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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately! |
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It would leave me shaken, any sort of aggression aimed at me does. I would probably walk away and wish I'd said more once I'd calmed down. However you did speak up, you embarrassed him because he clearly thought you'd keep quiet and you've come out of this the bigger person in my opinion |
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By *ingo00Man
over a year ago
Cowley |
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!"
It sounds like telling him the truth you've hit a raw nerve so he's lashed out like the arsehole he was being!
It's easy to say when youre not on the sharp end of it but don't stop calling out people on their awful behaviour or it will never end!
 |
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"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!"
I would say trust your gut. If your gut tells you to shout back then do it, if it tells you to leave and get somewhere safe do that.
Trust your gut and be safe!
I will say that seeing you say you stood up to him restored a little faith in humanity for me! you are a Gem! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It would leave me shaken, any sort of aggression aimed at me does. I would probably walk away and wish I'd said more once I'd calmed down. However you did speak up, you embarrassed him because he clearly thought you'd keep quiet and you've come out of this the bigger person in my opinion "
I get that too. I don't cope well during confrontation and usually clam up but no way can I stay silent. Apparently he's annoyed because he "can't have an opinion " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!
It sounds like telling him the truth you've hit a raw nerve so he's lashed out like the arsehole he was being!
It's easy to say when youre not on the sharp end of it but don't stop calling out people on their awful behaviour or it will never end!
"
I was about to say similar.
The more people standing up against bad behaviour, the better |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!
I would say trust your gut. If your gut tells you to shout back then do it, if it tells you to leave and get somewhere safe do that.
Trust your gut and be safe!
I will say that seeing you say you stood up to him restored a little faith in humanity for me! you are a Gem!"
There were other people there too so I didn't feel unsafe to say what I thought but it's just left me feeling awful. I don't understand why racism still exists and it just baffles me that people can be so disgusting towards other human beings
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Might be worth contacting the club and registering it with them and ask them what their procedure is for such an encounter? "
That's a good idea. I'll bring it up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"hes low life take no notice,,
True!"
I’m glad you did take notice and stand up for what you believe in, in a swingers club, where everyone should be made to feel welcome. I really hope you’re alright. Racism really winds me up, too!
I hope you reported him and he is banned from the club x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!
It sounds like telling him the truth you've hit a raw nerve so he's lashed out like the arsehole he was being!
It's easy to say when youre not on the sharp end of it but don't stop calling out people on their awful behaviour or it will never end!
"
I won't stop. It angers me so much!!! |
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"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!"
I'm in awe of you for standing up against racism. Be proud of yourself. Sadly some people have small bigotted minds, we can hope he takes some note of what you said. Although we won't hold our breaths.
Deep breath, shoulders back, chin up and be proud xx hugs xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"hes low life take no notice,,
True!
I’m glad you did take notice and stand up for what you believe in, in a swingers club, where everyone should be made to feel welcome. I really hope you’re alright. Racism really winds me up, too!
I hope you reported him and he is banned from the club x"
I will report him for sure. Not sure how far it will go though as it's a social club and I think everyone in there (except for a very small few) are cut from the same cloth |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!
I'm in awe of you for standing up against racism. Be proud of yourself. Sadly some people have small bigotted minds, we can hope he takes some note of what you said. Although we won't hold our breaths.
Deep breath, shoulders back, chin up and be proud xx hugs xx"
Thank you xx I will never stop fighting back against it |
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"It would leave me shaken, any sort of aggression aimed at me does. I would probably walk away and wish I'd said more once I'd calmed down. However you did speak up, you embarrassed him because he clearly thought you'd keep quiet and you've come out of this the bigger person in my opinion
I get that too. I don't cope well during confrontation and usually clam up but no way can I stay silent. Apparently he's annoyed because he "can't have an opinion ""
 which he had only just expressed . What he means is you can't disagree or challenge his opinion. Poor chap. Yeah I don't stay silent but I always wish I'd responded to the aggression with a bitingly witty retort...never happens, I stutter something and walk away red faced and shaken |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It would leave me shaken, any sort of aggression aimed at me does. I would probably walk away and wish I'd said more once I'd calmed down. However you did speak up, you embarrassed him because he clearly thought you'd keep quiet and you've come out of this the bigger person in my opinion
I get that too. I don't cope well during confrontation and usually clam up but no way can I stay silent. Apparently he's annoyed because he "can't have an opinion "
which he had only just expressed . What he means is you can't disagree or challenge his opinion. Poor chap. Yeah I don't stay silent but I always wish I'd responded to the aggression with a bitingly witty retort...never happens, I stutter something and walk away red faced and shaken "
I get that too. I'm so jealous of quick witted people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"hes low life take no notice,,
True!
