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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Well I don't think everyone on the site is a swinger.
So if it matters to them, that's fair enough. There could be a myriad of reasons. I don't think imposing who someone can and can't meet is a good idea but I also can understand why some are mindful/cautious about meeting other people. It's not quite as black and white as no or yes.
If it did matter to me, I wouldn't stop someone. I'd just step back because it's my thing and not fair (such a rubbish word but my brain power is fading) to stop people enjoying meeting other people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure if the question is about WHO they are meeting or the fact that they're meeting at all.
For me it doesn't matter who it is but I kinda feel a bit weird if we've been chatting loads and they haven't mentioned they were gonna meet someone. I tend to chat at a level where we chat daily which includes the standard "what's your plans" so if they didn't mention it I'd wonder why. |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
It doesn’t matter to me, but I’ve certainly seen quite a few profiles that say that they ‘don’t share’ so I’m guessing it matters to them, or rather, it doesn’t matter who anyone else is you might meet, they just don’t want you meeting anyone else. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
It shouldn’t but it can do.
People like to think they are important, and when you meet others it can dent/bruise ego’s as you realise that they do not view you the same way you view them.
People talk/gossip, and so private items can become more widely known.
Some people are bigger risk takers, e.g. not getting tested at all let alone regularly, so you could expose yourself to unnecessary risks.
Some people just don’t like some others on fab, and so by extension won’t see people that have seen them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a swinging website and apparently we are all swingers. But we are not all swingers.
It sometimes does matter, just because I have feelings that we have a hard time grasping. |
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Yes it matters. The bitchiness and back stabbing is rife on here. I've been dragged into drama before just for having a coffee with someone so I have a list of people that if they have met, I avoid at all cost because I'm too old to be playing childish games x |
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"Yes it matters to me.
I've no intention of being dragged into other people's drama and if one of my playmates decided to get involved with a Drama Llama then yes I'd step back/walk away."
This ^^
It doesn't mean I'd never meet that person, I'd just not allow myself to get emotionally involved in anyway 
Cherry x |
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I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
" I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances."
I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?
If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?
Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all |
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" I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances.
I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?
If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?
Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all"
You're quite right that I was judgemental. It wasn't so much that they were meeting others it was the nature of the activities, their attitudes to the people involved and in both cases the fact that they'd misrepresented themselves. That caused me to change my opinion of them. |
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" I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances.
I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?
If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?
Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all"
How can you say what is relevant to a person though Tea? What is relevant to me may not be relevant to you? From what I read on these forum there’s an awful lot that is irrelevant to some but would be relevant to me. We all judge. I judge. I just don’t tend to do it publicly. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Yes it sometimes matters to me because of all the background drama and bullshite that goes on and there are quite a few that if they find out you have even spoken to someone they meet they go on the attack and spread all sort of lies and rumours about you. Even contacting you off their fake profiles. They think they yield power on here especially if they are 'popular' on here they think they control who is on fab and who people meet on here. So yes for that reason it does matter who someone meets and if I see a veri from these people I stay away cos I can't be bothered with the drama. |
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By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago
somewhere sweet and sour |
This is why I tend to meet at clubs now. Unless I've met them at a club then it's very very rare I'll meet them outside.
Many people at Kestrels/Abfabs are on here, but if I don't wish to stay in contact, I don't mention I'm on fab.
But it makes no difference if people have met others... my biggest worry is having to ask when they last had a sexual health check up and having to trust what they say.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it sometimes matters to me because of all the background drama and bullshite that goes on and there are quite a few that if they find out you have even spoken to someone they meet they go on the attack and spread all sort of lies and rumours about you. Even contacting you off their fake profiles. They think they yield power on here especially if they are 'popular' on here they think they control who is on fab and who people meet on here. So yes for that reason it does matter who someone meets and if I see a veri from these people I stay away cos I can't be bothered with the drama. "
I had similar issues a few years ago. I think it's a shame to not meet someone you're attracted to just because of a previous meet. Keeping veri's hidden must help to a certain extent? Also not talking about meets to other meets. I really really hate the word "meet", gives me the ick... |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
" I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances.
