FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Hello twats what are we doing wrong?
Hello twats what are we doing wrong?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile is far too serious! Lighten up a bit FFS!
Your 'taken with a fuzzy mobile' pictures are terrible! I had to look a dozen times (in the bathroom where the lights a bit better!) to make sure but come on - you must be able to do better than that!
Oh - and you're not appealing to the most important segment of the 'fab' population! The highly prized and noteworthy 'single guy'!
So there you have it! Obvious!!!! 
(Actually - I was lying about the pics!  )
(Oh - and the sense of humour! )
But not about the last bit! Meh! These fussy couples!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm assuming this is just tongue in cheek. You have a funny profile, recent veris, hot wife and good pics. Admittedly you've got a tiny cock but hey you can't have everything "
Pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm assuming this is just tongue in cheek. You have a funny profile, recent veris, hot wife and good pics. Admittedly you've got a tiny cock but hey you can't have everything "
Lets not gild a lily ryan  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm assuming this is just tongue in cheek. You have a funny profile, recent veris, hot wife and good pics. Admittedly you've got a tiny cock but hey you can't have everything "
pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's wrong with our profile why aren't we knee deep in fanny and cock.
Much love in advance. "
Well, coming from Sheffield is a bad start  
(only teasing, i have friends from there) |
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I didn't read every chapter but the pics are not bad. I particularly liked the one where Mrs is kneeling on the sofa so she can fart really loudly. I'd meet if she'll do another one.
You could always try a different laminate flooring finish. That might work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You aren't into pain, pee or poo.
How do you expect to pull on here if you're not into the 3 P's 
Everybody knows that if you don't have your poo painfully rammed up your wrong un whilst having a tiddle, then you, my friend, are never going to amount to anything on the swinging scene
How very dare you wear such slutty clothing as tank tops and dungarees! This is a respectful swinging site, not an Amsterdam knocking shop windowfest.
Not only do you flaunt your supple and toned bodies to good effect, you are obviously not of the ilk to mix with the likes of us with beer bellies, shaving rashed fannies and cellulite.
You are nothing but a cad and a hussy on the prowl, I for one will not keep such company as yourselves!!
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
What a pleasant introduction, knees, fannys and cocks...i may put them slightly different in a sentence but hey.......maybe its your state of mind, maybe you have an egotistical attitude, maybe your taking the piss.....hell i dont know....let me know when you get knee deep in fannys and cocks and il call search n rescue. Welcome xxx  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What a pleasant introduction, knees, fannys and cocks...i may put them slightly different in a sentence but hey.......maybe its your state of mind, maybe you have an egotistical attitude, maybe your taking the piss.....hell i dont know....let me know when you get knee deep in fannys and cocks and il call search n rescue. Welcome xxx "
it's just a little fun ons Thursday night.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You aren't into pain, pee or poo.
How do you expect to pull on here if you're not into the 3 P's
Everybody knows that if you don't have your poo painfully rammed up your wrong un whilst having a tiddle, then you, my friend, are never going to amount to anything on the swinging scene
How very dare you wear such slutty clothing as tank tops and dungarees! This is a respectful swinging site, not an Amsterdam knocking shop windowfest.
Not only do you flaunt your supple and toned bodies to good effect, you are obviously not of the ilk to mix with the likes of us with beer bellies, shaving rashed fannies and cellulite.
You are nothing but a cad and a hussy on the prowl, I for one will not keep such company as yourselves!!
"
?? thanks I think. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hahahaha I cannot actually believe that some of you are taking this seriously???? Sorry to those of you that we're offended by my very much tongue in cheek question (if u read our profile you will see that its very much a humourous one and that this was a joke) ??and to those of you that have a sense of humour and got it HURRAH!!!). Oh and to set the record straight we have actually had lots of interest, from some awesome people on here. Guys, lighten up a bit maybe ?? I'm just having a bit of fun with ya ?? peepies on a Thursday nite. Good way to see who we'd get on with tho |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hahahaha I cannot actually believe that some of you are taking this seriously???? Sorry to those of you that we're offended by my very much tongue in cheek question (if u read our profile you will see that its very much a humourous one and that this was a joke) ??and to those of you that have a sense of humour and got it HURRAH!!!). Oh and to set the record straight we have actually had lots of interest, from some awesome people on here. Guys, lighten up a bit maybe ?? I'm just having a bit of fun with ya ?? peepies on a Thursday nite. Good way to see who we'd get on with tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ha cracks me up how some people are taking it so seriously, think your profiles good, pretty funny too. The lass is a minx too.
