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How to put on a......
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
Condom..
Step 1. get the willy nice and hard So a bit of wanking or sucking...
Step 2.. Unwrap the condom and place the condom on the willy making sure the teat bit is facing upwards...
Step 3 Roll down the condom so the end is reaching the bottom of the willy.. remember if you have a small willy use a condom to match yor size and the same if you have a rather big one..
Step 4 enjoy the experience you are faced with.. When that is done and dusted and not before one minute..
Step 5 Hold the base of the willy and take off the condom...
Condoms prevents letters from the CSA and dieases where you have to sit there answering embrassing questions from a nurse thinking WTF...!!
 |
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"Condom..
Step 1. get the willy nice and hard So a bit of wanking or sucking...
Step 2.. Unwrap the condom and place the condom on the willy making sure the teat bit is facing upwards...
Step 3 Roll down the condom so the end is reaching the bottom of the willy.. remember if you have a small willy use a condom to match yor size and the same if you have a rather big one..
Step 4 enjoy the experience you are faced with.. When that is done and dusted and not before one minute..
Step 5 Hold the base of the willy and take off the condom...
Condoms prevents letters from the CSA and dieases where you have to sit there answering embrassing questions from a nurse thinking WTF...!!
"
Hmmm, still unclear... Do you do practical demonstrations?
 |
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"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?
Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it."
do we get a gold star if we say we can ?? |
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"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?
Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it.
do we get a gold star if we say we can ??"
Absolutely! |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Stretch condom
Place "nipple" end up nostril
Inhale while keeping hold of the other end
Reach into gob & pull out nipple end
Stretch again & enjoy
*courtesy of the useless information department* "
Oh now there is an idea.... I need volunteers... |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"Who didn't squeeze the air bubble out
how do u do that .. show me please ??
Pay attention then so it doesn't explode !
gulp !! .. that wud knock me tonsils skyward .. im all ears !! "
Always handy to have summit to hold on to  |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?
Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it.
do we get a gold star if we say we can ??
Absolutely! "
Can I have a gold star please, have occasionally put them on with my mouth |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?
Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it.
do we get a gold star if we say we can ??
Absolutely!
Can I have a gold star please, have occasionally put them on with my mouth "
Do you teach the art?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Misscheeky, you got the last bit wrong regarding taking them off. The loose bit on the end of a condom gets quite pliable when warm (remember it's full of spunk and has been in a nice warm place) so it tends to elongate (that's stretch for you plebites ok) which makes taking the condom off far easier than putting it on as all you have to do it put your foot on it. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?
Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it.
do we get a gold star if we say we can ??
Absolutely!
Can I have a gold star please, have occasionally put them on with my mouth
Do you teach the art?? "
For a small fee...
Don't report me as a working girl, I'm only joking, will do it for chocolate  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Condom..
Step 1. get the willy nice and hard So a bit of wanking or sucking...
Step 2.. Unwrap the condom and place the condom on the willy making sure the teat bit is facing upwards...
Step 3 Roll down the condom so the end is reaching the bottom of the willy.. remember if you have a small willy use a condom to match yor size and the same if you have a rather big one..
Step 4 enjoy the experience you are faced with.. When that is done and dusted and not before one minute..
Step 5 Hold the base of the willy and take off the condom...
Condoms prevents letters from the CSA and dieases where you have to sit there answering embrassing questions from a nurse thinking WTF...!!
"
Another example of theory and practice being two wholly different things !
After years of not engaging in penetrative sex with non-regular patrtners (because condoms 'cut me in two'), thanks to these forums, I eventually found some that actually fitted me comfortably.
Hooray you may all think, but oh no, I think they are in the most awkward protective packaging ever invented - I am sure they do it on purpose !
I don't know whether it was the excitement of the moment or not, but the first time I went to use one for anything other than a posh wank, it took me a good 10 minutes to get the thing out of the fkin packaging !  |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Condom..
Step 1. get the willy nice and hard So a bit of wanking or sucking...
Step 2.. Unwrap the condom and place the condom on the willy making sure the teat bit is facing upwards...
Step 3 Roll down the condom so the end is reaching the bottom of the willy.. remember if you have a small willy use a condom to match yor size and the same if you have a rather big one..
Step 4 enjoy the experience you are faced with.. When that is done and dusted and not before one minute..
Step 5 Hold the base of the willy and take off the condom...
Condoms prevents letters from the CSA and dieases where you have to sit there answering embrassing questions from a nurse thinking WTF...!!
Another example of theory and practice being two wholly different things !
After years of not engaging in penetrative sex with non-regular patrtners (because condoms 'cut me in two'), thanks to these forums, I eventually found some that actually fitted me comfortably.
Hooray you may all think, but oh no, I think they are in the most awkward protective packaging ever invented - I am sure they do it on purpose !
I don't know whether it was the excitement of the moment or not, but the first time I went to use one for anything other than a posh wank, it took me a good 10 minutes to get the thing out of the fkin packaging ! "
Awwww bussy I am sorry that you feel that way about condoms...May I suggest you try cling film or a iffy bag as an alternative... |
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Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters"
I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over... |
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"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters
I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over... "
Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?
I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters
I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...
Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?
I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy"
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters
I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...
Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?
I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!! "
Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know |
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|
By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters
I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...
Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?
I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!
Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know"
I'll stick it in yours... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters
I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...
Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?
I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!
Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know"
I once had a request to send a used condom to someone thru the post so he could drink the contents.
I did consider sending one filled with cottage cheese with a note saying I'd send another once the infection had cleared up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters
I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...
Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?
I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!
Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know
I once had a request to send a used condom to someone thru the post so he could drink the contents.
I did consider sending one filled with cottage cheese with a note saying I'd send another once the infection had cleared up. "
I've just poked out my own eyes so I never have to read this again!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters
I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...
Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?
I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!
Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know
I'll stick it in yours... "
You wont ya kinky devil. Besides, it would stand out a mile in my jacks n |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?
Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?
If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?
When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.
They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters
I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...
Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?
I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!
Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know
I once had a request to send a used condom to someone thru the post so he could drink the contents.
I did consider sending one filled with cottage cheese with a note saying I'd send another once the infection had cleared up. "
How funny would that of been? Good luck asking for ya money back on this one, yeah go on, take it to Watchdog |
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