I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?
If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?
Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all
How can you say what is relevant to a person though Tea? What is relevant to me may not be relevant to you? From what I read on these forum there’s an awful lot that is irrelevant to some but would be relevant to me. We all judge. I judge. I just don’t tend to do it publicly. "
I absolutely understand that and yes, we all have differing values and what is important. I’m asking why these things matter though.
I also find it strange how people are so ready and willing to judge others without understanding or context. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
" I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances.
I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?
If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?
Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all
You're quite right that I was judgemental. It wasn't so much that they were meeting others it was the nature of the activities, their attitudes to the people involved and in both cases the fact that they'd misrepresented themselves. That caused me to change my opinion of them. "
I can see how the deception would give you pause. Is it any different from someone having profiles on different sites looking for different things though?
I’m not having a go at you by the way, I’m curious and trying to look at things in a different way |
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" I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances.
I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?
If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?
Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all
You're quite right that I was judgemental. It wasn't so much that they were meeting others it was the nature of the activities, their attitudes to the people involved and in both cases the fact that they'd misrepresented themselves. That caused me to change my opinion of them.
I can see how the deception would give you pause. Is it any different from someone having profiles on different sites looking for different things though?
I’m not having a go at you by the way, I’m curious and trying to look at things in a different way "
I understand that you're discussing not criticising .
I don't claim to be rational in my reasoning when it comes to things like this and you make a good point about it not being any different to looking for different things on different sites. I don't think humans are rational when it comes to sex and emotions though. I can change my mind about a man purely because he gets a funny look on his face fir goodness sake!  .
I can only say that I would like to think that I take each person as I find them in my swinging relationships *when they are with me* but on closer examination of my thoughts and actions I really don't. It's not logical or rational given the nature of swinging but here we are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’re planning on meeting someone, you like them, they like you, there’s mutual attraction and all boxes are ticked, should it matter who they also meet? If so, why? "
Nope we all have a past and that’s where it should stay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’re planning on meeting someone, you like them, they like you, there’s mutual attraction and all boxes are ticked, should it matter who they also meet? If so, why? "
No, people judge people by who they have met based purely on peoples pics. I meet people based on the connection I have with them, so if that person was not to someone else’s taste then that’s their problem and not mine. |
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Some people will judge you from the people you have met.
That’s why we don’t show many people we’ve played with…it’s no one else’s business.
We aren’t here to be drama llama’s or get involved in anyone else’s business. We are here to have fun 
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances.
I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?
If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?
Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all"
I am very judgemental of other people and their past. I don't see why their connections have no relevance to me.
Otherwise I should just fuck whoever asks and have no say in it. |
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" I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances.
I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?
If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?
Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all
How can you say what is relevant to a person though Tea? What is relevant to me may not be relevant to you? From what I read on these forum there’s an awful lot that is irrelevant to some but would be relevant to me. We all judge. I judge. I just don’t tend to do it publicly.
I absolutely understand that and yes, we all have differing values and what is important. I’m asking why these things matter though.
I also find it strange how people are so ready and willing to judge others without understanding or context. "
I think Tea (and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing!) you’re one of those people who likes a reason for everything. I’m not really. We had this over me preferring straight men over bi men and I think we actually fell out over it one time!  .
Hypothetically- he messages me - I know he’s met her - I know she’s into bareback gangbangs - I’ll choose not to meet him. Simple really. Even if I’ve heard she’s into bareback gangbangs and I don’t know for sure I still won’t meet him. Judging or not that’s still my choice/my body and it doesn’t really matter to anyone else why I might think that way. |
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It matters to me because I'm nosy 
In all seriousness though, nah, I've never really been bothered, I'm glad those that I've met have been having fun...swinging is about sharing sexy time.
The main downside is the drama that can come from verifications causing injury to peoples egos, but that's entirely on the twunts that cause the drama, nothing to do with the verifications themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had arranged a first social with a man for the next day but a short time later updated our status to say we were visiting a club that evening and he lost the plot.
Proper jealous hissy fit.
It obviously mattered to him. |
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