Maybe it's the messaging side to things, your humour not being understood!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A "look at us post" that was actually worth looking at
Good job
Thankyou some people are getting quite nasty, it was meant as a bit of fun."
I'm from the south originally and down south 'twat' is said with as much meaning as the word 'idiot' and when I moved up north and used that word here Siren pulled me up and explained that up here calling someone a 'twat' is the same as calling them a 'cunt'.
If you didn't know that then you do now, if you did know it you chose to ignore coloqualisms from other parts of the country. Either way, it's got people's backs up and they've missed your humourous intentions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A "look at us post" that was actually worth looking at
Good job
Thankyou some people are getting quite nasty, it was meant as a bit of fun."
That'll be the clique that are being serious again
(shit! Mentioned the 'C' word |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ha cracks me up how some people are taking it so seriously, think your profiles good, pretty funny too. The lass is a minx too.
Maybe it's the messaging side to things, your humour not being understood!
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A "look at us post" that was actually worth looking at
Good job
Thankyou some people are getting quite nasty, it was meant as a bit of fun.
That'll be the clique that are being serious again
(shit! Mentioned the 'C' word "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Im about as loverly as you can get.....pink fluffybunnikins i am.....like i said welcome...dont sit over there though...someones pissed all over the sofa.
"
That will be one of the 32 cats. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well in Liverpool you can call your bezzies twats and it's alright but not random people most often...
Although if you're feeling brave try:
Daft Twat
Funny Twat
Magnificent Twat
or as a compliment-
I love you, you big twat! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's wrong with our profile why aren't we knee deep in fanny and cock.
Much love in advance. "
We'd love to meet you for a quick fumble but we are put of by the lack of cats |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just in from work..and I'm shocked and outraged and angry at this thread...highly offended and now wanking at the pics...gonna mess u's up big style...twats! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Great thread
This thread made me giggle
When I read the first post, I was ... Good god !!!
But then.. "
A prime example of where reading the whole profile pays dividends!
Can kinda tell from the posts those that did and those that skipped it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Great thread
This thread made me giggle
When I read the first post, I was ... Good god !!!
But then..
A prime example of where reading the whole profile pays dividends!
Can kinda tell from the posts those that did and those that skipped it! "
Love this reply, sat watching Bond in the pictures and this is just as interesting.
Oh and I've got my popcorn.
Click clique. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's wrong with our profile why aren't we knee deep in fanny and cock.
Much love in advance. "
Fact you from sheffield not in uout favour lol. Home of nick clegg.
Did you know twat is name for a pregnant fish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You obviously think yourselves quite witty but you should remember that sense of humour varies a lot and burying a real explanation in that... essay... means a lot of people won't get past the silly first half to even bother.
Of course, that can work for you, if you want to meet people similar to you.
But judging by your topic, you arn't managing that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shall we tell you the end of the bond film
Don't be cruel!
(Javier Bardem is the bad guy!! )
Ok... I won't. "
Best to let them find out the ending for themselves |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
your twats jibe may have been deeply offencive,although to be honest,not wholly inaccurate.
on your profile problem,to many words,to much scrolling to get to the pics.the words are optional,if there are pics.
you also seem to think,potential meets are some how interested in who yous are,and your sexual preferences tut!tut!tut!.(that's an assumption,i never read the words)
all people are interested in is,are yous hot,and where's the photo of mrs a and s in a school uniform,including heels,stockings,mini skirt,white blouse,open just enough to show a bit of cleavage,with a nipple winking over the top of a bra that's slightly to small.(that bit is essential)
always here to help,happy swinging guys.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You obviously think yourselves quite witty but you should remember that sense of humour varies a lot and burying a real explanation in that... essay... means a lot of people won't get past the silly first half to even bother.
Of course, that can work for you, if you want to meet people similar to you.
But judging by your topic, you arn't managing that."
Oh dear, our sense of humour obviously bypassed you then. Trust me. This was very tongue in cheek. We are meeting LOTS of people with their sense of humour still in tact. It's very obvious from our profile and this thread that this was a lighthearted joke. Why the need for nastiness? Sad really. And obi I love ur replies and that u get us. If we WERE looking for single men u would be top of the list (??mrs) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"your twats jibe may have been deeply offencive,although to be honest,not wholly inaccurate.
on your profile problem,to many words,to much scrolling to get to the pics.the words are optional,if there are pics.
you also seem to think,potential meets are some how interested in who yous are,and your sexual preferences tut!tut!tut!.(that's an assumption,i never read the words)
all people are interested in is,are yous hot,and where's the photo of mrs a and s in a school uniform,including heels,stockings,mini skirt,white blouse,open just enough to show a bit of cleavage,with a nipple winking over the top of a bra that's slightly to small.(that bit is essential)
always here to help,happy swinging guys. "
OMG! NEWSFLASH!
