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Is there a protocol on who should send a face pic first
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We were messaged recently by a couple whom had only just joined Fabs and had no photos on there profile, public or private although they are shown as being ‘photo verified’.
We exchanged a few messages and had agreed a social meet.
However we do like to swap face pics to make sure there is an initial attraction.
We have been ‘Catfished’ before so on asking them to send a face pic we were met with you send first and we’ll reciprocate.
After politely telling them that as they aren’t verified and had contacted us first we would reciprocate on receiving theirs first. We haven’t heard from them since.
Are we being unreasonable? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The way I see it is that if I initiate a conversation and message first then I’ll send a face pic first, and likewise if people message me first but then say “can you send a face pic” without first sending theirs I’ll tend to refuse. It’s happened a few times, like because I’m the single male then I should jump through their hoops even though they messaged me.
I guess if it’s part of an ongoing conversation, and you’ve both been talking for a while it’s who finally buckles and asks / wants a face pic first that should send first, in my humble opinion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The way I see it is that if I initiate a conversation and message first then I’ll send a face pic first, and likewise if people message me first but then say “can you send a face pic” without first sending theirs I’ll tend to refuse. It’s happened a few times, like because I’m the single male then I should jump through their hoops even though they messaged me.
I guess if it’s part of an ongoing conversation, and you’ve both been talking for a while it’s who finally buckles and asks / wants a face pic first that should send first, in my humble opinion.
"
So.. what I guess I’m saying is if we’d been talking for a bit and you asked to see mine first I’d do as that couple did and say “you first”.
But your profile.. your rules  |
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You shouldn't feel that you have to share face pics with anyone. Even if they've sent those pics to you.
We say clearly on our profile that we don't share face pics. .lots of people send us theirs... we never reciprocate!! Far too many people out there with dodgy motives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were messaged recently by a couple whom had only just joined Fabs and had no photos on there profile, public or private although they are shown as being ‘photo verified’.
We exchanged a few messages and had agreed a social meet.
However we do like to swap face pics to make sure there is an initial attraction.
We have been ‘Catfished’ before so on asking them to send a face pic we were met with you send first and we’ll reciprocate.
After politely telling them that as they aren’t verified and had contacted us first we would reciprocate on receiving theirs first. We haven’t heard from them since.
Are we being unreasonable? "
I think it's reasonable, for example if I'm talking to a single female I'll send a face pic to make her feel at ease so she knows she is not talking to a crazy person especially because I have no meeting veris only cam verified |
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You're not unreasonable. I think we form our rules based on experience and what seems right and works.
The great unknown, those with less stability to their claims, will typically be faced with being expected to stump up more, as part of becoming established. When we're committed to something, it is of little matter, even if it frustrates. We're in it for the longer term, so it's a necessary evil.
Conversely, fly by nights etc, will seek to avoid closer scrutiny, potentially not wanting much of a trail.
This couple may be the most ** genuine ** people that exist in the universe  they are perhaps a little green, etc. I do usually ask anyone requesting a face pic, to send theirs first - so I need to be careful of being a paidup hypocrite - but I think most established people here would probably do the same as you OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll send a pic once I know I like a guy enough, if he's sent me one or not beforehand isn't an issue.
If I have doubts over sending a pic I wouldn't even be talking to them.
We aren't in a playground. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll send a pic once I know I like a guy enough, if he's sent me one or not beforehand isn't an issue.
If I have doubts over sending a pic I wouldn't even be talking to them.
We aren't in a playground. "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If she already has a face pic up and I message her, then I will attach one. Otherwise I only send one if we are seriously considering a meet, or we have chatted a lot and she is curious..I don't send many.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were messaged recently by a couple whom had only just joined Fabs and had no photos on there profile, public or private although they are shown as being ‘photo verified’.
We exchanged a few messages and had agreed a social meet.
However we do like to swap face pics to make sure there is an initial attraction.
We have been ‘Catfished’ before so on asking them to send a face pic we were met with you send first and we’ll reciprocate.
After politely telling them that as they aren’t verified and had contacted us first we would reciprocate on receiving theirs first. We haven’t heard from them since.