I’m glad you did take notice and stand up for what you believe in, in a swingers club, where everyone should be made to feel welcome. I really hope you’re alright. Racism really winds me up, too!
I hope you reported him and he is banned from the club x
I will report him for sure. Not sure how far it will go though as it's a social club and I think everyone in there (except for a very small few) are cut from the same cloth"
I’ve seen a lot more hate out in the community recently, right in front of my eyes. It’s the type of hate I just can’t understand, like these people feel threatened by anyone who is of a different ethnic background. It’s a really unattractive trait and I will keep calling people out and call the police when I see it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"hes low life take no notice,,
True!
I’m glad you did take notice and stand up for what you believe in, in a swingers club, where everyone should be made to feel welcome. I really hope you’re alright. Racism really winds me up, too!
I hope you reported him and he is banned from the club x
I will report him for sure. Not sure how far it will go though as it's a social club and I think everyone in there (except for a very small few) are cut from the same cloth
I’ve seen a lot more hate out in the community recently, right in front of my eyes. It’s the type of hate I just can’t understand, like these people feel threatened by anyone who is of a different ethnic background. It’s a really unattractive trait and I will keep calling people out and call the police when I see it x"
Good on you. More people need to do this! |
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"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!"
He wasn’t born racist, something happened to make him that way.
You obviously see things differently. Take credit that in this case, you knew instinctively that his opinions were wrong. Rather than sit there and be a passive observer you took a stand.
If I was in your shoes I wouldn’t care about how others would see me, I know I could look in the mirror and be proud of the person that I saw reflected back. Maybe you should as well.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!"
 unfortunately I've dealt with this all the time, I've had it everywhere even on here. But now I just don't let it get to me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!
He wasn’t born racist, something happened to make him that way.
You obviously see things differently. Take credit that in this case, you knew instinctively that his opinions were wrong. Rather than sit there and be a passive observer you took a stand.
If I was in your shoes I wouldn’t care about how others would see me, I know I could look in the mirror and be proud of the person that I saw reflected back. Maybe you should as well. "
Thank you, yeah I do feel proud but also exhausted. It shouldn't be this way |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately! unfortunately I've dealt with this all the time, I've had it everywhere even on here. But now I just don't let it get to me "
It must be exhausting. I get people have different options on things but abuse is just uncalled for |
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"Apparently he's annoyed because he "can't have an opinion ""
What that really means is that he wants to sprout off hateful and spiteful drivel but not have to suffer the repercussions of said vitriol.
It's the mewling bleat of some of the far-right "snowflakes". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!"
You did a right thing and you should be proud for standing up for the right cause. At the same time I'm quite intrigued to know how other people in the club reacted when the guy was saying something that stupid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately! unfortunately I've dealt with this all the time, I've had it everywhere even on here. But now I just don't let it get to me
It must be exhausting. I get people have different options on things but abuse is just uncalled for"
I don't let it get to me, when I don't react they end up stopping or walking away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately for him he probably thinks it's cool and funny to bash people down , mostly because people around him are probably laughing out of awkwardness.
Well done for stepping on his toes ,and the backlash you got is sometimes worth taking to show people like him that what he's saying is not funny or ok and the next time he's thinking about engaging in chat like that it might not be someone he can abuse so easy that challenges him on it .
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Apparently he's annoyed because he "can't have an opinion "
What that really means is that he wants to sprout off hateful and spiteful drivel but not have to suffer the repercussions of said vitriol.
It's the mewling bleat of some of the far-right "snowflakes"."
He loves to call me a snowflake lol because apparently I'm easily offended. Which isn't true, I just don't stand for racism or homophobia. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!
You did a right thing and you should be proud for standing up for the right cause. At the same time I'm quite intrigued to know how other people in the club reacted when the guy was saying something that stupid. "
They just let it slide or join in! One guy after told me he was racist and I said that's his choice, but the difference is that he doesn't openly bad mouth people in public and keeps it internal. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately for him he probably thinks it's cool and funny to bash people down , mostly because people around him are probably laughing out of awkwardness.
