climb a tree because black bears are adroit climbers and…you will simply end up fighting the bear in a tree,”"
Why was information not posted sooner..........on more than one occasion I have taken the playing dead approach.....and indeed some do carry on chewing until you are considerably past caring....though I have found by making a few vocal sound effects...it does speed up the prolonged agony.......!!! Thanks for the advice...next time I'll just run.....! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"With black bears, however, playing dead is futile, since they will continue chewing on you until you are considerably past caring."
Ah yes, this is known as the Beyond Care Bear |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Just when we pretty much all agreed that bearbacking was just about the most dangerous and irresponsible thing one could do - I remembered this story;
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10611973
Although I'm pretty sure I've heard a few people on here comment on how they like to ride a big, fat croc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Although I'm pretty sure I've heard a few people on here comment on how they like to ride a big, fat croc It's the extra stimulation they get from the nobbly bits on their backs, innit...?
 "
rubbish at blowjobs though - too many teef
Wolf
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I have some very sound advice for all people considering interaction with a croc.
These are from a well respected expert on the Crocodylidae family.
1. Never smile at a crocodile.
2. You can't get friendly with a crocodile.
3.Never dip your hat and stop to talk awhile.
4. Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day.
5. Don't be taken in by his welcome grin.
Wise, wise words I'm sure you'll all agree. Be safe out there.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I suppose if you do go bearbacking and are worried about the potential to get eaten - just go for gummy bears!! "
They bounce here, there and everywhere, bound to be a dangerous ride |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I suppose if you do go bearbacking and are worried about the potential to get eaten - just go for gummy bears!!
They bounce here, there and everywhere, bound to be a dangerous ride "
Next stop - bearback with Tigger...? Now that'd be a wild ride...
Ooooooooh, the wonderful thing about Tigger is....... (answers on a postcard)
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A rabbit stumbles upon a bear sitting next to a tree.
The Bear asks the Rabbit "Excuse me, but do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?", the Rabbit replies "No, not at all".
So the Bear picks up the rabbit, and wipes his ass with him....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A rabbit stumbles upon a bear sitting next to a tree.
The Bear asks the Rabbit "Excuse me, but do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?", the Rabbit replies "No, not at all".
So the Bear picks up the rabbit, and wipes his ass with him....
"
Ah,... the old ones are the best ones....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A rabbit stumbles upon a bear sitting next to a tree.
The Bear asks the Rabbit "Excuse me, but do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?", the Rabbit replies "No, not at all".
So the Bear picks up the rabbit, and wipes his ass with him....
Ah,... the old ones are the best ones....
"
Yeah I know what you mean,,,,,
But I just can't get over the notion Bears and Rabbits speak the same language….!.
pfft who’d have thought it eh ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"A rabbit stumbles upon a bear sitting next to a tree.
The Bear asks the Rabbit "Excuse me, but do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?", the Rabbit replies "No, not at all".
So the Bear picks up the rabbit, and wipes his ass with him....
Ah,... the old ones are the best ones....
Yeah I know what you mean,,,,,
But I just can't get over the notion Bears and Rabbits speak the same language….!.
pfft who’d have thought it eh ! "
I think you'll find it is much more widespread than just rabbits and bears. Reports of donkey, rat, mole, toad and weasel also manage to understand each other. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A rabbit stumbles upon a bear sitting next to a tree.
The Bear asks the Rabbit "Excuse me, but do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?", the Rabbit replies "No, not at all".
So the Bear picks up the rabbit, and wipes his ass with him....
Ah,... the old ones are the best ones....
Yeah I know what you mean,,,,,
But I just can't get over the notion Bears and Rabbits speak the same language….!.
pfft who’d have thought it eh !
I think you'll find it is much more widespread than just rabbits and bears. Reports of donkey, rat, mole, toad and weasel also manage to understand each other."
I’ve long suspected Kangaroos and Dolphins, otherwise Australian programs would need subtitles. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
Last I heard she was involved in an MMFF - haven't heard a peep since! 