ITS A JOKE!!!!!! We dont really want Advice! we're fine thanx . Wow! well at least this has made Ne realise the people we DON'T want to meet. Jeeze! |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"your twats jibe may have been deeply offencive,although to be honest,not wholly inaccurate.
on your profile problem,to many words,to much scrolling to get to the pics.the words are optional,if there are pics.
you also seem to think,potential meets are some how interested in who yous are,and your sexual preferences tut!tut!tut!.(that's an assumption,i never read the words)
all people are interested in is,are yous hot,and where's the photo of mrs a and s in a school uniform,including heels,stockings,mini skirt,white blouse,open just enough to show a bit of cleavage,with a nipple winking over the top of a bra that's slightly to small.(that bit is essential)
always here to help,happy swinging guys.
OMG! NEWSFLASH!
ITS A JOKE!!!!!! We dont really want Advice! we're fine thanx . Wow! well at least this has made Ne realise the people we DON'T want to meet. Jeeze! "
OMG! NEWSFLASH!
IT'S A JOKE!!!!!!!
ps i forgot to add,don't take life so seriously. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If saucy is being funny then we are truly sorry, you wouldn't think a post that was meant to be a bit of lighthearted fun would get us nasty PM's so when we read that one we felt it was another dig.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am still giggling at this thread!
It's funny how something so " tongue in cheek" gets taken so seriously by some people! That's the world of text/type for you!!!
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
" way to long profile, cut it short and to the point,people dont reasd long profiles."
Not true, some folk do if their funny bone is immediately tickled, which mine was...OP, don't take it to heart, I've seen so many tongue in cheek posts taken wrongly when it seems obviously a mickey take to me...for the record, I saw it as humorous before I even looked at your profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You obviously think yourselves quite witty but you should remember that sense of humour varies a lot and burying a real explanation in that... essay... means a lot of people won't get past the silly first half to even bother.
Of course, that can work for you, if you want to meet people similar to you.
But judging by your topic, you arn't managing that.
Oh dear, our sense of humour obviously bypassed you then. Trust me. This was very tongue in cheek. We are meeting LOTS of people with their sense of humour still in tact. It's very obvious from our profile and this thread that this was a lighthearted joke. Why the need for nastiness? Sad really. And obi I love ur replies and that u get us. If we WERE looking for single men u would be top of the list (??mrs)"
Awww thanks! I'll let you know when my mail order bride turns up so we can arrange something one weekend! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" way to long profile, cut it short and to the point,people dont reasd long profiles.
Not true, some folk do if their funny bone is immediately tickled, which mine was...OP, don't take it to heart, I've seen so many tongue in cheek posts taken wrongly when it seems obviously a mickey take to me...for the record, I saw it as humorous before I even looked at your profile "
Yay. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You obviously think yourselves quite witty but you should remember that sense of humour varies a lot and burying a real explanation in that... essay... means a lot of people won't get past the silly first half to even bother.
Of course, that can work for you, if you want to meet people similar to you.
But judging by your topic, you arn't managing that.
Oh dear, our sense of humour obviously bypassed you then. Trust me. This was very tongue in cheek. We are meeting LOTS of people with their sense of humour still in tact. It's very obvious from our profile and this thread that this was a lighthearted joke. Why the need for nastiness? Sad really. And obi I love ur replies and that u get us. If we WERE looking for single men u would be top of the list (??mrs)
Awww thanks! I'll let you know when my mail order bride turns up so we can arrange something one weekend! "
As long as she doesn't have a cock. I'm in. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"With crap pics like that you have to ask? I mean seriously? Hooded chavs? Nah - I'd give up if I were you"
Can't work out if this post is being funny along with the thread or nasty.
Thoughts. ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With crap pics like that you have to ask? I mean seriously? Hooded chavs? Nah - I'd give up if I were you
Can't work out if this post is being funny along with the thread or nasty.
