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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi Fabbers.
Hope you are having a great Wednesday.
So I've just had an interesting exchange with a guy who messaged me, all very normal to start. However when it became evident we had different opinions he became somewhat abusive and hostile in his replies. I found it quite interesting and quite enlightening.
I'm curious, how common is this behaviour?
And to those of you that have had these experiences from guys before, I feel very sorry that my shared demographic behaves this way.
Anyway he's blocked me now so I'll not figure out what motivated him. But I wish him well on his journey.
Rx |
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Welcome to the internet.
It's not gender specific either.
There are lots of people who like to instruct and school those they chat to in the error of their ways for daring to have a different opinion.
Apparently it's in the small print. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Haha, indeed.
I find psychology so interesting, and am a bit of a nerd with reading up on it (the Lucifer effect is a brilliant read btw).
It's so fascinating to me that opposing viewpoints trigger such a defensive and hostile response. I mean, from what came out of the referendum I really shouldn't be surprised.
But I never thought a chat around being bi, and how the definition of fully bi and orally bi, could trigger such a response.
Live and learn I guess |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Very - and agreed not just men!
People get very brave online "
Interesting, I've not noticed it with women before. But I'm sure there's good and bad in all demographics.
Is it bravery, or a form of cowardice, only feeling empowered with the degree of separation the internet provides.
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"Very - and agreed not just men!
People get very brave online
Interesting, I've not noticed it with women before. But I'm sure there's good and bad in all demographics.
Is it bravery, or a form of cowardice, only feeling empowered with the degree of separation the internet provides.
"
I don't engage directly with men on here but I have chatted to quite a few women who are used to daily validation and having someone tell them they are wrong or misguided is not something that sits well with them.
Their immediate reaction is that the other person then surely has to be an idiot or lacking in something.
Too many of them have been watching the Mandalorian and when someone offers a different viewpoint they are told "This is the way!" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Very - and agreed not just men!
People get very brave online
Interesting, I've not noticed it with women before. But I'm sure there's good and bad in all demographics.
Is it bravery, or a form of cowardice, only feeling empowered with the degree of separation the internet provides.
I don't engage directly with men on here but I have chatted to quite a few women who are used to daily validation and having someone tell them they are wrong or misguided is not something that sits well with them.
Their immediate reaction is that the other person then surely has to be an idiot or lacking in something.
Too many of them have been watching the Mandalorian and when someone offers a different viewpoint they are told "This is the way!""
I fully approve and appreciate your mandalorian reference, well played 
It's funny, in this case I didn't even say he was wrong, I just said what my truth is. But folk are very very narrow visioned and defensive. Feels like it's more so in recent years. Or perhaps I'm only just noticing it.
Appreciate you all taking time to respond to my post. |
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Yes often especially back in the brexit days! And once on a meet! He started of all nice touching my hand over table! One coffee in and it got quite nasty! I got up and left! Made good entertainment for the coffee shop customers though! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes often especially back in the brexit days! And once on a meet! He started of all nice touching my hand over table! One coffee in and it got quite nasty! I got up and left! Made good entertainment for the coffee shop customers though! X"
Wow, I'm sorry you had that experience. Although better it happened in public than in a private setting, which I'm sure would be scarier.
There's a part of me that feels sorry for them. What pain or frustration must they hold that makes them that volatile?
It's quite sad really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had people coming into my dms being transphobic, being fatphobic, being misogynistic; at this point I just ignore them or instantly block them. Sometimes a conversation has been going fine then BOOM transphobia. No point discussing with people like that who won’t change their mind; they are just looking for a punching bag. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ive had people coming into my dms being transphobic, being fatphobic, being misogynistic; at this point I just ignore them or instantly block them. Sometimes a conversation has been going fine then BOOM transphobia. No point discussing with people like that who won’t change their mind; they are just looking for a punching bag. "
There are some hate filled people out there. It always feels more surprising when it comes part way into a conversation.
I'm sorry you've had such hate come your way. Your way of dealing with it sounds sensible. Better to always surround yourself with people that appreciate you for who you are. |
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