Well done for stepping on his toes ,and the backlash you got is sometimes worth taking to show people like him that what he's saying is not funny or ok and the next time he's thinking about engaging in chat like that it might not be someone he can abuse so easy that challenges him on it .
"
That's true. I just hope more people call idiots out on it. |
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"
He loves to call me a snowflake lol because apparently I'm easily offended. Which isn't true, I just don't stand for racism or homophobia. "
And good for you. You did the right thing.
Methinks the fellow doth protest too much.
He wanted to say shitty hateful things and got called out on it. He moaned because he didn't like being called out on it. As I said, a mewling tantrum.
The irony is, the hurt he felt is exactly how others would have felt hearing those vile things.
Man who pokes others complains when poked himself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!
You did a right thing and you should be proud for standing up for the right cause. At the same time I'm quite intrigued to know how other people in the club reacted when the guy was saying something that stupid.
They just let it slide or join in! One guy after told me he was racist and I said that's his choice, but the difference is that he doesn't openly bad mouth people in public and keeps it internal."
If you were the only one to speak out and rest of the people were bystanders it's a sorry state. Secondly racism is not a choice it's a crime. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
He loves to call me a snowflake lol because apparently I'm easily offended. Which isn't true, I just don't stand for racism or homophobia.
And good for you. You did the right thing.
Methinks the fellow doth protest too much.
He wanted to say shitty hateful things and got called out on it. He moaned because he didn't like being called out on it. As I said, a mewling tantrum.
The irony is, the hurt he felt is exactly how others would have felt hearing those vile things.
Man who pokes others complains when poked himself."
True! He hates anything negative said towards him. Has tantrums all the time! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!
You did a right thing and you should be proud for standing up for the right cause. At the same time I'm quite intrigued to know how other people in the club reacted when the guy was saying something that stupid.
They just let it slide or join in! One guy after told me he was racist and I said that's his choice, but the difference is that he doesn't openly bad mouth people in public and keeps it internal.
If you were the only one to speak out and rest of the people were bystanders it's a sorry state. Secondly racism is not a choice it's a crime. "
They all just sit and listen and laugh or join in. I hate it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!"
Best not to argue back with zealots, if someone has a hatred of a group it is impossible to have a conversation with them. I’m assuming the comments were of a derogatory stereotype |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today I came home from the club I go to in tears because I had an argument with another regular.
He was saying awful, really racist and derogatory things about Asian people and I bit and just told him how disgusting his behaviour was.
Then he got up and started shouting and saying nasty things about me too.
How do you deal with stuff like this? It's really getting to me lately!
Best not to argue back with zealots, if someone has a hatred of a group it is impossible to have a conversation with them. I’m assuming the comments were of a derogatory stereotype "
They were awful comments. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I grew up with racism all my life. As a child I got called a monkey and a niga despite being a Britishborn with an Asian ethnicity .
People used to keep telling me when I would go back to my country when I was actually born and carlisle.
And yes this form of racism came from someone who was caucasian however not all caucasians were bad. These self-entitled individuals are nothing but self-centred cancerous parasites. Believe me I've had my form of retaliation over the years where I was successful.
Then comes 9/11 and 7 7. Where every time I used to walk on the street I get called a terrorist.
Even people from professional backgrounds used to use derogatory questioning techniques, where they used to ask me what do I think of the talibans and isis as if as though i had some sort of a fucking connection.
There are some element of racism on fab, which i had reported that the woman said she does not like muslims because we maybe terrorists and child groomers.
My skin colour will always attract racist bastards.
Yesterday it was NF BNP BRITAIN FIRST, NATIONAL ACTION. In the god knows which twats will develop over the years.
All i can say is bring it on |
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I’ve had it before at Ab Fabs, some regular telling me about men stalking in clubs and saying it’s all Asians and they haven’t been brought up properly / don’t know how to behave with women etc, I told him to fuck off and walked away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had it before at Ab Fabs, some regular telling me about men stalking in clubs and saying it’s all Asians and they haven’t been brought up properly / don’t know how to behave with women etc, I told him to fuck off and walked away. "
amen
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