Thoughts. ? "
Looking at your pics and profile I'd say being funny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With crap pics like that you have to ask? I mean seriously? Hooded chavs? Nah - I'd give up if I were you
Can't work out if this post is being funny along with the thread or nasty.
Thoughts. ?
Looking at your pics and profile I'd say being funny "
Yeah I would say funny too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"With crap pics like that you have to ask? I mean seriously? Hooded chavs? Nah - I'd give up if I were you
Can't work out if this post is being funny along with the thread or nasty.
Thoughts. ?
Looking at your pics and profile I'd say being funny
Yeah I would say funny too "
Cheers for you oppinion guys after some of the nasty comments and people actually rating our profile it got a little confusing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saucy has a dark humour, stick around im sure you will get it....irony isnt lost on me.... "
It took me a while to figure out he really wasn't having a pop at me while having a pop at me. Man's a certifiable loon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm assuming this is just tongue in cheek. You have a funny profile, recent veris, hot wife and good pics. Admittedly you've got a tiny cock but hey you can't have everything
Pmsl "
omg that made me laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I saw this briefly last night and wondered what might happen...funny thread.
However even though it is tongue and cheek, your profile is way too long, nearly sent me back to sleep
If you look at our main profile then it will all become clear where you tw@ts are going wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had the same problem many times on the forums.
Misinterpretation is the main cause.
Someone will read the posts and depending what mood they are in will interpret it accordingly.
Don't get put off the forums as its a good place to hang out for banter and a giggle if you dont take it serious and there are some good people here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had the same problem many times on the forums.
Misinterpretation is the main cause.
Someone will read the posts and depending what mood they are in will interpret it accordingly.
Don't get put off the forums as its a good place to hang out for banter and a giggle if you dont take it serious and there are some good people here."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you all for your kind comments and advice especially the kind gentleman from Brighton, however seeing as your one verification is from your MUM ill choose to ignore.
"
Is there really a need for the sarcasm? You need to ask yourself will it attract people to you and is attitude the reason you draw blanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's wrong with our profile why aren't we knee deep in fanny and cock.
Much love in advance. "
because it says "not looking for single guys"
open your minds a bit and you'll get more action....guaranteed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I saw this briefly last night and wondered what might happen...funny thread.
However even though it is tongue and cheek, your profile is way too long, nearly sent me back to sleep
If you look at our main profile then it will all become clear where you tw@ts are going wrong
Thankyou for your comment and the dact that you do appear in oart to get that this was intended as humour. But Sorry but I thought it was very clear from the thread. The question is in no way serious! We aren't looking for advise on how we are going wrong, we in fact are very happy that we aren't going wrong as we are having plenty of contacts. Lets make it clear again, IT WAS ALL A JOKE!! don't think I'll ever post on a forum again! It's soul sapping! "
Oh don't get sapped or zapped
My post was also just humour
However as you did post, regardless of what your OP was, people will look at your profile.
Nothing wrong with constructive advice
But it is your profile and what you choose to have on it or the way you'd like to represent yourselves is entirely your choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would have been very interested to see what reaction this thread would have had if it had been posted by a single male....
Anyways....i think the OPs knew EXACTLY what they were doing...."
Lets see what happens |
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"Thank you all for your kind comments and advice especially the kind gentleman from Brighton, however seeing as your one verification is from your MUM ill choose to ignore.
"
If that was directed at me..... |
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".....I do apologise. I have a dreadful sense of humour and wit doesn't often visit.
I think it was.. You've been cussed boy! LOL x"
Ive just spent 5 mins DESPERATELY trawling up the posts to find anyone else from Brighton but there was'nt one (unless they moved) so it WAS me! *ashamed* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".....I do apologise. I have a dreadful sense of humour and wit doesn't often visit.
I think it was.. You've been cussed boy! LOL x
Ive just spent 5 mins DESPERATELY trawling up the posts to find anyone else from Brighton but there was'nt one (unless they moved) so it WAS me! *ashamed*"
It certainly was.... cant believe you got your mum to write a veri for you. Did she used to write notes to get you out of sports day as well? |
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How DARE you! She NEVER did my excuse notes! As for the veri....well....er...no she didn't, actually and I can prove it. Send me your real actual home address and I can pop her on a train to explain. |
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"Thank you all for your kind comments and advice especially the kind gentleman from Brighton, however seeing as your one verification is from your MUM ill choose to ignore.
"
.
Brilliant but it seems some don't get the Sheffield sense of humour! Don't mention Hendersons Relish whatever you do!  |
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