Are we being unreasonable?
I think it's reasonable, for example if I'm talking to a single female I'll send a face pic to make her feel at ease so she knows she is not talking to a crazy person especially because I have no meeting veris only cam verified "
How will she know you're not a crazy person just by looking at your face? |
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To be honest a profile with zero pics is a big turn off for us and is unlikely to interest us. We were recently chatting to a couple who had one ( nice ) pic up. He seemed nice, but then he asked me for more pics. We have 21 public pics up, to his one. When I pointed that out, and not in an abusive manner, he told me to fuck off and blocked us.
But I digress, lol. We now don't mind sending face pics but only after chatting a bit, and getting a feel for the other couple. Usually we ask if we send a pic will you reciprocate. Genuine couples often send one back in their reply. |
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"We were messaged recently by a couple whom had only just joined Fabs and had no photos on there profile, public or private although they are shown as being ‘photo verified’.
We exchanged a few messages and had agreed a social meet.
However we do like to swap face pics to make sure there is an initial attraction.
We have been ‘Catfished’ before so on asking them to send a face pic we were met with you send first and we’ll reciprocate.
After politely telling them that as they aren’t verified and had contacted us first we would reciprocate on receiving theirs first. We haven’t heard from them since.
Are we being unreasonable? "
I wouldn't agree to a social meet without seeing pictures first. Think this could possibly be a single male you were chatting to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, whoever asks for the face pic first should be the one to send first. In fact, they should send one along with the request.
But that's just how I see it and how I do things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The way I see it is that if I initiate a conversation and message first then I’ll send a face pic first, and likewise if people message me first but then say “can you send a face pic” without first sending theirs I’ll tend to refuse. It’s happened a few times, like because I’m the single male then I should jump through their hoops even though they messaged me.
I guess if it’s part of an ongoing conversation, and you’ve both been talking for a while it’s who finally buckles and asks / wants a face pic first that should send first, in my humble opinion.
So.. what I guess I’m saying is if we’d been talking for a bit and you asked to see mine first I’d do as that couple did and say “you first”.
But your profile.. your rules "
I kind of agree with this view.
If you contact me, I’d expect you to send a face pic. But, then it’s like poker. If I call you on it, I put my hand down first.
Like Dan said, we all do things differently, and if you want a pic first, then ask. And they don’t need to comply. It’s a silly game we play sometimes isn’t it?  |
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By *vabCouple
over a year ago
Harrow |
face pics, bank details, phone number and address. I guard em all equally. This is for fun. But a gell has to remember that as well as all those lovely peeps - there are 'characters' out there too...  - if the trust isn't there yet, then it's not... |
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We’ll send ours early on, as there’s no point chatting and chatting and then find there’s no attraction.
We get a feel for people and if they get into game playing with sending pics then we’ll just walk away. We have over 100 pics of us for people to view - they could probably do a photo fit of our pics to make up our face
K |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
In general, I go by "whoever raises the subject sends first", but as above, it's not a playground, so if I'm asked for one and I'm minded to do so, I will.
The lack of one being sent does feed into the decision, but it's only a part of the overall.
And "no, YOU send first" is a red flag - end of contact. |
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If I ask to see a face pic I attach mine with my request. I’d refuse if I was asked to send one and they hadn’t attached a picture with the request. Majority of single men I find do attach a pic with an opening message, if I like the profile and the picture I will return with mine to continue the conversation |
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By *1bttmMan
over a year ago
Shoreditch east London |
I agree totally. If u contact someone then u should be the one sending a face pic. Its rule no.1 for me. 2nd is don't ask for anything yr not prepared to send yrself. If anyone asks me for more pics I politely say "I'm happy to reply to yrs". If they need further clarification I always point out they contacted me.
In past, I've sent pics on request and in a few cases I've got sorry "not for me". So I've learnt from experience it normally comes with the condition attached ....
'If I like what I see I'll reply' so I don't play that game anymore.
I had this debate with a new member recently (2 days), someone not even verified. They felt they had justification to request more pics despite only having 2. They said they couldn't decide so I decided for them. No thanks |
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